Wade’s 101: Headline retrospective
By Wade Kwon- City council puts meeting videos, bickering sound clips for sale on iTunes
- Missing cats return with no explanation of disappearance
- Fan discovers either ‘Alabama’ or ‘Auburn’ could work in football-themed punchline
- Dance recital fails to spark love of arts in parents
- Engineering firm debates best crack pipe material
- Chimp remains mum on gubernatorial candidacy
- English Village candle store burns down over four days; smells like pumpkin, lemongrass
- Forest Park crone asks neighbors to turn down ‘wi-fi racket’
- Leave a penny, take a penny program nets three cents, plastic button
- Jocks, nerds reach tentative peace accord
- West End woman can’t find a man
- Delivery guy can’t find house of ‘Al Cayda’
- Last mall standing wins a Hooters
- Accountant who misplaced precious cash to give seminar on how not to lose precious cash
- It’s always something with that Roebuck
- City’s young professionals getting old
- Midfield woman’s ‘bun in the oven’ was literal, not figurative
- March declared Black Geography Month
- Five Points South muggers form union
- Gardendale residents suspect gambling, pancakes at corner church
- Local high-stakes pinochle tournament fails to attract drunken card sharps
- Bus driver ignores ‘exact change rule,’ but just this once
- Skate punks ruin park experience for taggers, gang bangers
- Transportation department plans to sell ‘Traffic Cam Topless Hotties’
- Alabama, Auburn head to bowl cities for practice, curfew violations
- Category 4 Iron Bowl scheduled to hit Auburn on Saturday
- Shoppers snag big-screen TV sets for Puppy Bowl II on Animal Planet
- Amusement park boasts shorter lines, fewer visitors than ever
- Best Albums of 2005 list eschews albums for compact discs
- Local TV news crimestopper unit mugged in time for sweeps
- State of the city: Alabama
- Lonely billionaire recluse fails to change after discovering true meaning of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa
- Former Birmingham Fire linebacker tosses football with nephews
- It’s official: I’ve become my mother, if my mother were still living at home with her parents
- Recruiting season begins to thin out footballer herds
- Fatter kids to provide abundant Soylent Green
- Glossy social mag reveals hot parties, facelifts
- Downtown law firm litigating at an eighth-grade level
- Spring planting begins with disheartening review of barren yard
- Limestone quarry to be turned into dirt pile, then Starbucks
- Moving party offers only pizza, lite beer to tired sweaty pals
- Southside research lab invents potential cure for winter blahs
- Girl Scouts ‘shocked’ that Thin Mints cause fat customers
- City council wins visitation rights for lobbyist in heated custody battle
- Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers
- Weekend forecast: baby shower, with occasional drooling
- UPS guy, Fedex dude maintain friendly rivalry despite similar routes
- Supermarket samples revealed to be sales gimmick
- Transit board misses meeting because of heavy traffic
- Car dealers abandon downtown for underwater lair
- Seeking better life, onion ring stows away in french fry container
- My grandmother can’t read this blog
- City council approves $50,000 to hire own mayor
- New customer still feels vaguely uneasy about cell phone plan
- Developer plans SoSo (So Southside) housing/retail complex
- Imposter groundhog ruins winter, spring for Birminghamians
- Tire retailers fight to legalize potholes
- Weekend festival to feature ‘found art’ made from rejected art school projects
- Vulcan changes name to ‘Bama_Stud75’
- School fund-raiser marred by exposed payoff scheme to ‘seed pushers’
- East Lake woman can smell your weakness, and it’s tiny muffins
- Teen fans use camphone to document concert, car ride, late-night trip to gas station mart
- Mailman bites tongue over Dora bachelor’s magazines, Netflix choices
- Gas meter reader can’t count that high
- Sudden cold brings hunters out of hibernation
- Bar patron accepts free drink, yet fails to ‘loosen up’
- State organizes intervention for Jefferson County
- Colleges settle rivalry by throwing ball at elevated metal circles
- Paintball players gunned down during deer hunt in park
- Governor asks to boycott travel to moon
- In Birmingham, urge to kill rising, fading, rising, fading
- Adamsville family grudgingly draws for Secret Santa exchange
- Sanitation workers take turns standing in ‘bitch spot’
- Milo’s owner: Teens ‘up to no good’ in parking lot
- Nickelback, Metallica take radio station’s playlist changes personally
- Gubernatorial candidates stump for votes from citizens, jurors
- Carmike bargain movie patron demands $2 refund for $1 ‘Lord of War’
- Summit shoppers ignore Jesus’ return for bargain hunting
- Church bulletin’s swimsuit issue completely sold out
- High school wrestling team to be featured on gay-themed cable channel
- Sale at mall food court leaves shoppers queasy, bloated
- Midfield pharmacist fills prescription for laughter, Lortab
- Forest Park partner promises to clean gutters without really meaning it
- Museum field trip results in horseplay, shouting
- Secret of Bessemer smokehouse’s barbecue sauce? Thiamin hydrochloride
- Passing storms cause outage of lower right corner of TV picture
- Hamas announces Alabama gubernatorial candidate, Ron ‘Bubba’ el Fayid
- Area residents continue to pack on pounds, citing unusual cold weather, buffet specials
- Road work crew falls in giant interstate pothole
- Co-workers shun SEC betting pool champ
- Faith-based coaching leads Daphne to state 6A championship game
- Tuscaloosa promises to stop stealing water, cable from Birmingham
- New sticker features Calvin peeing on blue dot
- Animals running wild, untaxed in Shelby County
- Southside restaurant hostess aspires to be part-time server
- Part of me wants Italian, part of me wants barbecue
- Frigid forecast causes run on soup, DVDs, moonshine
- Office mates’ droning actually kinda soothing
- City Hall undergoes renovation to accommodate mentally challenged councilors
- Get your Valentine’s hopes up now, before it’s too late
- Local music scene feels underappreciated
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Read more Wade’s 101.