Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 2

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  1. age of reason
    Passage of time brings
    us one step closer to death.
    At least we have cake.

  2. when needles attack
    Nurse hunts for shy vein.
    Don’t make me watch don’t make me–
    I’m … going … to … faint.

  3. on the menu
    Sparkling wine, chatter,
    various dead plants, creatures.
    It’s what’s for dinner.

  4. sunday sleepies
    Saturday was fun
    but today demands notice.
    Where has weekend gone?

  5. burger biz
    Grill sizzles with meat
    as hungry patrons line up
    for lunchtime quickie.

  6. you snooze, you snooze
    Buzzing sound scalds ears
    with morning wakeup alarm.
    Get up, or throw clock?

  7. street shuffle
    Jogger treads sidewalk
    while cyclists coast helmetless
    in fading sunlight.

  8. gone to pieces
    Boo hoo, I did drugs
    and wrote best-selling book. Worse?
    I lied to Oprah.

  9. tavern toast
    Biker gang mingles
    with frat boys and old ladies.
    Liquor makes this work.

  10. challenger remembered
    … trod … the sanctity
    of space, put out my hand and
    touched the face of God.

  11. some dissembly required
    Tab A fits slot B.
    Wait, scratched surface and bad screw …
    Chair goes to pieces.

  12. dog day after work
    Four-legged friend rests
    while regulars drink at bar.
    Paws that refreshes.

  13. parts of speech
    Freedom platitude,
    then, call for values, vigor.
    Fate of the union.

  14. nonresponsive
    She doesn’t answer
    but lets it pass aside as
    a touchy subject.

  15. in like a clam
    This cold nasty morn,
    outside conditions rain down
    on bleary workers.

  16. five o’clock world
    Clock counts down minutes
    till quitting time, weekend fun.
    Tick, tick, tick, tick … yay!

  17. names, faces escape me
    Whatever happened
    to ol’ what’s-his-name, you know,
    the one with the mole?

  18. spots and pans
    Beer, burgers, flicks, trucks,
    (Disney, ESPN, Grey’s).
    Your Super Bowl ads.

  19. drawn and martyred
    Comic panel draws
    criticism and riots.
    Yet, Cathy lives. Ack!!!!!!

  20. say say say
    Jokes at my expense …
    Are words flung carelessly, or
    am I sensitive?

  21. balancing fact
    Chores, pets, work, fun, sleep,
    plus time to think, plan, de-stress.
    It’s all a juggle.

  22. anxious order
    Too much social stuff
    brings on fear of going out,
    makes me stay home safe.

  23. five-ring circus
    Olympic fever
    has us in its icy grip.
    Shh! Curling is on!

  24. good on paper
    Wanted: part-time muse
    for literary passion
    and light housekeeping.

  25. prison of my own making
    Task list grows each day
    (can’t say no to anyone!).
    Help me sort through this.

  26. germ warfare
    Flu epidemic
    sweeps through offices and schools.
    Cover your nose, mouth!

  27. not quite a-b-c-b
    Roses are red, but
    haiku demands more than rhyme.
    Ah, romantic verse …

  28. not-fry ‘found’ in my fries
    Bogus lawsuits cause
    consumer probs, so I can’t
    sue for fake damage.

  29. charm of the night
    Beneath cool facade,
    heart pounds with anxious longing
    capped with too brief kiss.

  30. film frenzy
    Camera, lights, mike,
    coffee, 48 hours.
    Let’s make a movie.

  31. java jungle
    Homeless guy wants food.
    I give weekend of coffee.
    Wired, warm … no thanks.

  32. italian iced
    You say Turin, and
    I say Torino. So let’s
    call the whole thing off.

  33. it must be sweeps
    Ice cubes can kill you.
    What you don’t know can kill you.
    More at 11.

  34. project runway
    Stuck at Gate D2
    with delayed flight, bad weather.
    Guess I’ll read a book.

  35. stormy leather
    Boots squeak on clean floor.
    Soles slick with rain residue.
    Nature comes inside.

  36. peanut gallery perspective
    Back row listens, waits,
    while audience still debates.
    Complain and complain.

  37. box brigade
    Time to pack and move.
    Everything must go (or sell).
    Leaving in the morn.

  38. three days left
    Dashiki? textbook?
    Don’t know what to get you for
    Black History Month.

  39. bead start
    Olympics are done.
    But Mardi Gras warming up.
    Let the good times roll.

  40. flu-ent
    Darkness hits my head,
    body too weak to fight back.
    Even soup tastes bad.

  41. junior moment
    When I fall behind,
    I forget to tie my shoes
    or write my haiku.

  42. lazy meditation on spring
    In like a lion?
    Seasons aren’t like animals.
    In like a rustle.

  43. drinking stupor
    Bar crowd draws tighter
    as the hour grows later.
    Last call. Time to sleep.

  44. neighborhood watched
    It’s paranoia
    or just high awareness of
    every little thing.

  45. three-sided world
    Triangles gaze at
    paintings of triangles to
    triangulate life.

  46. secret shame
    Packrat tendancy
    hides in piles and piles of junk
    behind those closed doors.

  47. modem mayhem
    Signal drops out. Crap.
    Call for tech support. Again.
    Signal comes and goes.

  48. echoes of the post
    Plagiarism is
    such an ugly word when sites
    copy all your prose.

  49. lyrical horror
    Sometimes, when we touch,
    the honesty’s too much, and
       â€¦ I now have to puke.

  50. sartorial kryptonite
    Spots tarnish my threads.
    Ack, get that liquid away!
    Bleach, my nemesis.

  51. dusting in the wind
    Why should cleaning be
    limited to springtime when
    homes are dumps year-round?

  52. to send the very bestest
    Homemade cards still need
    personal note to convey
    happiness, good cheer.

  53. lazier sunday
    Nice day to kick back.
    Even us workaholics
    enjoy the respite.

  54. sorely lackey
    Can’t stand up to boss.
    It’s hard out here for a wimp.
    Loser mafia.

  55. moving along
    Spark of life comes from
    striving for more than dreams stuck
    inside our noggins.

  56. date of doom
    Use extreme caution!
    Beware the ides of today
    and live tomorrow.

  57. public anime
    Fight the power. Fight
    the power. We’ve got to fight
    the powers that be.

  58. mad marchness
    Picking teams at will.
    What’s important? Seed or skill?
    Brackets go bye-bye.

  59. ear-itating contest
    Who has the ringtone
    that gets the people talking?
    DJ King Camphone.

  60. best week forever
    Oddly addictive
    sound loops and pop culture pics.
    You’re the man now, dog.

  61. vernal of truth
    Spring has sprung at last.
    A lovely time for strolling and
    taking in the sights.

  62. throaty threshold
    Special growling voice
    comes from mix of age, smoking
    and sickness unchecked.

  63. worse than automated menu
    This rep sends me to
    another rep, who sends me
    to … I just hung up.

  64. chapter the first
    Words tumble on screen
    in ever-flowing burst of
    manic creation.

  65. not an addict
    Healthy addiction
    (no matter how benign) is
    destructive habit.

  66. solitude sitting
    The lonely heart wants
    nothing except to belong
    to that someone else.

  67. in the clear
    Musty boxes and
    cluttered closets must yield to
    spring cleaning deadline.

  68. sit and spin
    Appliance true fact:
    Dryer lives up to its name.
    Clothes not dry. Drier.

  69. txt rsvp
    Wut r u doin
    2nite lets get fd up n
    ill c u l8r

  70. block caption
    Siren gets closer.
    Fire truck tends to neighbor’s
    late emergency.

  71. pipe down
    Dozer cracks asphalt
    to scoop hole in street while men
    squawk on radios.

  72. leftover decision
    Car interior
    smells like doggie bag. Time to
    risk food poisoning?

  73. first of april
    Ha ha ha ha ha.
    Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha.
    Ha ha ha ha ha!

  74. just batty
    Sixty minutes lost
    in order to save daylight?
    But we like the dark!

  75. compulsive affirmative
    Why can’t I say no?
    Hate to turn down everything.
    Like to please others.

  76. southside waiting
    Breeze of cool evening
    brings blocks of evolution
    to still parking lot.

  77. bundle of boy
    Dapper infant shines.
    Swaddling clothes make the baby.
    Stylish from day one.

  78. the anti-diatribe
    Repeating yourself,
    the rant is always the same
    Why so defensive?

  79. snaps reject
    Yo mama so fat,
    she has diabetes and
    other health problems.

  80. storm of sensationalism
    Loudest thunder comes
    from squawking forecasters who
    cloud up the outlook.

  81. off the truck
    Muscles ache with use
    (or frequent lack of use) when
    furniture involved.

  82. wrong turn, right question
    How did I end up
    here in my life when I was
    headed someplace else?

  83. safely inside
    Cave is quite comfy
    when hiding out from the world,
    life in general.

  84. mow town
    Grass needs a-cuttin’
    but mower cowers in fear
    of lurking tall weeds.

  85. store-spangled banana
    Retail-covered land,
    as far as the eye can see,
    oh say can you spend?

  86. fido and fidon’t
    Holiday weekend
    sends neighbors far away from here.
    But who’ll feed the dog?

  87. where troubles melt like lemon drops
    Somewhere over the
    rainbow, skies are blue. And dreams
    really do come true.

  88. rest of the story
    This kind of tired –
    aching eyes, nonstop yawning –
    makes for deep slumber.

  89. head trauma
    Bright light, ow, quit it!
    Skull strains to relieve harsh pain.
    Migraine, go away.

  90. bus line to P street
    Next stop is coming.
    Gather my belongings and
    stand up to get off.

  91. cabin pressure
    Dry atmosphere keeps
    us from mingling with puffy
    clouds out the window.

  92. chorus curse us
    Bad song becomes stuck
    in brain like aural taffy.
    Ears bleed on inside.

  93. springtime pressures
    Rain, rain go away
    until you’re needed again
    to clean up pollen.

  94. weekend outings
    Festival season:
    parking crunches, decent temps,
    fun all around you.

  95. short circuit, long day
    Red wire, then white,
    blue, green, then yellow wire.
    Flip switch, and … nothing.

  96. talking in circles
    Please, please tell the tale
    (one we’ve heard a million times)
    while we drift to sleep.

  97. forgiveness
    You done me wrong, yet
    it’s up to me to forgive.
    My struggle, my life.

  98. time to starve
    Grumbling tummy calls
    for food. Now. But it’s hours
    until I can gorge.

  99. wonder all
    You would be amazed
    at the world out there if you
    just open your (blank).

  100. sales pitched
    Just browsing, thank you.
    No, simply looking around.
    Eek! Salesman!! Retreat!

  101. and the beat goes on
    Poetry of life
    plays out in tiny verses
    day to day to day.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

1 Yip for “Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 2”

  1. Andie
    Friday, January 30, 2009, 10:29 pm
    1

    age of reason
    Passage of time brings
    us one step closer to death.
    At least we have cake.

    tavern toast
    Biker gang mingles
    with frat boys and old ladies.
    Liquor makes this work.

    names, faces escape me
    Whatever happened
    to ol’ what’s-his-name, you know,
    the one with the mole?

    lyrical horror
    Sometimes, when we touch,
    the honesty’s too much, and
    … I now have to puke.

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