Heads and tales: A lesson in subtraction
By Wade Kwon
L is for layoffs: Facing a possible $15 million deficit in the next budget, the Birmingham school system is firing 76 teachers. The move will save $3.8 million, and more will come through retirements and attrition. Superintendent Wayman Shiver Jr. said that the system actually has 130 teachers more than needed. The teachers union pointed out that administrators could have been cut instead or in addition, but the next round of firings will be staff (custodial, kitchen, transportation). At least someone at Birmingham schools can do math.
• City schools lay off 76 teachers [Birmingham News]
Estate of affairs: People are always sticking up for the little guy, but what about the wealthy — can’t something be done to make sure they can make ends meet? Worry no more. The estate tax, or so-called “death tax,” is set to return in 2011, robbing dead millionaires of piles of cash for failing to breathe. That’s discrimination. Let’s look at a typical American family, like the Harberts of Birmingham. Raymond, a hard-working CEO, would have to pay $585 million in estate taxes if his dear mother Marguerite (God forbid) should die today, leaving him with barely $1 billion. That’s hardly enough to cover the funeral. But Raymond has kicked in $500,000 with other patriots to convince Congress to permanently repeal the estate tax. Won’t you donate $500,000, too, to this worthy cause?
• Harbert wealth targets estate tax [Birmingham News]
Bow-w-w-w-w-w-wl!!!!: Due to the critical shortage of bowl games, the NCAA approved four more post-season bowl games, including one at Birmingham’s Legion Field on Dec. 23. The other games are the BCS National Championship Game and ones in Toronto and Albuquerque, N.M. Hey, isn’t Toronto in Canada? Damn NAFTA. Anyway, the Birmingham Bowl will pit the No. 8 team from Conference USA with the No. 9 team from the Big East. OK, we admit that we’re guessing on the which teams will be coming out of those conferences, but if we’re lucky, really lucky, they’ll have a combined record of 12-12 and large contingents of indiscriminate, free-spending, drunken fans. And don’t worry about parking or concessions: We know a few ex-teachers who’ll be happy to serve as cheap labor city ambassadors.
• NCAA approves The Birmingham Bowl [Birmingham News]
Also:
- City plans to sell off excess ozone to airy locales
- Rain delays force extended infield wet T-shirt contest
- Remodeled restaurant still smells like fried ham
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