Wade on Birmingham

Vote 2006: Denial, denial, denial

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No great overarching message can — or should — be culled from the results of Tuesday’s state primaries. Certainly not with a turnout of 38 percent.

As 6/6/(0)6 passes into history, Alabama still stands, daring to defend its rights. Losing candidates may be temporarily shaken from their world of denial by landslide defeats, but the future is wide open. Isn’t it?

What’s left to rail against in this election in 2006, 2008 and beyond? Gays are contained, for now. The Ten Commandments and the rule of law still cohabit peacefully, though out of wedlock. And godless neo-Nazis can’t become attorney general. Maybe state treasurer, but definitely not AG.

Have Alabamians managed to avoid once and for all eternal damnation?

Same-sex stalls

Because it’s an election year, candidates must renew their vows. Specifically, their vow to God. For your protection and mine, that godliness is next to sexual cleanliness, meaning further codification of restrictions on gay marriage.

It sounds good, even if essentially props up an already enacted law banning same-sex unions. It wins over voters, even in the state Democratic party (oh, Democrats, is there any family values issue you haven’t co-opted, or that hasn’t co-opted you?). And it provides cover in the absence of real platforms. Never mind that voters then and now are more concerned with jobs, education, crime, security, immigration, taxes and health coverage.

Realistically, gays will continue to be gay, much to the annoyance of Christian conservatives. They will still hold jobs and find love and pay taxes and buy houses and all that homo stuff. They can’t marry and receive equal protection under the law — a heart-wrenching proposition of your partnership of 30 years is swept away at death by a technicality. No benefits, no inheritance, no rights.

Even with a 4-to-1 vote enacting the amendment (the 744th, for those keeping score), fear not. Alabama has nearly always pulled up the rear (so to speak) in inevitable societal change, from slavery to suffrage to self-serve checkout lines. Gay marriage may happen within our lifetimes, and kicking and screaming will Alabama be dragged into that civil union.

Roy’s rout

Fellow citizens, rest not too comfortably. The will of God was thwarted with the defeat of former chief justice Roy Moore in the Republican primary. So desperately did he cling to the Ten Commandments that he ran for governor to pull off the ultimate merger of church and state. But the wall separating the two still stands, even if it’s crumbling in some spots.

Mr. Riley, tear down this wall.

(Sorry, lapsed into Reagan mode.)

Moore treated us to an odd sight by challenging a popular incumbent within his own party. But thanks to Moore’s squandered momentum and failure to define himself as a leader with a grasp of the issues, Riley sailed to victory, nabbing two-thirds of the party faithful.

Even more odd, Moore thumped the Bible too hard in his gubernatorial quest. Everyone knew he believed in God’s law, even creating a 2-ton monument to the Ten Commandments. But among candidates, especially in an election year, religious zealotry is par for the course.

Moore has said he’s contemplating whether to remain in politics, a statement of denial if ever I’ve heard. The people have spoken, and they like their Commandments preached (not etched), their judges sound (not furious) and their candidates with conviction (not with convictions).

Moore could still position himself to be a kingmaker in future elections by galvanizing the churches and religious groups to channel their funds into PACs. Someone with his savvy could easily persuade the faithful to tithe to his chosen political cause, but his denunciation of PAC funding makes this highly unlikely.

They’re thinking Darby

While voters made clear their allegiance to certain godly undertakings, less clear is their questionable support of the Larry Darby crusade.

Darby’s candidacy lit up the blogs during the run up to the primaries. The fact that you still have likely never heard of him means: A) blogs don’t have the influence that bloggers would have you believe; and B) his crazy leanings reported in the media didn’t reach most voters.

If voters for Darby did know his stance anyway, well, God help us.

Darby was one of two Democratic candidates for attorney general. Strike one is that he’s a lawyer (rim shot!). Strike two is that he’s founder of the Atheist Law Center in Montgomery. As if that weren’t enough, he also said:

  • After declaring martial law, he would round up undocumented immigrants as prisoners of war.
  • To do so, he would promote sheriffs and deputize a civilian police force.
  • He would prosecute the Southern Poverty Law Center for treason for advocating open borders.
  • The center, by the way, monitors activities of hate groups, such as the National Vanguard, a neo-Nazi white power group, of which Darby is a member.
  • And the Holocaust? Never happened.

The former Libertarian tried an aborted run in 2002 for AG, but decided this time his views were more in line with the Democrats. You would think such extreme views would send him to an overwhelming defeat.

After all, you don’t even know who the other candidate is, but as long as he or she is Not-Darby, victory is all but a lock.

Riley topped out at 67 percent of the vote. Gay marriage ban topped out at a whopping 81 percent.

Not-Darby pulled in just 56 percent, with Darby receiving the other 44 percent. Still a landslide, but much closer than the other votes mentioned.

More than 160,000 voters statewide were comfortable enough with Darby’s racism and military dictatorship to support him Tuesday. Or didn’t realize what a pus bucket this guy is. Or both.

Maybe Election Day Denial, or EDD, is a temporary but potentially hazardous health condition. We’re in denial about gay marriage, about over-the-top judges, about Aryan supporters.

Mostly we’re in denial about hell. As the holy rollers would remind us, we’re always this close to winding up on the path to damnation. But Alabama took a couple of steps forward on the path to salvation Tuesday in spite of ourselves.

Denial, be gone. Amen.

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Vote 2006: more coverage of Alabama’s elections

2 Yips for “Vote 2006: Denial, denial, denial”

  1. Jane Green
    Thursday, June 8, 2006, 4:23 am
    1

    I voted for Mr. Darby and I will continue to support him. He was the only candidate offering solutions to serious problems. God bless him!

  2. Wade
    Thursday, June 8, 2006, 9:02 am
    2

    Good for you, ma’am. White power!

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