Wade on Birmingham

Wednesday Night Lights: Corn of plenty

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Let us give thanks for friends, for family, for victory over our enemies. Let us give thanks for Hoover Bucs football, for coaches who still love their mamas and meemaws and for hot cheerleader girlfriends and their hotter squadmates.

Let us give thanks for the very special Thanksgiving edition of “Two-a-Days.” Amen.

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Here comes the rain again: On the indoor practice field, Coach Pruitt tells Max how not to play D.

Highlights from episode 7 of the MTV reality series …

Reel ’em in: Down at the ol’ fishin’ hol’, Alex and Cory gab about the game, about girls, about college girls. Alex says he and sometime girlfriend Kristin are OK, but fight almost daily now (foreshadowing!). Cory says, “Don’t forget what my daddy told ya: Better keep your damn pants zipped up till you gotta pee.” Which is why Cory’s dad is so not invited to the post-game cathouse romp.

Rainy days and two-a-days: Max says rainy days always get him down. The team works out in its indoor practice facility. Yeah, for those just tuning in still stuck with the impression that Hoover is some wide spot in the road filled with yokels, just remember that the squad has a nicer practice space than many college teams.

Still don’t know what’s creepier: editing the show so it seems that Coach Pruitt is always riding Max, or the fact that Max’s stepdad Jim is at every team practice. It’s one thing to live vicariously at all the games, but the scrimmages? Yipes.

Life of the partygoer: Taylor, who coached the senior cheerleaders to victory, throws a party over Thanksgiving break. Keagan, Kristin’s rival, shows up, and naturally, Alex behaves. Like a horny teenage jock. They leave together.

Where’s Kristin? In Pennsylvania visiting her cancer-stricken grandparents. Nice.

The next morning, Cory’s driving Alex around, a la Miss Daisy. Weird. Anyway, Alex says hanging out with Keagan was fun, unlike that killjoy Kristin. Speaking of killjoys, Alex’s dad Michael grounds him for missing curfew by two hours. “Son, you just need to use better judgment,” Michael says. Also not invited to team cathouse romp.

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Coach Propst visits Grandma Clara on Thanksgiving.

Guess who’s coaching at dinner: Coach Propst heads home to Ohatchee, 50 miles northeast of Birmingham, to visit his parents. Yes, they’re dead. No, it humanizes him.

He then visits his bedridden grandmother Clara, bless her heart, who gushes over his accomplishments at Hoover. She then slaps that stupid visor off his head, we wish.

Meanwhile, over at Max’s house, Thanksgiving dinner is served. Family guests include teammates, cheerleaders and, yeah, Coach Pruitt. Really. Creepy.

Endangered species: It’s on versus the Oak Mountain Eagles, the winner going to the 6A championship game at Legion Field. Propst yells, and the team rolls out its “NASCAR offense” to speed things along. No surprises here: Hoover dominates on its way to a sixth championship game. The final … 28-7.

In the locker room afterwards, Goose texts Kristin, and Alex, as always, ain’t happy. Even better, he calls Kristin long-distance at 3 a.m. to break up. Because what’s Thanksgiving without a big turkey.

“Two-a-Days” airs at 9:30 p.m. Wednesdays on MTV, repeating throughout the week and available for free online.

Next episode: The breakup fallout, again. And the championship game, again.

Also:

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Dude, more “Two-a-Days.”

4 Yips for “Wednesday Night Lights: Corn of plenty”

  1. Kendrick
    Thursday, October 5, 2006, 11:59 am
    1

    Two-A-Days reminds me of a redneck Laguna Beach with Football…

    It was just the thing that Hoover needed to inflate its massive ego even more…

  2. Wade
    Thursday, October 5, 2006, 1:20 pm
    2

    It’s so funny when people call Hoover redneck, just because that’s where I grew up — don’t tell anyone.

    Just wait till Hoover gets its own religion and satellite feed…

    Now, now class, settle down.

  3. RJ
    Sunday, October 8, 2006, 11:24 pm
    3

    How come they never talk to the black kids on the team that actually win all the games? They pan the camera across that locker room and there are black players aplenty, but we don’t know their names, they don’t have any families in the stands and we never see them at home with mom and dad. But every time they show game highlights, it’s those nameless black players scoring the touchdowns. I want to know about them, not the white guys with the weird hair who don’t do squat but fight over self-absorbed girls.

  4. Wade
    Monday, October 9, 2006, 11:04 pm
    4

    That’s not entirely correct. Repete has had some camera time, along with his lush of a dad, who’s seen in the stands during the game footage. And awhile back, they showed Bryan, part jock, part band geek. He’s far too interesting for a reality high school drama.

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