Wade on Birmingham

Tuesday Night Lights: Crunch time


The playoffs continue, but the Hoover Bucs aren’t looking ahead to next week.

They’re looking ahead to next year

Yes, the seniors are looking forward to college, playing ball at another level, hanging out with their girlfriends, the whole campus experience. Except for Charlie, who may be repeating kindergarten at the rate he’s going. Even with higher education looming, the team faces the lowdown Thompson Warriors on the latest “Two-a-Days.”


The calm before the storm.

Highlights from episode 6, season 2 of the MTV reality series …


Seriously, a giant photo of Coach Propst at the restaurant
where Mark dines. He’s everywhere!

Where they stop, nobody knows: Look, our gang is ready for college, as evidenced by this montage of spontaneous conversations among family and friends about The Future. Brittany tells the guidance counselor that she’d consider studying fashion at a school in California, but only closer, and with boyfriend Mark. Meanwhile, Mark and the defensive coach are eating out together, where Mark assumes aloud that Brittany will tag along to whatever college will have him.


Brandon takes a college call while eating out with his family. He has high aspirations: Stanford, Ohio State, Syracuse and Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt?! Those geeks can’t play football!







Charlie is ready to settle in Alabama, as is Ross, who will play ball there like his famous older brother, quarterback John Parker Wilson. Except one catch: Ross will be playing baseball. Baseball?! Those geeks can’t play football.


Smack talk: DeJohn, bottom, his dad and his brother all chew/talk with mouths open and beards flappin’. Ew.

DeJohn is concerned, because he doesn’t have the height or speed needed at the college level (for football, not academics or drinking). His dad Mike says it’s OK if he doesn’t get a scholarship — he’ll still pay for college. And DeJohn’s brother Tony tells him to be a walk-on at Alabama, like Rudy.


“… and no brown M&M’s …”

Signing and sighing: Ross’ signing day, his 18th birthday, has arrived. Time to sell his soul to commit to Alabama.


If Ross had picked football, there’d be twice as many cameras
and a hooker jumping out of that cake.

Ross talks about how his dad played college baseball, then minor league ball in the Red Sox system: “Baseball’s always been his favorite thing to do, and that’s rubbed off on me.”


Stupid baseball.

Yes, the TV cameras show up, even for just a baseball signing. Hoover is that important. Meanwhile, Ross’ girlfriend Elliot sulks over not getting enough attention. What?! The young man just signed on for his dream, he’s in the spotlight (not unlike every Friday at game time), but still, it’s his moment. Sorry, girl, no signing day for varsity whining.

Scared stupid: Charlie’s visit to the guidance counselor goes, well, as well as expected. While Brittany might flush her future for a soon-to-be-ex-high-school-jock-boyfriend, Charlie has forgotten that he has actually has to finish high school to make it to Alabama. The guidance counselor warns him that if his GPA continues to slip, it’s community college time.


If I could read this, I’d be totally bummed out right now.

Charlie says that going to Shelton State Community College would be a big letdown compared to Alabama. He vows to hit the books before he hits the wall.


Charlie will make a great professional student aide.


The most damaging permanent record item? Charlie’s mugshot.

If the Visigoths had the Internet …: At practice, the players discuss the trash talk online from Thompson. Specifically, they’re out to hurt Ross on the field. And while he’s used to being in the crosshairs, he said this was something different when there’s malice aforethought.


You should’ve seen the crap they wrote about Ross on Facebook …

The agony of victory: The second week of playoffs sends Hoover to face Thompson on its home turf in Alabaster. Before the game, Coach Propst tells the squad, “We’re the most hated team.”


The Thompson coach, top, ‘waves hello’;
Propst says, ‘Thank you for your hospitality.’


Shake and make up.

In the first half, two Bucs are injured, including Mark. Propst yells at the refs, claiming the other team is using illegal chop blocks. On-field shoving turns into a sideline-clearing melee, as refs, coaches and security guards rush to break it up. Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here — this is the playoffs!

The Thompson coach flips off Propst, who responds with a hearty, “I’ll whip your ass! Fuck you!” And both teams are charged with unsportsmanlike conduct.

In the second half, DeJohn goes down, too, but his injury is an accident while falling over one of his teammates during a play. He’s out the rest of the game, and his football future looks cloudy.

The final? Another blowout victory for Hoover, 31-0, and a costly one at that.


Ouch. DeJohn is in de pain.

“Two-a-Days” airs at 9 p.m. Tuesdays on MTV, repeating throughout the week and available for free online.

Previously: The mystery of Charlie’s missing report card, plus Brittany goes hunting, playoffs begin.
And next: A beatdown during practice; Brittany’s psychic has some bad news about marrying Mark.


• • •

Dude, more “Two-a-Days.”

4 Yips for “Tuesday Night Lights: Crunch time”

  1. Chase
    Wednesday, March 21, 2007, 11:18 pm

    hey guys can i make a suggestion?

  2. chase
    Wednesday, March 21, 2007, 11:20 pm

    hey dejohn i have a friend named lauren fitzgerald that thinks your hott. Look her up on facebook she goes to texas tech. Thanks man, love chase

  3. Wade
    Thursday, March 22, 2007, 7:22 am

    Dude, hook a blogger up! Damn.

  4. BLaine
    Friday, August 29, 2008, 9:50 pm

    yea come to thompson will fuck u up
    warriors baby

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