Wade on Birmingham

Tuesday Night Lights: Stacked deck

By

Producer: “We need you kids to do something to jazz up this week’s episode of ‘Two-a-Days.’

Kids: “We could have a bake sale. Or spend time with the elderly. Or cheer on the Hoover Bucs, our favorite team.”

Producer: “No! I’ve got it! You’re going to (dramatic pause) a psychic.”

Kids: (gasp!)

two-a-days

Practice punches make perfect.

Highlights from episode 7, season 2 of the MTV reality series …

Tarot escape: Brittany, Kristen and bonus cheerleader Maria spend the afternoon visiting the psychic, one who operates out of her Pelham townhouse. Her otherworldly townhouse.

two-a-days

Our neighborhood soothsayer makes pronouncements for the trio based on the Tarot cards.

First, she merely intuits that Kristen puts more into the relationship than her boyfriend, Charlie.

Then, she boldly divines that Brittany will marry young, but not to her boyfriend, Mark. She hasn’t met her future husband yet.

Last, she predicts Maria will get no more screen time this episode.

two-a-days

We predict … tears.

two-a-days

She shuffles the cleavage, er, cards.

two-a-days

Kristen: tears!

two-a-days

Brittany: tears!!

two-a-days

Maria: tears?

Wearing thin: Mark surprises Brittany’s mom by stopping by the house with a surprise for Brittany, a red peacoat. Brittany is either shocked (her version) or underwhelmed (his version). “How did you know I wanted one of these?” “You circled it in that magazine.”

She’s going to make him a great ex-wife some day.

Back in the living room, Mark becomes annoyed when he finds out about the trip to the psychic. Brittany tries to cover up either that they went or that their relationship is doomed, doomed! Yes, they’re actually fighting about this, and in front of the mom.

Mark says, “I’m gonna go see this lady, because I’d be, like, you’re a wrong, crazy, psycho, son of a b that needs to die.”

Later, Mark and Charlie share a laugh over their cuckoo girlfriends and the “witch” who made them all crazy-like. We’re so-o-o bored — why didn’t anyone see this coming?!

two-a-days

Brittany opens Mark’s gift, which can’t be nearly
as cool as the caricature on the wall.

two-a-days

Fat guy and a little coat.

Rematch the first: It’s the quarterfinals, and Hoover faces the Homewood Patriots after crushing them in the regular season. Try to act surprised at the outcome.

Ross throws a couple of interceptions, but still runs in one himself for a 60-yard touchdown. Brandon ends up overlooked, a receiver in name only. DeJohn plays, despite having hurt his knee in last week’s game.

The final? Hoover wins 37-14. On to Vestavia Hills, for another rematch.

two-a-days

Ross: I’ll toss anyone the ball …

two-a-days

… except you, Brandon.

After the game, Coach Propst likens the Vestavia Hills team to kamikazes (the pilots, not the drinks). He says, “They hate your guts, they hate my guts, they hate Hoover. I wanna call it a culture war. It’s a dadgum war between two sets of people.”

Oh Vestavia Hills, why do you hate our freedom?

“Two-a-Days” airs at 9 p.m. Tuesdays on MTV, repeating throughout the week and available for free online.

Previously: Ross picks a school; a foot-brawl at the Thompson game.
And next: The hatred continues against Vestavia Hills. A lousy highlight clip show.

Also:

• • •

Dude, more “Two-a-Days.”

2 Yips for “Tuesday Night Lights: Stacked deck”

  1. Amanda
    Thursday, March 22, 2007, 5:17 pm
    1

    I am the Psychic that did the readings for the girls on 2 A Days. The young ladies are truly a class act and were a pleasure to meet.

    Some people, whom I deem to be quite closed minded, seem to be hasty to throw out words like, “witch, soothsayer, psycho and the list goes on.”

    People are so quick to pass judgement so I would like an opportunity to tell a little bit about who I am. I am a graduate of the University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa. I was a reporter for Alabama Public Radio while in college. I was the national 2nd Place winner in the Hearst Journalism Awards program, the most esteemed award in college journalism. I also won several other awards including “Best News Reporter” and “Best Feature Reporter” from the Alabama Associated Press, to mention a few.

    Upon graduation, I gained employment as Public Relations Manager for an international clean fuels company that was based in Birmingham, Alabama. I worked directly for two prominent Alabama businessmen, Daryl E. Harms, and Donald V. Watkins. We worked directly with the United States Department of Energy, the National Renewable Energy Lab, TVA and many others. I have national and international business, marketing and overall communication experience.

    After that, I was selected to be the co-host of a nationally syndicated entertainment, lifestlye show, nContrast. This show was a product of entertainment mogul, Russell Simmons and still airs in the Birmingham market.

    Chosing not to deal with the hustle of Corporate America, I decided to do what I love and that’s helping people. We all have wonderful and divine gifts… mine happens to be the gift of intuition and I know without a doubt, that gift comes from God… so much for the witch…

  2. Wade
    Thursday, March 22, 2007, 10:07 pm
    2

    I totally knew you were going to say that.

Leave a Yip

Subscribe without commenting