Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 7
By Wade Kwon- techno chronic
Simplest of gadgets
baffles smartest of humans.
Time to reboot life. - stage 6 (2007)
Vault isn’t a real
event, just a sponsor of
Dance Depot dwelling.
Take the floor as two.
Swing your partner round and round.
So much fun you sweat. - stage 5 (2007)
Festival for kids?
But they’re small and can’t afford
Publix shopping. Yet. - stage 4 (2007)
Miller Lite offers
Ludacris, Puddle of Mudd.
Event in reruns. - stage 3 (2007)
Oldies live on at
Mason Corp Oasis, time
capsule of big band. - stage 2 (2007)
Legacy Credit
Union Stage cursed! Last year’s name?
mypeople.com. - stage 1 (2007)
Saddest lineup of
all, hardly headline worthy.
Coke Stage is all flat. - stage 0 (2007)
Alabama Part-
ners for Clean Air Homegrown Stage
takes up most of verse. - cloudy entourage
Thunder and lightning
don’t come round much anymore
but bring guest of rain. - persistence of division
The sorrow isn’t
in being alone. It’s the
habit formation. - natural conservation
Don’t shower. Don’t wash
the car. Don’t water the lawn.
No big change, really. - pond skim
Basin shows bottom
bereft of sparkling waters,
filled to brim with dry. - five cents, please
We could give advice
at reasonable rates, you
worthless helpless fool. - urgent renewal
The chance to begin
again never defeats us,
but instead gives hope. - forward mingling
Frenzy of goodness
as motivated crowds meet
needy do-gooders. - the 12-hour day
Some days drag. But the
marathon sessions fly by
in an unseen blur. - flip flop flip
Seven out of 10
respondents say they like this,
but OK with that. - not an actor
Director picks me
so I can look pretty for
the camera. Cut! - rumbling bumbling dehydrating
Is it allowed to
be this hot? Because the fake
thunder gives me chills. - brisk break
Nine minutes isn’t
enough time to powder nose and
check messages, too. - grunts of respect
We don’t often sing
the praises of those who take
on worst of the work. - toasting with sharks
Volley of drinks and
come-ons make for social scene
fraught with odd peril. - dumping the dot-matrix
Goodbye, old printer.
You made my dreams into reams
of sprocket-fed sheets. - and thus, half the year was gone
The calendar does
not lie, nor does it stand still.
Onward, year that’s left. - seeding the faith
Dear Lord, please don’t make
it rain. Instead, give us strength
when we are thirsty. - an acquired something
Why does no one share
my love of exotic tastes
and lowbrow humor? - sicko feeling
Thank God, I have health
insurance. Even if it
fails to cover me. - free to redeem
Don’t simply fight for
freedoms. Exercise them or
they become worthless. - that’s life
Sometimes fate isn’t
so much cruel as it is a
misguided joker. - it’s easy being green
I cloak jealousy
in winced looks and snide asides
while plotting anew. - odds are
Even “lucky” pairs
who wed triple seven
face odds of divorce. - reduce, reuse, rock on
Celebrities and
rock stars preach green awareness
while stuck in excess. - media shy
Turn the camera
off and focus on someone
other than me, please. - my fair hazy
The rain we gain flows
mainly down the drain. Now, how
does it rain? It wanes. - in preparing for battle
I have … found that plans
are useless, but planning is
indispensable. - a dome of wizardry
Supersize screen makes
trip to movies magical
spectacle of light. - one secret of highly affected people
Much more can be done
in the space of a handshake
and unlikely smile. - they grow so fast
The baby walks and
talks, and the infant quickly
scoots along the rug. - no punchline, no tag
Blogger walks into
a bar and orders a beer,
writes notes on napkin. - and you are?
Faces and names have
no connection, so getting
them right is a win. - too remote a hideaway
Beyond the next pane
lies the long stone balcony
untrod for ages. - flattery in the middle of the day
“I like your outfit,”
exclaims the lady leaving
Wal-Mart. Check me out. - refuse to lose
Kitchen trash can can’t
shake infestation of bugs.
Who knew garbage rots? - and the deathly wallows
Witching hour to
bring hefty volume of wands,
owls and closure. - the 784-page crusade
Read. Read faster. Sleep.
Wake. Eat. Read. Read. Watch TV.
Drink. Read. Still not done. - still wild about harry
Magical series
ends rather memorably.
The boy who lived on. - heels dug in
The old ways sometimes
won’t bend to anything new
which keeps us behind. - puzzles and progress
I could use a few
more pieces in place before
the next phase begins. - backwards and forwards
The plain palindrome
announced its retirement,
then resumed working. - through drooping eyelids
The days just fly by,
not because time’s fleeting, but
from chronic fatigue. - a light came on
Small victories don’t
even feel like wins but more
like natural way. - night retreat
At last, the darkness
recedes while we stare ahead
at a brighter sky. - dousing the electricity
Lights out, then on, then
out. Quenching storm revives land
but cuts the power. - joe mugged
Woe is the coffee
shop that fumbles over small
details and bad scones. - fire up a colortini
Sit back, relax and
watch the pictures, now, as they
fly through the air. (fade) - unhappy hour at the genius bar
The infant laptop
seems helpless as the techie
looks for maladies. - mister collegiality
My job, as I see
it, is success through others
in surprising ways. - valleydale cabal
The secret club meets
at a strip mall restaurant
for Friday dinner. - afternoon ambush
Blessedly hot day
turns steamy with downpour of
cool drenching torrents. - cabbage patch cells
When they come named with
adoption certificates,
I’ll buy an iPhone. - fortune favors the brash
You will meet a kind
stranger by cutting in front
of her in traffic. - jiggy little pill
If you’re happy and
you know it, clap your mouth shut
and stop the Prozac. - originality, not so much
Writing poems, yo.
Best. Guidelines. Evah. Check out
its cliché-y goodness. - half and half
You’ll find that Real World
Me is as painfully dull
and dry as Work Me. - clinging to survive
Vines mount stealth attack
along domestic borders
while we sleep in peace. - i am pong
Wild new gaming style
requires standing, swatting
at virtual ball. - green machine
My life runs on clean,
sustainable, natural
power. And draft beer. - potato, po-screw-yourself
And here we come to
the same argument we’ve had
for the last six years. - so much for scheming
The ideas come
fast and furious, but the
solutions need time. - spiderbun and bun, james bun
Every movie
can be told in 30 ticks
with bunnies. Just watch. - traveling gnome lives up to name
Ceramic icon
takes a holiday. How did
he get that time off? - plus it’s 104
Parking lot blinds with
deep sunshine penetrating
from every windshield. - repair order no. r13598099
Prodigal laptop
returns after visiting,
eating parts unknown. - the twit in twitter
Yes, we can see your
“current status,” but what of
your will to progress? - wrong all wrong
Critical words don’t
often spring from critical
thinking, just big talk. - darkest before the
The civic minded
find their way, even when times
seem hopeless and bleak. - more to read someday
Bundle of books lands
with knowledgeable thud on
crowded sagging shelf. - parlors and parks
Ice cream, baseball, beer
and hot dogs. Summer in one
hot night around town. - putting off eating
The skipped meal leaves a
gnawing sensation growing
in the stomach’s pit. - somewhere over the mountain
Taillights disappear
into turnoffs and driveways
as evening subsides. - march of the sanguine
The trickle of ants
finds its way through unseen gaps
to the countertop. - back to school 1
The mimeographs
still crank out pop quizzes in
purple-tinted prose. - back to school 2
Metal detector
quells youthful exuberance
with beeps and alarms. - back to school 3
32. 15.
26? Damn. How do I
open my locker? - get-together, gathering or party
Welcoming strangers,
bohemian rhapsody
for incoming guests. - pigskin prudes
Pity those elites
who don’t cotton to the smash
and crunch of football. - not quite thunderdome
Two teams enter, two
teams leave. What? We don’t slaughter
the losers for sport. - idle hands and all
“How is work going?”
The reply each time? “Busy.”
Which beats “Not busy.” - working it
You toil your life
away, and for what? Pension
and food and shelter. - post-labor day scofflaw
Look, I’m wearing white!
Nyaah, nyaah. You can’t write me a
ticket, fashion cop. - not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
More than hope, more than
faith, this is true, this is fate.
Yeah, we’re breaking free. - paving the road to hell
It all started with
trying to do it all and
ending with burnout. - amen noodles
Go forth and divide,
cried the devil to his flock.
Who will stop the lies? - what can’t brown do for you?
Even UPS
man needs love. Hot, boxy loads
from big cargo truck. - too long on too high
Burnt something litters
air around oven as a
smelly souvenir. - escalating anticipation
The sales pitch starts with
promise and ends with something
short of nirvana. - if only to remember
Thousands murdered, and
bin Laden roams free. Where are
our priorities? - a moment like no other
I remember when
you’d smile at me, and the world
would forever change. - stacked up
Looking at what’s on
the way seems too much for one
to handle solo. - grief settles in
The sadness hangs like
a piteous cloud, marking
the loss of a friend. - football fanaticism fumbled and recovered
It is easy to
love the coach and team when they
win instead of lose.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101.
