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Weight and See: Gift of the Bernie

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‘The Biggest Loser: Couples’ recap, episode 10

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By Ginny

On “The Biggest Loser,” it’s all about blowing your minds, people. Couples? Finished. Teams? No more.

Without a defensive line (football metaphor), can Enterprise’s Roger Shultz hold his own?

Hold on to your minds, blown or otherwise, after the jump …

We hardly stood ye: The remaining blue team members hold a full-on wake for Mark, sobbing into his twin sheets and calling each other brothers. No, they don’t need therapy at all. The blackies wish Roger had been eliminated, saying that Mark, Jay and Dan have basically just handed him $250K. Yup.

The Biggest Loser

Blue baroo-o-o-o-o-o-oo …

I call this week’s temptation American Roulette, a game where each player pushes buttons on a vending machine for a random reward. Items include high-calorie snacks (which must be consumed), sugar-free chewing gum (which represents a cash prize and a free turn) and a 1-pound pass (for the weigh-in).

Roger’s into the challenge: “(Vending machines have) always really been a friend of mine. You put a little in, and you get somethin’ really nice out of it …”

The Biggest Loser

… which is also how I got my son.

Almost everyone ends up with a 1-pound pass, including Roger, and a few win quite a bit of money. Dan punctuates his cash rewards with “That’s what I’m talking about!” giving me one more reason to never travel with him to Vegas.

Bernie’s choice: As player of the week, Bernie chooses a game play reward: giving immunity to another player. We segue into the other kind of immunity, with a return trip to the hospital.

The good news? The players receive an upgrade from “critical” (awarded during their earlier trip to the morgue) to “fair.” The great news? Kelly learns that she might still be fertile. No rotting eggs there, my friend.

The timed challenge involves scooting down and up a zip-line over a giant canyon to pull off attached flags. Winners participate as old-fashioned fighter pilots — yet another random challenge with a random prize for which “Loser” has become known.

Why they can’t get any consistency to this show, I have no idea. But it’s an upper-body strength challenge, so blue takes it and bonds even further over the prize.

In the meantime, Bernie has to assign his free immunity to someone, choosing former partner Brittany, the last couple standing among the gang of seven.

The Biggest Loser

This season’s first contestant to drop 100 pounds. Touchdown!
(Or whatever the equivalent thing is for linemen.)

The weigh-in: Ali kicks it off with surprise twist No. 472: no more teams, as everyone will compete individually from here on out. Soon, they’ll be weighing in one cell at the time, and I will be doing recaps forever.

In the end, last-place Kelly and Bernie face elimination. Ironic, since his gift saved Brittany from the bottom two.

As the bigger threat, the former blues eliminate Bernie. I begin planning his wake, then call my therapist.

The Biggest Loser

My boyfriend Bernie. Who I am not stalking.

The Biggest Loser

Bernie looks adorable (obviously). How do you think the producers do so well at casting contestants who look great after slimming down? Or does everyone look good when they’re thin?

“The Biggest Loser: Couples” airs at 7 p.m. Tuesdays on NBC 13.

Previous: Sing it now … “The blue team’s going to Vegas.”
Next: The big reunion. Two months early.

Also:

  • For the love of Roger: “Shultz, who could clearly still clean my clock, several of my friends’ timepieces, and most of our furniture and indeed entire households without breaking a sweat, is proving tough competition.”
  • Roger on his teammate Trent Patterson: “We can communicate without talking to each other, which I’ve found out on reality TV isn’t always the best thing.”

Ginny, pop culture and fashion maven, dares you to read her blog, whiskey. tango. foxtrot., at blog.myspace.com/whiskeytangofoxtrotblog.

• • •

Shape up: more “Biggest Loser” at biggestloser.wadeonbirmingham.com.

2 Yips for “Weight and See: Gift of the Bernie”

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