The 2008 Ultimate Summer Movie Guide

Time to go to the movies. But not just the standard Hollywood fare at the multiplex.

Welcome to the 2008 Ultimate Summer Movie Guide, with more than 60 movies in over a dozen venues. And most of them are free — some even have free food and drink.

It’s a comprehensive look at all films in all places around Birmingham. So thank you, and enjoy the movie.

Updated with full alphabetical and chronological lists …

Full list of movies:

NON-CHAINS

Alabama Theatre

Opening cartoons! Organ music! Real Cherry Cokes! How can you not love old-time moviegoing here? $6, $5 for senior citizens and children under age 12. 7 p.m. Saturdays and 2 p.m. Sundays. (Mighty Wurlitzer starts at 7 p.m. and 1:30 p.m.) [map | event details]

June 7-8: “Gone with the Wind”
It wouldn’t be summer at the Alabama without another trip to Tara. (But we still love the burning of Atlanta.)
June 21-22: “Jaws”
Two words: Bite me.
June 29: “The King and I”
Anything that’s banned in Thailand has got to be awesome.
July 12-13: “The Sound of Music”
Christopher Plummer reportedly called it “The Sound of Mucus.” We’d roam the school singing, “The halls are alive with the sound of Morgan …” (Two non sequiturs for the price of one.)
July 19-20: “The Shawshank Redemption”
Still battling with “The Godfather” on IMDB as greatest movie of all time.
July 26-27: “Raiders of the Lost Ark”
No time to argue. Throw us idol, we’ll throw you the whip!
Aug. 2-3: “Grease”
The version with Frankie Avalon, not Taylor Hicks.
Aug. 9-10: “Blazing Saddles”
Mel Brooks at his ballsiest best. They don’t make satiric Westerns like this anymore.
Aug. 16-17: “Blue Hawaii”
The first of Elvis’ Hawaii trilogy.
Aug. 23-24: “National Treasure”
Nicholas Cage finds lost treasure. And yet he can’t find Osama …

The Alabama also has special children’s matinees at 2 p.m. Saturdays. $5.

June 7: “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”
“No one’s ever gonna pay a dime to see a dwarf picture.” — Walt Disney’s wife, Lillian
June 21: “Beauty and the Beast”
It’s not natural, we say, not natural at all.
July 12: “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
The 1971 version with a weirded-out Gene Wilder. “I want an Oompa Loompa now!”
July 19: “The Lion King”
One little cartoon spawned three Oscar-nominated original songs. Oh, and Jeremy Irons = evil.
July 26: “Sleeping Beauty”
Psst. Don’t mention anything about her turning 50 next year.
Aug. 2: “Gremlins”
Hey, China, why aren’t they the mascot for the Olympics this year?
Aug. 9: “Cinderella”
Back in high school, our pal A. loved the part with where she spins and the fancy dress magically appears.
Aug. 16: “The Wizard of Oz”
So why hasn’t there been a Latino musical version, hmm?
Aug. 23: “Enchanted”
Another triple-song Oscar nominee. You call it “magic.” We call it evil witchcraft.

Free Friday Flicks at Homewood Park

The summer mainstay takes an unexpected turn with a three-month salute to the dystopian vision of Ingmar Bergman. Just kidding. Animated bees, Harry Potter and gigantic robots that are sometimes not robots. Free. Feature starts at sunset. [map | event details]

June 6: “Bee Movie”
(In Seinfeldian intonation) What’s the deal with comedians and their overhyped animated dreck?
June 13: “Horton Hears a Who!”
Jim Carrey + Dr. Seuss + animation = good. Jim Carrey + Dr. Seuss + live action = bad (see “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!”).
June 20: “Transformers”
My first car didn’t even have FM. Also, it probably would’ve morphed into a crappier hatchback with deadlier exhaust.
June 27: “Shrek the Third”
Mike Myers, somehow dodging the direct-to-DVD sequel syndrome.
July 11: “The Spiderwick Chronicles”
Based on the popular series of children’s books you’ve never read.
July 18: “Charlotte’s Web”
Will it be the beloved 1973 animated classic with Debbie Reynolds and Paul Lynde or the 2006 live-action version with Julia Roberts and Steve Buscemi?
July 25: “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”
Wizard smackdown! Voldemort vs. Dumbledore at the Ministry.
Aug. 1: “Surf’s Up”
When surfing documentaries end up as surfing mockumentaries starring animated penguins, maybe it’s time to wrap up the genre.
Aug. 8: “Nim’s Island”
Little Miss Sunshine looks to rescue her missing scientist pop.

Homewood Public Library

The Homewood Public Library has gone buggy as it serves up Monday Movies tied to its Summer Reading Series, “Catch the Reading Bug!” Free. 3:30 p.m., Children’s Auditorium. [map | event details]

June 9: “A Bug’s Life”
Before talking cars and talking robots, a more down-to-earth (ha!) look at talking bugs from Pixar.
June 23: “The Ant Bully”
Surprisingly rife with Oscar winners for a bug cartoon.
July 7: “Mulan”
The Disney movie was good, but the live action version with Zhang Ziyi and Michelle Yeoh will be super sweet.
July 21: “Charlotte’s Web”
Will it be the beloved 1973 animated classic with Debbie Reynolds and Paul Lynde or the 2006 live-action version with Julia Roberts and Steve Buscemi?
July 28: “How to Eat Fried Worms!”
Don’t even get us started on the trans fats!

Hoover Library Theatre

Free refreshments, plus they do the movies all year long. Free. 2 and 6:30 p.m. Mondays. [map | event details]

June 23: “Superman”
It’s hard to believe seven convoluted seasons of “Smallville” leads to this magnificent champion.
July 28: “Overboard”
It spawned a Korean TV drama, a Bollywood film and Madonna’s “Swept Away.” Two outta three ain’t bad.
Aug. 25: “Field of Dreams”
Considering how much corn is in our food and food products today, maybe ghost-ridden baseball field does make sense.

Levite Jewish Community Center

The LJCC puts on the ultimate bargain matinee. $2 (includes popcorn and soda). 1 p.m. Mondays. [map | event details]

June 16: “51 Birch Street”
A doc about the travails of a seemingly normal suburban family. Critics from the New York Times and the Chicago Sun-Times named it a Top 10 movie for 2006.
June 23: “The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter”
Deaf-mute does good.
June 30: “Juno”
Pregnant teen hipsters, unite!

Or take in the Art House Independent Film Series. $5 (includes popcorn and soda). 7 p.m., Senior Lounge. [event details]

June 11: “51 Birch Street”
A doc about the travails of a seemingly normal suburban family. Critics from the New York Times and the Chicago Sun-Times named it a Top 10 movie for 2006.

Sundown Cinemas at Helena Old Towne Amphitheater

Also free. Also Fridays. Different park. 8 p.m. [map | event details (PDF)]

June 6: “Spider-Man 3”
Sigh. And we thought “X-Men: The Last Stand” was overwrought.
June 13: “Shrek the Third”
Mike Myers, somehow dodging the direct-to-DVD sequel syndrome.
June 20: “Transformers”
My first car didn’t even have FM. Also, it probably would’ve morphed into a crappier hatchback with deadlier exhaust.
June 27: “Bee Movie”
(In Seinfeldian intonation) What’s the deal with comedians and their overhyped animated dreck?
July 11: “The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep”
Maybe adolescents shouldn’t care for strange eggs that turn into Loch Ness monsters.
July 18: “Shark Tale”
Apparently, De Niro will do just about any mob-related schtick. Any.
July 25: “Grease”
The version with Frankie Avalon, not Taylor Hicks.
Aug. 1: “The Incredibles”
Maybe the best Pixar film. Maybe the best superhero origin film. Plus, Edna Mode!
Aug. 8: “Cars”
Bonnie Hunt, we’d see you in anything!

CHAINS

Alabaster 14

At this chain, more daytime kiddie flicks, but with a price. Maybe it’s the better deal after all … $3 (includes popcorn and soda). 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Wednesday. [map | event details]

June 10-11: “Open Season”
Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher lend their voices to this tale of a bear facing hunting season. “Well, I say he does have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!”
June 17-18: “Ice Age”
Believe it or not, it’s actually based on the 1948 John Wayne/John Ford pic, “3 Godfathers.” We’re just as surprised as you are.
June 24-25: “Charlotte’s Web”
Will it be the beloved 1973 animated classic with Debbie Reynolds and Paul Lynde or the 2006 live-action version with Julia Roberts and Steve Buscemi?
July 1-2: “Alvin and the Chipmunks”
Live-action train wreck. Earl, this has to go on your karma list …
July 8-9: “Bee Movie”
(In Seinfeldian intonation) What’s the deal with comedians and their overhyped animated dreck?
July 15-16: “Flushed Away”
What is it with animated rodents in Europe? Mice try to escape the London sewers. Rats.
July 22-23: “Madagascar”
Shipwrecked animated penguins.
July 29-30: “Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius”
Usually, it’s Nickelodeon show first, then movie. Leave it to Jimmy to screw that up, too.

Lee Branch 15 / Patton Creek 15

Two of three chain theaters continue their daytime offerings of kids’ fare. Free. 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Wednesday. [maps: Lee Branch, Patton Creek | event details]

June 10-11: “Alvin and the Chipmunks”
Live-action train wreck. Earl, this has to go on your karma list …
June 17-18: “Bee Movie”
(In Seinfeldian intonation) What’s the deal with comedians and their overhyped animated dreck?
June 24-25: “Shrek the Third”
Mike Myers, somehow dodging the direct-to-DVD sequel syndrome.
July 1-2: “Firehouse Dog”
Spoiled celebrity ends up in working-class firehouse. Rexxx the dog or Paris Hilton reality show?
July 8-9: “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium”
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone called it the Worst Family Film of 2007: “If you can endure ‘Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium’ for five minutes without puking, your stomach is cast-iron.” Dustin Hoffman, you are on notice.
July 15-16: “Charlotte’s Web”
Will it be the beloved 1973 animated classic with Debbie Reynolds and Paul Lynde or the 2006 live-action version with Julia Roberts and Steve Buscemi?
July 22-23: “Surf’s Up”
When surfing documentaries end up as surfing mockumentaries starring animated penguins, maybe it’s time to wrap up the genre.
July 29-30: “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie”
Bless you, Judeo-Christian produce!

Trussville 16

A third chain theater continues its daytime offerings of kids’ fare. Free. 10 a.m. Tuesdays and Wednesday. [map | event details]

June 10-11: “Everyone’s Hero”
If you like computer-animated movies about 1930s life and Yankees vs. Cubs, look no further. With Whoopi Goldberg as the voice of Babe Ruth’s bat.
June 10-11: “TMNT”
The fourth movie in the franchise, but at least this one has Buffy.
June 17-18: “Mr. Bean’s Holiday”
Does no one realize Mr. Bean exhibits seven of the 10 classic traits of serial killers?!
June 17-18: “Surf’s Up”
When surfing documentaries end up as surfing mockumentaries starring animated penguins, maybe it’s time to wrap up the genre.
June 24-25: “Bee Movie”
(In Seinfeldian intonation) What’s the deal with comedians and their overhyped animated dreck?
June 24-25: “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie”
Bless you, Judeo-Christian produce!
July 1-2: “Open Season”
Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher lend their voices to this tale of a bear facing hunting season. “Well, I say he does have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!”
July 1-2: “Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit”
The first full-length Wallace and Gromit film, and totally worth the wait. Plus, stop-motion villainous penguin.
July 8-9: “Charlotte’s Web”
Will it be the beloved 1973 animated classic with Debbie Reynolds and Paul Lynde or the 2006 live-action version with Julia Roberts and Steve Buscemi?
July 8-9: “Night at the Museum”
Because a day at the museum might actually be educational.
July 15-16: “Alvin and the Chipmunks”
Live-action train wreck. Earl, this has to go on your karma list …
July 15-16: “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium”
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone called it the Worst Family Film of 2007: “If you can endure ‘Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium’ for five minutes without puking, your stomach is cast-iron.” Dustin Hoffman, you are on notice.
July 22-23: “Doogal”
And Jon Stewart’s cinematic reign of terror continues in this imported French flick about an animated dog who’ll do anything for his sweet tooth.
July 22-23: “Firehouse Dog”
Spoiled celebrity ends up in working-class firehouse. Rexxx the dog or Paris Hilton reality show?
July 29-30: “Happy Feet”
The animated dancing penguins, not the animated surfing penguins.
July 29-30: “March of the Penguins”
Penguins rule.

ALSO

Birmingham Museum of Art

In conjunction with the “Vanishing Worlds: Art and Ritual in Amazonia” exhibit. Before the 2:30 p.m. movie, a Topic Tour in the Main Lobby at 2 p.m. Free. Steiner Auditorium. [map | event details]

June 8: “The Burning Season”
TV movie about a Brazilian rubber tapper who led a revolution. Raul Julia earned an Emmy for his portrayal of protagonist Chico Mendes.

Bottletree Cafe

Free. 8 p.m. [map | event details]

June 11: “YouTube Video Show-and-Tell Night”
Star Wars kid. “Chocolate Rain” guy. Skateboarding dog. Wouldn’t it be funnier to act them out?

Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival

$10, $8 for members. 7 p.m. WorkPlay (time and price TBA). [map | event details]

July 30: “Scramble X Screening”
See all the films from the latest Sidewalk Scramble, though we’d hardly call it a “scramble,” as the teams will have 10 days to make their entries. In my day …