Wade on Birmingham

Archive for December, 2012

2012 in review

Monday, December 31st, 2012

47 per-
cent, Sandy, Obamacare,
Aurora, Newtown.

• • •

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meanwhile in the nba

Sunday, December 30th, 2012

Maybe out-of-work
replacement refs can call some
balks or high sticking.

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the dentist will be with you shortly

Saturday, December 29th, 2012

The sound of high-pitched
drilling in the next room made
her squirm in her chair.

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around the world in 80 weeks

Friday, December 28th, 2012

His sails unfurled, he
roamed the South Seas in search of
a cure for heartbreak.

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hipster verse

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

This haiku is so
played out. Twenty-seven is
the new seventeen.

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it would have jazz and franklin and some swahili

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

When will Charlie Brown
discover the true meaning
of Kwanzaa? Good grief.

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Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 25th, 2012

Video: “All I Want for Christmas,”
by Jimmy Fallon, Mariah Carey and the Roots

May your day be merry and bright!

Video: More than 3 hours of holiday hits!

christmas morning, 8:37

Tuesday, December 25th, 2012

A hurricane struck
the living room leaving shreds
and bows in its wake.

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the instructions are in chinese

Monday, December 24th, 2012

Santa’s helpers all
over the world sweat and curse
at bicycle parts.

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festivus maximus

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

Let the airing of
grievances bring out the true
holiday spirit.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 26

Saturday, December 22nd, 2012

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  1. frenemies till the end
    They couldn’t agree
    on shoe stores, wine lists, small talk
    or most anything.
  2. that’s opera, doc
    Everyone could tell
    the dragon was fake when it
    became a giant.
  3. that song
    That song reminds me
    of gorgeous days, holding your
    hand, laughing, crooning.
  4. a day of rest
    Even the dog plopped
    down to snooze, paying no heed
    to the yard’s squirrels.
  5. tolerance goes only so far
    The chosen kept a
    humble presence, except when
    facing the unblessed.
  6. the hanging
    The townspeople found
    their spots in the square, children
    laughing and pointing.
  7. 19 trips to the thrift store
    She planned and sewed to
    cover her curves. Barely. Best
    Halloween ever!
  8. beneath the carpet
    Dusty matted scraps
    reveal stained subfloor rolling
    in uneven waves.
  9. the hum of the vending machines
    The break room seemed much
    quieter after half of
    the floor was laid off.
  10. the fall brigade
    Horses with dazzling
    manes sweep in on blustery
    winds to transform all.
  11. coffee on the porch
    He would look up from
    his cup to see her gazing
    softly at the trees.
  12. petal fatigue
    “Autumn is a sec-
    ond spring when every leaf is
    a flower.” — Camus
  13. a litter of flags
    Yellow molehills dot
    the turf to interrupt the
    ongoing action.
  14. an afternoon quaffing
    The bartender showed
    us his preferred brew, but we
    knew the taproom well.
  15. romp the leaves
    Master and canine
    set forth on the trail, happy
    to hide in the woods.
  16. his only job was to bang the keys
    The bride’s side and groom’s
    side fanned themselves. The players
    kept the tunes going.
  17. the oldies station meets cobain
    Grunge playing in the
    elevator, Soundgarden
    in the garden shop.
  18. the new new prophets
    Their cries of doom warn
    that the end times are near, that
    the future will be … meh.
  19. dump the slump
    Good posture can be
    sexy, she said, as I sat
    upright in my chair.
  20. search, copy, paste, repeat
    The answers we seek
    can often be found once we
    leave route 404.
  21. give a hoot, don’t commute
    Ralph poured out lukewarm
    latte and swore as he drove
    past the bus stop crowd.
  22. a disciplined laziness
    Every fiber told
    her to do something, but she
    kept still, unraveled.
  23. save the darkness
    Gazing upon the
    night sky reveals the hazy
    fog of light from Earth.
  24. the new old season
    Viewers tuned in to
    see the spectacle, finding
    reruns of concepts.
  25. that’s using your head
    The players spent their
    later years in concussive
    haze. The helmets? Fine.
  26. the span of a few hours
    Ennui, then blackout,
    then worry, then terror, then
    exhaustion, now safe.
  27. vehicular gallantry 2012
    Parking within the
    stripes and letting fire trucks
    and police cars through.
  28. the elephant’s dilemma
    The pachyderm sweats
    over every stomped mouse and
    fat joke ever heard.
  29. for richer and for richerer
    The way to riches
    is down the aisle to marry
    a wealthy old fool.
  30. 10:15 in the balcony among the daytraders
    They discussed the world’s
    affairs over the clatter
    of the coffee beans.
  31. a carrot, some rice and a filet
    The small plastic scale
    dutifully pointed to
    ounces sans judgment.
  32. it’s supposed to be fun
    Worry crossed the brow
    of the mathematician
    learning to pole dance.
  33. scene from a dugout
    The players waited
    nervously to bat, while the
    manager crunched stats.
  34. life in the lines
    The current zips through
    invisibly, electric
    mayhem seeks outlet.
  35. binders of women
    Motherhood, sharing,
    oppression, resilience, wiles,
    nurturing and love.
  36. skyfall
    Man soars to new heights,
    only to plunge himself back
    into Earth’s bosom.
  37. willful ignorance
    They thought themselves well-
    informed, yet filtered out all
    dissenting viewpoints.
  38. a better take on childishness
    No one’s voice spoke more
    clearly than that of the girl
    who asked softly, “Why?”
  39. the deer are coming
    The bow was restrung.
    The fatigues washed and folded.
    The alarm clock set.
  40. the boundaries of knowledge
    We think we know it
    all, but our ignorance is
    so unlimited.
  41. the intersection of technology and greed
    This new tablet does
    everything the old one did,
    but comes in purple.
  42. the authentic con man
    He knew what he was
    talking about, leading those
    wanting to follow.
  43. got my mind on my honey
    I wonder if she
    still thinks about me as she
    moves on with her life.
  44. halloween 2012
    Scavenging trunks for
    gluten-free treats, bobbing for
    organic apples.
  45. teasin’ seasons
    Winter never shows,
    left unwelcome by summer’s
    enduring heat wave.
  46. end of the set list scribbled on a napkin
    The rutted yard teemed
    with guests sipping and laughing
    while the band packed up.
  47. the phantom zone
    The residents live
    in a fog of unhappy
    thoughts, immune from ghosts.
  48. frankenfury
    She came ashore in
    a huff, embracing landmarks
    only to crush them.
  49. destroy all monsters
    Today, they want some
    candy. But tomorrow, they
    return for our houses.
  50. canal streets
    The murky surface
    lapped the tops of cars along
    flooded city roads.
  51. a nation of know-it-alls
    The fashionable
    thing is to chop off one’s ears.
    No one’s using them.
  52. over his shoulder
    He would laugh at an
    odd thought, then reminisce on
    things that might have been.
  53. defeat comes in many forms
    Weakness, fatigue, poor
    planning, despair, undermanned,
    loss of interest, time.
  54. proto-butterfly
    The cocoon wasn’t
    up to specs, so the planners
    trashed that model, too.
  55. how we vote
    By screen, by ovals,
    by absentee, by punches,
    with our heads and hearts.
  56. this american century
    Conqueror and king,
    ally and debtor, brashly
    we advance ourselves.
  57. i must confess
    I hate children and
    pets. I’m shorter in person.
    I worship Snooki.
  58. the death of the middle class
    They could no longer
    afford luxuries such as
    iPads, kids and food.
  59. the walk to the park
    The sleek mom pushed the
    huge stroller up the street, the
    dog lunging at cars.
  60. those who came back home
    Not a one escaped
    without a scar somewhere, a
    surprise souvenir.
  61. risk is relative
    Speaking up for some,
    hang gliding for others, the
    line each of us draws.
  62. the unsuspecting turkey
    Full of hormones and
    grain, the fat turkey strutted
    about the homestead.
  63. security layers
    Do clothes protect us
    from the elements, or keep
    us from busting out?
  64. cutting it closer and closer
    Her job gone, she stared
    at the pile of overdue
    bills with tears flowing.
  65. out of place
    The walls were closing
    in while everyone stared hard
    at the odd loner.
  66. goodbye, pumpkin
    The last Halloween
    treat tasted more bittersweet
    than he expected.
  67. gut check
    They hit the scale first
    thing each morning, peeking through
    their trembling fingers.
  68. war on black friday
    The bargain hunter
    weighs the plight of the worker
    against cheap products.
  69. digital servitude
    Happily the voice
    chirped responses to the man
    barely making it.
  70. a creeping fatigue
    The view is blurry.
    Thoughts come ever so slowly.
    Asleep, then awake.
  71. the pilgrimage
    Around the table
    gather families of blood
    and circumstances.
  72. thankfulness, be gone
    The smart shoppers head
    out to fill their lists while the
    smarter ones sleep in.
  73. rivalry implies civility
    Their unis are gross,
    their coach is the devil, and
    their players deal drugs.
  74. away in a manger 2012
    No room at the inn,
    the couple hit the ER
    and took a number.
  75. noel box no. 17
    Attics and basements
    disgorge their troves of garlands,
    lights and ornaments.
  76. the little shadow
    The little shadow
    tiptoed to keep tabs on the
    trespassing neighbor.
  77. a whiff of scandal
    A rumor brought out
    the bloodhounds and the wolves on
    the hunt for fresh meat.
  78. the heart doesn’t want what the heart doesn’t want
    Forgiveness, progress
    remain untouched, while loathing
    jealousy keep watch.
  79. secrets and lives
    They went about their
    business, keeping all the lies
    tidy in their heads.
  80. sleigh maintenance
    Elf mechanics put
    in new brakes, tune the 13-
    reindeer engine up.
  81. deck the gutters
    Squirrels sometimes trip
    over barbed strings of lights as
    they scurry and shop.
  82. saturdays muted
    The locker rooms are
    empty, the fans have gone home.
    Just wait till next year.
  83. almost tropical
    The trees shed their leaves
    only to broil in the
    sun, a fall of fail.
  84. a modern love story
    Boy meets girl. Boy texts
    girl. Boy Facebooks girl. Boy gets
    girl. Boy defriends girl.
  85. the distant corner of the map
    Far beyond the well-
    worn trails lies the uncharted
    way to adventure.
  86. letters from the front
    At night, the shells and
    rocket grenades seem to hit
    all around our base.
  87. the prediction
    In 4 months, you will
    meet an enchanting lady
    and fall for her smile.
  88. thirsty are the damned
    If you forget your
    social status, bartenders
    make you wait for it.
  89. birth of a notion
    The ether inhaled
    sparks confusion and wonder
    leading to rebirth.
  90. job? creator
    Each radish rose, each
    drizzle of sauce, painstaking
    attention to grub.
  91. the legend of johnny football
    He could throw for miles
    while dodging tanks and flashing
    a near-blinding smile.
  92. the fake housewives of siluria
    The tans were mostly
    chemical, the enhancements
    mostly silicon.
  93. the parade of hurricanes and tornadoes
    A constant state of
    preparedness is its own
    natural disaster.
  94. the day the facebook died
    No matter how much
    they refreshed their laptop and
    phone screens, all was blank.
  95. the fugitive 2012
    He simply killed his
    Twitter account and threw his
    cell phone in the trash.
  96. the newtown address
    Let us find strength to
    carry on, make us worthy
    of their memory.”
  97. debate format
    Shall we argue through
    competing e-petitions
    or talk radio?
  98. bullying at the north pole
    Rudolph the red-nosed
    reindeer had a very bad
    eating disorder.
  99. soup’s on
    The brown-red broth seethes
    and bubbles, preparing for
    senseless consumption.
  100. where once winter
    Jack Frost can’t figure
    out how to freeze such an in-
    temperate planet.
  101. and the world keeps on spinning
    Yesterday, over
    150,000
    souls saw the world end.

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where once winter

Friday, December 21st, 2012

Jack Frost can’t figure
out how to freeze such an in-
temperate planet.

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soup’s on

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

The brown-red broth seethes
and bubbles, preparing for
senseless consumption.

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bullying at the north pole

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

Rudolph the red-nosed
reindeer had a very bad
eating disorder.

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debate format

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

Shall we argue through
competing e-petitions
or talk radio?

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