Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 27

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  1. festivus maximus
    Let the airing of
    grievances bring out the true
    holiday spirit.
  2. the instructions are in chinese
    Santa’s helpers all
    over the world sweat and curse
    at bicycle parts.
  3. christmas morning, 8:37
    A hurricane struck
    the living room leaving shreds
    and bows in its wake.
  4. it would have jazz and franklin and some swahili
    When will Charlie Brown
    discover the true meaning
    of Kwanzaa? Good grief.
  5. hipster verse
    This haiku is so
    played out. Twenty-seven is
    the new seventeen.
  6. around the world in 80 weeks
    His sails unfurled, he
    roamed the South Seas in search of
    a cure for heartbreak.
  7. the dentist will be with you shortly
    The sound of high-pitched
    drilling in the next room made
    her squirm in her chair.
  8. meanwhile in the nba
    Maybe out-of-work
    replacement refs can call some
    balks or high sticking.
  9. 2012 in review
    47 per-
    cent, Sandy, Obamacare,
    Aurora, Newtown.
  10. a prayer for the new year
    May we all find and
    keep the one thing that sets our
    heart aflame. Amen.
  11. the naming of dogs
    Whatever sets their
    tails wagging and tongues drooling
    should be sufficient.
  12. on loop at the java hut
    The drive-through is manned
    by the chipperest fellow
    you ever did meet.
  13. the rowing machine is occupied
    The regulars were
    eying sweaty newcomers
    from their treadmill posts.
  14. pint-size perpetual motion machine
    The toddler ran from
    diner to diner, like a
    waiter in training.
  15. one cubicle over
    The closest colleague
    reeks of cheap tobacco and
    some baby’s spit-up.
  16. baptist-catholic scrum
    The Catholics prayed
    for salvation, while Baptists
    damned their wretched foes.
  17. the grownup kids table
    Adults should act like
    adults, except for adults
    who aren’t quite there yet.
  18. surfing at the library
    The most powerful
    tools of our lifetime, used to
    waste moments and gawk.
  19. ghost signs around us
    Bricks with paint tell the
    story of a city with
    big aspirations.
  20. resolution without resolve
    Change was scary, and
    so the resolute became
    the never-started.
  21. the future is always at hand
    Technology, norms,
    culture, society. All
    quickly evolving.
  22. all praise among the faithless
    They looked for hope, they
    waited for deliverance.
    Dusty grew the chants.
  23. other people’s business
    She would fret about
    the world and its numerous
    imperfect people.
  24. water wonderland
    Rains pelted with no
    place to go, bringing stinging
    icy bullet wounds.
  25. a test of the uncharted
    No map, no compass,
    just a nagging sense of one
    direction and goal.
  26. split the check
    Who had what? And why
    am I paying for someone
    else’s martini?
  27. in theory
    The brain trust adjourned,
    having come up with brilliant
    plans no one would do.
  28. zamboni patrol
    The rinks prepare for
    the whoosh of enforcers and
    flying pucks and blood.
  29. iced iced tea
    The glass cracks, as the
    sugar recrystallizes
    in freezing weather.
  30. listening politely
    He listened with both
    ears, waited for a pause to
    ask, “What do you think?”
  31. not-so-sudden fatigue syndrome
    No alarm. Wake up.
    Fall asleep. No alarm. Wake
    up. Repeat till worn.
  32. on a cold street corner downtown
    They came to explore
    a rough and unseemly place
    known as Birmingham.
  33. impatience
    A loud sigh escapes
    as the world passes by. We’re
    stuck here forever.
  34. keeping watch in the lobby
    The bar dark, the road
    warriors made do with wi-fi
    and dingy tables.
  35. graphic outings
    The Batman struck fear
    in the hearts of Gotham’s crooks
    while trapped in boxes.
  36. the long lean line
    The slouch, while somewhat
    comfortable, gave way to the
    grace of high shoulders.
  37. the passion of pursuit
    He wobbled along
    the craggy terrain, sensing
    his love was not far.
  38. to the loudest and the maddest
    Some are born to great-
    ness. Others are just complete
    unrepentant assholes.
  39. tummy rumblings
    The unfed organ
    made its demands known loudly.
    The mouth chewed on it.
  40. jukebox zero
    The hits did not keep
    on coming. Instead, a long
    run of ska and house.
  41. another grand opening
    The ribbon held back
    the curious throng that had
    seen copies before.
  42. a natural forecaster
    With a flourish, the
    esteemed groundhog rose to the
    surface. All hushed.
  43. recovery
    The ugly spot where
    mole cancer lived oozes on.
    Either way, healing.
  44. shortcuts to the universe
    A keystroke here, a
    recipe hint there, it all
    adds up to big time.
  45. the chill of solitude
    The dim lights hid the
    gnawing and palpitations
    from other lone drunks.
  46. to the birthday girl
    She will always be
    the smiling wonder, strong and
    fearless and loving.
  47. a bowl of noodles
    The painted bowl sloshed
    with hot broth and a tangled
    mess of stringy wheat.
  48. nothing to critique
    Wisdom and bruises
    had given him the peace to
    ignore common flaws.
  49. from inside the atom
    Neutrons and protons
    eye flighty electrons with
    caution and wonder.
  50. a hundred years ago
    Freedoms trampled, no
    equality, lawlessness,
    xenophobia.
  51. hamper of dreams
    The dirty clothes would
    occasionally rustle
    ever so slightly.
  52. a soul in search of stimuli
    Holes to be filled with
    soaring and sobering scads
    of fresh ideas.
  53. drunk cupid
    For fun, god of love
    makes up mismatches from hell
    for his amusement.
  54. a many splendored thing
    When you find it, don’t
    ignore it. Nurture it, and
    let it shine from you.
  55. horror at sea
    The shrimp cocktail was
    somewhat small. The towels were
    passably fluffy.
  56. showdown in the lunchroom
    The warriors wolfed down
    trays of soft tacos, not for
    nourishment but sport.
  57. the green wall
    A certain calmness
    radiated from the leaves
    breathing in silence.
  58. keep on leading in the free world
    Millard, Zachary,
    Rutherford, Chester, Grover,
    this day’s for them, too.
  59. speaking in many tongues
    Before Babel, we
    spoke as one, with a certain
    je ne sais quoi. Merde.
  60. in the beginning
    Two kids walked through a
    quiet garden. One hungered.
    Then both were banished.
  61. two of every non-fish
    Noah brought the beasts
    and birds aboard, worrying
    not about sea life.
  62. brotherly hate
    Brothers of the good
    book often embody less-
    than-holy kinship.
  63. to have and have lot
    The meaning of Lot
    has been lost among lurid
    escapades and wine.
  64. centuries of lifetimes
    The denizens of
    Genesis endure hundreds
    of years of boot-up.
  65. on the whole, an average 14 years
    Seven years of feast
    and seven years of famine.
    Early climate change?
  66. on a damp winter’s night
    Jacket stained with rain,
    he darted through shadowy
    alleys bound for home.
  67. ode to the block captain
    From behind the blinds,
    every jogger looks mean and
    each dog a mongrel.
  68. not written in history
    What happened is weird
    mix of what’s written and what’s
    forgotten in time.
  69. the planting
    The earth thaws, cracks, laid
    open for worms and grains of
    plants. Harvest someday.
  70. flakes of hope
    Little faces stared
    at the darkness hoping to
    be blinded by white.
  71. we know what we know
    We know what we know,
    no more, no less. Open eyes
    to know more, no less.
  72. winged features
    If everyone could
    fly, we would chat and floss at
    30,000 feet.
  73. the vestigial bookmark
    Ebooks hide out of
    eyesight. Too much to read, yet
    no stacks to cherish.
  74. late at the schoolhouse
    The hallways echo
    long after last bell with the
    footfalls of stragglers.
  75. the post-modern calendar
    There’s a day for love
    and grandparents and groundhogs,
    but not for daring.
  76. the conclave of literary crafters
    They all kept journals
    of their deepest secrets while
    waiting for big breaks.
  77. always an outsider
    The in crowd wasn’t
    seeking members, nor was it
    trying to shun them.
  78. dizzy from the whirl
    Peering from the roof
    ledge, woozy from the great height,
    unable to move.
  79. basic etiquette for telepathy
    We are not meant for
    reading minds. We barely grasp
    our own twisted thoughts.
  80. buzzing in the brain
    A dull tickle grows
    into unmanageable
    migraine misery.
  81. a moment of darkness
    What happened to the
    lights? Murmuring, nervous laughs.
    Sudden brightness stuns.
  82. joy in a tin pan
    Apple, cherry, Key
    lime, chocolate, pecan, chess,
    lemon icebox, peach.
  83. portent of gloom
    Beware the random
    day, said the soothsayer. At
    dusk, our hopes faded.
  84. orange barrel army
    Miles of soldiers lined
    the highway, praying no crash
    would send them flying.
  85. a giant among fairies
    Mischief maker, clad
    in red or green, uses pot
    of gold to redeem.
  86. pitched perfect
    How about a night
    of surprises and romance,
    guffaws and glances?
  87. if we are to believe the poets
    We are haunted by
    memory, pursuing a
    fantasy, lost, found.
  88. a knight in knoxville
    The gallant soldier
    tied up his horse on a bike
    rack and gripped his sword.
  89. eternal renewal
    Spring returns with hope
    and vigor, perking up the
    land for old time’s sake.
  90. seas, the moment
    Two nerds passing in
    the night, unaware of their
    mutual ripples.
  91. jam equals death
    The superhighway
    of corpuscles zooms along,
    only stopping once.
  92. the nonnomad
    She should go on a
    walkabout, if only to
    cherish what was left.
  93. everyone out of the betting pool
    The sharks were harpooned
    by bad tips, sentimental
    picks, last-second shots.
  94. slow burn
    Longer days enflame
    a furious desire
    that scorches our hearts.
  95. leaves drenched in history
    The torrent of rain
    brings a flood of memories
    to an arid soul.
  96. an incomplete tango
    They worked out the steps
    in their mind, contentedly
    swaying in one place.
  97. retina display
    Her bright blue eyes lit
    up the windowless room of
    his forgotten soul.
  98. black thunder
    Trees braced themselves and
    the sidewalks shattered as El
    Camino roared in.
  99. a mother’s fury
    Hail, sleet, thunder, wind,
    tornadoes, downpours, lightning.
    Alabama spring.
  100. hilarity ensues
    Seemingly real but
    comic premise turns into
    forgotten lame bit.
  101. urban safari
    Wild geese cross the lot.
    Dogs on leashes sniff for foes.
    Koi lurk in dark ponds.

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