Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 30
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- when insurance and e-commerce collide
The waiting rooms were
empty. A nation was stuck
on the health care site. - caped valets
In a world filled with
superheroes, no one will
snag coffee for me. - mean lean halloween machines
Getting ready for
the big night, spooks and spirits
practice cleansing screams. - the old guard and the new
Traditionalists
and trendsetters vied for sole
control of the world. - sotto voce
“But she’s still ugly.”
“I took the money and ran.”
“Worthless crazy fool.” - the cook at his station each morning
The kitchen would come
alive with classic ’90s
hits and pan-fried eggs. - path of least ridiculousness
Frustration melted
away as he breathed in and
took a step forward. - the triumphant return of the not missing
The wanderer came
back to recount her travels
but misplaced her friends. - for the in-season phantasm
Why should ghosts follow
a calendar when they can
spook a bit each night? - game of threads
Do you dress up as
your hero or your dark side?
Do clothes make the man? - unburied treasures
An inventory
of his soul yielded all sorts
of hidden talents. - shores of autumn
The earth swayed and sloshed
the waters. A turtle left
the sands forever. - the exit that is not an exit
Do not tap on the
still windows of the sleeping,
snoring motorists. - dance of the polka dot sisters
They smile and spin on
the sand, letting the rhythm
unleash their spirit. - post-modern tones
The phone would scream, burp,
quack, sneeze, ping, whoosh, beep, laugh and
clink, but never ring. - the early risers
The sunrise emits
a subtle psalm bringing all
a gracious howdy. - will flip for cash
A splash of paint, a
scented candle, a new rug,
it smells like money. - the sport of knaves
Such combat that robs
men of their faculties, their
dignity, their souls. - laziest verse ever
Cliches are the new
black. Avoid like the plague! The
rest is history. - jailbird breakout
Their death sentences
were nigh. They had to flee. The
turkeys would escape. - veterans’ days
After the parade,
they still need jobs, medical
services, housing. - the arctic plunge
Before the turkeys
could hide, before the chestnuts
could roast, Jack Frost struck. - orphaned peppers
Frost slapped the vines hard
scarring leaves and breaking stems
without witnesses. - cravings
Temptation left his
mind, only to sneak back in
through seductive dreams. - a past that never dies
What nostalgia pins
us to moments when we miss
those for our future? - the littlest hero
It’s not the villains
he caught or the deeds he dared
but the light he shined. - how to learn to save a life
Rows of poor plastic
patients lie with no pulse, no
breath, waiting for aid. - new to the forest
The campers lugged in
giant tents and fancy boots
and vintage canteens. - fester like a sore, and then run
I look at Langston’s
works and witness the struggle
before all of us. - a slow, leisurely lunch
Put the watch away
when we talk business and kids
and all our futures. - the word of 2013
A pic of you shot
by you is a selfie, once
called narcissism. - signs from across
Her hands told a tale
of a love lost and a deep
bitterness that lasts. - the day of the doctor
Running, not from, but
to danger and adventure
and the universe. - dead at 49
He stopped to wish his
Facebook friend a good birthday
but it was too late. - modern urban archeology
Floor after floor of
dust greeted the explorers
deep in the ruins. - stir fry recipe
Chop. Chop chop chop chop
chop chop. Heat wok, add oil.
Cook everything quick. - paw prints in the mud
Cats, dogs, squirrels traipse through
the yard with impunity.
Beasts without borders. - a thanksgiving prayer
May stuffing vs.
dressing be the most heated
argument today. - the fine art of crust
One layer gets the
job done, but two layers are
flaky perfection. - clash of the tigers and elephants
Their mighty forces
walloped one another till
blood and tears remained. - the earliest shoppers
Their lists are all crossed
off, with piles of presents wrapped
and bowed for giving. - dance of the sugar-free plum fairy
The nutcracker was
banished due to allergies
from pecans by kids. - mining sweethearts
He spent his hours
window shopping for a mate,
wary of defects. - last laugh
The comedian
found his audience in a
mob of drunk hecklers. - united party front
The couple huddled
behind the cocktail table
gnawing at hors d’oeuvres. - austrian help wanted
Large harmonizing
family seeks nanny nun
with mad sewing skills. - elfie selfie
Santa’s minion left
a digital trail of pics
flashing his North Pole. - the wish
Years later, she would
not remember that it all
went wrong with a wish. - a missing lottery ticket
It flew out the car
window somewhere between West
Memphis and Vega. - ghost of christmas alternate universe
Ebenezer gawked
at the spectral visitor’s
gluten-free fruitcake. - hoarse
Politely shouting
his intentions made little
difference to his friends. - terrible with names
Everyone was named
“Champ” as far as he knew or
cared. Hey, Champ, what’s new? - rotten luck
A black cat ran past
broken mirror shards in front
of 13 ladders. - biking through the villages
He rode from town to
town with a penchant for good
stories, good people. - the right amount of suck, cinema edition
A screenplay needs time
to work in the kinks and find
its awkward, dull voice. - a special kind of stupid
They will argue, whine,
insult, yell, huff, puff and sulk,
but never be right. - the lost art of smartassery
All the charm of a
third grader shines through with a
dull wit and tired line. - fireball alarm
They awoke in the
dark to find a home without
walls, souls without limbs. - the early riser
The early riser
needed no clanging alarm
to greet the pale dawn. - in search of spotlights
Some can’t live without
attention. The worst deny
their narcissism. - a winter’s hike
The children ran far
ahead, despite the brisk air.
The trail pulled them in. - ruckus two doors down
Thumping bass keeps the
dog up, the baby crying
and us complaining. - shorts at christmastime
What wretched deal did
we strike with Mother Nature
for winter heat wave? - silent not
The carolers made
a noise that charitably
could be called “joyous.” - holly and jolly
Shreds of gift wrapping
flew everywhere in a blur
of children and toys. - inside for a spot of warmth
The bedraggled gent
huddled quietly on a
hard chair for the night. - neat freak
Bills unpaid. Laundry
piling up. Children without shots.
But the house was clean. - king of the cargo container
The tiny house had
a tiny kitchen and a
tiny bed crammed in. - quadruple agent
She worked for neither
country nor agency, nor
even principle. - so 2013
While Instagramming
a selfie, he sent bitcoins
to binge-watch twerking. - promise to a future wife
I will pretend to
like your cat, even as he
stabs my crotch with claws. - a day that marks a month and a year
To some, another
day. To the rest, a chance at
love joy peace friends grace. - no time for reflection
The weary laundress
stacked shirts neatly, not letting
her eyes drift away. - frosty french toast
Extreme cold can be
crippling for Southerners caught
without bread and milk. - the oompa loompas are on food stamps
Charlie shut down the
chocolate factory and moved
it to Mexico. - sportsmanship 2014
Taunting, shooting birds,
killing trees, kicking, punching,
all on video. - winter weather watch
They pressed their little
noses against the icy
panes seeking snowflakes. - after the crowds left
The players took one
last look at the field and dwelled
on what could have been. - the last drop
Inspiration can
be found at the bottom of
a potent beverage. - someone else’s problem
An astute few saw
the bigger issues. And none
lifted a finger. - symptoms include listlessness, runny pancreas
He diagnosed his
malady as either a
mild cold or malaise. - the run-down chapel
A few old timers
creeped along dusty pews as
the service began. - the last noel, five points south
The plastic garlands
fluttered carelessly in the
January wind. - skydiving social worker seeks fly fishing accountant
The personals seem
like a competition in
duck faces and wants. - one week in january, winter in the south
Wet, cold, ice, windy,
warm, cloudy, chilly, fog, rain,
snow, slick, sun, clear, sigh. - two dollars and no place to go
The drifter pulled his
rolling bag beside him, safe
and dry for the day. - this postmodern world
The boogeyman does
not hide nor shock, but merely
points out our failings. - brief getaway
He stared at the glass
of pale bourbon, unable
to shove it aside. - the splat comes at the end
He played by the rules
and took care of others, then
was hit by a truck. - diy sonnet kit
Tell her she’s special.
Tell her she’s totally hot.
Tell her she’s the one. - triumph of the passable
The city’s collapse
came not from corruption but
mediocrity. - looking back, looking forward, looking around
Is life a bucket
list, a cabaret or a
tombstone’s etched hyphen? - the heavens in winter
Frozen noses point
to Orion, frozen toes
planted on hard earth. - the ire next time
He steadied himself
not for the audience’s
scorn, but for his own. - death by pleasantries
Throngs of people close
in and swallow me, drowning
my soul in chit chat. - spiritual harvest
The community
garden nourished bodies and
planted seeds in souls. - crust to crust
The baker puzzled
over the finishing edge
for his latest pie. - rancor in the rockies
Hollywood types and
trust fund kids vs. people
trying to get by. - the rainbow zoo cafe, snow day hours
With school closed, she made
snow creams, enough for seven
skinny harbor seals. - world’s slowest speedway
Motorists leave a
freeway’s worth of cars to the
gray merciless snow. - snow day makeup slumber party
Kids sleep on gym floors
and in classrooms, waiting for
the road home to thaw.
• • •
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