Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 39
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- the paradox of southern hospitality
Carpetbagger scribes
and activists come down to
save us from ourselves. - trolls nameless and otherwise
Anonymity
is not the source of hatred.
A fetid heart is. - basic dreams of sweets and breads
I think ahead to
cheat day, but also cheat days
past and their menus. - a creed for us
We let go, we move
on. We dream big, we fall hard.
We hope and we help. - earth day eve
A pine tree decked with
pine cones and live squirrels to mark
the birth of our world. - i would die for you
I’m not your lover,
not your friend, I’m something you’ll
never comprehend. - a shared culture
Our scarce reactions
as a society hide
themselves as mourning. - the afternoon cookout
All we can ask for
is a little shared time with
friends and family. - the modern diet
Food products that can
be consumed in the car or
at a desk by hand. - the furtive chunks of progress
Speaking up is a
bold act. As is letting your
guard down, and smiling. - april 27, 2011
Hell on Earth comes as
a barrage of furious
tornados and storms. - ice cream for breakfast
Cool morning treat, plus
an opportunity for
bacon as dessert. - a fading star
He saw beloved
faces at every turn, yet
could not name a one. - the haunted house on perry street
No one fondled the
randy geezer stuck in the
governor’s mansion. - julian’s katrina
Like Dubya, he flew
high above the ruins of
his land without care. - committed adultery in his heart many times
What does it take to
drive off a wife of 50
years? Look out with lust. - love to feel them titles
Tuscaloosa, tops
in gymnastics, football and
cheating governors. - the ballad of han solo
A divorced war vet
with a no-good brat, junked ship
and restless Wookiee. - follow the instructions
Deviating from
the rules is not allowed. Why
not stick to the norm? - dear fellow moviegoer
Turning on your phone
during the film gives me a
bad retinal burn. - let the grownups talk
Adulting isn’t
just a stupid word but a
stupid concept, too. - garage sale badge
Test of salesmanship:
Unloading a futon for
almost the same price. - the letters unsent
Unwritten words stay
off reams of stationery,
frozen and silent. - dance like several people are watching
Staying on your toes,
regulating your rhythm,
keeping up your smile. - kneel before sod
Grassy transplants hid
the scalp of the ya waiting
for rain and chipmunks. - the forever echo
Reaching out, he would
pick up on a faint pulse, then
lose it in the hush. - familiar steps into the unknown
Take my hand and don’t
let go. Close your eyes, follow
your heart and breathe deep. - tactile beings
A reality
composed of stamps, bullfrogs, milk,
paper and kisses. - life in the 21st century
A combination
of notifications, memes
and medications. - bob’s -30-
A great reporter
but also a great human
all in one body. - keep birmingham weird
Renegade skaters
hunt artisanal popsicles
and hoppy craft beers. - with lyrics by the cakehole
The best songs come from
the diaphragm with support
from the trachea. - best behavior
An illusion of
camaraderie with a
hint of courtesy. - up with down-ballot
Who’s president does
matter, but who occupies
lower posts counts more. - white sauce is the devil
Chicken, grilled or smoked,
deserves a tangy red coat.
White is for the birds. - the birmingham style of pit barbecue
Vinegar with a
hint of sweet, over pulled pork
and sometimes chicken. - know your fixins
Corn muffins is a
side. Mac and cheese is a veg-
gie. Pie is a side. - not on my paper plate
A dry rub is not
for me. Nor is mustard sauce
or straight smokiness. - butts on the night shift
The pitmaster woke
several times to check the heat
and meat before dawn. - next to the cartoon pig
Look for a shack in
the woods with a smiling cook
and surly waitress. - the backyard crew
Cheers to the weekend
grillers and their smokers and
charcoal and slow heat. - the modern litmus test
Decoding a friend’s
serial vaguebooking by
one and all watching. - the doctor will misdiagnose you now
You’re either three months
pregnant or suffering from
a case of scurvy. - the battle done
Lay down your arms and
re weary soldier. The war
rages on and on. - on top of everything else
The stout newcomer
irked the nudist colonists
with his rakish hat. - overthinking and underrating
The Yelp rating is
two stars but the line is all
the way down the block. - the modern seamstress
Hands full with thread and
needle, stitching up a storm
while rocking the tats. - while birmingham rots
The crooked don’t see
themselves as crooked, but as
some goddamned saviors. - prick us, do we not bloviate?
Crowdsourcing your woes
leads to one truth needle in
a pompous haystack. - the sidewalk fit for domesticated hikers
The urban trail ends
at the corner of Starbucks
and homeless beggars. - kitchen magic
A sprinkle of this,
a heap of that and a knack
for subtle flavors. - a talent for escape
They left to seek their
fortunes elsewhere, weary of
broken promises. - what pugs find hilarious
Barking dogs laugh at
me while I pull weeds and tend
the overgrown yard. - 500 yards shy
Computer map, why
didn’t you warn us about
the fault in our way? - a streak of lazy
Wash the car, clean the
house, darn the socks, feed the dog.
Or take a long nap. - ethics is a four-letter word
Speaker of the house
goes to the big house after
house of cards crumbles. - do what you hate
A prescription for
a long, dull life, but one that
avoids temptations. - trouble brewing
We live in a place
of guns and hatred. We are
addicted to both. - the 26th mile
Her lungs burned with each
labored step, her legs struggling
with locomotion. - missing in transit
Grandma’s care package
made it through Midwest to some
lucky bastard’s house. - ghoul’s fold
The paper caved in
on itself to reveal a
hideous duckling. - journey of the crafted crane
Is the art in the
folding, or in transforming
trees into paper? - crease and desist
The artist bends the
sheet to his will, a surface
becomes a sculpture. - patterns of misbehavior
The crime of being
mediocre is: It’s how
it’s always been done. - a conversation about mores
Do it this way and
remain unharmed. Do it that
way and pay the price. - the ballad of mike hubbard
The most powerful
hillbilly in hillbilly
land pled for big bucks. - the carefree days of summer
Arts camp plus gluten-
free snacks with cram sessions and
optional screen time. - to reach the unreachable fan
To tweet the impos-
sible update. To troll the
untrollable troll. - terms and conditions
Spelling it out makes
little difference if you
are averse to words. - there goes the continent
A revolt among
the masses reminds all who
rules Britannia. - so are the days of our lives
Solar, lunar, fis-
cal, broadca Julian, He-
brew, Gregorian … - hungry for perspectives
Right or wrong, old or
young, traditional or mod,
let’s take it all in. - instead of mockery, try
Applause for those who
make the effort, who try new
things, who grow and grow. - on hold for 20 minutes
Compromise is the
bargain we make with ourselves
while raging inside. - and also the humidity
There’s hot, and then there’s
Alabama hot. Let’s fly
to the sun and chill. - warm up the grill
The burgers go here,
the steaks there, with room for hot
dogs, pork and chicken. - hints of gunpowder and awe
Double-wide trailer,
a firecracker heaven
along the highway. - the king of boors
America is
more than just a crummy beer
named America. - be a firework
Hail independence
by showing up for duty
on Nov. 8. - a battle of wits
Can’t win with trolling,
snark, sarcasm or logic.
Win with pure laughter. - humans of birmingham
The photographer
takes a blurry shot of grads
before fleeing town. - the second-best medicine
For all-around aches
and injuries, probably
some penicillin. - and now i can’t breathe
Someone told me she’s
OK with cops murdering
500 people. - when you’re ready to give up
Everything’s pointless
nothing really matters and
oh look, a puppy! - the big day under the knife
Her birthday suit is
a hospital gown, and her
cake is Jell-O cups. - reboot or sleep
No matter how hot
the shower or the coffee,
the mind won’t stay woke. - triangle park
A green wedge houses
both the spiral slide and the
rectangular bench. - lost and untethered
Do we shout even
louder or march in protest?
What’s a soul to do? - the perfect counterfeit
Alike in every
way, down to the annoying
smudge and ghastly flaws. - the unreceding recession
So many workers
wanted jobs that they’d jump at
any opening. - the feckless coup
Soldiers strike to take
a government away from
their society. - competitive spirit
What binds the workers
together, hatred of the
rivals or the boss? - sizzling jam
For rhythm, for rock,
for fellowship, for beer, for
fun and for summer. - the broken library
Rainwater drips on
defenseless books, stairwells as
the sole escape routes. - the open is mightier than the sword
To ward off a fierce
storm with nothing more than a
sturdy umbrella. - the turtle hunt
A parade of shells
ambles ever so slowly
down the beach at dusk. - blockhead syndrome
It’s the jerks that need
the most help and hardest to
rehabilitate. - the truest believer
Always fell in line.
Always believed his bosses.
Always came in last. - the squeeze machine
A full-body hug
without the intricacies
of human contact. - the quest for positive
He saw the world as
broken and aimed to heal it
with positive acts. - a sprinkle on top
Each dollop of fresh
batter received a sprinkle
of sugar for fun.
• • •
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