Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 40
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- an addiction to spines
What fresh novella
or biography awaits
a hearty reading? - bid romance
O my Luve is like
a red, red state that’s barely
solvent in July. - your shows of shows
Old American
proverb: May you live in peak
television times. - a pillar of man
He alone took on
responsibility of
fulfillment and self. - the greatness of america
The greatness of our
country can be found in such
grand diversity. - crack the books
The nightmare is the
same: Get to class on time and
prepare for lecture. - the shakespeare of u up
I want to include
a lot of smart-sounding words
into my texting. - pitched, but with 3d
A band of misfits
finds nothing in common and
goes its separate ways. - floss leader
Take better care of
your teeth by running a string
between them daily. - sermon on the dismount
These are my beliefs,
he thus declared to no one
in particular. - a parade of nations
The world is both im-
possibly gigantic and
charmingly cozy. - the year without a garden
He harvested crops
from the frozen food aisle at
the supermarket. - the ultimate olympic sport
Competitors used
to winning learn anew: to
take defeat in stride. - the home team
Proud parents shout with
joy as athletic offspring
take the podium. - my never-ending stories
I’m here to watch peak
TV and kick ass, and I
can’t ever tune out. - four-drone garage
One to check on the
kids, one for weekends, one for
off-road, one for spite. - tabby taste tester
A paw drops into
the glass for a quick sip of
the drink he’s having. - 200m sharks
Swimmers churn the tank
with sturdy strokes, a violent
contest back and forth. - explosions from the sky
The fury above
comes with a sudden onset
of black sky and gusts. - chew on that
Wasn’t the future
of food supposed to be all
things in gummy form? - the escape
All week, they had dreamt
of driving fast and far from
the chains of despair. - 21st-century foxes
The true tastemakers
and who’s who appear only
on Warhol’s Snapchat. - it came from over the mountain
The creature from the
monochromatic suburb
oozes privilege. - wedding on football saturday
The bride wore her mom’s
sleek dress. The groom wore earbuds
and a haunted look. - explain yourself in 17 syllables
Studious ball of
sarcasm bundled with wit
in a slim package. - triple threat
I like triathlon’s
efficiency: I can suck
in three sports at once. - trust no one
Bury your feelings
and plow on with no regard
for consequences. - back to school for parents
Moms and dads smiled wide
as they shipped their hellions
to the mental mines. - back to school for teachers
World’s Greatest Teacher
mug filled with coffee and a
shot of cheap whiskey. - back to school for kids
The pain of sitting
in class after class with just
Snapchat and texting. - what is a haiku?
A momentary
look into the eternal
and the familiar. - to-don’t list
A bucket list, but
for dolts to avoid and chores
to put off each time. - aural assault
Nonstop hits with a
little patter, plus speaker
phones and videos. - baking challenge
An even surface
that rises and stays risen
with a golden hue. - operator in distress
Every office chair
has a lever that does the
opposite of aim. - ice cream over jogging
The best feeling in
life is procrastination.
The worst? Comeuppance. - what’s blue and green and in the red?
It takes 1.6
Earths to supply our needs for
1 Earth year. Doomed days. - the fading of the crickets
The chirping at dusk
becomes the prelude to a
cool breeze sonata. - greetings from the insect world
Though minuscule, the
sting from a lone wasp carries
a feisty message. - uniform of the modern man
A beard and a man
bun, and maybe a need to
radiate hipness. - working for a living
An abundance of
productivity but an
absence of raises. - in trek we trust
Bones, Kirk and Spock, the
23rd century’s most
holy trinity. - generation next
A French captain sails
the galactic waves with both
Klingon and android. - golden trekiversary
Its 50-year mis-
sion: To boldly go where no
one has gone before. - the pair of docks at terok nor
The darkest series
offered the brightest stories
set in deep space? Fine. - janeway to the danger zone
The homing pigeon
takes a long detour through the
vast Delta Quadrant. - the journey of a thousand light years
A quantum leap back
to the Federation’s past,
Enterprise’s launch. - trek’s next fifty
Rebooted movies
and a new prequel TV
series, and us fans. - a nation of addicts and users
Legalized pot keeps
some mellow. Forbidden smack
keeps many captive. - the lobbyist
On behalf of the
tyke faction, she demands hugs
and later bedtimes. - the artificial tooth
Natural? Passé.
They now come in gold, silver,
ceramic and blue. - patterns
Creatures of habit
rarely stray from the path that
gives comfort and fare. - tanks a lot
Southern wilderness
doused with unleaded poison.
Man 1, nature zip. - tube tops
An atom beheld
by an angelic muse to
celebrate TV. - sandy claws
Red-shelled beast sashays
on scorching gold dunes, always
ready in a pinch. - man upping
I like to manspread
while mansplaining for maxi-
mum manfficiency. - the truth about time travel
Probably not to
go back and kill dictators
but to pick up chicks. - notes of discontent
The anthem moves us
to hands on hearts and knees on
ground. Long live freedom. - also, more testing
Let’s fix broken schools
by setting kids on fire
and buying iPads. - the new autumn
Pumpkin spice smoothies,
90-degree hayrides and
Thanksgiving heat stroke. - renovation pains
Rehabbing a room
is more than burning cash. It’s
smashing your thumb, too. - death takes a working holiday
The big names got called
to heaven in droves, a true
cultural affair. - immune to suffering
The bus rider next
to me is in her private
hell. I turn the page. - legalization aftermath
More addicts or less,
more pain or less, more wrecks or
less, more cons or less? - the city too busy to love
New faces take on
the old roles of corruption,
greed, mismanagement. - self-driving deloreans
No child of mine is
ever getting a license
or taking the wheel. - binge listening
Taking in the whole
Beatles discography play-
ing all 12 at once. - this is fine
I’m OK with the
events that are unfolding
currently. takes sip - fall in a blink
Still hot. Still very
hot. When will it stop? Just cool
enough. Nope, too cold. - the wake-up call
The ringing left him
with the vaguest sense of not
belonging at all. - according to schedule
I have a Nobel
Prize in Skyrim, two hot wives
and a bitchin’ Dodge. - game of phones
They hunted a pack
of virtual monsters with
nothing more than apps. - driven to distraction
The muse couldn’t be
heard over the constant din
of beeps and ringtones. - all the news that’s fit to like
Shady sources give
titillating details to
close-minded readers. - guys’ guys
Jocks brag on conquests
while snapping towels, and the
locker room cringes. - polling place banter
And when you’re a vot-
er, you can grab them by the
box. The ballot box. - fear of a double x planet
Beneath the quiet
strength of the fairer sex lies
screaming agony. - minus one
The most fun that an
introvert can have is not
showing up ever. - a man’s reach shouldn’t exceed his grope
Never have such ti-
ny hands caused so much deep e-
motional damage. - the sordid truth about haiku
They often forget
nature. They’re spawned by brains that
fly unsupervised. - fan cam
Some nervously peer
at the outfield, some scroll through
phones for score updates. - the others
Those not on our side
must be demonized for the
sake of the children. - onscreen personas
More Facebookers hit
Live on their phones to show who
they really are not. - meditation on the train ride home
Breathe in the stench of
stale coffee and fatigue. Breathe
out the hopelessness. - 300 seconds in space
Lungs wrap themselves round
cream puffs of gas. Blood oozes
through long corridors. - genie in a bit
Off to make dinner
reservations or hail an
Uber with a swipe. - no costume needed
Why hunt for candy
when the Easter Bunny and
Santa deliver? - fear factor
Everyday horrors
overshadow the monsters
just under the bed. - ultimate indicator
we chat w quik txts
and emoji b4 the
battery hits 0 - children of the candy corn
Technically escapes
the trick clause and punishes
youngsters with foul treats. - double playwright
Even Shakespeare needs
a reliever when the acts
are loaded, pen balks. - basic necessities
A passing grade was
all that was needed, and still
the grown pupil failed. - parched country
No rain for weeks, no
relief from heat, the bounty
of fall has shriveled. - golden rule of business
You either set some-
one up to succeed, or you
set them up to fail. - tonight or Monday
Orthodox vs.
reform Halloween converts
ponder date for treats. - perpetual standstill
We always have the
time to fall behind more and
more. Takes no effort. - the true meaning of halloween
A holiday that
teaches us to be fearful
only of figments. - peak election
A raft of shocking
revelations as voters
tune out and stay home. - gluten-free fortunes
You will live a long
and healthy life with little
flavor and no spice. - quenched
Cubbies dancing in
victory after long drought.
Maybe next year, Tribe. - the monster at the end of this stanza
Despite all warnings,
we want to see the grotesque
beast. And it is us.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101.
Read more haiku.
Subscribe via RSS to Wade’s Daily Haiku. Or have it delivered daily by e-mail.
[Share on Twitter]
Sunday, November 6, 2016, 12:05 am
[…] Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 40 […]