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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 25

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

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  1. the stinging storm
    Sun turns to darkness
    turns to rain turns to hail on
    a June afternoon.
  2. the littlest wish
    She beheld the cake
    and presents and besties and
    wished with eyes shut tight.
  3. first day of summer school
    Her backpack has a
    stowaway hitchhiker who
    wants to sleep in class.
  4. idiocracy by the numbers
    What’s scarier? One
    lone idiot or a mob
    of crazed idiots?
  5. a weed in the kitchen
    A tomato waits
    to be born in a cramped pot
    on a dark counter.
  6. new south blues
    Where once was farmland
    and forests now stands Starbucks
    and Piggly Wiggly.
  7. ode to a fallen truck
    The monster plowed through
    many a dirt road and mall
    lot on big tankfuls.
  8. lenses
    We look at the world
    through warped lenses, eyeing each
    other with concern.
  9. to the guillotine
    They marched to their doom,
    not for crimes committed, but
    for years of service.
  10. the fraternity of the notebook and pen
    They would never be
    strangers. Each member knows their
    kin from all newsrooms.
  11. sustainable food 2012
    People, people who
    eat people are the super
    hungriest people …
  12. walking invalid
    Her brain demanded
    she be happy and sane and
    miserable, too.
  13. the hum of comfort
    As long as the fan,
    fridge, TV and computer
    work, summer’s a blast.
  14. american nightmare
    New dream: Can we stop
    working one day? Newer: Will
    we have enough work?
  15. ode to a catfish
    Dark orphan purrs his
    way into a regal life
    in hilltop castle.
  16. dream car
    Runs on moxie, parks
    anywhere, top comes down, big
    cup holder, blasts tunes.
  17. summer at last
    The walk from parking
    lot to doorway roasts bare flesh
    with intense UV.
  18. the limits of obsession
    Sifting through garbage,
    watching through binoculars,
    but no mornings, please.
  19. the blind recruiter
    The agency wants
    the right candidate, but no
    one too “elderly.”
  20. all the ghosts have moved on
    He looked back for friends
    from childhood, lost loves, schoolmates,
    but they were all dead.
  21. the torch approaches
    Along a quiet
    road in the English country,
    a flame heads homeward.
  22. baskets beyond
    Weaving the strips in
    deliberate sequence to
    make lovely patterns.
  23. problems, solutions and everything in-between
    Some educated
    guesses mixed with wild hunches
    to look somewhat smart.
  24. digital cave drawings
    Our hieroglyphics
    consist of pithy slogans
    on sunset photos.
  25. symphonic oddities
    If the platypus
    played an instrument in band,
    it would be trombone.
  26. vaudeville in the woods
    The young campers hop
    about backstage, waiting to
    dazzle their parents.
  27. the lost inbox
    Fate tosses select
    emails declaring love, hate
    aside for more spam.
  28. 100 degrees at the beach
    Let’s hide in the cool
    of the ocean, when the sand
    scorches our bare skin.
  29. a reviewer’s eye
    The ability
    to spot talent, flaws, passion,
    potential, mistakes.
  30. face race
    She wouldn’t dare step
    out without a dab of blush,
    lipstick and liner.
  31. keep america dutiful
    Picture a nation
    that crowds its polls and teaches
    its young as a norm.
  32. the trout was innocent
    The eager scamp dropped
    the fish on an untended
    foot. She yelped and fled.
  33. the fireworks continue
    Firecrackers bang
    through the night, lit by tempers
    on loosened triggers.
  34. becoming undone
    They shared space, yet kept
    their distance, unable to
    find the words to meet.
  35. after the service, before the church picnic
    Parson Wilkinson
    sped through a shorter prayer when
    he was too hungry.
  36. stomp the pool
    Little bathers romp
    in 3-inch water, splashing
    and laughing in waves.
  37. garden trespassers
    The fresh produce aisle
    attracted furry and winged
    shoplifters to feast.
  38. vacation from beeps
    “This cabin,” the dad
    declared, “is off limits to
    phones, gadgets and gear.”
  39. the fallow corporate farm
    In the dim and dust,
    rows of cubicles remain
    unmanned, untended.
  40. weather extreme
    Blistering heat wave
    interrupted by clanging
    thunder and harsh storms.
  41. modern meditation
    If peace and bliss can’t
    come through breathing and yoga,
    give me Valium, stat.
  42. making ends meet
    What bills get paid and
    don’t seems silly when children’s
    bellies rumble on.
  43. strange stirrings
    Once she got ahold
    of his heart, she made it dance
    and race at her will.
  44. visual communion
    They stared into each
    other’s eyes, comfortably
    alone from the world.
  45. songs among the nothings
    She spoke like a jazz
    sax solo. Her audience
    of one begged for more.
  46. all you need is
    Makes the world go ’round.
    Is a many splendored thing.
    Is blind. Conquers all.
  47. flawless perception
    They were never flaws
    to her, but more like worn-in
    quirks to be adored.
  48. sentiment immortal
    His love refused to
    lie dormant, creeping up through
    soul cracks to sunlight.
  49. more vulnerable than venerable
    True love scares me, but
    I have found it scarier
    to go without it.
  50. no more empathy
    The mob grew in size
    as disgruntled users called
    for firing squads.
  51. if not for the tall blades
    The sidewalk cracks were
    hidden behind the weeds and
    heaps of dry branches.
  52. business envy
    The drone longed for air.
    The field agent longed for rest.
    The jobless, for work.
  53. solar system refugee
    A steel probe hurtled
    toward deep space, guided by where
    it had once surveyed.
  54. a history once whispered
    The technicians put
    in a bare slab where once stood
    a bronze champion.
  55. darkness at the edges
    Gloom descends, not in
    a sudden wave, but as a
    creeping fog of dread.
  56. the bounty
    Her broad bonnet at
    the window meant a basket
    of unwanted squash.
  57. a drink of dust
    Rows of seeds crawl out
    of the baked earth to breathe their
    last before dying.
  58. the gymnast’s lament
    A slip becomes a
    deduction, and a small fall
    into a big plunge.
  59. the boldest steps
    The boldest steps are
    often the quietest ones,
    tiptoeing forward.
  60. track star
    Speakers bop, earbuds
    pop, an infectious rhythm
    comes with a tight riff.
  61. two feet high
    The champion stands
    above others, hand over
    heart, beaming proudly.
  62. whispers
    Once in a while, a
    few rumors slip past the wall
    of cynicism.
  63. tuning up by the stove
    One pot simmers, a
    pan warms up, the cutting board
    groans with chopped items.
  64. interplanetary roadtrip
    Curiosity
    brings us to Mars. Let’s drive to
    the new horizon.
  65. the universe makes no sense
    We unite to make
    great things, yet spar over slights
    real and imagined.
  66. a start and a finish line aren’t enough
    No more plain races.
    Add hurdles, pace car, pursuit,
    targets and synchro.
  67. the dozer
    The salesman pitched his
    wares to the audience, save
    for one sleeping gent.
  68. shopper’s lament
    Cashier wasted time
    ringing up coupons, time she
    could have been clipping.
  69. ask not for whom the school bell tolls
    They played in the yard
    somberly. Soon, the school year
    would claim their free time.
  70. the modern crusades
    They shopped and shunned as
    a congregation, secure
    in their holy cause.
  71. a bit overloaded
    The ones struggled down
    the circuit, the zeroes kept
    still. Micro meltdown.
  72. man’s best fiend
    The schnauzer snuck out
    to dance in the rain, leaving
    mud tracks back inside.
  73. force of habitual reading
    About 12 pages
    into the mystery, he
    took a sip of tea.
  74. sponsor saturation
    After the ad came
    a promotion, then a paid
    message and come-on.
  75. though the squirrels had it first
    The bulldozers left
    in their wake a picturesque
    park where kids could romp.
  76. missteps among the suvs
    The marching band sweats
    and struts in the parking lot
    as the field is mowed.
  77. pumped
    The bodybuilder
    in the mirror had once been
    a shadow of doubt.
  78. all eyes front
    A gaggle of new
    faces stared from rows of desks
    at the scared teacher.
  79. the stork 2012
    Delivering tots
    requires tracking codes, thumb
    scans and good earplugs.
  80. deferred admissions
    Lead by example,
    a great ideal that falters
    among flawed rulers.
  81. tics
    Wash the hands, scrub the
    hands, flex the knee, check the phone,
    wash the hands, glance left …
  82. opera of the times
    The fat lady skips
    the aria to wheeze from
    poor health management.
  83. like a warm itchy blanket
    I wrap myself in
    hate and look upon the world
    with mistrustful eyes.
  84. trudging the campaign trail
    The candidate knocked,
    but the dweller had no clue
    it was time to vote.
  85. hurricane party
    The hardy few stayed
    behind to mix cocktails and
    serenade the wind.
  86. decision day
    Which candidate? Do
    I stay or flee? Ignore or
    take call? Nap or jog?
  87. it shouldn’t be this nice
    Hurricane nearby
    sometimes produces crazy
    beautiful weather.
  88. the homework begins
    Read two books, write three
    papers, dissect a worm, solve
    the worksheet. First week.
  89. yule celebrate now
    Now that back-to-school
    season is over, stores can
    focus on … Christmas.
  90. hidden flasks and other rituals
    The season ticket
    holder took a little nip
    in case his prayer failed.
  91. knock knock who’s there it’s leaves
    Along came fall to
    the party, early with a
    flashy ensemble.
  92. in honor of 70-hour work weeks
    Spend the holiday
    planning how to do the same
    work in fewer days.
  93. evolution of candidate support
    “Smith for Congress,” once
    a yard sign, now ironic
    temporary tat.
  94. the city on the edge of foreclosure
    Abandoned buildings
    along the one-way streets waved
    goodbye to locals.
  95. the trend is bucked
    Rather than follow
    the crowd, the freshman opened
    a book for pleasure.
  96. how to win at stomach punching
    Aim low. No, lower.
    Administer repeated
    blows. Always go first.
  97. at times, she misses him
    The empty spot on
    the couch, the missing footsteps
    behind her, the fuzz.
  98. twilight of the scarecrow
    The seeds have risen
    and left the site. The birds peck
    at harvested ground.
  99. the vikings of new
    Clad in costumes and
    wielding props, they conquer the
    stage and football field.
  100. an extra 12 years
    Had they survived, would
    they want to live where mistrust
    and madness flourish?
  101. a visit from the ghost of james buchanan
    “Be more playful,” he
    commanded to the snores of
    the slumbering dolt.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 24

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

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  1. post-production absurdities
    In writing the script
    and shooting the film, do they
    dream of awards shows?
  2. they’ll never flap in this town again
    Nominees’ tummies
    eat high-powered butterflies
    for nervous breakfast.
  3. a taste of glamour
    Let us peek in on
    our glitterati in their
    native habitat.
  4. collection obsession
    What we don’t have gives
    way to what we want to have
    until we’re buried.
  5. martini time
    Gin, and a hint of
    vermouth
    , with maybe olive.
    Drink liberally.
  6. surplus day
    This day can be the
    start of something new or the
    closing of doors past.
  7. the winter of shorts
    Spring may come in like
    heat wave, but who would notice?
    Global warming wins.
  8. the politics of bombardment
    The barrage of ads
    clogs the airwaves like mutant
    lint, blinding viewers.
  9. the neighbors are at it again
    The cops weren’t called as
    the couple’s disturbance was
    just angry texting.
  10. faded melodies
    If I squint my ears,
    they can detect a love song
    crooned so long ago.
  11. loss is loss
    She looked to the bed
    on the floor, empty, quiet,
    someone was missing.
  12. puppy couture
    No dog is complete
    without a hat or scarf and
    no more dignity.
  13. confessions in a closed office
    Perfectionism
    is killing me slowly. A
    mistake that endures.
  14. inspirations
    Beauty, melodies,
    a joke, solitude, childhood
    memory, deadlines.
  15. try, then give up
    If at first you don’t
    succeed, turn on the coffee
    pot and drink a cup.
  16. leaves of clover and shoes of horses
    Sometimes, the only
    luck you need hides inside the
    twinkle of an eye.
  17. ranch of the dust bunnies
    Uninhibited
    and roaming freely across
    the vast hardwood plains.
  18. five on five
    Dribble and pass, run
    and shoot. Block and pick. Never
    back down on the court.
  19. faster she breathes
    Their fingers touch, and
    her breath quickens. Can she hear
    his pulse racing, too?
  20. the squash adoption
    The motley squadron
    of harvested produce waits
    to fly to kitchens.
  21. egos with knives
    The chef bellowed at
    the dishwashers. The waiters
    scurried for cover.
  22. listened out
    The words ran slower
    and slower, hanging in the
    air like sonic clouds.
  23. leaves of the trinity
    The unwashed and the
    rogues came to hear preaching from
    St. Patrick himself.
  24. fading pages
    Read all about the
    rag that went from riches to
    irrelevancy.
  25. bundles of neuroses
    We stand naked in
    hopes that the other one sees
    beauty in our flaws.
  26. an author, of sorts
    The young scribe had earned
    thousands of downloads and Web
    notoriety.
  27. green pancakes
    Breakfast took on a
    tinge of spring to celebrate
    friends and renewal.
  28. for who i am
    Seeing myself through
    her eyes gives me pause. Am I
    neurotic and weird?
  29. age isn’t just a number
    They picked their cherished
    songs from the jukebox that spanned
    the many decades.
  30. a square lens
    The photographer
    seized bits and pieces of joy
    for her phone scrapbook.
  31. a fine listener
    The tall bottle poured
    another glass of cab while
    she shared her day’s news.
  32. the hanging judge
    The bench welcomed back
    the renegade magistrate
    who thumped with the best.
  33. the fullest plate
    Lives can be filled with
    opportunities, loved ones,
    or distractions. Pick.
  34. stances are
    He kept the world out
    with folded arms and earbuds,
    aloof and unmoved.
  35. the rejection notice
    Dear poet, your verse
    is worse and makes us averse
    to publishing it.
  36. casual tuesday
    Style has given way
    to casual chic to a
    casual grotesque.
  37. lamb on deck
    Such a warm spring feels
    great now, but will be hellish
    come late summertime.
  38. beware the fools of april
    The unfunny spill
    their trite amusements upon
    a suspecting world.
  39. a piece of the action
    Racers drive by in
    a blur. Return every few
    minutes. Blind finish.
  40. a generation of brats
    Coddle away, you
    misguided parents. We will
    all suffer later.
  41. the temporal triangle
    The clock runs backwards
    while waiting and waiting in
    the doctor’s office.
  42. forgotten silence
    Only when the mind
    can slip free can we feel the
    embrace of stillness.
  43. inane clown posse
    Fanatics spend their
    time perfecting painted sneers,
    gruesome visages.
  44. rolling thunder
    His legs lost in war,
    he greeted park visitors
    with poisonous slurs.
  45. putting out embers
    The CEO called
    the manager who texted
    the peon who slept.
  46. the somewhat good ol’ days
    Listen up, children,
    to hear tales of days that came
    post-prosperity.
  47. the littlest disasters
    Mayhem and mistakes
    swarm misbegotten souls who
    topple under stress.
  48. one fun pass, please
    A boy builds his dreams
    from cardboard boxes and lets
    the world in to play.
  49. three bites
    The French take three bites,
    I have been told, to stay thin.
    We just bite bigger.
  50. a country boy from the city
    He could not mask his
    down-home ways with fancy suits
    and urbane patter.
  51. don’t forget to tip your nerds
    The gurus and the
    campers held forth over beers
    and bright ideas.
  52. broadway in nashville
    The neon remains
    unlit as travelers walk
    past bar after bar.
  53. inner journey
    The voyage takes us
    to an unknown land, the soul
    without signposts.
  54. render unto others
    Calculating my
    fair share costs more than simply
    emptying pockets.
  55. not even a wide spot
    The cashier eyed the
    road wearily, waiting for
    her next lost driver.
  56. digital ghosts
    How we must look as
    we talk to unseen people
    for unseen reasons.
  57. afternoon pick-me-up
    Slowly, the drones came
    to the counter seeking their
    steaming hot fixes.
  58. another round of flapjacks
    The girls and boy chirped
    for more pancakes as fast as
    Mama could fry them up.
  59. wastes of time
    Each second squandered
    by 7 billion people
    devours lifetimes.
  60. a park under siege
    Gangs roamed the city
    park, but Batman was nowhere
    nearby. Gotham falls.
  61. no child left to leave behind
    The town elders held
    grudges. Pupils went blind from
    miseducation.
  62. skirmishes in the race war
    The invisible
    fault line shakes the residents,
    wrecks institutions.
  63. turned around
    The photographer
    snaps their family moment,
    backs to nosy eyes.
  64. calm and clear
    The hundreds lost to
    raging winds would have loved to
    see this sunny day.
  65. furrows in the yard
    Negative space, where
    trenches of dirt become lines
    of sprouts and sunshine.
  66. headspace
    The crowded go to
    extremes to find peace, quiet,
    places to think hard.
  67. dirt nip
    Compost heap awaits
    transfer to battleground where
    it aids seed forces.
  68. anthems to the old
    No one celebrates
    the collected wisdom or
    gumption of elders.
  69. the corner market news
    The sweet potatoes
    spied on strawberries that were
    minding their business.
  70. mat chat
    The universe speaks
    through the body in yoga.
    It says, loudly, “Ow!”
  71. lettuce be thankful
    Waves of fresh green and
    red and yellow and orangish-
    brown swirled the produce.
  72. ears everywhere
    Long before a vibe
    became a reality,
    the crier had sensed.
  73. open-door policy
    They came on foot, by
    bicycle and car to gawk
    at the stranger’s wares.
  74. presence
    Focusing on now,
    time does not stand still but fades
    from our existence.
  75. lines on a map
    The squirrels run rampant
    across political zones
    and property lines.
  76. the need to play in a word sandbox
    Syllables pour out
    like grains of sand, building book
    castles, word spires.
  77. standards beyond standards
    Perfection remains
    an elusive minx, never
    to be caught or tamed.
  78. gadget fever
    Shiny and new and
    still in the box, beckoning
    with beeps and flashes.
  79. spas like us
    The mud is relaxed.
    The towels, fluffed and piled high.
    Bring us a chai tea.
  80. beginner’s curve
    Pressure for the slow
    witted and tardy, racing
    to stay average.
  81. the war on learning
    Who can excel when
    children fight viciously and
    parents defend them?
  82. the boy in the mirror
    Looking into the
    glass, I spy a trembling lad
    staring at the floor.
  83. what to do with ripe tomatoes
    Plump tomatoes blush
    with naked abandon, as
    they get downright sauced.
  84. open, not closed
    The best things in life
    aren’t always free, but open
    to all who seek them.
  85. literature in stereo
    The author gently
    unwinds his novel into
    her waiting earbuds.
  86. on the nature of sass
    Only later would
    the gentleman come to learn
    that her sass was love.
  87. try, try, then give up
    Persistence can win
    in the end, but surrender
    can subtly subvert.
  88. paralysis
    People parade by.
    Everything happens without
    guidance from within.
  89. beach countdown
    Sandy shores await,
    once the bags are packed, the tank
    is filled, the work done.
  90. while her grandmother was under the knife
    Waiting for news from
    the surgeon, the granddaughter
    passed time giving blood.
  91. around sunset
    The duo played some
    Beatles songs and hummed along,
    sitting on the porch.
  92. an endless supply of ones and zeroes
    The ink-stained wretches
    looked at computers in awe
    and with creeping dread.
  93. lazy bones
    Neither the spirit
    nor the flesh are willing when
    it’s a long weekend.
  94. the untamed horizon
    Beyond what they could
    see was a place of danger
    and great mystery.
  95. beyond service
    In their graves, they rest
    quietly after fighting
    for those to be born.
  96. summer at the swimmin’ hole
    Skinny dipping ain’t
    for kicks, but to get cool as
    fast as possible.
  97. bugs’ bounty
    Trespassers in the
    yard must pay a toll in blood
    to winged collectors.
  98. a right proper sandwich
    Southern BLT
    comes without the B or the
    L and tastes just fine.
  99. waiting on the ac
    The wheel burns, the air
    smothers, the seat belt latch scalds,
    and the vinyl stings.
  100. hot on the trail of the ice cream truck
    He has popsicles
    and ice creams galore, but you
    have to catch him first.
  101. sandy sojourn
    Only place hotter
    than home is the beach. Why do
    we go there for fun?

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 23

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

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  1. attacks from within
    Bullets and blades can
    hurt, but a tiny microbe
    can fell a giant.
  2. style points
    Points to be given
    for appearance, poise, dance moves
    and elocution.
  3. occupy sanity
    Worse than protestors
    are citizens trying to
    suppress their neighbors.
  4. not a thousand words
    The picture on the
    mantel reminds me of what’s
    truly important.
  5. gobbler performance review
    Memo to turkeys:
    Please report to barnyard for
    final, final test.
  6. orchard of pickers
    Daintily they snatched
    the apples, where pros would have
    gone for sheer volume.
  7. reverse groundhog day
    The hermit comes out,
    not to check his shadow, but
    to forage for beers.
  8. bowing to pressure
    Practice time sped by
    as the novice sawed through notes
    on the violin.
  9. doom buggy
    Starts with empty cubes
    and progresses into full-
    blown sick day of aches.
  10. beyond blessings
    Be thankful for those
    who are thankless. Help them find
    ways to be thankful.
  11. shoppers’ delight
    The lure of savings
    proves too great, even for those
    who should be asleep.
  12. the question that is never quite settled
    Half the state pulls one
    way, half the state … the other.
    Tug of endless war.
  13. the wood pile
    Cords of wood await
    their turn to burn brightly in
    a warm fireplace.
  14. a light dusting
    Frantic were the moms
    who sought the last loaf of bread,
    the last thing of milk.
  15. forecast of madness
    Unseasonably
    warm fall turns to snowy winter.
    Where are my mittens?
  16. answer hazy
    The crystal ball took
    a deep breath before getting
    to the misfortune.
  17. jangle all the way
    Radio station
    that plays Christmas music in
    October? Humbug!
  18. mario 2011
    Plumber turned fighter
    laid off; job now handled by
    remote-controlled drone.
  19. dear santa 2011
    Just help those who need
    it most, and bring joy and love
    to children worldwide.
  20. honest labor
    People who do real
    work don’t have time to debate
    whether it’s real work.
  21. keys to success
    Concern for others
    over self. Leave things better
    than how you found them.
  22. tapping pencils
    Restless students eye
    the clock and calendar in
    wait for Christmas break.
  23. the pizza dilemma
    The more diners, the
    more time it takes to select
    three damn toppings.
  24. the backyard invader
    Without regard for
    boundaries, the silent scout
    leaps atop the car.
  25. what hope love
    Is the hope for love
    a quest, or is it hope that
    love brings on its own?
  26. santa drawl
    The redneck Santa
    spat before the next youngun
    hopped on for a spell.
  27. winterizing
    Extra layers can
    make the difference, whether
    from wool or from fat.
  28. then one foggy christmas eve in alabama
    Rudolph, with your nose
    so bright, won’t you hand over
    your papers or else?
  29. first world blues
    The first worlders had
    entangled themselves in a
    slew of petty woes.
  30. over the fence
    The weekly exchange
    of hellos maintains the truce
    between old neighbors.
  31. the book that never was
    Fifty thousand words
    deliver a tawdry tale
    on a blank tablet.
  32. if mistletoe could talk
    If mistletoe could
    talk, it would complain about
    bad breath all around.
  33. i had this moment of clarity
    I had this moment
    of clarity, but it left
    with sobriety.
  34. a random assortment of dueling pairs
    Every day brings a
    bowl game with one so-so squad
    against another.
  35. sleigh pre-flight check
    First thing to go if
    Santa’s sleigh is too heavy?
    All those batteries.
  36. lyrical stroll
    The songmaker found
    the words to say “I love you”
    walking to the curb.
  37. rolling clouds on the horizon
    Waves of cumulus
    surge in the distance as I
    scan for turbulence.
  38. family circus
    Little boy wanders
    neighborhood when he should be
    fetching Mommy’s beer.
  39. peanuts
    Gang of juvenile
    philosophers hangs out with
    fanciful beagle.
  40. garfield
    Lasagna-loving
    cat spends lifetime chasing off
    bachelor owner’s gals.
  41. joy
    A heart beats with new
    fervor, open to the world
    in all its glory.
  42. calvin and hobbes
    Rambunctious lad and
    wise tiger explore cosmos
    from their own backyard.
  43. doonesbury
    Generations of
    well-spoken, wry families
    in the throes of life.
  44. the boondocks
    Huey and Riley
    find suburbia too white.
    (Prefer the cartoon.)
  45. the far side
    Blah blah blah Ginger
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah Ginger blah blah.
  46. those who never stray far
    Those who never stray
    far from home know the best spots
    of a tiny pond.
  47. the brick pile
    The load feels lighter
    after unloading burdens
    from the duffel bag.
  48. the year of magical doing
    Come along with me,
    not to bear witness, but to
    share in the journey.
  49. in the guise of a huckster
    The cheery come-on
    masks a nefarious goal,
    to sell crap to you.
  50. a frosty departure
    The famed snowman left
    in a cloud of flakes for a
    less chilly hideout.
  51. an investment of brain power
    The crossword puzzle
    didn’t seem as alluring
    as the TV set.
  52. evolution of eating
    Some went hungry. Then
    most were fed badly. Must weigh
    freshness with access.
  53. the new new south
    Traditions define
    and strangle a defiant
    chunk of this country.
  54. the see-through forest
    Up the trail, he could
    see the ridge through the trees stripped
    of any pretense.
  55. patterns of tan
    The coffee cup held
    both beauty and warm/topped with
    an intricate stamp.
  56. cheering with an accent
    The cries rang out clear
    all over the state. Roll Tide!
    Or is it Reauxll Tide?
  57. roll to victory
    Bama’s pluck and grit
    have writ her name in crimson
    flame
    . Fight on, fight on!
  58. ignorance is
    When we have no more
    questions to answer, will we
    remain curious?
  59. loltrends
    One meme said to the
    other meme, “Start copying
    me!” Each was unique.
  60. pay no attention to the man behind the digital curtain
    Dorothy and her
    friends were surprised to find a
    jive robot instead.
  61. the unfolding of the universe
    The physics students
    discovered laws of motion
    while remaining still.
  62. the infectiousness of youth
    Dreams fly as fast as
    shooting stars, hurled by young minds
    unhindered by doubt.
  63. to be memorialized
    Not all leaders were
    saints, but revered for rising
    above human sins.
  64. the covert conversation
    Will no one bring up
    the elephant in the room
    that’s about to move?
  65. undomesticated animals
    Domesticated
    pets get fat, while feral ones
    are doomed to sad lives.
  66. modern inconveniences
    Long lines, bad signal,
    manmade ingredients, high
    gas prices, boredom.
  67. julie
    A childhood friend grows
    into a fighter, only
    to lose to cancer.
  68. make way for dragons
    From a distant shore,
    the winged beast swoops in to eat
    any stray townsfolk.
  69. an endless supply of hot water
    Teacups rattle at
    the prospect of liquid and
    leaves stirring within.
  70. virtual villages
    Door to door in the
    cyber communities means
    you can’t scrounge sugar.
  71. loose lips
    The office gossip
    thrives on chaos and lives for
    schadenfreude and snark.
  72. the persistent caller
    He would ring up the
    clerk throughout the week, only
    to find the line dead.
  73. the warrior class
    The soldiers trudge through
    their ordered routine of long
    days, boredom and shock.
  74. the accidental lab of the fifth dimension
    Somehow, the students
    found laws of the universe
    heretofore unknown.
  75. pastry crash
    The sculpted tower
    of sugar shatters into
    bitter, sweet pieces.
  76. the lambs have stopped screaming
    The flock of fluffy
    sheep crowded toward the streams of
    grass on the bare plain.
  77. the state of dreams
    Some dream of escape,
    others of the pa/and some
    see nothing asleep.
  78. if she could talk to the animals
    The caregiver wraps
    booboos on scraped paws and sings
    of quiet jungles.
  79. failure by proxy
    Not so much bang and
    whimper, but fading passion
    and indifference.
  80. behind the storm
    They crawled out, grateful
    to be alive and thinking
    about death’s house call.
  81. the loneliest group in the world
    The broken parties
    pulled up their chairs to confide
    tales of hiding out.
  82. tech city
    Beings from the near
    future swarmed the terminals
    to download updates.
  83. the real contest
    The battle is not
    on the turf but on the air,
    dueling commercials.
  84. a sudden bout of homesickness
    Strange smells and noisy
    motors, loud neighbors and cramped
    closet. Time to flee.
  85. woman of the hour
    She let the party
    and the presents slip by for
    time with friends and fam.
  86. the last pile of leaves
    Bits of autumn strewn
    about the lawn, stragglers in
    a too warm winter.
  87. the long lunch
    The rush passed as the
    diners evaporated,
    leaving us to chat.
  88. the meaning of gifts
    This one came from the
    drugstore, the others from the
    bargain bin at Zayre.
  89. consumption
    A sickness worldwide
    that causes blockage of the
    soul with gross clutter.
  90. cupid 2012
    He’s busy adding
    to his Pinterest boa/lost
    his bow in poker.
  91. fallen diva
    Beautiful voice cracks
    with the passage of time. No
    one can hear her dirge.
  92. love is in the despair
    Longing makes love both
    sweeter and bittersweet, a
    tender trap with heart.
  93. halloween for singles
    Bags of unsold sweets
    fill shopping carts for true love
    in lonely bellies.
  94. learning a lesson in learning
    Repetition builds
    understanding. Thus, repeat
    it so they get it.
  95. the notes still ring
    The sheet music fades
    from sight as the lights go out.
    The chorus sings on.
  96. domesticity 2012
    Her perfect life came
    not from a fairy tale but
    a Pinterest board.
  97. filters
    Firewall, Caller
    ID, peephole, V-chip, bleeped
    words, pop-up blockers.
  98. the gauntlet of fame
    Star exits limo
    to meet fans, stroll the carpet
    and talk on TV.
  99. delivering lol
    One silly picture
    carries joy to strangers who
    like to watch online.
  100. get inspired
    The muse crashed the dawn
    reverie while hung over
    from her carousing.
  101. the scars run together
    After a while, the
    scars run together like a
    tough skin tapestry.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 22

Monday, November 14th, 2011

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  1. to put it in perspective
    The weighing of life’s
    petty injustices pales
    next to real trauma.
  2. the busy bee
    The busy bee flew
    to her appointments, leaving
    a pollen of smiles.
  3. the well in the meadow
    He would visit the
    crumbling well often, hoping
    to refresh his joy.
  4. a repository in one hand
    All the world’s knowledge
    came in a small, battery-
    powered wizard’s box.
  5. summer’s last gasp
    One last jump in the
    pond, one last afternoon storm,
    one last ice cream cone.
  6. the path most taken
    She followed closely
    behind on the wooded trail,
    seeking only peace.
  7. the way of the economic dodo
    The capitalists
    shuffled their feet, unable
    to stay with the beat.
  8. the team reconfigured
    The right fielder went
    home, the shortstop dropped back, and
    the coach prayed for rain.
  9. precision sifting
    A light dusting of
    flour coated the counter
    top, the baker, too.
  10. bread and butter
    “What makes you tick?” she
    asked. “Cynicism,” he said.
    “My bread and butter.”
  11. a dream on the couch
    Lost on an island,
    the palms sway softly above …
    till the alarm calls.
  12. where once was peace
    The factions failed to
    realize their vast divides
    as they shared borders.
  13. temperate insanity
    Summer felt like fall
    on a spring-like afternoon
    before winter struck.
  14. pacing optional
    Eyes on you, notes a
    blur, microphone feedback and
    a feeling of doom.
  15. under oath
    The promises you
    make reveal your true nature
    once you’ve broken them.
  16. the birthday girl
    The birthday girl grew
    into a birthday woman
    with little girl dreams.
  17. the unattended library
    The books went unread,
    the magazines piled up and
    the reading halted.
  18. the test of time
    Good writing brings laughs
    for years. Bad writing brings tears
    every single day.
  19. 1984, the short version
    Big Brother is so
    bossy. Let’s love in secret.
    Rats clamped to my face.
  20. choose your own adventure
    The same old same old
    versus new and exciting
    shouldn’t be tricky.
  21. soon it will be fall
    The brutal heat will
    lift, and a swirl of cool will
    soothe our burnt bodies.
  22. whatever happened to …
    The best friends sometimes
    disappear into a haze
    of our yesteryears.
  23. how can real life compete?
    Real life versus life
    online. One matters, one is
    a parade of farce.
  24. all stacked up
    Opportunities
    hide within the papers stacked
    precariously.
  25. tales of the future
    Dining companions
    waited eagerly for each
    fortune to be read.
  26. pack up and move on
    Job to job, town to
    town, the hired gun moves with
    the whims of commerce.
  27. the comedy gene
    Some people are born
    funny. Some people are born.
    Some people are. Ha!
  28. wood chips and vinegar
    It’s not the rub, but
    the preparation. Not the
    sauces but the meat.
  29. the fighting butterflies
    The 5-year-olds were
    most fearsome, wearing little
    helmets and jerseys.
  30. beach sunset
    The pale sun oozes
    into the waters, melting
    away like sherbet.
  31. not so laborious
    Working for less is
    tiring, but not as much
    as unemployment.
  32. the branch that took down civilization
    The tropical storm
    swung a tree at the power
    lines, and all went dark.
  33. casualties of a blackout
    Milk, frozen pizza,
    eggs, cheeses, jars of sauce and
    homemade potstickers.
  34. unlearnable lessons
    Happy idiots
    skate through life without ever
    learning to play nice.
  35. along the sidelines
    The marching band warms
    up, the pom-pons shake, and the
    kicker says a prayer.
  36. art is all around
    The paintings are flat,
    the photos colorless, but
    the sidewalks burst forth.
  37. in remembrance of 9/11, 2001
    The towers still stand
    in spirit. America
    remembers, moves on.
  38. fury below the surface
    In digging up the
    poisonous vine, you find the
    root is buried deep.
  39. the duckling who would not get wet
    The timid duckling
    tested the waters and found
    them splashably kind.
  40. karma points
    Collect them all but
    don’t count on redeeming them
    till fate allows it.
  41. caught in a flash
    The gods of rock found
    their stolen souls matted and
    framed for mere gawkers.
  42. beyond the summit
    Looking out over
    the world, he found the top to
    be a lonely spot.
  43. the gentlemen who were not gentlemen
    They clawed and stole to
    achieve power, finding the
    rewards less than sound.
  44. the 11 true paths
    The lost shepherd walked
    the road to enlightenment
    when he found a fork …
  45. cue the orchestra
    Handing out trophies
    is harder than it looks when
    actors, flaks watching.
  46. haunted inc.
    The screams of budget
    bloodshed and staff slashings knife
    through hallways of ghosts.
  47. gullywashers
    Tires crush puddles
    to make little tsunamis
    along flooded streets.
  48. wrong turns aplenty
    We learn so much from
    crazy, stupid, immature
    choices. Hopefully.
  49. a sense of not belonging
    All eyes stared at the
    two teen boys on the sidewalk,
    in fear and wonder.
  50. fighting cell by cell
    The patient patient
    endured the chemicals and
    harsh radiation.
  51. dented expectations
    What should have been and
    what is, an ever-changing
    series of letdowns.
  52. that mother nature has a sense of humor
    Who left all these dead
    leaves in the yard, on the car
    and in the gutter?
  53. rise of the pumpkins
    They lurk behind vines,
    in lowly patches, under
    piles of hay. Orange beasts.
  54. the witch and the wardrobe
    The sorceress had
    nothing to wear but black, which
    screamed “I’m a downer.”
  55. wisps of escaping tea
    A porcelain cup
    with a few sips of herbal
    tea cooled by degrees.
  56. to harvest and harvest not
    In came veggies by
    the bushel, and sometimes, an
    unfortunate mouse.
  57. kickoff in 13 minutes
    Impatient shoppers
    clutched their bags of pork rinds and
    cases of light beer.
  58. the beauty of a bright blue sky
    The sun plays lightly
    on my nose, which detects hints
    of fall in the air.
  59. skyscraper school
    The elevator
    stopped at each department for
    new highs in learning.
  60. running on time
    The train disgorged its
    huddled cargo, closed its doors.
    No one said a word.
  61. turning of phrase
    The waitress listed
    the specials in her lilt and
    we knew where we were.
  62. in the next cosmo quiz
    She patiently taught
    him the basics: gaming, pets,
    coffee and doodles.
  63. rumble in the hinterlands
    Mighty were the teams
    that stormed the field, called the toss
    and clashed at the line.
  64. call to the antiestablishmentarians
    The youths brought their signs,
    their whistles and their voices
    to bring down the man.
  65. trail of leaves
    Bike tires crunched the
    leaves in their path, as autumn
    prepared for hard times.
  66. a duty to be brave
    He didn’t flinch when
    they tried to silence him with
    intimidation.
  67. a heart under wraps
    She kept her love well
    hidden, but it still peeked out
    occasionally.
  68. the cider cup rules
    A cup of fresh-pressed
    cider awaits the weary
    field hand at day’s end.
  69. the new southern hospitality
    The strangers picked our
    fields, built our homes, staffed our plants
    till we kicked them out.
  70. fall of the visionary
    No one paid heed to
    his ideas, till they leapt
    into our noggins.
  71. saturday priorities
    Once the bride and groom
    left the church, the guests turned back
    to the football game.
  72. a full dustpan
    The housekeeper swept
    up shards of promises that
    had broken last night.
  73. somewhat occupied
    The classes warred, and
    the well-to-do had a good
    chuckle at it all.
  74. no blog is an island
    Each site taps the next
    one on the shoulder to check
    if they’re connected.
  75. sauna of the south
    What better way to
    cool down after muggy day
    than temperature crash?
  76. remedial seasons
    A brisk fall day in
    the South comes long after fall
    began. We are slow.
  77. the white box
    The lovely bread that
    scents the air and steams when cut
    came from a machine.
  78. calling plays from the recliner
    Yelling loud enough
    should get that lazy defense
    on TV in gear.
  79. a healer in waiting
    She would rather cut
    people open to heal them
    than cut them apart.
  80. mind body one
    No disconnect, no
    one or other, just renewed
    harmony of self.
  81. talking is easy
    Talking is easy.
    Listening requires you
    to hold your own tongue.
  82. sketch book
    Line drawings fill the
    notebook with charcoal smudges
    and hints of insight.
  83. the instant storyteller
    Her stories are three
    sentences long with all the
    drama of a book.
  84. the treat is in the trick
    Hurl the eggs, and roll
    the houses. Let the urchins
    make mischief all night.
  85. puppetry from the past
    The Muppets return
    to a world with Auto-Tune
    and cell phone genies.
  86. the cult down the street
    Their cause is holy,
    undaunted by loud rebukes
    and simple logic.
  87. waking fears
    What’s scarier, the
    fears with our eyes shut or the
    ones in front of us?
  88. the patron saint of birmingham
    You can tell him by
    his robes and his soft words, his
    kindness to strangers.
  89. revels amongst the dead
    Fear not the rattle
    of bones and spirits, for they
    seek solace with us.
  90. envy not
    Envy not. What we
    hold are blessings not burdens,
    resilience not fear.
  91. secret to a good pb&j
    Peanut butter in
    every corner, jelly thick
    and evenly spread.
  92. pre-kickoff butterflies
    The teams are ready,
    but we are not. One hour
    to crown a victor.
  93. the entanglement of southern roots
    So deep the roots grow
    that no room is left for change,
    progress, tolerance.
  94. the roof on a brisk fall evening
    The muggers look like
    ants; the uninhibited
    gaze from their windows.
  95. twilight of the empire
    The mighty nation
    slid toward oblivion when
    its people lost sight.
  96. a mess is still a moment I can seize
    All will be well, e-
    ven after the promises
    broken to yourself
    .
  97. the cost of doing shadiness
    Back room deals led to
    erosion of trust and a
    ballooning of debt.
  98. bye bye billions
    Jefferson County
    had leadership bankruptcy,
    then real bankruptcy.
  99. game over in happy valley
    Monsters left to roam.
    And the final score: Football
    1, children 0.
  100. at the hops
    The connoisseurs with
    pretzel chokers drank fancy
    beers from wee glasses.
  101. the waiting game
    Her life moves forward
    without slowing down, but I
    hope to catch up soon.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 21

Friday, August 5th, 2011

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  1. the eggs-ecutioner
    One yolk screams in pain,
    while the other lies stunned in
    silence. Fried to death.
  2. eyes of the storm
    Cameras caught the herds
    of twisters stampeding through
    the defenseless towns.
  3. like so many matchsticks
    House after house, a
    school here, a church there, toppled,
    tossed, decimated.
  4. the cruellest month
    Goodbye, April. You
    were needlessly heartless and
    ripped the earth apart.
  5. the thin multihued line
    They came with shovels
    and water, prepared for the
    worst and found horror.
  6. they got him
    Navy Seals take out
    Public Enemy No.
    1. Justice at last.
  7. where the streets have no names
    The teen worker stoops
    to spray-paint the asphalt with
    the name of the road.
  8. walk on
    Can’t say where it is,
    but I know I’m going home.
    That’s where the hurt is.
  9. what lies beneath
    Among the rubble
    lies broken china, ruined
    clothes, maybe some hope.
  10. on guard from the looters
    The men with guns keep
    watch from looters, yet all that’s
    left are bricks and boards.
  11. setec astronomy
    The surprise became
    anticlimactic when the
    big secret wasn’t.
  12. you are my sunshine
    She passes me notes
    throughout the day that light up
    my darkest hours.
  13. how to bag in paper
    Heavy at bottom,
    cold with cold, squishy at top.
    Not really that hard.
  14. march of the mortarboards
    Come forward and get
    your piece of paper. It’s a
    ticket to somewhere.
  15. gotta get down on friday
    What happens when pop
    culture collides with online
    notoriety?
  16. the shortest spring
    For a week or so,
    the outdoors were a delight …
    till summer heat hit.
  17. no hazing
    The jazz club had a
    hot band, whiskey shots and no
    smoking permitted.
  18. the out-of-towners
    In the car they hopped,
    carefree adventures ahead
    on the highway out.
  19. a toddler’s worship
    The little boy in
    the jumpsuit ran among the
    pews in search of God.
  20. to prowl the jungle
    The little creature
    dreamt of hunts in the wild and
    running free, bounding.
  21. the recipe that takes the longest
    Three ounces of a
    missing ingredient means
    one more shopping trip.
  22. doomsday never happens on a weekend
    God would put doomsday
    on a Monday so He could
    see who went to church.
  23. written in the wind
    Lovely words have no
    place in a visual, non-
    stop society.
  24. bright city
    The glare overtakes
    the view, pierced by the solar
    flashes from afar.
  25. the tough road
    Easier to tear
    something down than build something
    up. Be a builder.
  26. x-ray vision
    Knowing people so
    well prevents mishaps, even as
    others are lured in.
  27. heat spell
    Sizzle, sizzle, burn
    and fizzle. Need a drink to
    mix with a swizzle.
  28. wikileaks 2021
    Pics of everyone’s
    genitals, old cell numbers
    and who we slept with.
  29. the methodology of caring
    Form a committee,
    then another, make a chart …
    Or help as needed.
  30. mindset
    The body is slumped
    in the cubicle chair; the
    mind lies on the beach.
  31. the lighter load
    The load in life seems
    pretty heavy, till you see
    someone being crushed.
  32. spokes people
    Armies on cycles
    hug the turns and revel in
    open-air freedom.
  33. words with friends
    The coven shared its
    secrets, whispers of truth that
    were concealed as dirt.
  34. some sacrifice
    It’s easy to show
    support of troops who have passed.
    Support the living.
  35. color me bad
    Being saintly does
    not fit; neither does being
    evil. Good and bad?
  36. states of being
    Schrödinger’s cat slept
    and yet did not sleep in the
    afternoon sunbeam.
  37. 3-digit days
    Hot isn’t the same
    as Alabama hot, which
    demands AC, tea.
  38. trimmed to the dirt
    They hacked at the land
    till all that was left were spots
    of light green and brown.
  39. love takes courage
    If hate takes fear and
    magnifies it, love takes cour-
    age and rewards it.
  40. sermon on the hillside
    Father Donovan
    blessed the sacrament, and the
    choir rose to sing.
  41. empty rooms
    No one has lived in
    the stately cottage for months
    as the weeds grow round.
  42. the respectable
    The respectable
    never sully themselves with
    the commoners much.
  43. school lunch 3.0
    No more tater tots
    or chocolate milk, just healthy
    food no child will touch.
  44. a gamble with the law
    Politicians and
    gangsters huddle to try to
    beat the legal house.
  45. trust issues
    Trust isn’t given,
    it’s earned. Or is it other
    way around? Faith … fate?
  46. fountains of youth
    A mad dash through the
    sprinkler, and then another.
    Giggles rain like drops.
  47. comfort breeds forgetfulness
    The plight of the storm-
    tossed is lost amid keeping
    track of mundane tasks.
  48. games of chance
    Bingo, poker, craps,
    roulette, slot machines, blackjack
    and state politics.
  49. 511 days till election day
    The debates have kicked
    off. Why should they wait till last
    minute to sling mud?
  50. till you’re safe and sound
    Could you not be sad?
    Could you not break down? After
    all, I won’t let go
  51. the forecast of doom
    Snowstorms and ice, hail
    and tornadoes, three-digit
    temps. Two seasons in.
  52. it’s good to be queen
    Gazing upon her
    subjects, she could not help but
    feel pity, contempt.
  53. texts from last week
    “Going 2 teh store.”
    “Will U get me some cookees?”
    “I M not yr slave!”
  54. spaceship mirth
    Golf ball of giants.
    Is it below par? No way.
    The club must be huge.
  55. drippy days
    The ice cream started
    running through the cone’s tip way
    before the first lick.
  56. all summer in a day
    Margot spends hours
    trapped in Venusian closet.
    Ultimate sunscreen.
  57. dark as a rule
    Navigation would
    be impossible save for
    headlights in blackout.
  58. the march of digital progress
    Ancient browser wrecks
    coded work of art. Time to
    upgrade, damn Luddite.
  59. elevated tweetup
    The birds perched on the
    power line, gossiping on
    the juiciest flaps.
  60. mother nature has the power
    Power blinks out once
    more. No TV, no laptop.
    And there goes the milk.
  61. the unwelcome stranger
    Immigrants welcome,
    as long as they smell OK,
    work hard, have papers.
  62. approach at 0 feet altitude
    Cars stuck in holding
    pattern circling for pick-ups
    of worn passengers.
  63. the untended yard
    The most noxious weed
    wasn’t in the ground, but out
    spreading seed elsewhere.
  64. snack attack
    The tiny candy
    bar pacified the tummy.
    Until the second.
  65. halftime 2011
    Break out the bands and
    the cheerleaders. We’re down by
    a lot, but not out.
  66. the watermelon patch
    It comes in red and
    green and cures the craving for
    spitting seeds around.
  67. the past in pixels
    The one gallery
    brought back moments from childhood,
    both joy and sorrow.
  68. a weird distance
    Seeing people you
    thought you knew well puts a weird
    distance between you.
  69. the freedom to
    Speak, move, assemble,
    disagree, vote, worship, bear
    arms, have a free press.
  70. summer harvest
    Into the basket
    leapt the tomatoes off the
    vines, the corn from stalks.
  71. the lightweight
    It took one beer to
    do him in. One more sip and
    he would’ve passed out.
  72. faux foe
    Not the virtual
    enemy that has all the
    luck, but your own fears.
  73. the house of no repute
    The foreclosed abode
    waits to be adopted as
    the weeds take over.
  74. cheap lunch date
    They shared a tuna
    sandwich, apple slices and
    an entire park.
  75. desert without sand
    The hills shimmered in
    the blistering sun. Green turned
    to waterless brown.
  76. pack of pugs
    They patrol the rooms
    together, snorting, sniffing,
    waiting for scratches.
  77. trees skinned alive
    Above the blue tarps
    are the missing treetops, shorn
    clean by tornadoes.
  78. barstool brigade
    The old timers sat
    and drank their cheap beer, whiling
    away their problems.
  79. the twist
    The twist turned out to
    be that everyone lived quite
    normally henceforth.
  80. trappings and such
    Mere trappings do not
    make the man, but only serve
    to ensnarl his soul.
  81. coming attractions
    The lights went down, the
    previews began, the viewers
    hushed, the magic flowed.
  82. over the hills and through the woods
    We wandered through the
    forest like lost children who
    never want to leave.
  83. doorstep to doorstep
    The tiny package
    moved through the pipes on its way
    to obsolescence.
  84. her name is mud
    The babbling brook calls
    to her as it digs into
    the dirt and the dust.
  85. only so much hustle
    Go! go! go! until
    the couch beckons, lulling you
    into deep slumber.
  86. listmania!
    Too many to-dos
    pull brain like taffy, stretched thin
    and icky sticky.
  87. a new horizon
    The ship sailed on, blind
    to the typhoons and monsters
    that lie in her path.
  88. sunflower sunrise
    Flowers brightened the
    morning at the market like
    a bouquet of rays.
  89. hearth strings
    The melodies of
    a violin filled the house
    and it felt like home.
  90. subtext is everything
    Gentle questions hide
    another agenda from
    those innocent ears.
  91. a distant boom
    Summer thunderstorm
    rolls by with great acclaim, leaves
    trail of low echoes.
  92. the soul of a soul singer
    She couldn’t escape
    the pain of living, yet her
    smoky voice lives on.
  93. the dare
    When a coward asks
    you to call him a coward
    to his face, do it.
  94. box lunch, lunch box
    The bento had not
    been to Japan, but carried
    a taste from far off.
  95. and they still bring the mail to you
    Bills and flyers, cards
    and offers and misaddressed
    junk cram the box full.
  96. almost all natural
    Her diet involved
    fruit, vegetables and water,
    with a few milkshakes.
  97. subtle interrogation
    The unwitting soul
    knew nothing of subtext while
    answering the text.
  98. the years, they go by so quickly
    The candles pile up
    atop the cake, the regrets
    flow like unchecked tears.
  99. factions
    The gangs eyed each group,
    wary of agendas and
    motives not their own.
  100. cozy sheets
    Bed calls out, don’t leave,
    in a sultry soothing tone,
    but work screams louder.
  101. withered fortunes
    Myrna watched her life
    savings evaporate in
    the wink of a lie.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 20

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

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  1. brotherhood of bread
    They split the loaf as
    they had many times before,
    bonding with baguette.
  2. all run by elves
    The magic happens
    thanks to tireless elves who
    cook, clean, write, fold clothes …
  3. art on demand
    “We want more art now!”
    the audience bellowed. But
    the artist demurred.
  4. the day the blackberry died
    No beeps, no flashing
    light, no interruptions, no
    crises, no love lost.
  5. the routine
    The monotony
    continues unhindered while
    others break patterns.
  6. 40
    The ship left port some
    40 years ago, steering
    by the stars above.
  7. hooked on a feeding
    Some eat for pleasure.
    Some take pleasure in cooking.
    At the center, food.
  8. the new new new normal
    Panic, snark, outrage
    are all outmoded. Time for
    full-on terpitude.
  9. the lovebug nest
    They sit alone, an
    unnatural state for them,
    these social insects.
  10. a tin of salt
    No tiny gift goes
    unnoticed, even a tin
    of coarse gourmet salt.
  11. the rattling
    The rattling was
    eventually traced back
    to a soul dislodged.
  12. through the earth
    A seedling poked his
    head through hard dirt to see if
    winter had left town.
  13. perspectives from devils and angels
    Is the world good or
    bad? Or does that depend on
    if you’re good or bad?
  14. he fought the so-so fight
    Misunderstood by
    his contemporaries, he
    tilted at straw men.
  15. seasonal schizophrenia
    Cycle of winter
    in Alabama: colder,
    snow, ice, then heat spell.
  16. i’ll get right on that
    “I need you to do
    me a favor.” The eight most
    dreaded words ever.
  17. put a lid on it
    Wherever the head
    went, the hat stayed on top of
    it, perched and ready.
  18. flight of the go-getters
    They wouldn’t, couldn’t
    stick around any longer.
    New horizons called.
  19. on the banks in the freezing cold
    The creek runs low this
    time of year. The critters are
    in hiding somewhere.
  20. be still
    Be still. Contemplate
    existence. Breathe in, breathe out.
    Wait, then wait some more.
  21. the cool kids club
    Their lunch table is
    exactly the same as all
    lunch tables, but not.
  22. the snow, man
    Old Man Winter popped
    in for a visit, only
    to startle the town.
  23. made in the world
    It may be one world,
    but China still makes our stuff
    at low, low prices.
  24. sweets surrender
    Each bite of pie brings
    a taste of regret, as though
    the fatness cometh.
  25. i never
    Bad decisions make
    for the best stories, even
    if they’re your choices.
  26. flower forecast
    Everything’s coming
    up expensive. But skipping
    bouquet can cost more.
  27. citified drawl
    Birmingham’s accent
    is soft, a gentle porch breeze
    without many airs.
  28. cupid 2.0
    His quiver carries
    both arrows and pre-nups, on
    his lawyer’s counsel.
  29. lack history month
    Not so much the shade
    of history but the real
    lessons need teaching.
  30. star-crossed haters
    The pair’s mutual
    dislike of everything made
    them compatible.
  31. away with coffee
    The affair ended
    with her tossing her dark roast
    to the compost heap.
  32. screens
    Laptop calculates,
    BlackBerry buzzes, plasma
    pulses, iPad sleeps.
  33. before the rush
    Chairs suspend themselves
    on tables as a wayward
    mop glides lazily.
  34. positive energy
    The reservoir of
    positive energy is
    replenished with hope.
  35. these walls do talk
    “You are beautiful.”
    The message spread through the town.
    “You are beautiful.”
  36. creatures stirring
    A solitary
    torch keeps me company as
    I hunt fireflies.
  37. volunteer fireman
    Putting out fires
    in the office has become
    burning sensation.
  38. awards season
    They hand out trophies
    under the Hollywood sign
    with proof of purchase.
  39. roses, stage 1
    The dormant bush kept
    very still, impatient to
    burst forth with good news.
  40. her left arm
    She would give her left
    arm for sleep, coffee, nice shoes,
    good hair and a kiss.
  41. the well runs dry
    The hole in the earth
    belched a cloud of dust, spent from
    giving up water.
  42. you can just sense it
    An arched brow gave way
    to a wrinkled frown. The cards
    could not bail him out.
  43. a serpent made of limos
    The glamorous were
    eased down the digestive tract
    of the beast of fame.
  44. first date
    The trouble with first
    dates is the magic will be
    mostly alcohol.
  45. in like a lion
    Spring waits in the wings,
    eager to spread sunshine’s roar
    to a sleeping world.
  46. sweet victory
    Winning isn’t the
    goal always, but it sure beats
    losing or tying.
  47. the process of wooing
    Dance starts with a long
    glance. Then gestures and drinks. And
    ends with date or slap.
  48. park respite
    Lunchtime crowd lingers
    longer to soak up the warmth
    in the oasis.
  49. love won’t leave
    Love is the secret
    hope, the persistent bug, the
    vise on a lone heart.
  50. a sunday of nothing
    Hot coffee, good book,
    jazz tunes, fresh croissants, light rain,
    fresh flowers, soft smile.
  51. the standard of mediocrity
    Settling is how this
    country was founded, and the
    way it stays the same.
  52. dancing in the lobby
    They couldn’t find the
    reception, so they ended
    up waltzing in place.
  53. net gain or loss
    The hardwood vibrates
    from fan intensity as
    the players warm up.
  54. flight to the heavens
    The rocket plume did
    not arc across the sky but
    pointed to beyond.
  55. conversation ticker
    Buy! The talk turns to
    culture. Sell! Back to cooking.
    Hold! Current events.
  56. the passion of the berries
    Blueberry baskets
    tumble into pie tins and
    hand-cranked ice cream churns.
  57. up the interstate
    Truck stop offers hot
    showers, ample parking. Turn
    off at next exit.
  58. bun extraction
    The newborn isn’t
    yet born, still baking before
    entering the world.
  59. pie focals
    Every pie on Earth
    filled the banquet table with
    every eye on Earth.
  60. st. patrick’s eve
    Kegs fall in line for
    duty to brave women and
    men who fight for drafts.
  61. fields of green
    Rolling hills calm the
    soul, gliding along on a
    bicycle for one.
  62. plus one
    Her words came screaming
    out. Beneath the tears and fears,
    she announced her burst.
  63. sprung forward
    The clocks have jumped the
    gun, waiting for Ms. Mother
    Nature to catch up.
  64. the clone wars
    Cover bands toil
    for reflected glory from
    authentic knock-offs.
  65. green power
    The aching dust coats
    the metallic skin, leaving
    misery around.
  66. facts is facts
    Truth isn’t all it’s
    supposed to be. But neither
    is soothing fiction.
  67. join the parade
    The clatter of feet
    and cars and bands and Shriners
    and floats approaches.
  68. the countdown
    Invites sent, menu
    set, decorations in place,
    band tuned, almost there.
  69. renewal phase
    The promise of a
    new season inspires us
    to grow, to become.
  70. a call for poets
    The call for poets
    did not roil the land but
    shook hearts from within.
  71. sunday brunch 2011
    The warm mimosas
    remained unsipped while the group
    stared at their smartphones.
  72. march maelstroms
    Storms roll through leaving
    hail and branches strewn about.
    The air calms, clears up.
  73. ode to a cupcake
    When eating a whole
    cake by yourself is frowned on
    by society.
  74. _the corridors of power
    Up and down the long
    hallways hung crudely drawn hopes
    from the city’s youth.
  75. time flies when you’re having fondue
    Spear the fruit, dip the
    chunk, coat the sides, slow the drips,
    chew the piece. Repeat.
  76. campus springtime
    The snap of cold threw
    off the students looking for
    sun while crossing quads.
  77. bunny test run
    Stuntrabbits hide their
    simulated eggs throughout
    an obstacle course.
  78. a mild coma
    The wear and tear of
    everyday life compounds with
    a lack of leisure.
  79. blooming of festivals
    Tent poles poke up from
    the earth. Tents blossom, buzzed by
    tall bees on two legs.
  80. not my crowd
    They goose each other
    with familiarity
    while I stand aside.
  81. rutted
    Those who are bored can
    be inspired, but most of
    the time, they’re boring.
  82. part-time architect
    In the mornings, she
    constructs a blanket fort for
    the scampering ones.
  83. the perfect macaroon
    A macaroon would
    be much improved without that
    yucky coconut.
  84. poultry quandary
    Guess what. Chicken butt.
    Guess why. Chicken thigh. Guess where.
    Chicken unaware.
  85. green dust
    Pollen amassed on
    Chevy hoods and porch swings brings
    new flowers to bloom.
  86. the butterfly defect
    The butterfly knows
    not of civil turmoil
    while floating on air.
  87. the secret girl
    Cheers to the secret
    girl, placed on a pedestal
    high above the fray.
  88. buffoons of the postmodern era
    They wear their blatant
    idiocy proudly, to
    profit from hecklers.
  89. sea of flesh
    The park’s sea of green
    becomes a sea of flesh as
    the sun laps the shores.
  90. internal ice age
    Wear your sweaters at
    the office. Hot temps outside
    mean arctic inside.
  91. seasons of the grill
    Late winter grilling
    has turned to early springtime
    grilling. Charcoal, please.
  92. test pilots in training
    A tail swings to and
    fro as its kite ascends to
    become a mere speck.
  93. 1040 or fight
    An accountant keeps
    the numbers in line, making
    them letter perfect.
  94. find the symbolism
    The bald goat ate the
    last blade of grass on Earth while
    bleeding crude oil.
  95. off the trail
    The markers did not
    help the colorblind hiker,
    lost in nature’s awe.
  96. tantrums in the sky
    The unseen toddler
    rattles the globe, shaking loose
    the raindrops and gusts.
  97. mixer
    One part schmoozing, two
    parts drinking, three parts waiting,
    mix well, serve smoothly.
  98. the laying of eggs
    Someone left behind
    these painted eggs where any
    toddler could find them!
  99. to live again
    Birth, death and rebirth
    are all the same, as we skim
    across life to life.
  100. the rose garden
    She skipped through the rose
    garden, where all the blooms smiled
    back in jealousy.
  101. in place of crickets
    The clickety-clack
    of a keypad, the dull hum
    of a laptop fan.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 19

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

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  1. the great pumpkin claus
    Time for tricks and treats,
    so let’s put up the Christmas
    decorations now.
  2. the unbathed
    Boy, dog conspire
    to stay in the yard and far
    away from the tub.
  3. middling life crisis
    It’s not so much the
    timing as it is the waste
    of years and minutes.
  4. the fastidious and the fury
    The napkin rings must
    be just so, the dining room
    dust free. Perfect clench.
  5. graveyard of broken gadgets
    Old cell phones, iPods
    don’t head to the farm, but to
    a wiry grave.
  6. five by five
    High five. Nine to five.
    Take five. Five-finger discount.
    Five years and counting.
  7. when i’m not creating
    A faint snore marks the
    onset of slumber, dreaming
    up new ideas.
  8. the mountain
    The mountain to climb
    is not made of piled earth but of
    paperwork and debts.
  9. paroled
    Sometimes employees
    don’t recognize freedom till
    they’re sprung from their jobs.
  10. the cracks are showing
    Battered spirits seek
    shelter against the bumps and
    bruises of living.
  11. the right candy
    The right candy is
    whatever lands in your bag
    from trick or treating.
  12. ghost hunters
    Some people see ghosts
    not on Halloween but in
    the car, the closet.
  13. being scared
    Can’t get the scream out
    with all the blood and noise and
    fleeing for your life.
  14. hell house 2010
    Bingo addicts, file
    sharers, sexting pervs, oil
    spillers and furries.
  15. an excuse to be trampy
    Demure? Bah, humbug.
    Ladies, make this Halloween
    one we won’t forget.
  16. trick rolled
    Step 1: Ring doorbell.
    Step 2: Ignite bag of poo.
    Step 3: Run for it!
  17. costumes for 2010
    Like Button, Old Spice
    guy, Baby Lady Gaga,
    “Inception” … somehow.
  18. pig in a garden
    Snout sniffs for morsels
    hiding in the soil, curled
    pink tail wiggles round.
  19. cooling trend
    The shorter days, the
    longer nights, darkness roams with
    frosty companions.
  20. a house cleaning, of sorts
    The G-men pulled some
    bad apples in a barrel
    full of rotten ones.
  21. bundled up
    Inner warmth powers
    non-electric blanket while
    curled up on the couch.
  22. talk therapy
    The voices within
    have come to a decision:
    sausage, extra cheese.
  23. the next destination
    Riding on the bus
    listening to the motor
    strain for one more mile.
  24. rivalries
    Friends come and go, but
    bitter rivalries endure
    for generations.
  25. the ancient book of numbers
    Yellow pages filled
    with obscure methods to reach
    people on the stay.
  26. smf
    In times of madness,
    shake your tiny fists of rage
    at an uncouth world.
  27. the 33
    Even in the dark
    bowels of the earth, hope lives
    for the survivors.
  28. to kill a mockingbird 2010
    Boo Radley scurries
    between McMansions scouting
    for diversity.
  29. chat affair
    Hi. What’s up? Nothing,
    u? Same. K. Dinner? Maybe.
    Lemme know. Later.
  30. devils in disguise
    These days, evil ones
    parade naked in the streets
    to blind, cheering crowds.
  31. to be someone else
    Slip on the guise of
    a better persona to
    explore your psyche.
  32. holiday sprint
    Dash to the malls, dress
    up for parties, cook tons of
    food, play overtime.
  33. ballad of the ballot
    Sometimes, they voted
    for. Sometimes, against. But they
    made the time to choose.
  34. firehouse of democracy
    The electorate
    stood their ground, scribbling in dots
    amid fire trucks.
  35. the birthday boy
    The birthday boy gets
    cake, presents, a pony ride
    and lots of warm hugs.
  36. the coalition of the unwilling
    They will not change their
    ways, their hearts, their minds, not for
    all the sense around.
  37. even cold november rain
    Never mind darkness,
    we can find a way. ‘Cause noth-
    in’ lasts forever.
  38. a faint gobble
    Somewhere at a plant,
    your Thanksgiving turkey rides
    a death conveyor.
  39. for the pregnant tweeter
    When will the fetus
    come and meet us? Will he greet
    us or just tweet us?
  40. one-hour computation
    Daylight Saving has
    little interest but compounds
    bad sleeping habits.
  41. for kathy
    Deadlines pass, but great
    words filled with vitality
    endure forever.
  42. belief system
    Even the thinnest
    of beliefs can withstand the
    mightiest of blows.
  43. if everyone else is insane
    The boundaries of
    sanity are far more per-
    meable than hoped.
  44. dust to dust
    Will any of the
    pettiness matter when we
    reach the end of days?
  45. the do nothings
    The do nothings gab
    and commend themselves on a
    job not done at all.
  46. the guest who wouldn’t leave
    He won’t take the hint,
    leaving germs and sickness strewn
    about the household.
  47. intersection crash
    Limited time and
    many opportunities
    collide at junction.
  48. subtle product placement
    This haiku is brought
    to you by Halliburton
    and Diet Pepsi.
  49. blogging while driving
    Mixing SEO
    and MPH seems like crash
    course in 404.
  50. the countdown has begun
    Shoppers will invade
    stores at the crack of dawn, then
    rush home for football.
  51. in the walmart parking lot on a freezing night
    Two girls wander with
    empty pitchers begging for
    change, not dirty looks.
  52. put a ring on it
    Engagement season
    ends with tears, starts with wallet
    turned to ice pebble.
  53. invasion of the giant balloons
    The mammoth cartoon
    figures float with sharp eyes peeled
    for sharp points en route.
  54. the hunt for skinny jeans
    Pair after pair trot
    into the cold fitting room,
    dismissed in a huff.
  55. the tsa handshake
    Weary traveler,
    worry not for bombs in your
    genitalia.
  56. all about pacing
    Small bites and lots of
    chewing can get you through the
    feasting holiday.
  57. funereal advice
    The preacher told the
    staid mourners to love more, love
    now and love freely.
  58. fit to be yuletide
    Christmas shopping done?
    Commendable achievement.
    And yet we hate you.
  59. turkey watch, day 4
    Up to our giblets
    in leftovers, with nary
    a taste for sevenths.
  60. winding down the year
    Do we look back at
    what was done, to now for what’s
    left, to next year’s goals?
  61. bumper people
    The rain is just an
    excuse for lousy drivers
    to come out and slay.
  62. winter’s bane
    The humidity
    and heat have flown south for the
    season. In comes chills.
  63. the think tank
    As the tub filled with
    water, the overworked mom
    sank into her thoughts.
  64. simple gift cards
    Get whatever you
    want at the earmuff outlet,
    up to 10 dollars.
  65. the problems of others
    I can only guess
    at the problems of others
    while self pitying.
  66. it starts in the oven
    The scent wafts from the
    cookies-to-be to noses
    innocent till now.
  67. naughty nice real-time data
    Children text Santa
    with ever-changing toy lists
    while ignoring joy.
  68. hot holiday items
    Jobs, health insurance,
    groceries, bills paid on time,
    working cars, quiet.
  69. imaginary flurries
    The chill in the air
    would burst forth with snow, but the
    clouds will not comply.
  70. last night of hanukkah
    A blessing: May you
    be sealed totally for good.
    Let’s spin the dreidel.
  71. worn down
    Life has a way of
    wearing down the spunk and the
    spirit. Damn it all.
  72. 40 years and 40 nights
    A few gray hairs, a
    set of wisdom wrinkles, an
    eye for horizons.
  73. santa from the south pole
    Gun rack on the sleigh,
    sticker of Calvin peeing
    on Easter Bunny.
  74. eyes front
    Why do I look when
    I pee? I’ve seen this show at
    least a million times.
  75. when it gets this cold
    When it gets this cold,
    squirrels become popsicles
    and eyes become ice.
  76. cookies for dinner
    Sweet temptations lure
    us from a balanced meal to
    a late sugar crash.
  77. a colder, harder kind of snow
    The children were thrilled
    to leave school early and build
    a sleetman at home.
  78. responding to a full heart
    The world always needs
    more love. Let some out so all
    can share in the warmth.
  79. best journalism advice i ever received
    Be fair, be accu-
    rate. Or, if that fails, just be
    fairly accurate.
  80. flip, flip, flip
    The page turns. The words
    caress the battered mind like
    a salve. The page turns.
  81. the show-off
    The illusionist
    stepped before the audience
    and made them believe.
  82. long live darkness
    The sun goes down and
    stays down while the moon frolics
    amidst frozen stars.
  83. restless pajamas
    The hours seem like
    eternities as wee ones
    wait for reindeer thuds.
  84. mall madness
    The parking lot is
    crammed. The food court is seething.
    Clerks are winging it.
  85. all reindeer are go
    Comet is pumped, and
    Dasher and Donner want to
    lead. Rudolph? Aglow.
  86. don’t need no presents
    Don’t need no new tie,
    or sauce pan or video
    game. Just your Yule smile.
  87. as planned
    Did the year go as
    planned, or was it a jumble
    of events and lulls?
  88. just like the ones i used to know
    A white Christmas came
    to Alabama, draping
    Dixie with surprise.
  89. say goodbye to 2010
    Vuvuzela, top
    kill, Antoine Dodson, double
    rainbow, Inception.
  90. the happy hour of a so-so day
    The jukebox cranks up
    to drown sorrows in pop hits
    as bottle caps fly.
  91. the creature under the deck
    The creature under
    the deck only emerges
    for cans of cat food.
  92. the odometer on the calendar
    It’s about to be
    11:11 on
    1-1-11!
  93. the renewal
    Do not fear what is
    to come, what cannot be made
    to obey. Be bold.
  94. the fields of winter
    Desolate the land
    stood, outstretched, barren, yet full
    of seeds for blooming.
  95. stride
    Hit it and go far,
    break it and fall off the path,
    maintain it and run.
  96. nothing but the hum of the lights
    Morning cubicle
    sits amongst the herd. Coffee
    steam rises in wisps.
  97. the silly hour
    Late at night, we’d stop
    cramming, start roaming, looking
    for mischief and snacks.
  98. the miracle worker
    The father crawled from
    bed to journey in darkness
    work and come home late.
  99. milk sandwich
    Worse than snow forecast
    in the South? Pre-snow stampede
    in the bread, milk aisles.
  100. the year so far, an early report
    Snow threat, possible
    national championship,
    shooting in Tucson.
  101. championship rings
    The toughest team wears
    the fanciest rings, which makes
    no sense in real life.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 18

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

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  1. too much mercury
    Ice cream cone becomes
    a hot drink. Panting dog bursts
    into flames. Sun laughs.
  2. groove thing
    If you’re in it, you
    don’t need it back. If you need
    it back, keep groovin’.
  3. defeat has set in
    The light is blinding.
    Where to hide from misery
    seeping deep within?
  4. common causes in the 21st century
    An injustice. A
    Facebook group. Now all they need
    is to push back hard.
  5. the only tradition that counts
    Thousands of years of
    tradition, yet on the spot
    new ones come to pass.
  6. four-door oven
    The dashboard display
    says 101 degrees,
    but it feels hotter.
  7. marching orders
    The little army
    of ants runs on the desert
    of the windowsill.
  8. in how you look at it
    Two strangers each have
    perfect vision, but see things
    very differently.
  9. she ain’t nothing but a gravedigger
    The terran capsules
    carry explorers on a
    journey to space dust.
  10. ice cream sunday
    Cranky cook stirs the
    pot, crystallizing the cream
    into wondrous mush.
  11. the two-and-a-half-day weekend
    Beat the rush to your
    favorite vacation site:
    your cluttered bedroom.
  12. the worst deal ever
    Pay extra, get less,
    no customer service, plus
    free kick to the groin.
  13. the freedom to
    Talk. Get together.
    Pray. Shoot guns. Pick leaders. Roam.
    Publish. Celebrate.
  14. three dusty roses
    The vase becomes an
    urn as the blooms turn to dry
    petals on the sill.
  15. when life sells you lemons
    The girls hawk their brand
    of sour-sweet refreshment
    as cars rush homeward.
  16. ideas like candy
    The ways are many,
    the will is weak, and the foes
    are getting warmed up.
  17. 2-step program
    Step 1: Get over
    yourself. Step 2: Try not to
    screw this up, OK?
  18. known unknowns
    People who “know it
    all” are dumb, but so are those
    who know their limits.
  19. letting go the words
    Sage mom proffers her
    advice, all the while knowing
    stubborn son won’t heed.
  20. normal earth people
    Normal Earth people
    drive to work, breed, fight a lot,
    devour at will.
  21. summer souvenirs
    Each trip to the great
    outdoors pulls in a bevy
    of bug bites galore.
  22. 5:35 a.m.
    Awakened by the
    thunder, I pull you closer
    to me and drift off.
  23. democracy inaction
    If only we had
    more people vote, then we’d have
    more people to blame.
  24. bad produce needs love, too
    Bumps and bruises mar
    their skin, but inside, they’re still
    full of nutrients.
  25. sparkly vampires
    Were vampires not
    dandy enough before this
    whole glitter effect?
  26. the desire of botany
    Recently deceased
    plants for love, and others for
    recently deceased.
  27. the pews process
    Hands together for
    prayer. Knees down for reverence.
    All rise for singing.
  28. mostly on schedule
    This is the time when
    we eat. Then we go, come back,
    eat, sleep, then repeat.
  29. two moves ahead
    The queen will take the
    knight, so the rook must guard the
    king. Thus, victory!
  30. a messy situation
    It’s not hatred. It’s
    drama. With a capital
    D. No one will win.
  31. gag reel
    The comic paces
    2 feet left, then right. Boxing,
    but with jokes and jabs.
  32. they say it’ll go to a hunnert
    They say it’ll go
    to a hunnert, if’n we
    don’t melt before then.
  33. junior leaguers
    The kids on the hill
    care little for the ballgame
    as they romp freely.
  34. rosemary’s rub
    She grabs a branch of
    rosemary, if only to
    keep the scent nearby.
  35. creeping along
    The vines twist their way
    through the fence, heading upward
    along ensnared limbs.
  36. in our nature
    We start out roughly.
    We grow more comfortable.
    We complain anew.
  37. she beeped
    She beeps, and I smile,
    a surprise distraction from
    this day’s drudgery.
  38. test tube trial
    Pipette at ready.
    Burners on high. Let’s make some
    pharmaceuticals!
  39. be glad
    Be glad you’re not on
    fire. Or falling apart.
    Or crashing a car.
  40. heat indexed
    Eggs frying on the
    sidewalk. Friends sweating gallons.
    The dog is melting.
  41. last meal
    The inmate dines on
    rack of lamb, chewing his last
    bites of consciousness.
  42. go mad
    The manager called
    for better work, yet left it
    all to random chance.
  43. peace in
    Whatever happened
    to the quaint notion of peace
    among all people?
  44. drive-through nation
    One by one, they filled
    the cars with burgers and shakes
    and dry cleaning bags.
  45. fascinated eraser!
    (The best part about
    being ignored is saying
    whatever you want.)
  46. concert in the sun
    The performers filed
    out onstage, already hot,
    sweaty. Time to rock.
  47. the dark part of the brain
    A shadow grows in
    the cortex, banishing joy,
    hope, faith and progress.
  48. lowball
    No need to under-
    value yourself, when others
    will do it for you.
  49. loss of interest
    The new keeps popping
    up to replace the old, which
    used to be the new.
  50. chef concern
    The dinner menu
    was littered with typos most
    unappetizing.
  51. echo effect
    The lone voices can
    be heard when amplified by
    angry followers.
  52. sweat storm
    Fabric clings to skin
    with perspiration as glue.
    No rain, no relief.
  53. the yellow monster that devours children
    The yellow monster
    that devours children throws
    them back up at school.
  54. wanted: constable
    The streets aren’t safe. The
    homes, unprotected. Would a
    lawman scare off crooks?
  55. the trouble with being good
    Have folks forgotten
    how to be good? Or were they
    never so inclined?
  56. crickets in heat
    The nighttime chirping
    calls not for a mate, but for
    climatic relief.
  57. something to hawk
    Virtual corners
    let people pitch an endless
    loop of things to buy.
  58. glimpses of the future
    Coming soon: Some team
    wins title. New fall color.
    We all get fatter.
  59. a death in august
    Back to the country,
    over dusty roads they drive
    to go home and mourn.
  60. the things that make us stronger
    Assurance. Giggles.
    Kindness. Holding hands. Moments
    shared. Forgiveness. Love.
  61. the same
    Same shoes. Same house. Same
    coffee. Same schedule. Same route.
    Something needs to change …
  62. little touches
    She reaches over
    to unlock my door each time.
    My heart says thank you.
  63. cookies in the oven
    The bowls licked clean by
    an unseen sprite as the heat
    climbs in the kitchen.
  64. wadeslist
    Nothing for sale, just
    a long list of nagging ads
    for things to do now.
  65. perchance to ream
    The sharp tongue made a
    mockery of the once and
    prideful principal.
  66. too early for the club
    The sweeper takes one
    last lap, as the pretzel bowls
    become replenished.
  67. inside the furnace
    Weeks pass, and the heat
    subsides little by little
    for times autumnal.
  68. void of no response
    Call. No answer. Call.
    Voicemail. E-mail. No reply.
    Avoidance as game.
  69. the anonymous few
    To be unknown in
    a public age, suspect for
    remaining subtle.
  70. bad romance
    Time to go after
    one last kiss. Time to find the
    last one true soulmate.
  71. the world is really beautiful
    Beyond the madness,
    tears and wreckage, the world is
    really beautiful.
  72. sighs of indecision
    One breath means yes, two
    breaths mean no. But ongoing
    breaths mean confusion.
  73. the new anxiety
    The heart keeps racing
    long after the terror has
    subsided. Fear wins.
  74. unexpect the expected
    Persistence sometimes
    pays off, when it comes to love
    and nonstop tweeting.
  75. neat little piles
    Messiness can be
    overcome with scrubbing and
    stacking and fussing.
  76. at first, i was afraid, i was petrified
    Maybe the key to
    survival isn’t toughness
    but some perspective.
  77. it’s not a living
    The clock ticks down to
    5. Drones race to the parking
    lot. The clock ticks down.
  78. state of cool
    A breeze washes out
    the fetid miserable
    smell of a heat wave.
  79. rip it down
    Salvation comes from
    something untried, permission
    ignored, self-interest.
  80. hard peanut butter
    The jar holds one big
    clump, cold and unyielding, not
    ready for spreading.
  81. down, set, hike
    The gray stadium
    pulses with a thousand cheers
    for the boys below.
  82. freedom isn’t evil
    Let us share freedom
    not just with the world but with
    our own citizens.
  83. dogged
    She neither barks nor
    wags her nonexistent tail,
    just waits for some pats.
  84. up from the abyss
    The ocean pushes
    down on the diver trying
    to resurface, breathe.
  85. a deal with the maple tree
    Keep your leaves on, don’t
    litter them all over- rats.
    Time to get the rake.
  86. everyone gets a new beginning
    The 12th chapter can
    be the first chapter in the
    books we write today.
  87. fall fever
    Leaves of gold and orange
    and brown swirl madly around
    dancing happy souls.
  88. scrimmage
    Not a real play, but
    a practice run to be strong
    during a real play.
  89. a google of bloggers
    The most talkative
    open typists find themselves
    shy around others.
  90. wide open spaces
    Bulldozer brings in
    grass and trees and swings for all
    for a downtown park.
  91. from the ashes
    Spark, then flame. The old
    apathy burns away to
    leave seeds of promise.
  92. ratio of niceness
    A little selfish
    balances out with lots of
    generosity.
  93. company dismissed
    The call comes, and the
    voice sends everyone scrambling
    to print resumes.
  94. all things being equinox
    The egg won’t stand, no
    matter how much the earth wills
    it to. No balance.
  95. mischief managed
    Sneaky agents move
    to create havoc when the
    school bell signals class.
  96. phantom of the alabama
    The spirit of the
    theater ascends into
    the great balcony.
  97. city of tomorrow
    Moving sidewalks and
    transport tubes unneeded as
    long as we can walk.
  98. avatars irl
    It’s only awkward
    for a moment meeting those
    online pals for real.
  99. mixed symptoms
    It could be a cold.
    Or allergies, fatigue or
    pre-hibernation.
  100. louisiana blues
    The swamp engulfs all
    secrets, hides all outlaws, keeps
    mostly to itself.
  101. at a parking lot on third
    An angel strolls up
    in a familiar way in
    a strange setting.

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Wade’s 101: You’re so Birmingham if … (2010 Twitter version)

Friday, August 27th, 2010

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  1. The only political or social cause you’ve ever been involved with was to legalize stronger beer. (@david_carter)
  2. You can’t stop wishing corruption didn’t kill City Stages. #didanybody’schecknotbounce? (@sandybirmingham)
  3. You’ve never used public transportation in Birmingham. (@bwdaly)
  4. You go to a “meat n’ three” because someone said that they have “good vegetables.” (@rebecca_morrow)
  5. Your panhandler rides a nicer bike than yours. (@WadeOnTweets)
  6. You think Surin is a really nice restaurant. (@Iva4Gov)
  7. You’re a judge with a law degree from an unaccredited law school. (@bwdaly)
  8. You can do an impression of Bill Bolen saying “Momma.” (@bwdaly)
  9. You are sitting around trying to think up clever sayings for #You’reSoBirminghamIf. (@filamentartists)
  10. You say “Vulcan” and not “The Vulcan.” (@CreekRat)
  11. You’ve never lived in a real city and don’t understand how bad things are here. (@bwdaly)
  12. You used to drink beer at Norm’s. (@CreekRat)
  13. You grew up 30+ miles out in the suburbs, but still claim the ‘ham as your “hometown.” (@feralparakeet)
  14. You know the truth of Birmingham retail: If you can’t park and see it, the shop is unlikely to survive. (@politicalparlor)
  15. You’ve ever wanted to get the clippers after James Spann’s hair to shave that little center part off. (@StaceyHood)
  16. You bought your 205 jersey at a yard sale or Goodwill. (@WadeOnTweets)
  17. You voted for Ruben, Bo and Taylor. 🙂 (@sandybirmingham)
  18. You constantly tell people how awesome Birmingham is, even though you know it’s a lie. (@david_carter)
  19. You don’t know how to get over the mountain without using 65 or 31/280. (@bwdaly)
  20. You can drive from downtown to the Inverness Target without getting on 280. (@piercingwit)
  21. Anyone you ever elected went to jail. (@WadeOnTweets)
  22. You discussed how sad you were when the Stallions and the Fire folded, but you never went to a game. (@MellowBHAM)
  23. You wish the Iron Bowl was moved back to Legion Field. (@Iva4Gov)
  24. You’ve always wanted copies of the Legion Field lions to guard your driveway. (@theCapNdavid)
  25. You’re one of the badasses from @BAAMfest who proved you don’t need the city government to put on a successful festival. (@bwdaly)
  26. You have to fly through a hub in Atlanta, Memphis, Houston, etc. to get to the West Coast. (@Iva4Gov)
  27. You judge the severity of severe weather by how James Spann is dressed. (Coat off, sleeves up: Better pay attention!) (@kristenmstewart)
  28. You went to an all-white or all-black school. (@bwdaly)
  29. Your only political trope is race. (@bwdaly)
  30. You’ve ever heard slot machines described as part of the civil rights movement. (@chris_depew)
  31. You prefer faith to knowledge. (@bwdaly)
  32. You’ve had a supermarket checkout person refuse to sell you beer at 11:53 a.m. on a Sunday. (@messyepicure)
  33. You remember going to Century Plaza! (@briancauble)
  34. Your megachurch has its own ZIP code. (@WadeOnTweets)
  35. You’ve dressed up as a former Jefferson County commissioner for Halloween. (@UrbanPat)
  36. You confess to friends that your parents were racists … “but I’m not!” (@collirp)
  37. You pick a lunch place solely based on its dancing sign guy. (@WadeOnTweets)
  38. You have a favorite Mike Royer hairpiece. (@joey__t)
  39. You kill the messenger. (@bwdaly)
  40. You believe “progress” requires the destruction of our history. (@tbdcreativeinc)
  41. You don’t valet. (@Iva4Gov)
  42. You’ve moved out of the city, but still keep whining about its leaders. (@seankelley)
  43. The compass on your iPhone points toward Vulcan. (@andyspain)
  44. You have hope and work for change despite the naysayers. (@bikeskirt)
  45. You are so paranoid about what outsiders think you can’t laugh at your own expense. (@chris_depew)
  46. You drink Grapico and Buffalo Rock. (@Iva4Gov)
  47. The new Bass Pro Shops store is a destination for you. (@aathu)
  48. You look forward to seeing what Mickey Ferguson is going to do on Halloween! (@Iva4Gov)
  49. Your life was enhanced by Cecil Whitmire. (@bwdaly)
  50. You do that ghetto “Electric Slide” to every damn song. (@yendisak)
  51. You know not to read the comments on AL.com. (@Owsley9)
  52. You go off-roading on unpaved city streets. (@WadeOnTweets)
  53. You know Marty and Ona really well. (@aathu)
  54. You whine that criticism is part of the problem. (@bwdaly)
  55. You can’t find the humor in the negatives. (@filamentartists)
  56. You use Dale’s Steak Seasoning. (@Iva4Gov)
  57. You have no idea of the pernicious effect of college football on Alabama’s public university system. (@bwdaly)
  58. You remember seeing Survivor @WrightCenterSU. (@WrightCenterSU)
  59. You’ve known or met at least two people that have worked for EBSCO. (@rebecca_morrow)
  60. You whine about metro traffic but would never dream of taking a bus. (@AR_Kirby)
  61. Your favorite sports team is at the college level or below. (@khcreative)
  62. You pop a woody every time a new chain store or chain restaurant opens. (@bwdaly)
  63. You helped elect Larry Langford mayor without a runoff. (@bwdaly)
  64. You grew up wanting to live in the big city and ended up in Birmingham. (@WadeOnTweets)
  65. You recognize something good must be afoot, if the naysayers come out play. (@Owsley9)
  66. You wish the Birmingham Barons played more games at Rickwood (and actually in Birmingham). (@politicalparlor)
  67. You’d drive downtown for hockey but not to Hoover for baseball. (@WadeOnTweets)
  68. You’re generous. Birmingham is ranked as the most charitable city in the United States! http://bit.ly/aEiJXW (@alabamapossible)
  69. You have the front of Vulcan as your view instead of the butt. (@motionmind)
  70. You confuse tourists needing directions and say, “Follow me …” (@aathu)
  71. You know the steam table at Fife’s. Yum. #ILoveBirmingham (@Jerry_Griffies)
  72. You remember when Dreamland only had ribs, white bread and sauce. (@StaceyHood)
  73. You’ve ever spent a week’s pay on a tailgate party. (@chris_depew)
  74. Your political campaign has distributed flyers calling your opponent an Uncle Tom. (@bwdaly)
  75. You give and understand directions that are nothing but numbers: 31, 280, 459, 150, 119 … (@KnowTea)
  76. You write a blog post for @aldotcom about this hashtag. http://ow.ly/2vmWd (@KristenHeptin)
  77. You’re addicted to Milo’s sweet tea. (@aathu)
  78. You are a struggling freelancer. (@filamentartists)
  79. You learn that you and the person you just met have seven mutual acquaintances. (@AR_Kirby)
  80. Your “minister” was part of Richard Scrushy’s Amen Mafia. (@bwdaly)
  81. You miss Ollie’s barbecue. (@DrNemoJr)
  82. You have no sense of irony. (@bwdaly)
  83. Everybody in your circle is banging one another. (@yendisak)
  84. You think Pam Huff has been on TV for too long. (@aathu)
  85. Your parking meter is actually a sawed-off pole. (@WadeOnTweets)
  86. You are sick and tired of hearing the word “potential.” (@filamentartists)
  87. Your sewer bill could pay for clean drinking water for three African villages. (@sandybirmingham)
  88. Most of your tweets are about shopping. (@bwdaly)
  89. Everyone you know — grannies, hippies and pastors included — is in at least one football pool. (@chris_depew)
  90. You don’t tell your customers who you pull for in the Iron Bowl because you don’t want them to hold this against you. (@APPRAISALSOURCE)
  91. You have a favorite BBQ joint, sports talk show, hot dog place, high-grav brew and wing shack. (@WadeOnTweets)
  92. You had a dream last night featuring Jim Skinner. (I did.) (@bwdaly)
  93. Your former mayor is a shopping addict. And is now in jail. (@cmhallua)
  94. You only spend money in the Lakeview District drinking. (@aathu)
  95. You buy sweet tea at the grocery store. (@juliesenter)
  96. You’ve ever felt sick when you heard someone say “the neighborhood changed” and realized what they meant. (@glennybrock)
  97. You call Pam Huff “Ham Puff.” (@bwdaly)
  98. You have more square feet of TV than linear feet of books. (@bwdaly)
  99. You aspire to live in Hoover. (@aathu)
  100. You jus’ got you one o’ nem “tweeter pages.” (@aathu)
  101. You ignore the fact that most of the city’s population is poor and struggling, while you just care about lunch/bars/events. (@david_carter)

The full list of #YoureSoBirminghamIf tweets from Aug. 26, 2010.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 17

Monday, June 21st, 2010

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  1. down the looking glass
    More movies will use
    3D as gimmick, but need
    2D beforehand.
  2. rock star knitting
    Electric needles
    shred leather yarn into a
    bitchin’ Afghan shawl.
  3. an hour here, an hour there
    Folks may gripe about
    springing forward, yet they fall
    back on time-wasters.
  4. vast improvements
    Big changes afoot.
    Everything old must make way
    for up and coming.
  5. march missteps
    The tango of spring
    and winter, as each fights to
    lead across the land.
  6. beyond the edge of midnight
    Prowl the city streets
    looking for action, looking
    for some distraction.
  7. ice and hardwood
    Balls and pucks, dribbles
    and dekes, madness arrives in
    many forms this month.
  8. printemps, salut
    With the arrival
    of spring, the nose itches and
    aches. Damn allergies.
  9. mother nature’s prerogative
    Why not sunny and
    warm, followed by snow and rain
    and chills? Seasons change.
  10. one cure
    Easier to fix
    health care than the cancer of
    partisan rancor.
  11. dirty dreams
    The garden will be
    lush with vegetation and
    sweat from planting hands.
  12. plan for spring cleaning
    Throw away every
    thing. Done. Now the house is as
    clean as it can be.
  13. internal barometer
    Spring demands penance
    through sneezes and sniffles. An
    allergy humbles.
  14. strangers no more
    Banishment of the
    unfamiliarity
    begins with hello.
  15. school spirits
    Each sip enhances
    and also suppresses new
    alcohol knowledge.
  16. the south: a primer
    Sweet tea, hey y’all, fried
    foods, slow drawl, warm greetings, hot
    summers, bless your heart.
  17. work station, early monday
    The hallway remains
    quiet, even as the drones
    file in for the week.
  18. people are
    People are funny,
    warm, mean, cryptic, loving, true,
    hateful, rude, human.
  19. cutting your losses
    Some would rather hold
    on to a losing hand than
    fold and shuffle up.
  20. the unexpected
    The end of a long
    day brings not relaxation
    but a renewed hope.
  21. the talkative introvert
    The shy will speak, the
    dead will rise, and blood will pour
    from heaven’s earhole.
  22. an iPad for an iPad
    Uploaded on the
    holy e-tablet are the
    1010 commandments.
  23. a rabbit’s tale
    Eggs to hide, baskets
    to deliver. A bunny’s
    work is never done.
  24. egg-pocalypse
    Each still-hidden egg,
    a ticking time bomb rotting
    in its hand-dyed shell.
  25. a coy season
    Spring sometimes likes to
    hide herself between winter
    and summer, too cute.
  26. life is a game show
    Questions get harder.
    The prizes, bigger. No help
    from the audience.
  27. that’s how rumors get ended
    People will talk, but
    then someone actually
    listens. Game over.
  28. a day of tasks
    Somehow, it always
    gets done. Leftover items
    seem to disappear.
  29. this modern life
    Robot slave who takes
    out the trash and feeds the dogs
    and raps: Where are you?
  30. putting made easier
    Virtual greens on
    widescreens lie in wait for crowds
    of upscale gawkers.
  31. on two wheels
    The land zips by, but
    with a tactile breath. Helmet
    on, feet pedaling.
  32. stuffy
    Pollen-encrusted
    world keeps the nostrils clenched and
    the oxygen scarce.
  33. the sweet tea brigade
    Gallons of sugar
    water soothe on hot days. And
    then, the kidney stones.
  34. the ides of april
    Beware, for the day
    comes at a steep cost to tax
    cheats and laggards, too.
  35. unqualified but unabated
    The advice is free,
    even if the adviser
    is making it up.
  36. a night on the town
    A quick wave, a long
    conversation, a crushing
    handshake, a deep nod.
  37. a slight sizzle
    The tell-tale texture
    of a perfectly prepared
    lamb chop. A cook knows.
  38. circles
    Your circle and my
    circle intersect without
    subtracting ourselves.
  39. craft on demand
    Fast, good or cheap, pick
    three. No, wait. Pick two. Or pick
    one, cross your fingers.
  40. the puppy episode
    A floppy-eared, four-
    legged visitor heads your
    way with slobber, barks.
  41. spare the earth, spoil the parasites
    Nonstop assault on
    Mother Earth: matricide or
    just plain suicide?
  42. the end of days
    The time comes in a
    relationship when all that’s
    left is small goodbyes.
  43. at first, i was afraid
    I was petrified.
    It took all the strength I had
    not to fall apart.
  44. porch song
    Gazing upon the
    long stretch of highway, bare feet
    tickled by the breeze.
  45. services out of town
    The trunk is lightly
    packed with belongings and grief.
    Time to pay respects.
  46. sunset from the summit
    Never felt so close
    yet so far from God’s design
    trapped in this ballroom.
  47. every place is bridgeport
    Past the strip mall lies
    the former Walmart and the
    row of used car lots.
  48. parade of smarts
    The brains took turns at
    the mike to divulge what the
    world will look like soon.
  49. crude retort
    The sugar white sands
    cannot escape the oily
    wrath of poisoned tides.
  50. river rampage
    Music City drowns
    beneath stormy onslaught. The
    river runs through it.
  51. unanswered questions
    How did I get here?
    What’s it all about? Is that
    all there is? Why me?
  52. the happiest of wags
    Space dog careens through
    the den, sending poor earth cat
    into a tizzy.
  53. a pint for courage
    One more tug of beer,
    a sip and a gulp. Ready
    for trouble, as such.
  54. advice and insults, free today
    You should look into
    mutual funds, you slimy,
    brainless, lame asshat.
  55. and then the room started spinning
    Before the lights went
    out, the faces closed in and
    the sweat came pouring.
  56. the taco truck
    The oven has holes
    for the cooks to peek out from
    while frying themselves.
  57. stunned but not stunned
    Even at its worst,
    there’s still room to be surprised
    at a brand new low.
  58. losing the signal
    At one point, loud and
    clear. But since the storm, the line
    crackles with static.
  59. sails unfurled
    The dock but a speck,
    the ocean swallows us as
    we surge through the waves.
  60. if it weren’t for the last minute
    Deadline is far off,
    no need to panic. Except
    when it sneaks up fast.
  61. the yardstick
    Do we measure our
    worth against the past, against
    others or don’t count?
  62. tomato invitation
    The vines stretch for more
    room, expecting fruit to burst
    forth any day now.
  63. insurgency
    Rules are issued. They
    rebel. Lines are drawn. They cross.
    Top down. They fight back.
  64. social creatures
    Hiding in a cave
    is no match for venturing
    out into the light.
  65. guessing game
    Thoughts unspoken give
    first clues to internal gaps
    in the narrative.
  66. rib tickler
    Meat really shouldn’t
    fall off the bones. Otherwise,
    you’re stuck with just bones.
  67. pooch parade
    Down the lane, packs of
    dogs march to the beat of a
    thousand wagging tails.
  68. the joy of hex
    Place a curse upon
    the object of your disaf-
    fection. Stir, stir, stir.
  69. rectangular input
    Moving from screen to
    screen, absorbing images
    and words and content.
  70. sentimental, at times
    The faded dusty
    photo reveals a moment
    of pure tenderness.
  71. doused in chlorine
    Bobbing along in
    the deep end, dodging divers
    in cannonball mode.
  72. lessons in comic form
    Don’t try to kick the
    football. Don’t try too hard at
    work. Dennis? Menace.
  73. after lost
    Castaways stuck on
    weird island. Only hope for
    rescue is dying.
  74. the thin line between light and dark
    The winds blow. The rains
    fall. The line snaps. Thus ends our
    civilization.
  75. mutually assured disaffection
    The trust died when she
    lost faith and he kept fighting
    their reality.
  76. influence
    The office nerd has
    no say in the product launch
    but knows good pizza.
  77. dark water
    Hurry, gotta beat
    the traffic to the beach, where
    the oil awaits.
  78. t-shirts for me
    I’m the realest bitch
    you know. No-drama zone. Honk
    if you love silence.
  79. steady on
    The compass needle
    spins with drunken lurches, but
    the course remains true.
  80. posthumous honor
    For those who died in
    service, our feeble thank yous
    must suffice for now.
  81. if goldfish voted
    Not sure why they try
    to sway your vote just 10 feet
    from the polling place.
  82. balls and strikes
    The pitch. Foul tip. The
    pitch. Ball one. The pitch. Strike two.
    The pitch. Out at first.
  83. dairy patrol
    What equinox? The
    real summer starts when the ice
    cream truck jingles forth.
  84. waves of grains
    Hundreds of miles from
    the beach, still finding sand in
    shoes and cars and bags.
  85. counting fireflies
    Flashing blips poke the
    darkness straining to get in
    sync with each other.
  86. the flow of notes
    The saxophonist
    blares out riff after smooth riff,
    shades on the whole time.
  87. there is only try
    The odd thing about
    second chances? They can help
    remove all regrets.
  88. your guess is as bad as mine
    How do we handle
    conflict? Smoothly. How do we
    keep going? Blind faith.
  89. polished to perception
    The best manuscripts
    artfully hide a series
    of drafts and rewrites.
  90. hooky
    Run free. Escape the
    corporate dungeons for a life
    richer in mischief.
  91. the modern ghost
    The modern ghost haunts
    not rundown shacks or scary
    graveyards. He brings dread.
  92. a festival forgotten
    The park once teemed with
    teens and old folks in chairs till
    the money ran out.
  93. about a radish
    The oddball in the
    salad bowl has something to
    say, if only asked.
  94. patriotic cloth
    The fabric of a
    nation isn’t measured in
    stitches but people.
  95. the longest days
    Sweat forms the moment
    grownups step out to check if
    the lawn needs water.
  96. the shortest nights
    Repeat location;
    the crickets and fireflies
    transmit them in code.
  97. a cloak of civility
    Must the default be
    attack and denigrate? Or
    can we listen, too?
  98. house call
    The patient is in
    her pajamas, with an un-
    prescribed ice cream float.
  99. american voodoo
    If it happened, we
    didn’t do it. If we did
    it, pure accident.
  100. the corners in life
    The corners are cloaked,
    with a fist or a tiger
    or a dream in wait.
  101. dueling virtuosos
    Violin and flute
    aren’t foes, but bad notes sound out
    a different tune.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 16

Friday, March 12th, 2010

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  1. santa has severe type 2 diabetes
    Seriously, what
    did you expect from such a
    diet of cookies?
  2. parade of cubicles
    The stapler does not
    suffer from boredom. It moves
    often cube to cube.
  3. a gentle drift
    Eventually,
    the cold gave way to flurries
    descending darkly.
  4. the tradition
    Round up the fans to
    watch the game, drink beer, yell at
    the refs, root root root.
  5. a pancake kind of morning
    The house needs warmth. It’s
    a pancake kind of morning.
    Heat up the syrup.
  6. you better watch out
    Santa has turned on
    spyware and night vision to
    decide naughty, nice.
  7. predictions for the next decade
    Flying cars, yoga
    weddings, telepathic phones,
    wars without borders.
  8. a campaign without end
    The race starts anew.
    Someone will someday lead this
    town, but not this year.
  9. sent from above
    A squirrel has the
    run of the attic, keeping
    humans up at night.
  10. adventures at the online mall
    Hard to flirt with the
    virtual checkout girl when
    cart’s filled with doilies.
  11. no wonder
    Piling on the years
    slowly drains the wonder from
    a once bright outlook.
  12. post-modern sleigh ride
    Solar-powered sleigh
    comes with DVD player,
    espresso machine.
  13. crimson pride
    In tough times, a band
    of football crazies pins their
    hopes on Bama’s boys.
  14. a different kind of fun
    It’s a different kind
    of fun when the light goes on
    and teaching connects.
  15. fight on
    No one knows your pain
    but you. And still, you soldier
    on because you must.
  16. that was the decade that was
    War on Terror, Web
    2.0, reality
    TV, red/blue states.
  17. trickles and pours
    Drips and deluges,
    showers and sprinkles, water
    torture never ends.
  18. shopping in the closet
    Zip disks, notebooks, pens,
    souvenir cups, CDs, a
    melted candy cane.
  19. creature feature
    The day you forget
    makeup is the day you see
    friends at the movies.
  20. the case for steroids
    Man was meant to hit
    lots of home runs and bench press
    700 pounds.
  21. short days, long days
    Winter arrives on
    time, with the shortest days filled
    with the longest lists.
  22. the airing of grievances
    Mon ami, what a
    disappointment you’ve been. And
    how dreadful your frown.
  23. the good in all
    If for one day the
    world’s people can become good,
    let it never end.
  24. repeat the sounding joy
    The Lord is come! Let
    Earth receive her king. And hea-
    ven and nature sing
    .
  25. christmas was here
    Pine needles, stray bow,
    wrapping shards, gift receipts, tubs
    of leftovers, peace.
  26. roar in the back yard
    Metal monster sends
    leaves flying into messy
    piles with much thunder.
  27. tomorrow always dies
    The promise of a
    new 24 hours wears
    thin in just a day.
  28. the busiest street in town
    The busiest street
    in town sees a car or two,
    maybe a lost dog.
  29. till the very end
    The fireworks and
    black-eyed peas can’t wait for the
    calendar to change.
  30. a bad breakup
    I looked upon the
    passing year and decade with
    a hint of contempt.
  31. and now your moment of ’10
    Once bit10, 10der
    caress brings a sweet 10sion
    never forgot10.
  32. blades of gory
    The rink seems even
    bumpier when hugged at high
    speed along the ice.
  33. oh, frostbite
    Bitter cold punches
    warm-blooded Southerners right
    below Bible Belt.
  34. flaky threats
    They are coming, and
    nothing you do can stop the
    cruel snowy stampede.
  35. i wish it were colder
    Today, I wish it
    were colder. I can still feel
    my fourth toe and neck.
  36. supermarket sweep
    Blizzard forecast sends
    shoppers on rampage for the
    essentials: bread, milk.
  37. game prep
    Pace nervously, make
    comfort food, wear team colors,
    find a way to win.
  38. writ her name in crimson flame
    Fight on, men! Remem-
    ber the Rose Bowl, we’ll win then.
    Dixie’s football pride.
  39. the cupcake factory
    The little people
    frost their little cakes on a
    little wooden bench.
  40. the case of the missing afternoon
    It is enough to
    share the couch and watch TV
    mysteries for warmth.
  41. but it’s a dry cold
    Shivers and shakes, ice
    and chills. Winter has gone South
    for the, um, winter.
  42. after carson, before armageddon
    The Late Night Wars of
    ’10 began with Leno bomb
    planted in prime time.
  43. t-shirts unlimited
    Each event, group, run,
    slogan has been captured with
    another T-shirt.
  44. promise unfulfilled
    The people will be
    burned only so many times
    until they give up hope.
  45. help haiti
    Now is the time for
    the world to lend a hand to
    our Haitian neighbors
    .
  46. return of the bug
    Even after flu
    vaccine, cootie shot, body
    succumbs to sickness.
  47. habits
    Let’s do the same thing
    a thousand times because it
    takes little effort.
  48. a matter of service
    Do not expect good
    service until you give good
    service unprompted.
  49. rebooting birmingham again
    The reset button
    is faded and worn, having
    been used quite a bit.
  50. stains of history
    Swiftly the currents
    of events rush by, little
    understood for now.
  51. the 39th parallel
    Cross this border to
    see beyond the mists of youth.
    Gaze into more life.
  52. a dare-to-be-great situation
    Buy, sell or process?
    As long as you get paid a
    princely, tidy sum.
  53. no punching at the dinner table
    As satisfying
    as it could be, please refrain
    from feast fisticuffs.
  54. a reporter’s secret
    He never goes home,
    never stops calling, writes and
    rewrites with gusto.
  55. the road to success
    The road to success
    looks nothing like a highway.
    Yet the path is worn.
  56. a rush ahead to the blood
    Smell that? It’s the scent
    of a good story waiting
    to be told to all.
  57. oh, stop
    “Did you hear about
    Fred?” “Fred rules!” “What’s this I hear
    about Fred?” “Get him!”
  58. stronger than she looks
    I can tell her just
    about anything. She won’t
    buckle or break down.
  59. negotiations
    Not so much about
    the plans. Just about the way
    we woo each other.
  60. anywhere there’s cake
    Spongy rich inside
    with a healthy heaping of
    frosting. Milk? Gravy.
  61. the vapors
    Time to bring back the
    vapors, fainting spells and the
    phrase, “I do declare.”
  62. fate accompli
    We are headed to
    the cliff, unable to veer
    away or slow down.
  63. before there was cake
    Powdered sugar leaves
    a tell-tale trail along the
    kitchen countertop.
  64. under the blue tarp
    The bones rot away
    with each pissy rain cloud, hurt
    by frail shingled skin.
  65. keep digging that grave
    Ignorance becomes
    quicksand. Stubbornness becomes
    policy. No hope.
  66. the rehearsal
    It’s somewhat like a
    real performance, minus the
    eyes and time limit.
  67. made with real hummingbirds
    Every last crumb must
    be digested, lest the bak-
    er be offended.
  68. who dat?
    Who dat? Who dat? Who
    dat say dey gonna write dis
    verse? Who dat? Who dat?
  69. notepads and netbooks
    The students scribble
    rapidly on paper and
    pixels. Learn later.
  70. infinite wandering
    Imagination
    is a wonderful thing, till
    you need to focus.
  71. cookies for breakfast
    Taboo treats at the
    breakfast table not as nice
    as the company.
  72. mostly covered
    Mild winter on pause
    as celestial dandruff
    smothers the Deep South.
  73. the olympics of me
    Easy gold medal
    for me in spilling food on
    shirt, typos, napping.
  74. no tricks
    Infant child can’t talk,
    crawl, play trumpet, make dinner,
    write essays, not drool.
  75. cupid’s lament
    Even with many
    arrows on target, mortals
    desire comfort.
  76. a civilization of bureaucracy
    Mayans built temples.
    Egyptians built pyramids.
    We stack paperwork.
  77. the winter equation in dixie
    Mostly mild, with a
    chance of snow and ice, and some
    occasional warmth.
  78. insecurity risk
    The gray light of the
    kitchen reinforces a
    sense of aloneness.
  79. resolutions on, resolutions off
    The gyms, deserted.
    The credit cards, maxed way out.
    Resolved, not hardly.
  80. in the planning stages
    Clean out the closet,
    plan for vacation, smoke less,
    world domination.
  81. olympic dreams: brush with glory
    The disk sails down the
    rink, aimed with bristled intent
    at icy bull’s eye.
  82. olympic dreams: cavalcade on ice
    Hicks, clowns and native
    characters strap on skates to
    wow judges and fans.
  83. olympic dreams: ski, shoot, ski
    With rifles at the
    ready, skiers charge across
    snowy countryside.
  84. olympic dreams: good and bumpy
    Mogul minefield stands
    between agile skiers and
    medals podium.
  85. olympic dreams: i got my half-pipe
    Baggy gymnasts of
    the snowboards twist round and round,
    hanging in mid-air.
  86. olympic dreams: blue borders
    Exposed veins pulse with
    energy from the mountain
    as ants slide between.
  87. olympic dreams: down the frozen colon
    The track has a rep.
    The athletes have a mission:
    Steer straight, fast and true.
  88. olympic dreams: pucks unlimited
    Faceoff. Deke, shot, block.
    Icing, pass … fight! Penalty.
    Shot, shot, score! Horn! Roar!
  89. olympic dreams: vancouver mush
    A host city with
    too much warmth can’t keep much snow
    on the mighty slopes.
  90. at the holi table
    To enjoy the feast,
    you must prove your faith and wear
    a colorful face.
  91. a question of worth
    The lone monk used an
    abacus to calculate
    his worth before God.
  92. almost a blizzard
    When it snows three times
    in a season in the South.
    invest in long johns.
  93. peace be unto you
    Conflict breeds options.
    Fight back. Tuck tail. Induce guilt.
    Give in. Or just talk.
  94. the sin of defiance
    Be not sorry, proud
    jester, for your eternal
    reward is coming.
  95. step step glide
    They dance before a
    half-empty room, half-dressed, full
    of joie de vivre.
  96. heavier than previously thought
    The gold statue, an
    indicator not of true
    merit, but good hype.
  97. minimum flow
    The couch can only
    go so many ways in a
    room before it cries.
  98. the run
    Dawn comes, and out the
    door. Legs begin to churn back
    and forth down the street.
  99. adventure is out there
    Beyond the confines
    of daily routine is a
    world of grand mischief.
  100. need-to-know basis
    Lifelong learning starts
    with observing, then thorough
    questioning. Truth comes.
  101. under foot
    Culinary plans
    can falter when four-legged
    friend strolls through kitchen.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 15

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

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  1. notes from voltaire
    Life is a shipwreck,
    but we must not forget to
    sing in the lifeboats.
  2. relative insignificance
    A man can feel small
    next to a saint, who feels small
    next to a belief.
  3. pick a direction
    Turn left, then right and
    head for daylight. Soon, you will
    see an opening.
  4. the liberal lion sleeps tonight
    Teddy Kennedy
    gave life to public service
    so we don’t have to.
  5. smiling and wagging
    Pet me, says the hound
    on the patio. And we
    oblige the canine.
  6. traffic snarl
    Clogged lanes move inch by
    inch in never-ending race
    between points A, B.
  7. the days are getting shorter
    Impatient autumn,
    wait your turn. The unruly
    summer needs more time.
  8. football season: can you hear the roar?
    Can you hear the roar
    coming from across the quad?
    It’s time for kickoff.
  9. football season: dear coach
    Please take us to the
    national championship
    (or else, you’re fired).
  10. football season: all bets are on
    What’s the line on the
    game? Not that I want to bet
    or call my bookie.
  11. football season: painted chest dudes
    Noble collegians
    preen with school spirit on their
    fermented torsos.
  12. football season: hey ref
    Do you know why you
    suck? I shall tell you why. You
    suck because you suck.
  13. football season: sideline hazard
    When approached by the
    mascot, make no eye contact
    and don’t shake its hand.
  14. football season: yell, then yell some more
    The raging crowd roars
    its lusty approval as
    the team marches in.
  15. the naming of a decade
    The aughts? The naughts? The
    zeros? The oh-ohs? Decade
    ends in just four months.
  16. working world
    Overproductive,
    underpaid, stressed out, under
    deadline, over it.
  17. at the drive-in
    I declared my love
    over shakes and a burger,
    hold the mushiness.
  18. 09-09-09
    Dogs for dogging, hands
    for clapping
    . Birds for birding,
    and fish for fishing.
  19. hip to be unemployed
    Meet you at the bar
    for networking after some
    time at coffee shop.
  20. inconsolable souls
    Did we really just
    leave 9/11 victims
    without true justice?
  21. art in review
    How can so many
    artists spend so much time and
    yet produce such crap?
  22. impromptu sing-along
    We don’t start and end
    each others’ sentences. We
    belt out made-up tunes.
  23. the unhappiest place on earth
    What Walmart offers
    (besides low prices): show of
    human misery.
  24. courtesy of the love bandit
    A mysterious
    note appears: “Meet me in the
    bedroom, without pants.”
  25. kindness
    Look back, and see all
    who treated you with kindness
    when you weren’t looking.
  26. fizz
    The glass bubbles in
    anticipation. Lips to
    devour the drops.
  27. d-i-v-o-r-c-e
    A parting of the
    ways, man the lifeboats, let one
    man put asunder.
  28. wash away your sins
    The clouds formed the new
    sky, a torrential dome of
    unending downpour.
  29. the chosen ones
    Get gussied up, preen
    for the cameras, hear them pick
    other, cry inside.
  30. the fog
    Where is the coffee?
    Why is the alarm blaring?
    Morning comes too soon.
  31. wake up
    Wake up, world. Don’t you
    know there’s injustice and sin?
    (Like there’s always been.)
  32. last edition
    The presses rolled one
    last time, and the very last
    newspaperman left.
  33. poisoned from within
    The municipal
    halls were choked with false leaders
    lining their pockets.
  34. saw it in a movie once
    This dude swooped in and
    knocked out the villain, then made
    out with, like, three chicks.
  35. stale popcorn
    The rattling of the
    tough popped kernels goes well with
    the warm flat soda.
  36. restless audience
    They waited in line,
    they waited in seats. Start the
    movie already!
  37. march of the chairs
    The rolling chairs sped
    down the hallway, while folding
    chairs ambled along.
  38. beyond sleepy
    Eyelids remain at
    attention, desperately
    in need of at ease.
  39. weather that demands specific tops
    Air with a bite, light
    with a waxing crispness, and
    sweaters without holes.
  40. this play is just for us
    If we sit very
    still, the performance will keep
    us gripped in drama.
  41. things you learn
    How to tie your shoes,
    bake a pie, drive a car, kiss
    properly, feel good.
  42. trapped on a shuttle bus
    The route takes us no-
    where, yet it’s where we belong,
    looking out windows.
  43. yard warfare
    The yard next door has
    an abundance of leaves, which
    makes this yard pristine.
  44. mask of uncertainty
    Halloween costume
    rejects: Jacko, birther, swine
    flu, Larry Langford.
  45. the unblogged life
    The unblogged life is
    not worth tweeting, Socrates
    said via Facebook.
  46. in the grip of fall
    Art festivals, cool
    air, an abundance of dead
    leaves and Christmas sales.
  47. nature by night
    Silhouettes of trees
    form towering dancers. Dusk
    settles in for now.
  48. a little bit behind
    Later turns into
    next week, which becomes sometime
    eventually.
  49. the palace gourds
    A pumpkin for each
    table, a dancer for each
    stage. Cue the frolic.
  50. cutting smile
    Eyes of triangles,
    crooked nose, and a toothy
    sad grin carved by hand.
  51. all it takes
    All it takes is a
    look from you, a thoughtful gaze,
    a playful hug … (swoon).
  52. the obvious punchline
    Where is the dislike
    button? That’s what she said. I’m-
    ma let you finish.
  53. bundle of nerves
    Stomach a’quiver.
    Unable to sit or stand
    still. Peace of mind gone.
  54. an empty closet
    Hangers dangle on
    the rod, in a sad closet
    without her effects.
  55. the unfinished haiku
    The grand poet took
    up his quill with a flourish
    but came up short
  56. that was the whole of her sermon
    Only connect the
    prose and the passion, and both
    will be exalted.
  57. the bells have stopped ringing
    The standing army
    of one-armed bandits take cash
    as muted beggars.
  58. introvert’s delight
    Learning to reach out,
    then finding a dark hole to
    climb in and recharge.
  59. last on the tarmac
    Luggage comes spilling
    out from the steel belly, glad
    to be home at last.
  60. timed travel
    Two hours forward,
    90-minute delay. Flight
    breaks late barrier.
  61. fiction-finding mission
    Among the bogs and
    swamps, intrepid children looked
    for minotaur eggs.
  62. feats of moderate human strength
    When it comes to doors —
    elevator, revolving —
    he has leverage.
  63. fortunes on the field
    All eyes from the stands
    and from living rooms were glued
    to the final play.
  64. pick up the pieces
    Love endures, despite
    aches and despair and baggage
    and fear and hardship.
  65. city in two
    City of progress
    or site of urban decay.
    A mayor on trial.
  66. deck the haunted halls
    Any decor plans
    beyond orange/black scheme, fake webs
    and witches and ghosts?
  67. political thievery
    A crook stole more than
    just the county’s wealth. He stole
    our trust and goodwill.
  68. the horizon within reach
    A new day, a new
    chance to clear out old tactics
    and lift Birmingham.
  69. birmingham renewed: baby steps
    Who we are as a
    city comes not from who leads
    but who does the work.
  70. birmingham renewed: exorcising ghosts
    Are we haunted? Must
    we fear those who would corrupt
    this town for their gain?
  71. country song 2009
    She done defriended
    me on Facebook and tweeted
    me for the last time.
  72. all souls’ day
    They came for a stay,
    to check on those not ready
    yet for their last trip.
  73. daylight saving redux
    Would it be OK
    to get an extra hour
    of sleep, clock keepers?
  74. what do you want to hear?
    I’ll tell you what you
    want to hear. But only if
    you listen closely.
  75. birmingham renewed: the reins
    The reins are tattered,
    yet still tethered to horses,
    strong but unguided.
  76. birmingham renewed: let’s undo something
    The mistrust, the lies,
    the hopelessness, the rancor,
    the path to nowhere.
  77. birmingham renewed: smash cynicism
    Begone, cynics and
    sycophants. Let us begin
    with true dialogue.
  78. birmingham renewed: vulcan says
    The god of the forge
    leapt from the mountaintop to
    keep watch from up close.
  79. birmingham renewed: what we have
    Good people, good food,
    stubbornness, sense of humor
    and stories galore.
  80. gobbler holocaust
    Somewhere, in the pens,
    struts a turkey who’ll be my
    Thanksgiving repast.
  81. forgotten wars
    We sometimes forget
    those conflicts that kept us free,
    and those who fought them.
  82. the old-timers
    The old-timers sit
    and chuckle in their booths each
    and every morning.
  83. think bigger
    Do not dwell on what
    has been done, what has “worked,” but
    go forth with gumption.
  84. the saddest pup in the world
    Don’t think you can con
    me out of dinner bites. I
    see your tail wagging.
  85. among the ruins
    Among the ruins
    of the decaying forest
    lurked the rogue possum.
  86. fulfillment
    Fulfillment is warm,
    clean laundry, walking along
    with the one, deep breaths.
  87. brisk
    The wind whips up, as
    if to show who’s in charge while
    autumn takes its hold.
  88. let out a woo hoo
    Let out a “Woo hoo!”
    when something goes right, when you
    feel like making noise.
  89. vampire weekend
    They live off blood and
    apparently fervored teen
    girl adulation.
  90. wish list for mayor
    Good ideas, some
    common sense, vision, fiscal
    stewardship and charm.
  91. home stretched
    Moments of silence
    deafen the fields of high school
    teams out of playoffs.
  92. slowly the leaves turn
    Too much water, not
    enough water, and the leaves
    go pale without fail.
  93. visions of cranberries
    The table is set.
    Soon, Tom Turkey will bring feasts
    to all good children.
  94. you may say
    I’m a dreamer. I’m
    not the only one. I hope
    someday you’ll join us.
  95. the view from the shore
    From rude beginnings,
    a prosperous, kind, violent
    nation came to be.
  96. the iron bowl in 17 syllables
    Tradition, empty
    malls, rivalry, crimson white,
    orange blue, braggin’ rights.
  97. just a little more effort
    Some more writing here,
    some more cleaning all around.
    Who needs any sleep?
  98. unable to escape its melody
    Over and over
    the piano sounds out the
    notes heard just by me.
  99. chat away
    Type your sentiments
    on a tiny window in
    a phosphorous screen.
  100. so much good stuff
    Don’t be surprised by
    so much good stuff. Be alert:
    Catch it in advance.
  101. make the season bright
    Head down the street to
    reward neighbors with an off-
    key Christmas carol.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 14

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

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  1. welcome to the neighborhood
    It is the hour
    when children devour, lawns
    are cut, and we walk.
  2. motivated to stall
    The deadline looms, yet
    the work pile remains. Maybe
    motivation soon.
  3. anywhere a classroom
    Wherever a thirst
    for knowledge, a font appears
    to quench with wisdom.
  4. (more…)

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 13

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

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  1. a flaw in weather technology
    Who ever heard of
    meteorological
    seasonal rodent?
  2. 140 characters at a time
    I joined Twitter at
    long last, but now I won’t have
    time to surf Friendster.
  3. a little too frosty
    When you can see your
    breath with your eyes closed, it’s way
    too cold to exhale.
  4. (more…)

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 12

Sunday, February 1st, 2009
  1. the eerie quiet
    After the crater,
    an unspoken wake begins,
    to pay our respects.
  2. uncool beans
    Sitting in Starbucks
    makes me smell like burnt coffee
    long after I leave.
  3. ponderings on mid-life
    It was then his life
    had spun out of control, a
    hopeless wreck of dreams.
  4. (more…)