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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 33

Saturday, November 29th, 2014

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  1. divided by perspective
    Who needs alternate
    universes? Damn alter-
    nate realities.
  2. someone stole all the magazines
    The waiting room had
    nothing to read, save for some
    pamphlets and blank forms.
  3. talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
    The faces emit
    chattering sounds in place of
    any kind of news.
  4. suspicious minds
    Conniving strangers.
    Or paranoia. Suspects
    and clues everywhere.
  5. the spelling of katz
    The “g” is silent,
    while the “ei” is pronounced
    “aye.” Is that so hard?
  6. putting us through our paces
    Walking becomes a
    statistic for the mainframes.
    They watch every step.
  7. inspiring words
    “The rent’s due today.”
    “The boss would like to see you.”
    “We’ve nothing to lose.”
  8. everyone sweats
    Picture of this guy
    sweating, this lady sweating,
    everyone sweating.
  9. the options of a consumer society
    Aisles of colors and
    sizes and brands and options
    to bloat the landfill.
  10. dali’s smartwatch
    His conception of
    time warped with the urgency
    of the text message.
  11. the last pitch
    The mascot danced in
    place. The ballboys collected
    their gear. The crowd stood.
  12. wages within
    The value of work
    rises and falls, not with the
    times but with the souls.
  13. a heads-down classroom
    Bored kids roll their eyes
    at the feast of knowledge, left
    to their devices.
  14. the no-boil death trap
    The microwave lies
    in wait for a pure liquid
    and countless minutes.
  15. the heaviest lifting
    Outrage is easy.
    But channeling it into
    action is better.
  16. the voices of eternal radio
    He spoke to unseen
    masses about unexplored
    ideas unbound.
  17. a storm delayed by atmospheric detours
    The rain should be here
    by 3 o’clock, then 4, but
    no later than 6.
  18. a trip to the doughnut shop
    Every case had pink
    and blue and brown and tan and
    frosted confections.
  19. remembering the crew of wwii
    He poured out a few
    ounces of Metamucil
    for his dead homies.
  20. sunsets unlimited
    The passing of fads,
    the withering of circles,
    more will take their place.
  21. the longest distance
    The longest distance
    is between the promise and
    the consummation.
  22. patriot acts
    Spying on our own
    citizens. Attacking non-
    violent protestors.
  23. paddle royale
    The oldest players
    in the world square off on the
    smallest court ever.
  24. the petty joys
    Letting doors close on
    an elevator. Snagging
    the last doughnut. Whee.
  25. hands like lightning
    Every time he clapped,
    a bug lost its wings, their flight
    grounded with applause.
  26. the next step
    The next step can be
    down the beach or off a cliff
    or back to safety.
  27. tickled by words
    Bon mots can make for
    guffaws and wide eyes, even
    chest thumps and re-reads.
  28. the patron saint of empires
    St. Sterling brought forth
    new commerce, and the people
    bankrupted themselves.
  29. some ones and super zeroes
    Binary problems:
    It works or it don’t; advance
    or remain in place.
  30. mother nature whispers
    She sends her regards
    for a resplendent autumn
    with a cooling breeze.
  31. all thumbs
    In the digital
    age, are we our devices
    or mere bags of flesh?
  32. a cut above
    She gave up her locks
    so others could cover their
    naked scalps with love.
  33. the publishers on strike
    The authors moved on
    to their Kindle singles and
    handcrafted ebooks.
  34. the stockbrokers’ almanac
    Unseasonably
    bullish, with periodic
    gusts of price fixing.
  35. the batman i know
    A billionaire with
    a strong work ethic and an
    insomniac’s bent.
  36. an unnatural smile
    The soul nor the lips
    were willing to take part of
    a facial charade.
  37. last chance for romance
    Intimacy led
    to contempt. They knew too much
    to ever go back.
  38. the empty coffin
    He faked his own death,
    but even worse, he faked his
    own life for nothing.
  39. abraham lincoln visits the future
    Emancipation
    worked out well, but what’s with the
    expensive coffees?
  40. raining after work
    Inspiration passed
    my bus stop several times, but
    my ride never came.
  41. glory whole
    The hollow pursuit
    of fame befits its Gen Y
    gang of aspirants.
  42. gourd a more perfect union
    Pumpkin in my beer.
    Pumpkin in my coffee. Food
    mashups should be squashed.
  43. expediency in the working world
    Better to ask for
    forgiveness than to obtain
    permission before.
  44. streams of consciousnesses
    The flow of jumbled
    thoughts and half-truths sputtered to
    more nonstop drivel.
  45. the voyage to a new port
    He left the shore with
    no cares, sailing toward home with
    the promise of kin.
  46. slipping degrees
    A slight chill and a
    few goose bumps settle in as
    winter looms closer.
  47. no guilt, just pleasure
    How lovely are the
    simple sweets of our youth when
    shared over some tea?
  48. zombie or not zombie
    A nation forged by
    exhaustion, expectations
    and excesses. (Yawn!)
  49. mash note 404
    He declared his love
    in a beautiful text that
    was stuck in the cloud.
  50. sisterly city envy
    What they have, we want.
    What they struggle wi/we mock.
    What they do, we shun.
  51. the girl in the third row far left
    Her magnetic smile
    kept me going through the lulls
    and hiccups. Thank you.
  52. the essence of hope
    The last chocolate chip.
    The text message saying yes.
    The sun settling down.
  53. faces of dearth
    What is the correct
    emoji for “indifferent
    with a side of guile”?
  54. b and b and be
    The morning started
    with hot coffee, warm muffins
    and birds flying south.
  55. the insecure confessions
    They would reveal their
    disorders and bank accounts
    to faux confidantes.
  56. the orphaned lot
    The weeds had free reign
    till the suburban posse
    got them evicted.
  57. hills mountains crossings bluffs ridges biomes
    A strip mall can go
    practically anywhere with
    the right greased pockets.
  58. metaphysician, heal thyself
    What if all of the
    hypochondriacs are right
    and placebos kill?
  59. charms with every breath
    He would take the page
    and transform it into a
    symphony of speech.
  60. how much longer till candy and costumes?
    Children everywhere
    (and a few adults) gave up
    on sleep for tricks, treats.
  61. panic waits waits waits attacks
    You will be sitting
    quietly, when the earth shakes
    and the mind screams pain.
  62. the shadow of asclepius
    She took notes on the
    doctor’s notes and patient’s notes,
    all for paperwork.
  63. ask me anything
    Questions get answers.
    False assertions get steamed looks.
    Come ons get sly grins.
  64. breaking, the surface
    Nothing will ever
    be more important than how
    celebrities look.
  65. as if by magic
    The hurried touch-ups,
    the sweat and fret, it all seems
    as if by magic.
  66. squashed plans
    The Great Pumpkin will
    skip visits this year out of
    fear of ebola.
  67. the laziest weekend
    It begins with a
    24-hour nap and
    then another one.
  68. a sense of a sense of humor
    Eyebrow raised, smirk, smile,
    bigger smile, tiny laugh, a
    chuckle, belly laugh.
  69. it takes a cabal of strangers
    Ills of postmodern
    society can be traced
    to isolation.
  70. the sugariest treat of all
    Little did the ghouls
    expect a gallon of sweet
    tea poured in their sacks.
  71. the cracks
    Society runs
    as long as we overlook
    daily mistreatment.
  72. costume drama
    No one knows who you
    are, and yet everyone knows
    who you want to be.
  73. but everyone was thinking football
    Turkeys to stuff, fall
    festivals to run, sweaters
    to air, leaves to rake.
  74. the power of check boxes
    Mark a box, then one
    more. Fill in enough and you
    have democracy.
  75. the book on the nightstand
    The ideas on
    the pages collect dust while
    the reader keeps on.
  76. who will untangle the strings?
    Corruption and lies,
    theft and disenfranchisement,
    crimes left to crooks.
  77. annual down time
    The white blood cells tell
    the rest of the body to
    pack it in this week.
  78. more of the same
    Status quo as a
    platform and candidate wins
    even in harsh times.
  79. twenty-first century luddites
    Dial-up connection
    and a tendency toward
    manual gear shifts.
  80. a proper shade of despair
    She would stare at the
    broken moon and wonder if
    her piece had been claimed.
  81. the hyphen is a long series of distractions
    Games, humming, drinking,
    gossip, snacking, doodling, texts,
    reality shows.
  82. man vs. machine
    The last man in the
    world still had to think up an
    eight-letter password.
  83. limb from limb
    Soldiers come home in
    pieces, broken by bombs. We
    owe more than one day.
  84. what can’t be unseen
    Of all the world’s vast
    horrors, none offends more than
    willful ignorance.
  85. urban pictionary
    They captured rooftops
    and skylines for digital
    posterity’s sake.
  86. the feast almost at hand
    Get those waistbands loose
    and those jawbones warmed up for
    gluttonous gorging.
  87. pain without a face
    Not even a twitch
    betrayed the agony of
    brutal depression.
  88. almost midnight at the doughnut shop
    Clumps of teenagers
    dance, rap, tweet, giggle and fool
    around while in line.
  89. a representative will be with you momentarily
    A third of our lives
    is spent asleep, a third on
    the phone with support.
  90. huddled and cozy
    No bitter wind can
    strip warmth from this campfire
    as we gasp at stars.
  91. both liberating and alienating
    No one is thinking
    about you. And no one is
    thinking about you.
  92. inside time for rex
    The mutt padded in
    and plopped down on the kitchen
    floor, safe from the cold.
  93. the slice at the end of the meal
    Pie is good, pie is
    kind, pie doesn’t judge, pie gives
    joy, pie renews faith.
  94. head bugs on a king-size mattress
    His anxieties
    crept into bed with him and
    took all the blankets.
  95. the age of design and wonder
    Roaming vacuums clean
    our floors while Christmas lights flash
    in synch with Dokken.
  96. be less literal
    A wordy world of
    similes and metaphors
    slams into orbit.
  97. the rigors of turkey day
    Thankfulness, and then
    consumption. Slothfulness, then
    consumption again.
  98. oppression 101
    Government-sanctioned
    violence. Protests. Arrest? Trial.
    “Not guilty.” Repeat.
  99. so many thanks
    Do not struggle with
    gratitude but let it seep
    in with every breath.
  100. black friday remainders
    A 3 a.m. start
    puts you behind only by
    a day or two, tops.
  101. pistols in triple overtime
    Half the state would like
    to crush the other half and
    feeling’s mutual.

• • •

Bonus haiku in “To the nines: Wade on Birmingham’s ninth anniversary.”

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magnetic fridge poetry

Photo: Steve Johnson (CC)

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 32

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

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  1. the road traveled but worth another pass
    Two roads diverged in
    a yellow wood, but one had
    better scenic views.
  2. a loss of productivity
    A nickel here, an
    extra page there, it all adds
    up to lost minutes.
  3. ice ice babies
    Anna and Elsa
    love and shove like sisters who
    seem more cool than cold.
  4. on the clock
    Time to fit in three
    bullet points, two punchlines and
    a moral lesson.
  5. make way for summer
    The green carpet rolls
    out, lined with daffodils and
    squirrel attendants.
  6. how we learned to do everything
    Scratch head, search Google,
    watch YouTube video, try,
    watch again, success!
  7. a storied life
    Every bad outcome,
    every impossible risk,
    every passion dared.
  8. off the charts
    Should we explore deep
    space, the ocean’s trenches or
    within human minds?
  9. our flour of need
    The generation’s
    greatest minds worked on ways to
    make foods gluten-free.
  10. under a toss of the mortarboard
    The gown, meant to be
    worn but once, hides eagerness
    and hesitation.
  11. wearing trucker hats marked scoop
    Infinite monkeys
    typed on infinite smartphones
    for finite paychecks.
  12. in the name of doing business
    A round on the links,
    a midday doubleheader,
    an afternoon flick.
  13. motives and machinations
    It’s the journey, not
    the destination, unless
    it’s domination.
  14. keep earth weird
    Invaders came to
    conquer, but could find no one
    to follow their ways.
  15. security in defense of liberty
    Are we too willing
    to sacrifice freedoms that
    they gave their lives for?
  16. long weekend hangover
    Not ready for the
    gri/for sorting through email
    or fighting traffic.
  17. snappy dialogue
    They bantered with the
    ease of perfect diction and
    melodious barbs.
  18. a mind is a terrible thing
    Think, think, overthink.
    Analyze, paralyze, churn.
    Burn, fall apart, burn.
  19. the one-eyed bully and the frizzy kitten
    They are the oddest
    couple, one patiently on
    gua/one so feisty.
  20. to dream of bagels
    The bakery is
    open always while she sleeps,
    filled with scents divine.
  21. passengers optional
    The self-driving car
    asked the GPS how to
    run underwater.
  22. flours in the pantry
    All-purpose, pastry,
    cake, whole wheat, self-rising, bread,
    bleached and organic.
  23. howling at the sun
    The summer of our
    discontent cooked us ever
    slowly by degrees.
  24. let the machine do it
    Washing dishes and
    clothes, mowing, microwaving,
    vacuuming, driving.
  25. placebo pushers
    They do nothing at
    all, except what you can dream
    up in dementia.
  26. binding book
    Extra chapters at
    bedtime are worth the morning
    bleariness and ache.
  27. modern premise
    Mobster sees a shrink.
    Plane crashes on an island.
    Shows made to be streamed.
  28. down the stretch they come
    Mighty steeds run in
    circles. Jockeys hang on for
    glory and money.
  29. a centering breath
    Slowly the heart calms
    as serenity becomes
    inescapable.
  30. millennials’ movement
    Doubt them, stand in their
    way, but know that they’re on a
    date with destiny.
  31. salvation on i-65
    The sign stood as a
    warning: “Go to church, or the
    devil will get you.”
  32. the flash
    Blink. Blink blink. Darkness
    interrupted by coded
    missives between bugs.
  33. fated to meet cute
    The absurdist pair
    miss each other till, upon
    finding y’all, connect.
  34. worn smooth
    Smudges of red clay
    marked where he had toiled for
    sweat and a pittance.
  35. creators and destroyers
    Intense labor and
    heart and soul for years to build.
    One mean thought to wreck.
  36. pour, sip, repeat
    End the day with a
    cocktail or glass of wine and
    hope for tomorrow.
  37. a casual slip
    Strolling becomes a
    stumble, leading to a cast
    and a long summer.
  38. the man of the moon
    He reflects a bright
    notion of community
    and technology.
  39. the gulf of comedy
    She tried to lighten
    the mood, but managed only
    to make it awkward.
  40. a mighty sunset
    The start of summer
    ends with a brilliant pastiche
    of outrageous skies.
  41. reunion at the library
    Minivans clogged the
    parking lot. The disparate
    tribes huddled inside.
  42. a love song like many others
    Whenever their song
    played, they stopped, looked into each
    other’s eyes and laughed.
  43. signed language
    “Bless your heart” was the
    most polite middle finger
    she’d ever given.
  44. circular flow
    Once inside, drivers
    loop themselves. They just wanted
    to make a left turn.
  45. the streetcar sophisticate
    Rider of the rails,
    denizen of the trolleys,
    stalwart commuter.
  46. a forehead-shaped dent
    The gentle bonk of
    cranium on cinder peals
    up and down the wall.
  47. driving through drizzle
    Wipers on, wipers
    off. Enough rain to keep cars
    sliding toward death.
  48. care is a four-letter word
    It takes energy,
    focus, consistency and
    time to show you care.
  49. a quality of life
    Perhaps it’s not a
    question of lifestyle but a
    matter of choices.
  50. before intermission
    The plot crescendos
    to a confrontation. The
    ushers open doors.
  51. the scrawl of a former man of letters
    Gnarled figures engraved
    on dusty parchment, rough and
    barely legible.
  52. hot and bothered
    Craft beer or ice cream?
    Lazy stream or swimming pool?
    Fan or windows down?
  53. the country, undiscovered
    She rushed in to fix
    the unfixable, but could
    not bear the stillness.
  54. the definition of a patriot
    It’s OK to love
    America, but not love
    lov-v-v-v-v-ve America.
  55. anti-anti-anti-hero
    Coming to save the
    day, not for humanity,
    but for avarice.
  56. new southern fragrances
    Barbecue pork, red
    clay, honeysuckle, crawfish
    boil, shotgun smoke.
  57. repainting the soul
    A fresh coat would at
    least cover up the rust spots
    and hide all the mold.
  58. languid repose
    The lumpy couch, the
    unmade bed, really any
    napping place would do.
  59. the unintended spring
    Asphalt wet with a
    leak. Precious water wasted
    straight to the sewer.
  60. her birthday came and went
    A once special day
    had become another date
    on the calendar.
  61. summer school dropout
    If it’s too nice a
    day for class in April, it’s
    a crime in July.
  62. viral
    The celebration
    of the unworthy in an
    unironic sense.
  63. running of the bulldogs
    Around the corner
    and down the hallway to the
    big bowls of kibble.
  64. pie à la road
    They would drive miles for
    pie, then drive more miles homeward
    discussing said pie.
  65. creatures of habitual offense
    Why change, or even
    pretend to change, when we all
    know we share one fate?
  66. the unadorned bard
    Poetry is a
    dead end. Perhaps a lute or
    a beret would help.
  67. tees for mes
    “Haiku is my life.”
    “I’m the realest bitch you know.”
    “My eyes are up here.”
  68. square feet squared
    The tiny house grew
    room by room, floor by floor, to
    be a McMansion.
  69. the nine
    They sit in judgment,
    among us but above us,
    the law in their hands.
  70. the potato salad express
    They inched forwa/with
    hunger pangs and nostrils full
    of sweet hickory.
  71. the ground is leaking
    The broken pipe let
    out a gurgling cry for help
    to the blacktop street.
  72. every ice cream topping in the world
    The bowl could barely
    hold the sprinkles, cereal,
    chocolate chips and nuts.
  73. shoe ’nuff
    The ladies smiled while
    sneaking glances at footwear,
    going toe to toe.
  74. the past in prose
    The bygone eras
    won’t stay dead as long as new
    authors need fodder.
  75. romance 2014
    The phone stays off the
    entire evening, leaving
    room for flirty looks.
  76. remedial dreams
    Test day comes without
    warning or preparation
    for decades after.
  77. their own private fairway
    They chased each other
    for half an hour in spin
    class, then closed the deal.
  78. homo simpletons
    In case we are a
    genetic dead e/let us
    devolve with honor.
  79. sterile railways
    So much for haggard
    vagabonds looking to hop
    a train to nowhere.
  80. board of misdirectors
    The cause became a
    nuisance. Service became an
    internal matter.
  81. she steps to conquer
    Her pace relaxes
    as her hips sync to the beats
    of the sultry night.
  82. a summer of fun in mere days
    Casual freedom
    turns to a rushed affair of
    time-sensitive glee.
  83. ice cream truck 2014
    Craft bourbon ripple
    bought with bartered vintage socks.
    Deafheaven on loop.
  84. like a boss
    A usurper of
    attention, a haunter of
    dreams, a foe of all.
  85. bug tussles
    Winged electrons swirl
    around a head nucleus,
    fission for a fight.
  86. beginner foxtrot
    The count stayed in his
    head, even as he shunned small
    talk and stepped on toes.
  87. three-act haiku
    They met one evening.
    He would stay with her always.
    She left him for Death.
  88. the anti-joy club
    She was troubled by
    the petty and the pissy.
    She kept them hidden.
  89. super normal
    Old comic books as
    screenplays? Too trendy. Time for
    haiku-driven scripts.
  90. the ritual of friday night
    Park, not too early,
    at the Hardee’s. Honk at friends,
    and ogle the girls.
  91. seeing i to i
    I sometimes use I,
    but merely in the sense of
    the literary.
  92. rounds on the floor
    Drunk in bed one, head
    wound with seizures in bed two,
    car crash incoming.
  93. shy-ku
    Even as a long-
    standing poet, he choked on
    the right words for her.
  94. the internet is my physician
    I found my syndrome
    online and asked my Facebook
    friends how to treat it.
  95. ferguson
    A town divided:
    an oppressive regime and
    wary citizens.
  96. come on, rise up!
    Boarded-up windows,
    the empty streets, while my broth-
    er’s down on his knees.
  97. a house of broken parts
    The doorknob gives up.
    The faucet cries endlessly.
    The thermostat fries.
  98. the beggar at the pumps
    The gas started its
    flow, then he’d pop up looking
    for a quick handout.
  99. ring girls
    Their hoops kept a tight
    orbit ’round their gyrating
    lattitudes all night.
  100. jupiter at 500 feet
    Visibility:
    none. Crushing pressure, intense
    heat, twisting forces.
  101. branching off
    A new life comes with
    each new abode, job, partner,
    friend and decision.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 31

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

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  1. the thermal pendulum
    Super cold. Then warm.
    Super cold. Then warm. Super
    cold. Then warm. Harsh month.
  2. everything mustn’t go
    … but leave behind the
    memories, good and bad, as
    well as our next dreams.
  3. will the groundhog see his shadow at halftime?
    And will that mean 6
    more weeks of spectacular
    music and football?
  4. causes for celebration, february edition
    Groundhogs, presidents,
    black historical figures
    and Cupid’s mayhem.
  5. a confession in ones and zeroes
    He stared at the screen,
    the screen stared back into his
    soul. End transmission.
  6. live broadcasts from early cosmology
    Every corner of
    the galaxy repeated
    its cry, “We are here.”
  7. slice patrol
    The chef’s knife zipped though
    mountains of potatoes and
    onions. Prep with pep.
  8. the bleat goes on
    Her pronouncements had
    an air of self-absorption,
    with no room to grow.
  9. roster of flags
    The countries sign in,
    one by one, before they try
    to crush each other.
  10. a subtle negotiation
    “How’s this date?” “Can’t do
    it.” “Are you free Friday?” “Yes,
    just at 2 a.m.”
  11. cardiopreliminary resuscitation
    They found each other
    and dusted off their hearts for
    synchronization.
  12. the ire next time
    The outside world lost
    its blanket of snow to be
    bathed anew in rain.
  13. the frozen south
    Highways of ice, fields
    of frost, school yards and parking
    lots bereft of life.
  14. a valentine to mother nature
    I’d give flowers and
    chocolate, but take this bread and
    open milk instead.
  15. les mots justes
    Amour when feeling
    classy, lusty when feeling
    lusty, make hearts swell.
  16. psyche drama
    A secret buried
    so deep, she felt it stab her
    kidneys when she stood.
  17. sunday schooling
    The children sat in
    a circle of chairs to ask
    their questions on God.
  18. territorial
    Accumulate, then
    label. Vigilantly keep
    all from others’ grasp.
  19. colors of the windup
    Colors mark causes,
    symbolize struggles. What hue
    aids colorblindness?
  20. the muse in retreat
    The muse found a spot
    far from the worries of her
    coterie and wrote.
  21. stalemate at the entrance
    Both held open the
    door. Both waited to let the
    other one go first.
  22. the negotiation
    The figure on the
    slip of paper brought out beads
    of sweat, tears of joy.
  23. couch to 0k
    Warmup for couch takes
    bit of stretching and pillow
    fluffing before nap.
  24. the quiet of tornado season
    No more cars on ice
    or supermarket riots
    or canceled school days.
  25. back to the gym
    After the fanfare
    and flights home, early morning
    runs and weightlifting.
  26. with knowing abandon
    Into an abyss
    of delight and mystery
    they leapt gracefully.
  27. hiding from hungry vagabonds
    They sent their change-of-
    address cards to everyone
    but the stray kittens.
  28. the piano lesson
    He flexed his fingers
    and took his time placing each
    one on the right keys.
  29. the nexus of flashbacks and dreams
    Old friends and classmates
    stop to say hi and it’s still
    1999.
  30. menu for tomorrow
    Visions of crepes and
    truffles and ribs and pasta
    filled his sleeping feast.
  31. persistence through poor listening skills
    Whenever she was
    told no, she really heard ask
    again and again.
  32. sunday in the park with german shepherds
    Big dogs, little dogs,
    panting dogs, friendly dogs, all
    leashed up and frisky.
  33. the lost art of shutting up
    No one asked, yet all
    spewed forth their insights and bile
    to ruin the web.
  34. reformation
    Bad boys can become
    less bad boys, unclean women
    can become angels.
  35. if x then excedrin
    Mathematical graphs
    fill the pages. That’s the sound
    of my head hurting.
  36. the prickly sort
    Claws out, teeth bared, all
    the signs of a curmudgeon
    fighting his nature.
  37. the builders
    The builders were not
    to be found, hiding so they
    could work hard in peace.
  38. the radio to keep him company
    The wee hours came
    upon his tired frame as
    he eased into night.
  39. sagan on the cliff
    The cosmos is all
    that is, or ever was, or
    ever will be.” Peace.
  40. the perils of a push-button society
    One wrong click could send
    the rocket to the sun or
    tweet from the wrong brand.
  41. the married spinster
    The married spinster
    bore no children, save for her
    pets Rancor and Deceit.
  42. the utopia of promises
    The witch speaks of a
    place where neighbors help neighbors
    and hipsters rate pubs.
  43. lattice be thankful
    Of all the kinds of
    pie I’ve tried, my favorite
    is all of the kinds.
  44. the fortune teller texted
    She warned of visions
    of unhappy emoji
    in disharmony.
  45. a lucrative scheme
    Arrogance and his
    brother ignorance bilked the
    townspeople at will.
  46. mowing by moonlight
    The mower clacked on
    top of weeds and tufts in search
    of ambitious foes.
  47. somewhat homemade
    The sort-of baker
    greased the pan and mixed the stuff
    for near-complete treats.
  48. a matter of process
    He combed his thick hair
    with steady strokes, counting the
    steps till coffee time.
  49. the privileged few
    Live at the expense
    of others. Find your way from
    the top to the top.
  50. friends say
    Indiscreetly they
    spill vivid lurid details
    with mock air of shame.
  51. flight of the bumble wee
    The red kite stumbled
    into the currents, half by
    breeze, half by kid dash.
  52. in front of the neighbors
    The first hint of spring
    draws out the easily burned
    and the slightly daft.
  53. the rush of days
    Flowers went unsmelled,
    sunsets unobserved, meals un-
    appreciated.
  54. the look
    The startling beauty
    of her eyes defies mere words.
    Let me peer longer.
  55. a scale of hope, a pantry of demons
    A few small bites for
    survival, a few more for
    pleasure, the rest … girth.
  56. sully the skyline
    Rooftops etch themselves
    among the clouds, distracted
    by a brash billboard.
  57. the sky is crying
    The pitter patter
    of raindrops floods the streets with
    the sorrow of spring.
  58. postmodern man
    Postmodern Man rules
    over Meta Man while most
    ironically frank.
  59. customer service 2014
    Technology makes
    it easy for companies
    to shun us quicker.
  60. imprisoned by poverty
    Their home became a
    jail cell, a sentence of hard
    labor, no pleasures.
  61. take flight while you can
    Roots are anchors, dead
    weight holding you down. Fly off,
    and harvest those worms.
  62. method reacting
    Sense the commitment
    by the actor. Listen to
    your belly rumble.
  63. the desert warrior
    Endless desert dunes
    made the charity ride all
    the more heroic.
  64. the invaders who don’t wipe their feet
    Who let them in, they
    who would cross the threshold with
    muddy stinky boots?
  65. consumer culture
    Major in Walmart,
    taking in a salon to
    discuss deep discounts.
  66. baby bumper
    She crawled across the
    floor, knocking down grownups with
    stun beams of cuteness.
  67. the creek that became a river
    Torrents brought down an
    ocean to overrun the
    banks and drown the wee.
  68. the route of least existence
    Just a little ways
    out into the world, then back
    to the great safety.
  69. society of spoilers
    First is best, knowledge
    trumps insight. To the spoilers
    go the victory.
  70. the boys of early spring
    The pitcher served up
    gift after gift, returned to
    the night sky with haste.
  71. first last call
    They gulped their cocktails
    and headed out for smoky
    enclaves to invade.
  72. piper club
    The frolicking in
    the pool gave way to a lone
    piper at sunset.
  73. stillness
    One lamp light. Dimness.
    One cricket. A steady chirp.
    One breeze. Gentle touch.
  74. a frenzied accounting
    Scraps detail the odd
    costs of doing business and
    paying off the feds.
  75. in sagan’s wake
    The expanse of the
    universe is both fearsome
    and gravely humbling.
  76. breaking the code
    Do we need strength to
    fight genetic destiny
    or is it built in?
  77. a reaper’s calling card
    Swift and silent he
    comes, leaving a cold seat at
    the dinner table.
  78. tot shaming
    She berated her
    young charge while loading the car
    and gripping her purse.
  79. impolite society
    He would often air
    his dirty laundry to get
    gasps from nosy peers.
  80. risen and resplendent
    Bonnets and pastel
    outfits and spiffy shoes make
    for full decked-out pews.
  81. the home stretch
    The finish line in
    sight, whether to speed up or
    coast to completion.
  82. severed limbs
    The sticker bush put
    up a good fight, but landed
    curbside anyway.
  83. the path of shorts
    Night brings welcome cool
    and sufficient darkness to
    stroll without long pants.
  84. heavy duty
    Can the world’s problems
    be solved before a cup of
    morning coffee? Nay.
  85. woo is woo
    Let words of love go
    out via letter, call, text,
    tweet, voicemail, Snapchat.
  86. skyline vandals
    The rectangular
    chiseled cityscape goes full
    whore with banned banners.
  87. swagger
    A walk, a tone of
    voice, a glint in the eye, all
    add up to swagger.
  88. out like a lion
    The harshest comes late
    in the month, slapping the bloom
    from the gentle land.
  89. glued to the radar
    Polygons and bright
    splotches of red and orange make
    for Doppler drama.
  90. springtime comes to the new new new south
    Squatting in a dark
    basement, helmets on, watching
    storm fronts on radar.
  91. before the driver waded to safety
    The van crept into
    the intersection, but the
    waters shut it down.
  92. the scale of the future
    Sensors detect weight,
    bad breath, alertness, dirty
    underwear, split ends.
  93. drivers in distress
    One felt terrible
    for smashing a car, while the
    other felt woozy.
  94. loose clothing, tight fit
    A diet gone right
    means cutting a trim figure
    while still indulging.
  95. mighty fine sitting
    Sunny afternoon,
    comfy chair, quiet hours
    watching from the porch.
  96. modern hieroglyphs
    Smiley face, frowny
    face, tongue out, crying, wink, heart,
    random emoji.
  97. the satellite servant rebellion
    The detour signs and
    the computer voice team up
    to send us off course.
  98. egyptian yard sale
    Glass pyramid sits
    not in the desert but the
    streets of the city.
  99. promises promises promises
    What’s the use in them
    making promises when we
    clean up their messes?
  100. smoke and marshmallows
    The campfire pops
    and crackles, a blazing source
    of nighttime comfort.
  101. the quality of mercy
    Empathy into
    action, grace for others as
    a sign of good will.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 30

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

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  1. when insurance and e-commerce collide
    The waiting rooms were
    empty. A nation was stuck
    on the health care site.
  2. caped valets
    In a world filled with
    superheroes, no one will
    snag coffee for me.
  3. mean lean halloween machines
    Getting ready for
    the big night, spooks and spirits
    practice cleansing screams.
  4. the old guard and the new
    Traditionalists
    and trendsetters vied for sole
    control of the world.
  5. sotto voce
    “But she’s still ugly.”
    “I took the money and ran.”
    “Worthless crazy fool.”
  6. the cook at his station each morning
    The kitchen would come
    alive with classic ’90s
    hits and pan-fried eggs.
  7. path of least ridiculousness
    Frustration melted
    away as he breathed in and
    took a step forward.
  8. the triumphant return of the not missing
    The wanderer came
    back to recount her travels
    but misplaced her friends.
  9. for the in-season phantasm
    Why should ghosts follow
    a calendar when they can
    spook a bit each night?
  10. game of threads
    Do you dress up as
    your hero or your dark side?
    Do clothes make the man?
  11. unburied treasures
    An inventory
    of his soul yielded all sorts
    of hidden talents.
  12. shores of autumn
    The earth swayed and sloshed
    the waters. A turtle left
    the sands forever.
  13. the exit that is not an exit
    Do not tap on the
    still windows of the sleeping,
    snoring motorists.
  14. dance of the polka dot sisters
    They smile and spin on
    the sand, letting the rhythm
    unleash their spirit.
  15. post-modern tones
    The phone would scream, burp,
    quack, sneeze, ping, whoosh, beep, laugh and
    clink, but never ring.
  16. the early risers
    The sunrise emits
    a subtle psalm bringing all
    a gracious howdy.
  17. will flip for cash
    A splash of paint, a
    scented candle, a new rug,
    it smells like money.
  18. the sport of knaves
    Such combat that robs
    men of their faculties, their
    dignity, their souls.
  19. laziest verse ever
    Cliches are the new
    black. Avoid like the plague! The
    rest is history.
  20. jailbird breakout
    Their death sentences
    were nigh. They had to flee. The
    turkeys would escape.
  21. veterans’ days
    After the parade,
    they still need jobs, medical
    services, housing.
  22. the arctic plunge
    Before the turkeys
    could hide, before the chestnuts
    could roast, Jack Frost struck.
  23. orphaned peppers
    Frost slapped the vines hard
    scarring leaves and breaking stems
    without witnesses.
  24. cravings
    Temptation left his
    mind, only to sneak back in
    through seductive dreams.
  25. a past that never dies
    What nostalgia pins
    us to moments when we miss
    those for our future?
  26. the littlest hero
    It’s not the villains
    he caught or the deeds he dared
    but the light he shined.
  27. how to learn to save a life
    Rows of poor plastic
    patients lie with no pulse, no
    breath, waiting for aid.
  28. new to the forest
    The campers lugged in
    giant tents and fancy boots
    and vintage canteens.
  29. fester like a sore, and then run
    I look at Langston’s
    works
    and witness the struggle
    before all of us.
  30. a slow, leisurely lunch
    Put the watch away
    when we talk business and kids
    and all our futures.
  31. the word of 2013
    A pic of you shot
    by you is a selfie, once
    called narcissism.
  32. signs from across
    Her hands told a tale
    of a love lost and a deep
    bitterness that lasts.
  33. the day of the doctor
    Running, not from, but
    to danger and adventure
    and the universe.
  34. dead at 49
    He stopped to wish his
    Facebook friend a good birthday
    but it was too late.
  35. modern urban archeology
    Floor after floor of
    dust greeted the explorers
    deep in the ruins.
  36. stir fry recipe
    Chop. Chop chop chop chop
    chop chop. Heat wok, add oil.
    Cook everything quick.
  37. paw prints in the mud
    Cats, dogs, squirrels traipse through
    the yard with impunity.
    Beasts without borders.
  38. a thanksgiving prayer
    May stuffing vs.
    dressing be the most heated
    argument today.
  39. the fine art of crust
    One layer gets the
    job done, but two layers are
    flaky perfection.
  40. clash of the tigers and elephants
    Their mighty forces
    walloped one another till
    blood and tears remained.
  41. the earliest shoppers
    Their lists are all crossed
    off, with piles of presents wrapped
    and bowed for giving.
  42. dance of the sugar-free plum fairy
    The nutcracker was
    banished due to allergies
    from pecans by kids.
  43. mining sweethearts
    He spent his hours
    window shopping for a mate,
    wary of defects.
  44. last laugh
    The comedian
    found his audience in a
    mob of drunk hecklers.
  45. united party front
    The couple huddled
    behind the cocktail table
    gnawing at hors d’oeuvres.
  46. austrian help wanted
    Large harmonizing
    family seeks nanny nun
    with mad sewing skills.
  47. elfie selfie
    Santa’s minion left
    a digital trail of pics
    flashing his North Pole.
  48. the wish
    Years later, she would
    not remember that it all
    went wrong with a wish.
  49. a missing lottery ticket
    It flew out the car
    window somewhere between West
    Memphis and Vega.
  50. ghost of christmas alternate universe
    Ebenezer gawked
    at the spectral visitor’s
    gluten-free fruitcake.
  51. hoarse
    Politely shouting
    his intentions made little
    difference to his friends.
  52. terrible with names
    Everyone was named
    “Champ” as far as he knew or
    cared. Hey, Champ, what’s new?
  53. rotten luck
    A black cat ran past
    broken mirror shards in front
    of 13 ladders.
  54. biking through the villages
    He rode from town to
    town with a penchant for good
    stories, good people.
  55. the right amount of suck, cinema edition
    A screenplay needs time
    to work in the kinks and find
    its awkward, dull voice.
  56. a special kind of stupid
    They will argue, whine,
    insult, yell, huff, puff and sulk,
    but never be right.
  57. the lost art of smartassery
    All the charm of a
    third grader shines through with a
    dull wit and tired line.
  58. fireball alarm
    They awoke in the
    dark to find a home without
    walls, souls without limbs.
  59. the early riser
    The early riser
    needed no clanging alarm
    to greet the pale dawn.
  60. in search of spotlights
    Some can’t live without
    attention. The worst deny
    their narcissism.
  61. a winter’s hike
    The children ran far
    ahead, despite the brisk air.
    The trail pulled them in.
  62. ruckus two doors down
    Thumping bass keeps the
    dog up, the baby crying
    and us complaining.
  63. shorts at christmastime
    What wretched deal did
    we strike with Mother Nature
    for winter heat wave?
  64. silent not
    The carolers made
    a noise that charitably
    could be called “joyous.”
  65. holly and jolly
    Shreds of gift wrapping
    flew everywhere in a blur
    of children and toys.
  66. inside for a spot of warmth
    The bedraggled gent
    huddled quietly on a
    hard chair for the night.
  67. neat freak
    Bills unpaid. Laundry
    piling up. Children without shots.
    But the house was clean.
  68. king of the cargo container
    The tiny house had
    a tiny kitchen and a
    tiny bed crammed in.
  69. quadruple agent
    She worked for neither
    country nor agency, nor
    even principle.
  70. so 2013
    While Instagramming
    a selfie, he sent bitcoins
    to binge-watch twerking.
  71. promise to a future wife
    I will pretend to
    like your cat, even as he
    stabs my crotch with claws.
  72. a day that marks a month and a year
    To some, another
    day. To the rest, a chance at
    love joy peace friends grace.
  73. no time for reflection
    The weary laundress
    stacked shirts neatly, not letting
    her eyes drift away.
  74. frosty french toast
    Extreme cold can be
    crippling for Southerners caught
    without bread and milk.
  75. the oompa loompas are on food stamps
    Charlie shut down the
    chocolate factory and moved
    it to Mexico.
  76. sportsmanship 2014
    Taunting, shooting birds,
    killing trees, kicking, punching,
    all on video.
  77. winter weather watch
    They pressed their little
    noses against the icy
    panes seeking snowflakes.
  78. after the crowds left
    The players took one
    last look at the field and dwelled
    on what could have been.
  79. the last drop
    Inspiration can
    be found at the bottom of
    a potent beverage.
  80. someone else’s problem
    An astute few saw
    the bigger issues. And none
    lifted a finger.
  81. symptoms include listlessness, runny pancreas
    He diagnosed his
    malady as either a
    mild cold or malaise.
  82. the run-down chapel
    A few old timers
    creeped along dusty pews as
    the service began.
  83. the last noel, five points south
    The plastic garlands
    fluttered carelessly in the
    January wind.
  84. skydiving social worker seeks fly fishing accountant
    The personals seem
    like a competition in
    duck faces and wants.
  85. one week in january, winter in the south
    Wet, cold, ice, windy,
    warm, cloudy, chilly, fog, rain,
    snow, slick, sun, clear, sigh.
  86. two dollars and no place to go
    The drifter pulled his
    rolling bag beside him, safe
    and dry for the day.
  87. this postmodern world
    The boogeyman does
    not hide nor shock, but merely
    points out our failings.
  88. brief getaway
    He stared at the glass
    of pale bourbon, unable
    to shove it aside.
  89. the splat comes at the end
    He played by the rules
    and took care of others, then
    was hit by a truck.
  90. diy sonnet kit
    Tell her she’s special.
    Tell her she’s totally hot.
    Tell her she’s the one.
  91. triumph of the passable
    The city’s collapse
    came not from corruption but
    mediocrity.
  92. looking back, looking forward, looking around
    Is life a bucket
    list, a cabaret or a
    tombstone’s etched hyphen?
  93. the heavens in winter
    Frozen noses point
    to Orion, frozen toes
    planted on hard earth.
  94. the ire next time
    He steadied himself
    not for the audience’s
    scorn, but for his own.
  95. death by pleasantries
    Throngs of people close
    in and swallow me, drowning
    my soul in chit chat.
  96. spiritual harvest
    The community
    garden nourished bodies and
    planted seeds in souls.
  97. crust to crust
    The baker puzzled
    over the finishing edge
    for his latest pie.
  98. rancor in the rockies
    Hollywood types and
    trust fund kids vs. people
    trying to get by.
  99. the rainbow zoo cafe, snow day hours
    With school closed, she made
    snow creams, enough for seven
    skinny harbor seals.
  100. world’s slowest speedway
    Motorists leave a
    freeway’s worth of cars to the
    gray merciless snow.
  101. snow day makeup slumber party
    Kids sleep on gym floors
    and in classrooms, waiting for
    the road home to thaw.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 29

Monday, October 21st, 2013

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  1. rise of the machines
    Talk to me like a
    third grader when explaining
    new tech from now on.
  2. the leaky library
    Stray tarps kept water
    off the stacks. The collection
    remained safe for now.
  3. party ingredients
    A little bit of
    hospitality, plus booze,
    tunes, smiles and munchies.
  4. the return of a southern summer
    Days punctuated
    by afternoon thunderstorms
    from out of nowhere.
  5. virtual landfill
    The Internet was
    built apparently so we
    could fill it with trash.
  6. absence fonder
    The most delicious
    thing in the world comes from
    long time without it.
  7. the joke is always on us
    Perhaps the only
    way to settle our squabbles
    is with a good laugh.
  8. balance is coming
    A state of zen is
    achieved when bad outcomes and
    good outcomes are one.
  9. weed wars
    Neither neighbor would
    mow the middle ground, leaving
    a thin wall of weeds.
  10. the promised land
    They did not let floods
    and storms stop their journey to
    the Valley of Jones.
  11. oh the stories they’ll tell
    Each story has a
    hero and a challenge, and
    sometimes they’re the same.
  12. the villain who isn’t the villain
    The misunderstood
    villain, a figure who takes
    the blame every time.
  13. the usual plots
    Love, greed, revenge, quest,
    jealousy, coming of age,
    dea/good and evil.
  14. the completist hell
    No collection was
    ever full, no task ever
    without improvement.
  15. the merchants of new venice
    Storms would bring nasty
    tides to Main Street. Shopkeepers
    watched cars float away.
  16. diamond status
    Shortstop scratches. The
    pitcher glances for movement.
    The bat arises.
  17. the bro code
    Even bros who mock
    bro behavior are, at heart,
    still bros underneath.
  18. seat of tranquility
    The worn bench made for
    a resting spot during laps
    around the town square.
  19. humid on the inside
    Two minutes in the
    car showed in the sweat patches
    up and down his shirt.
  20. lost connection
    We were once joined at
    the hip. You and I share mild
    indifference now.
  21. archimedes’ seesaw
    It is not that the
    world expects too little, but
    that we heed the world.
  22. the meteor
    A meteor struck
    wiping out the humans to
    make way for the crabs.
  23. cozy king or queen
    Tucked tight in corners,
    layer after layer of
    linens hug mattress.
  24. the dissident
    The zealous artist
    spoke out against abuse and
    oppression through works.
  25. victory lapse
    Success looks easy
    from afar, but resembles
    hard work seen up close.
  26. follow the crowd
    The mob was always
    right about crooks and sports teams
    and politicians.
  27. fluffy stack
    Each pancake rested
    atop another, then it
    rained maple syrup.
  28. low pulse
    A heart races, then
    settles into a steady
    calm. Lub-dub lub-dub.
  29. dining out for 3-year-olds
    Peeking over booth
    seats, crawling under tables,
    mischief goes with meals.
  30. saturday night swing time
    Lithe figures swirl through
    waves of smoke and heat. The floor
    pulses with each beat.
  31. the naming of dogs
    Literary, on
    occasion. Playful, breezy,
    almost never staid.
  32. academic cheat code
    Open book, read through
    chapters, study, study, take
    notes, do homework, pass.
  33. the littlest shadow
    Look carefully to
    spy a meek clawed invader
    hidden in black fur.
  34. damp
    Every step from the
    carport to the garden bed
    to the welcome mat.
  35. unswept dining area
    Elegant facade
    cannot hide the shriveled corpse
    of a curled cockroach.
  36. summer’s last hurrah
    One last carefree day
    to amble along worn streets
    with no agenda.
  37. four-word contract
    Forgetting their pens
    and paper, he said “I do”
    and she said “I do.”
  38. the college of the future
    Classrooms without walls.
    Students without schedules. One
    year to diploma.
  39. the greater depression
    They struggle along
    working three jobs, taking from
    food banks, no relief.
  40. chalkboard biomes
    Some classrooms keep the
    peace, others allow chaos.
    A few inspire.
  41. hot in short-sleeveland
    The parking lot walk
    back from lunch feels like a death
    trudge through the tar pits.
  42. the postmodern miser
    They stockpile wealth on
    the backs of others, hoarding
    their rightful plunder.
  43. franchise falloff
    Each superhero
    fights another while the bad
    guys get all the girls.
  44. praise be
    No one leaves without
    a trophy and a shout out
    since specialness rules.
  45. lost and found causes
    Ideals outlast our
    actions, principles outlive
    our work. Hope endures.
  46. tamagotchi 2.0
    Beep. New text. Beep. New
    email. Beep. Facebook chat. Beep.
    DM. Beep. Wake up!
  47. the fickle electorate
    Short memories and
    clenched fists help them navigate
    lists of crooks and cads.
  48. the referee’s prayer
    Give us the strength to
    call fouls and hurl flags, all in
    the name of fair play.
  49. land of puritans
    A pop star does a
    suggestive dance on TV
    and the world explodes.
  50. leave it all out on the field
    Two teams enter, two
    teams leave. Most will suffer from
    delayed concussions.
  51. blame the drawing board
    Half the coaches will
    erase the board, hoping the
    chalk will point the way.
  52. a holiday from
    The kiss-ups, slackers,
    meanies, gossips, hustlers, new
    faces and dead weight.
  53. the world is run by high schoolers
    Graduation is
    an illusion. We are kept
    in check by sophomores.
  54. soon the leaves will fall
    Soon the leaves will fall,
    the earth wrapped snugly while the
    pale trees stand naked.
  55. yard mullet
    The front lawn is groomed
    impeccably. The back yard
    swallowed three small dogs.
  56. options and they’re all bad
    Does strength lie in an
    honorable defeat or
    prudent withdrawal?
  57. patricidal tendencies
    She could not, would not
    confront that which kept her in
    fear: daddy issues.
  58. riding the slipstream
    Hunched over, glancing
    the scenery sideways and
    pedaling along.
  59. primordial batter
    The pan’s deep center
    hid a chocolate tar pit
    of underbaked goo.
  60. the declining value, in words
    Digital photos:
    their proliferation drags
    down the worth of all.
  61. the legacy of 9/11
    We have tossed aside
    freedom to eavesdrop and bomb
    and make others rich.
  62. calluses without callousness
    Walk a mile in their
    shoes, they said. It’ll be fun,
    they said. So I did.
  63. that new stadium smell
    Hot dogs and kraut, fresh
    chalk on the field, beer suds, paint
    and ballplayer sweat.
  64. in e-memoriam
    Eulogies and shared
    stories yield to a Facebook
    wall of memories.
  65. 16th street massacre
    The murder of four
    girls in Birmingham still haunts
    the city and world.
  66. field of new dreams
    They built it, and we
    came. They played hard, and they won.
    And we won as well.
  67. must love dogs and money and shopping and karaoke
    The applicants filled
    out long checklists to match up
    their insane ideals.
  68. the character of characters
    The power over
    words can sway minds and rally
    hearts and warp nations.
  69. the face that launched a thousand quips
    His stock countenance
    was fueled by sour lemons
    and a foul odor.
  70. the south shall televise again
    Them yokels bring their
    redneck reality to
    cable’s boundless swamp.
  71. autumnal anticipation
    They held their breath and
    waited for the imminent
    arrival of fall.
  72. all that you leave behind
    The trees shiver in
    anticipation of their
    looming nudity.
  73. traveling companions
    Anxiety and
    stress cleave to each side, always
    minding the next step.
  74. how does he not do it? volume volume volume
    The task nagged at him
    sotto voce. But all the
    distractions shouted.
  75. the charms of city life
    Potholes, beheaded
    parking meters, graffiti,
    gunshots, uncut weeds.
  76. fortune smiles upon us all
    Fortune smiles upon
    us all, though some are apt to
    exaggerate it.
  77. cautious to the end
    He waited till the
    stars aligned and all was just
    so. But then he died.
  78. the modern huntress
    Equipped with brains and
    a smartphone, ready to snag
    business deals in heels.
  79. hookup nation
    Phones chirp with stalkers
    and peers, eroding any
    hope of innocence.
  80. unbalanced sheet
    With weary eyes, the
    accountant retallied the
    books soaked in red ink.
  81. it started with a lol
    The virtual wink
    led to chats and Skyping and
    a date IRL.
  82. one last picnic
    They packed cold beers and
    finger foods for the hike to
    watch the pale sunset.
  83. kiss and ride
    He decided to
    start the kiss part long before
    the line’s dropoff point.
  84. triple meaning
    The author’s vision,
    reader’s interpretation
    and the divine truth.
  85. your tax dollars at play
    The lawmakers gave
    everyone time off for their
    own bad behavior.
  86. crazy eights
    He typed and typed and
    typed at his keyboard, sometimes
    getting up to stretch.
  87. eavesdropping out
    It does no good to
    listen in when all others
    talk about is trash.
  88. among the well-rested dead
    Their life stories are
    told in epitaphs barely
    legible in stone.
  89. a march for admission
    Huddled masses and
    wretched refuse gather in
    the park to fight on.
  90. homecoming hurrah
    The oldsters trample
    the quads in search of a youth
    already misspent.
  91. pierce the silence
    Stillness. Peace. Calm. All
    ruined by dramatic tales
    of office gossip.
  92. blackboards and touchscreens
    Chalk seems quaint compared
    to tablets and teachers on
    streaming video.
  93. the city before it was a city
    Mine for ore or work
    the furnace. Trudge home to rest
    this aching body.
  94. where unsaved posts go
    The world’s most awesome
    library has the best drafts
    lost on computers.
  95. the lone barker
    In the bowels of
    pitch black night, a distant cur
    shouts anxiety.
  96. the pothole 423 miles away
    She thus drove ever
    watchful for nails and speed traps
    and minor hazards.
  97. love and rockets
    She stole him away
    to the asteroid belt and
    danced among comets.
  98. vapors, please
    The credentials had
    all the right flourishes and
    seals to be near true.
  99. diet diversion
    Once a week, he would
    carefully indulge in each
    sinful concoction.
  100. not necessarily the weather
    Occasional fogs
    with partly windy lightning
    and chance of sunset.
  101. selfie nation
    What happens when the
    camera is turned on us? A
    flock of duck face teens.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 28

Friday, July 12th, 2013

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  1. functional extrovert
    His grin seemed off, a
    plastered sentiment beneath
    weary darkened eyes.
  2. piracy in the 21st century
    Not doubloons or gold,
    but a digital copy
    of a “Twilight” flick.
  3. working hard or hardly resting
    The taskmaster would
    brook no break, choosing instead
    to whisper, “Don’t stop.”
  4. the mule in spring
    The mule inched forward
    imperceptibly while the
    asses watched agape.
  5. baker’s choice
    Her kitchen became
    a flour-y disaster
    zone, but, oh, the tarts!
  6. lost in transubstantiation
    Eating and drinking
    one’s savior could cause severe
    deus diabetes.
  7. strawberry delight
    Sweet harvest, bounty
    of red, sunlight trapped in juice
    beneath curvy skins.
  8. four-legged tornado
    The misbehaving
    pup shredded assorted clothes
    and tinkled at will.
  9. viral notion
    The vice president
    asked the marketing chief, who
    assigned it to interns.
  10. rounding third
    A runner made for
    home, egged on by teammates, fans
    and adrenaline.
  11. nose to the ground
    The forest floor sent
    the tail wagging with the scent
    of hidden creatures.
  12. condition blue
    Gorgeous springtime sky
    gives no hint of tornadoes
    on the horizon.
  13. prone to rupture
    The vessel for his
    madness leaked oily fluid
    onto the blank page.
  14. horror in boston
    Marathoners cross
    the finish line, only to
    find death, destruction.
  15. the unheralded organizers
    Their free time is spent
    hunting chairs, making flyers
    and scrounging for pens.
  16. like a nuclear bomb
    Flames pierce stillness of
    night, followed by explosion
    flattening Texas.
  17. the modest goddess
    Naked, unguarded,
    she possesses my soul with
    her gentle glances.
  18. negative vibes
    Senses register
    troubled spirits. Air thick with
    hope and frustration.
  19. goodnight, beantown
    Rest, you weary sons
    of liberty. Know that your
    neighbors will keep watch.
  20. post-post-postmodern
    Art is everywhere.
    We are art, everything is
    art. Is this art? No.
  21. plot dealers
    They glance around once,
    twice, before revealing the
    merchandise: free books.
  22. a sisyphus for the rest of us
    Eventually,
    the boulder wore down into
    a pebble, then speck.
  23. the buzzer is broken
    Weary shopper takes
    a seat on the metal bench.
    Clerk isn’t in sight.
  24. security in insecurity
    A bundle of nerves
    kept him both isolated
    and in constant touch.
  25. bart on the loose
    Colorful boxer
    bounds over sidewalks and steps
    to art lovers’ grins.
  26. step 3: profit!
    The plan was to do
    this, but quickly turned into
    that. Was that the plan?
  27. a land without sidewalks
    Even the full moon
    could not light the way along
    dark streets and odd homes.
  28. they came, they saw, they left
    Dark windows kept the
    crowds at bay. Though they knocked for
    service, no one came.
  29. home sweat home
    A house in need of
    a woman’s touch, followed by
    laboring in love.
  30. fight of the bumblebee
    Pup snatches bees in
    mid-flight, snacking on buzzing
    drones, stingers and all.
  31. the guardian of time
    The jaded keeper
    sat impatiently in the
    swirl of cosmic night.
  32. embrace of the teeming
    Have a card, take a
    card. Leave a card, toss a card.
    Shuffle off and die.
  33. dare to hoe
    Rows wind through the dirt.
    Squirrels tear through the rows. Birds peck
    at the black remains.
  34. big dogs on campus
    Institution of
    higher learning rewards good
    dogs with free boarding.
  35. troubadours and lattes
    A lone guitarist
    plays for coffee and change to
    crowds of day people.
  36. a tent popped for two
    The wind wouldn’t quit.
    Night fell in droplets, as they
    huddled reading verse.
  37. no one understands but her
    I am weak, but she
    makes me strong. I am confused,
    but she guides me through.
  38. how to be a juggler
    Keep those balls in the
    air. Make it seem easy. Don’t
    look away too long.
  39. countertop blizzard
    The kitchen looked as
    if a chef had hit it with
    a flour grenade.
  40. cutter’s corner
    The gentleman with
    the unruly mane took his
    seat, while the rest jawed.
  41. where shows go to die
    This fall’s lineup will
    make audiences laugh, cry
    unlike latest crop.
  42. the aural void
    Silence. A rushing
    of waves. The moan of a train
    whistle. Then, silence.
  43. let me love you till the end of time
    A heart calls out for
    a twin, one that lubs while the
    other dubs. Lub-dub.
  44. the hidden heart
    Beneath the hard shell,
    a faint ticking could be heard
    whenever she smiled.
  45. cheap and dirty
    Piles of merchandise
    wait to be adopted, then
    thrown in the garbage.
  46. a dog, a cat, an exit
    The kitchen floor still
    has rings where their supper bowls
    held their attention.
  47. draft epitaph
    Father, husband, son,
    scoundrel, drunk, beggar, drifter,
    human. Rest in peace.
  48. a waking nightmare
    His eyes opened, and
    she was gone. Never had a
    dream seemed so lifelike.
  49. before sunrise
    He scanned the foggy
    horizon, searching for … he
    wasn’t quite certain.
  50. quadruple life
    Her heart belonged to
    art and people and crafting
    and passions unknown.
  51. hidden in the beginning
    Evil monster is
    lame. (yawn) She’s unseemly czar,
    known sociopath.
  52. cardiojacking
    Knock knock. Get out of
    my heart. (pause) Oh, you can stay
    a little longer.
  53. they dared intimacy
    When he was naked
    and vulnerable, she held
    him ever so tight.
  54. the intersections that matter
    The path isn’t clear.
    We may choose a direction,
    but wander astray.
  55. duty and honor
    We could do better
    by our vets, living or dead.
    Today, tomorrow.
  56. as they should be
    Fate is fickle and
    unkind. She leads us to hope
    disguised as dead ends.
  57. foolish and free
    Soon, others joined the
    movement, not caring about
    societal norms.
  58. modern coupling
    No proposal, but
    registered at the pawn shop
    and the brewery.
  59. dual torches
    We used our phones as
    flashlights, stepping cautiously
    along the cliff face.
  60. stripped bare
    Without pretense or
    even thought, the lone figure
    began days anew.
  61. how campaigns are won
    Dirty deals in back
    rooms while smiling and laughing
    for the citizens.
  62. cure all
    The potion hadn’t
    been tested. Who knew what side
    effects would bite back?
  63. humid enough for ya
    Face, neck, brow lousy
    with sweat. Even indoors. With
    air conditioning.
  64. 73 ways to make introverts squirm
    So many reports
    on introverts makes me want
    to hide somewhere dark.
  65. famous last words
    Fortune favors the
    bold. Who dares wins. God helps those
    who help themselves. Charge!
  66. nowhere to go but
    In the pit of deep
    despair, every direction
    leads upward and out.
  67. you are the product
    What you click, what you
    share, what you read, you are a
    hot commodity.
  68. a spare arm or leg
    The starfish doesn’t
    know he has an odd number
    of appendages.
  69. of pegs and holes
    Would you ever read
    the instruction manual
    for a new sweetheart?
  70. e-pen to e-paper
    I always thought my
    first book would be about love
    or haiku. It’s not.
  71. you gotta see the baby
    Newborns achieve wild
    instant fame through their unpaid
    phone paparazzi.
  72. the extended solo
    He played and riffed till
    his fingers ached. Fading out
    into a silence.
  73. almost all grown up
    By the time the old
    traveler settled down, he
    embraced adulthood.
  74. rise of the cyber impostors
    Online, everyone
    is me and I am hidden
    among the fakers.
  75. branch dressing
    Tendrils snag any
    low-hanging limb, tangoing
    their way to the sky.
  76. condition clear, condition red
    A furious wave
    of panic rose within, then
    left. Trembling remains.
  77. the power of the power pen
    The ideas the
    words tumbled forth pouring waves
    of unwieldy prose.
  78. in the bones
    The weariness of
    existence permeated
    his flagging body.
  79. the stories we tell ourselves
    The stories we tell
    ourselves have the most cruel and
    misleading outcomes.
  80. a meadow afar
    Dappled fields glisten
    with careless splatters of dew
    as the morning wakes.
  81. this is freedom
    A blistering hot
    summer day, walking to the
    mini-mart carefree.
  82. we are all voyeurs
    Peeking into the
    lives of others, laughing, in
    shock, judging, with scorn.
  83. a common tongue
    Whether through laughter,
    food, music or alcohol,
    we bond with others.
  84. the slope of no return
    The faint ant of a
    climber hugged the bump on the
    marble of the Earth.
  85. the ruins in progress
    The aging house gave
    up the fight, part by creaking
    part, and no one saw.
  86. a notion of the past
    Those who fail to learn
    the lessons of history
    are oblivious.
  87. timer tyranny
    The countdown left no
    room for second guessing, just
    for precise action.
  88. down at the laundry hole
    Jeans go for a swim
    in cool suds. Shirts bob, and odd
    socks play hide and seek.
  89. down by half
    Half a year flies by,
    and with it, half the hopes and
    dreams we had in mind.
  90. freedom without responsibility
    What would it mean to
    roam without a care, a thought,
    a plan for living?
  91. more fun than a barrel of pixels
    The entertainment
    center needed only a
    lamp, chair, stack of books.
  92. narrative pulse
    The pages would flip
    by more rapidly as we
    neared the chapter’s end.
  93. society under glass
    What is freedom when
    we face surveillance online
    and everywhere else?
  94. caught looking ahead
    The moment of the
    present was interrupted
    by future what-ifs.
  95. a personal space that is not entirely unhappy
    Imaginary
    circle repels the wailing
    of spoiled sad sacks.
  96. mists of midsummer
    Little feet hopped the
    sprinkler, unaware of the
    light rain trickling down.
  97. that look in their eyes
    In their heads, they are
    counting the days till the next
    holiday from work.
  98. the minute hand askew
    Terminally late,
    the prince of the suburbs huffed
    out of breath to work.
  99. on the road 2013
    Jack Kerouac would
    never get lost as long as as
    his smartphone has bars.
  100. the futures that never came
    Imagination
    fueled anxiety and a
    nagging sense of doom.
  101. an external bug
    The toddler undid
    hours of work with a mere
    lick of the laptop.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 27

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013

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  1. festivus maximus
    Let the airing of
    grievances bring out the true
    holiday spirit.
  2. the instructions are in chinese
    Santa’s helpers all
    over the world sweat and curse
    at bicycle parts.
  3. christmas morning, 8:37
    A hurricane struck
    the living room leaving shreds
    and bows in its wake.
  4. it would have jazz and franklin and some swahili
    When will Charlie Brown
    discover the true meaning
    of Kwanzaa? Good grief.
  5. hipster verse
    This haiku is so
    played out. Twenty-seven is
    the new seventeen.
  6. around the world in 80 weeks
    His sails unfurled, he
    roamed the South Seas in search of
    a cure for heartbreak.
  7. the dentist will be with you shortly
    The sound of high-pitched
    drilling in the next room made
    her squirm in her chair.
  8. meanwhile in the nba
    Maybe out-of-work
    replacement refs can call some
    balks or high sticking.
  9. 2012 in review
    47 per-
    cent, Sandy, Obamacare,
    Aurora, Newtown.
  10. a prayer for the new year
    May we all find and
    keep the one thing that sets our
    heart aflame. Amen.
  11. the naming of dogs
    Whatever sets their
    tails wagging and tongues drooling
    should be sufficient.
  12. on loop at the java hut
    The drive-through is manned
    by the chipperest fellow
    you ever did meet.
  13. the rowing machine is occupied
    The regulars were
    eying sweaty newcomers
    from their treadmill posts.
  14. pint-size perpetual motion machine
    The toddler ran from
    diner to diner, like a
    waiter in training.
  15. one cubicle over
    The closest colleague
    reeks of cheap tobacco and
    some baby’s spit-up.
  16. baptist-catholic scrum
    The Catholics prayed
    for salvation, while Baptists
    damned their wretched foes.
  17. the grownup kids table
    Adults should act like
    adults, except for adults
    who aren’t quite there yet.
  18. surfing at the library
    The most powerful
    tools of our lifetime, used to
    waste moments and gawk.
  19. ghost signs around us
    Bricks with paint tell the
    story of a city with
    big aspirations.
  20. resolution without resolve
    Change was scary, and
    so the resolute became
    the never-started.
  21. the future is always at hand
    Technology, norms,
    culture, society. All
    quickly evolving.
  22. all praise among the faithless
    They looked for hope, they
    waited for deliverance.
    Dusty grew the chants.
  23. other people’s business
    She would fret about
    the world and its numerous
    imperfect people.
  24. water wonderland
    Rains pelted with no
    place to go, bringing stinging
    icy bullet wounds.
  25. a test of the uncharted
    No map, no compass,
    just a nagging sense of one
    direction and goal.
  26. split the check
    Who had what? And why
    am I paying for someone
    else’s martini?
  27. in theory
    The brain trust adjourned,
    having come up with brilliant
    plans no one would do.
  28. zamboni patrol
    The rinks prepare for
    the whoosh of enforcers and
    flying pucks and blood.
  29. iced iced tea
    The glass cracks, as the
    sugar recrystallizes
    in freezing weather.
  30. listening politely
    He listened with both
    ears, waited for a pause to
    ask, “What do you think?”
  31. not-so-sudden fatigue syndrome
    No alarm. Wake up.
    Fall asleep. No alarm. Wake
    up. Repeat till worn.
  32. on a cold street corner downtown
    They came to explore
    a rough and unseemly place
    known as Birmingham.
  33. impatience
    A loud sigh escapes
    as the world passes by. We’re
    stuck here forever.
  34. keeping watch in the lobby
    The bar dark, the road
    warriors made do with wi-fi
    and dingy tables.
  35. graphic outings
    The Batman struck fear
    in the hearts of Gotham’s crooks
    while trapped in boxes.
  36. the long lean line
    The slouch, while somewhat
    comfortable, gave way to the
    grace of high shoulders.
  37. the passion of pursuit
    He wobbled along
    the craggy terrain, sensing
    his love was not far.
  38. to the loudest and the maddest
    Some are born to great-
    ness. Others are just complete
    unrepentant assholes.
  39. tummy rumblings
    The unfed organ
    made its demands known loudly.
    The mouth chewed on it.
  40. jukebox zero
    The hits did not keep
    on coming. Instead, a long
    run of ska and house.
  41. another grand opening
    The ribbon held back
    the curious throng that had
    seen copies before.
  42. a natural forecaster
    With a flourish, the
    esteemed groundhog rose to the
    surface. All hushed.
  43. recovery
    The ugly spot where
    mole cancer lived oozes on.
    Either way, healing.
  44. shortcuts to the universe
    A keystroke here, a
    recipe hint there, it all
    adds up to big time.
  45. the chill of solitude
    The dim lights hid the
    gnawing and palpitations
    from other lone drunks.
  46. to the birthday girl
    She will always be
    the smiling wonder, strong and
    fearless and loving.
  47. a bowl of noodles
    The painted bowl sloshed
    with hot broth and a tangled
    mess of stringy wheat.
  48. nothing to critique
    Wisdom and bruises
    had given him the peace to
    ignore common flaws.
  49. from inside the atom
    Neutrons and protons
    eye flighty electrons with
    caution and wonder.
  50. a hundred years ago
    Freedoms trampled, no
    equality, lawlessness,
    xenophobia.
  51. hamper of dreams
    The dirty clothes would
    occasionally rustle
    ever so slightly.
  52. a soul in search of stimuli
    Holes to be filled with
    soaring and sobering scads
    of fresh ideas.
  53. drunk cupid
    For fun, god of love
    makes up mismatches from hell
    for his amusement.
  54. a many splendored thing
    When you find it, don’t
    ignore it. Nurture it, and
    let it shine from you.
  55. horror at sea
    The shrimp cocktail was
    somewhat small. The towels were
    passably fluffy.
  56. showdown in the lunchroom
    The warriors wolfed down
    trays of soft tacos, not for
    nourishment but sport.
  57. the green wall
    A certain calmness
    radiated from the leaves
    breathing in silence.
  58. keep on leading in the free world
    Millard, Zachary,
    Rutherford, Chester, Grover,
    this day’s for them, too.
  59. speaking in many tongues
    Before Babel, we
    spoke as one, with a certain
    je ne sais quoi. Merde.
  60. in the beginning
    Two kids walked through a
    quiet garden. One hungered.
    Then both were banished.
  61. two of every non-fish
    Noah brought the beasts
    and birds aboard, worrying
    not about sea life.
  62. brotherly hate
    Brothers of the good
    book often embody less-
    than-holy kinship.
  63. to have and have lot
    The meaning of Lot
    has been lost among lurid
    escapades and wine.
  64. centuries of lifetimes
    The denizens of
    Genesis endure hundreds
    of years of boot-up.
  65. on the whole, an average 14 years
    Seven years of feast
    and seven years of famine.
    Early climate change?
  66. on a damp winter’s night
    Jacket stained with rain,
    he darted through shadowy
    alleys bound for home.
  67. ode to the block captain
    From behind the blinds,
    every jogger looks mean and
    each dog a mongrel.
  68. not written in history
    What happened is weird
    mix of what’s written and what’s
    forgotten in time.
  69. the planting
    The earth thaws, cracks, laid
    open for worms and grains of
    plants. Harvest someday.
  70. flakes of hope
    Little faces stared
    at the darkness hoping to
    be blinded by white.
  71. we know what we know
    We know what we know,
    no more, no less. Open eyes
    to know more, no less.
  72. winged features
    If everyone could
    fly, we would chat and floss at
    30,000 feet.
  73. the vestigial bookmark
    Ebooks hide out of
    eyesight. Too much to read, yet
    no stacks to cherish.
  74. late at the schoolhouse
    The hallways echo
    long after last bell with the
    footfalls of stragglers.
  75. the post-modern calendar
    There’s a day for love
    and grandparents and groundhogs,
    but not for daring.
  76. the conclave of literary crafters
    They all kept journals
    of their deepest secrets while
    waiting for big breaks.
  77. always an outsider
    The in crowd wasn’t
    seeking members, nor was it
    trying to shun them.
  78. dizzy from the whirl
    Peering from the roof
    ledge, woozy from the great height,
    unable to move.
  79. basic etiquette for telepathy
    We are not meant for
    reading minds. We barely grasp
    our own twisted thoughts.
  80. buzzing in the brain
    A dull tickle grows
    into unmanageable
    migraine misery.
  81. a moment of darkness
    What happened to the
    lights? Murmuring, nervous laughs.
    Sudden brightness stuns.
  82. joy in a tin pan
    Apple, cherry, Key
    lime, chocolate, pecan, chess,
    lemon icebox, peach.
  83. portent of gloom
    Beware the random
    day, said the soothsayer. At
    dusk, our hopes faded.
  84. orange barrel army
    Miles of soldiers lined
    the highway, praying no crash
    would send them flying.
  85. a giant among fairies
    Mischief maker, clad
    in red or green, uses pot
    of gold to redeem.
  86. pitched perfect
    How about a night
    of surprises and romance,
    guffaws and glances?
  87. if we are to believe the poets
    We are haunted by
    memory, pursuing a
    fantasy, lost, found.
  88. a knight in knoxville
    The gallant soldier
    tied up his horse on a bike
    rack and gripped his sword.
  89. eternal renewal
    Spring returns with hope
    and vigor, perking up the
    land for old time’s sake.
  90. seas, the moment
    Two nerds passing in
    the night, unaware of their
    mutual ripples.
  91. jam equals death
    The superhighway
    of corpuscles zooms along,
    only stopping once.
  92. the nonnomad
    She should go on a
    walkabout, if only to
    cherish what was left.
  93. everyone out of the betting pool
    The sharks were harpooned
    by bad tips, sentimental
    picks, last-second shots.
  94. slow burn
    Longer days enflame
    a furious desire
    that scorches our hearts.
  95. leaves drenched in history
    The torrent of rain
    brings a flood of memories
    to an arid soul.
  96. an incomplete tango
    They worked out the steps
    in their mind, contentedly
    swaying in one place.
  97. retina display
    Her bright blue eyes lit
    up the windowless room of
    his forgotten soul.
  98. black thunder
    Trees braced themselves and
    the sidewalks shattered as El
    Camino roared in.
  99. a mother’s fury
    Hail, sleet, thunder, wind,
    tornadoes, downpours, lightning.
    Alabama spring.
  100. hilarity ensues
    Seemingly real but
    comic premise turns into
    forgotten lame bit.
  101. urban safari
    Wild geese cross the lot.
    Dogs on leashes sniff for foes.
    Koi lurk in dark ponds.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 26

Saturday, December 22nd, 2012

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  1. frenemies till the end
    They couldn’t agree
    on shoe stores, wine lists, small talk
    or most anything.
  2. that’s opera, doc
    Everyone could tell
    the dragon was fake when it
    became a giant.
  3. that song
    That song reminds me
    of gorgeous days, holding your
    hand, laughing, crooning.
  4. a day of rest
    Even the dog plopped
    down to snooze, paying no heed
    to the yard’s squirrels.
  5. tolerance goes only so far
    The chosen kept a
    humble presence, except when
    facing the unblessed.
  6. the hanging
    The townspeople found
    their spots in the square, children
    laughing and pointing.
  7. 19 trips to the thrift store
    She planned and sewed to
    cover her curves. Barely. Best
    Halloween ever!
  8. beneath the carpet
    Dusty matted scraps
    reveal stained subfloor rolling
    in uneven waves.
  9. the hum of the vending machines
    The break room seemed much
    quieter after half of
    the floor was laid off.
  10. the fall brigade
    Horses with dazzling
    manes sweep in on blustery
    winds to transform all.
  11. coffee on the porch
    He would look up from
    his cup to see her gazing
    softly at the trees.
  12. petal fatigue
    “Autumn is a sec-
    ond spring when every leaf is
    a flower.” — Camus
  13. a litter of flags
    Yellow molehills dot
    the turf to interrupt the
    ongoing action.
  14. an afternoon quaffing
    The bartender showed
    us his preferred brew, but we
    knew the taproom well.
  15. romp the leaves
    Master and canine
    set forth on the trail, happy
    to hide in the woods.
  16. his only job was to bang the keys
    The bride’s side and groom’s
    side fanned themselves. The players
    kept the tunes going.
  17. the oldies station meets cobain
    Grunge playing in the
    elevator, Soundgarden
    in the garden shop.
  18. the new new prophets
    Their cries of doom warn
    that the end times are near, that
    the future will be … meh.
  19. dump the slump
    Good posture can be
    sexy, she said, as I sat
    upright in my chair.
  20. search, copy, paste, repeat
    The answers we seek
    can often be found once we
    leave route 404.
  21. give a hoot, don’t commute
    Ralph poured out lukewarm
    latte and swore as he drove
    past the bus stop crowd.
  22. a disciplined laziness
    Every fiber told
    her to do something, but she
    kept still, unraveled.
  23. save the darkness
    Gazing upon the
    night sky reveals the hazy
    fog of light from Earth.
  24. the new old season
    Viewers tuned in to
    see the spectacle, finding
    reruns of concepts.
  25. that’s using your head
    The players spent their
    later years in concussive
    haze. The helmets? Fine.
  26. the span of a few hours
    Ennui, then blackout,
    then worry, then terror, then
    exhaustion, now safe.
  27. vehicular gallantry 2012
    Parking within the
    stripes and letting fire trucks
    and police cars through.
  28. the elephant’s dilemma
    The pachyderm sweats
    over every stomped mouse and
    fat joke ever heard.
  29. for richer and for richerer
    The way to riches
    is down the aisle to marry
    a wealthy old fool.
  30. 10:15 in the balcony among the daytraders
    They discussed the world’s
    affairs over the clatter
    of the coffee beans.
  31. a carrot, some rice and a filet
    The small plastic scale
    dutifully pointed to
    ounces sans judgment.
  32. it’s supposed to be fun
    Worry crossed the brow
    of the mathematician
    learning to pole dance.
  33. scene from a dugout
    The players waited
    nervously to bat, while the
    manager crunched stats.
  34. life in the lines
    The current zips through
    invisibly, electric
    mayhem seeks outlet.
  35. binders of women
    Motherhood, sharing,
    oppression, resilience, wiles,
    nurturing and love.
  36. skyfall
    Man soars to new heights,
    only to plunge himself back
    into Earth’s bosom.
  37. willful ignorance
    They thought themselves well-
    informed, yet filtered out all
    dissenting viewpoints.
  38. a better take on childishness
    No one’s voice spoke more
    clearly than that of the girl
    who asked softly, “Why?”
  39. the deer are coming
    The bow was restrung.
    The fatigues washed and folded.
    The alarm clock set.
  40. the boundaries of knowledge
    We think we know it
    all, but our ignorance is
    so unlimited.
  41. the intersection of technology and greed
    This new tablet does
    everything the old one did,
    but comes in purple.
  42. the authentic con man
    He knew what he was
    talking about, leading those
    wanting to follow.
  43. got my mind on my honey
    I wonder if she
    still thinks about me as she
    moves on with her life.
  44. halloween 2012
    Scavenging trunks for
    gluten-free treats, bobbing for
    organic apples.
  45. teasin’ seasons
    Winter never shows,
    left unwelcome by summer’s
    enduring heat wave.
  46. end of the set list scribbled on a napkin
    The rutted yard teemed
    with guests sipping and laughing
    while the band packed up.
  47. the phantom zone
    The residents live
    in a fog of unhappy
    thoughts, immune from ghosts.
  48. frankenfury
    She came ashore in
    a huff, embracing landmarks
    only to crush them.
  49. destroy all monsters
    Today, they want some
    candy. But tomorrow, they
    return for our houses.
  50. canal streets
    The murky surface
    lapped the tops of cars along
    flooded city roads.
  51. a nation of know-it-alls
    The fashionable
    thing is to chop off one’s ears.
    No one’s using them.
  52. over his shoulder
    He would laugh at an
    odd thought, then reminisce on
    things that might have been.
  53. defeat comes in many forms
    Weakness, fatigue, poor
    planning, despair, undermanned,
    loss of interest, time.
  54. proto-butterfly
    The cocoon wasn’t
    up to specs, so the planners
    trashed that model, too.
  55. how we vote
    By screen, by ovals,
    by absentee, by punches,
    with our heads and hearts.
  56. this american century
    Conqueror and king,
    ally and debtor, brashly
    we advance ourselves.
  57. i must confess
    I hate children and
    pets. I’m shorter in person.
    I worship Snooki.
  58. the death of the middle class
    They could no longer
    afford luxuries such as
    iPads, kids and food.
  59. the walk to the park
    The sleek mom pushed the
    huge stroller up the street, the
    dog lunging at cars.
  60. those who came back home
    Not a one escaped
    without a scar somewhere, a
    surprise souvenir.
  61. risk is relative
    Speaking up for some,
    hang gliding for others, the
    line each of us draws.
  62. the unsuspecting turkey
    Full of hormones and
    grain, the fat turkey strutted
    about the homestead.
  63. security layers
    Do clothes protect us
    from the elements, or keep
    us from busting out?
  64. cutting it closer and closer
    Her job gone, she stared
    at the pile of overdue
    bills with tears flowing.
  65. out of place
    The walls were closing
    in while everyone stared hard
    at the odd loner.
  66. goodbye, pumpkin
    The last Halloween
    treat tasted more bittersweet
    than he expected.
  67. gut check
    They hit the scale first
    thing each morning, peeking through
    their trembling fingers.
  68. war on black friday
    The bargain hunter
    weighs the plight of the worker
    against cheap products.
  69. digital servitude
    Happily the voice
    chirped responses to the man
    barely making it.
  70. a creeping fatigue
    The view is blurry.
    Thoughts come ever so slowly.
    Asleep, then awake.
  71. the pilgrimage
    Around the table
    gather families of blood
    and circumstances.
  72. thankfulness, be gone
    The smart shoppers head
    out to fill their lists while the
    smarter ones sleep in.
  73. rivalry implies civility
    Their unis are gross,
    their coach is the devil, and
    their players deal drugs.
  74. away in a manger 2012
    No room at the inn,
    the couple hit the ER
    and took a number.
  75. noel box no. 17
    Attics and basements
    disgorge their troves of garlands,
    lights and ornaments.
  76. the little shadow
    The little shadow
    tiptoed to keep tabs on the
    trespassing neighbor.
  77. a whiff of scandal
    A rumor brought out
    the bloodhounds and the wolves on
    the hunt for fresh meat.
  78. the heart doesn’t want what the heart doesn’t want
    Forgiveness, progress
    remain untouched, while loathing
    jealousy keep watch.
  79. secrets and lives
    They went about their
    business, keeping all the lies
    tidy in their heads.
  80. sleigh maintenance
    Elf mechanics put
    in new brakes, tune the 13-
    reindeer engine up.
  81. deck the gutters
    Squirrels sometimes trip
    over barbed strings of lights as
    they scurry and shop.
  82. saturdays muted
    The locker rooms are
    empty, the fans have gone home.
    Just wait till next year.
  83. almost tropical
    The trees shed their leaves
    only to broil in the
    sun, a fall of fail.
  84. a modern love story
    Boy meets girl. Boy texts
    girl. Boy Facebooks girl. Boy gets
    girl. Boy defriends girl.
  85. the distant corner of the map
    Far beyond the well-
    worn trails lies the uncharted
    way to adventure.
  86. letters from the front
    At night, the shells and
    rocket grenades seem to hit
    all around our base.
  87. the prediction
    In 4 months, you will
    meet an enchanting lady
    and fall for her smile.
  88. thirsty are the damned
    If you forget your
    social status, bartenders
    make you wait for it.
  89. birth of a notion
    The ether inhaled
    sparks confusion and wonder
    leading to rebirth.
  90. job? creator
    Each radish rose, each
    drizzle of sauce, painstaking
    attention to grub.
  91. the legend of johnny football
    He could throw for miles
    while dodging tanks and flashing
    a near-blinding smile.
  92. the fake housewives of siluria
    The tans were mostly
    chemical, the enhancements
    mostly silicon.
  93. the parade of hurricanes and tornadoes
    A constant state of
    preparedness is its own
    natural disaster.
  94. the day the facebook died
    No matter how much
    they refreshed their laptop and
    phone screens, all was blank.
  95. the fugitive 2012
    He simply killed his
    Twitter account and threw his
    cell phone in the trash.
  96. the newtown address
    Let us find strength to
    carry on, make us worthy
    of their memory.”
  97. debate format
    Shall we argue through
    competing e-petitions
    or talk radio?
  98. bullying at the north pole
    Rudolph the red-nosed
    reindeer had a very bad
    eating disorder.
  99. soup’s on
    The brown-red broth seethes
    and bubbles, preparing for
    senseless consumption.
  100. where once winter
    Jack Frost can’t figure
    out how to freeze such an in-
    temperate planet.
  101. and the world keeps on spinning
    Yesterday, over
    150,000
    souls saw the world end.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 25

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

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  1. the stinging storm
    Sun turns to darkness
    turns to rain turns to hail on
    a June afternoon.
  2. the littlest wish
    She beheld the cake
    and presents and besties and
    wished with eyes shut tight.
  3. first day of summer school
    Her backpack has a
    stowaway hitchhiker who
    wants to sleep in class.
  4. idiocracy by the numbers
    What’s scarier? One
    lone idiot or a mob
    of crazed idiots?
  5. a weed in the kitchen
    A tomato waits
    to be born in a cramped pot
    on a dark counter.
  6. new south blues
    Where once was farmland
    and forests now stands Starbucks
    and Piggly Wiggly.
  7. ode to a fallen truck
    The monster plowed through
    many a dirt road and mall
    lot on big tankfuls.
  8. lenses
    We look at the world
    through warped lenses, eyeing each
    other with concern.
  9. to the guillotine
    They marched to their doom,
    not for crimes committed, but
    for years of service.
  10. the fraternity of the notebook and pen
    They would never be
    strangers. Each member knows their
    kin from all newsrooms.
  11. sustainable food 2012
    People, people who
    eat people are the super
    hungriest people …
  12. walking invalid
    Her brain demanded
    she be happy and sane and
    miserable, too.
  13. the hum of comfort
    As long as the fan,
    fridge, TV and computer
    work, summer’s a blast.
  14. american nightmare
    New dream: Can we stop
    working one day? Newer: Will
    we have enough work?
  15. ode to a catfish
    Dark orphan purrs his
    way into a regal life
    in hilltop castle.
  16. dream car
    Runs on moxie, parks
    anywhere, top comes down, big
    cup holder, blasts tunes.
  17. summer at last
    The walk from parking
    lot to doorway roasts bare flesh
    with intense UV.
  18. the limits of obsession
    Sifting through garbage,
    watching through binoculars,
    but no mornings, please.
  19. the blind recruiter
    The agency wants
    the right candidate, but no
    one too “elderly.”
  20. all the ghosts have moved on
    He looked back for friends
    from childhood, lost loves, schoolmates,
    but they were all dead.
  21. the torch approaches
    Along a quiet
    road in the English country,
    a flame heads homeward.
  22. baskets beyond
    Weaving the strips in
    deliberate sequence to
    make lovely patterns.
  23. problems, solutions and everything in-between
    Some educated
    guesses mixed with wild hunches
    to look somewhat smart.
  24. digital cave drawings
    Our hieroglyphics
    consist of pithy slogans
    on sunset photos.
  25. symphonic oddities
    If the platypus
    played an instrument in band,
    it would be trombone.
  26. vaudeville in the woods
    The young campers hop
    about backstage, waiting to
    dazzle their parents.
  27. the lost inbox
    Fate tosses select
    emails declaring love, hate
    aside for more spam.
  28. 100 degrees at the beach
    Let’s hide in the cool
    of the ocean, when the sand
    scorches our bare skin.
  29. a reviewer’s eye
    The ability
    to spot talent, flaws, passion,
    potential, mistakes.
  30. face race
    She wouldn’t dare step
    out without a dab of blush,
    lipstick and liner.
  31. keep america dutiful
    Picture a nation
    that crowds its polls and teaches
    its young as a norm.
  32. the trout was innocent
    The eager scamp dropped
    the fish on an untended
    foot. She yelped and fled.
  33. the fireworks continue
    Firecrackers bang
    through the night, lit by tempers
    on loosened triggers.
  34. becoming undone
    They shared space, yet kept
    their distance, unable to
    find the words to meet.
  35. after the service, before the church picnic
    Parson Wilkinson
    sped through a shorter prayer when
    he was too hungry.
  36. stomp the pool
    Little bathers romp
    in 3-inch water, splashing
    and laughing in waves.
  37. garden trespassers
    The fresh produce aisle
    attracted furry and winged
    shoplifters to feast.
  38. vacation from beeps
    “This cabin,” the dad
    declared, “is off limits to
    phones, gadgets and gear.”
  39. the fallow corporate farm
    In the dim and dust,
    rows of cubicles remain
    unmanned, untended.
  40. weather extreme
    Blistering heat wave
    interrupted by clanging
    thunder and harsh storms.
  41. modern meditation
    If peace and bliss can’t
    come through breathing and yoga,
    give me Valium, stat.
  42. making ends meet
    What bills get paid and
    don’t seems silly when children’s
    bellies rumble on.
  43. strange stirrings
    Once she got ahold
    of his heart, she made it dance
    and race at her will.
  44. visual communion
    They stared into each
    other’s eyes, comfortably
    alone from the world.
  45. songs among the nothings
    She spoke like a jazz
    sax solo. Her audience
    of one begged for more.
  46. all you need is
    Makes the world go ’round.
    Is a many splendored thing.
    Is blind. Conquers all.
  47. flawless perception
    They were never flaws
    to her, but more like worn-in
    quirks to be adored.
  48. sentiment immortal
    His love refused to
    lie dormant, creeping up through
    soul cracks to sunlight.
  49. more vulnerable than venerable
    True love scares me, but
    I have found it scarier
    to go without it.
  50. no more empathy
    The mob grew in size
    as disgruntled users called
    for firing squads.
  51. if not for the tall blades
    The sidewalk cracks were
    hidden behind the weeds and
    heaps of dry branches.
  52. business envy
    The drone longed for air.
    The field agent longed for rest.
    The jobless, for work.
  53. solar system refugee
    A steel probe hurtled
    toward deep space, guided by where
    it had once surveyed.
  54. a history once whispered
    The technicians put
    in a bare slab where once stood
    a bronze champion.
  55. darkness at the edges
    Gloom descends, not in
    a sudden wave, but as a
    creeping fog of dread.
  56. the bounty
    Her broad bonnet at
    the window meant a basket
    of unwanted squash.
  57. a drink of dust
    Rows of seeds crawl out
    of the baked earth to breathe their
    last before dying.
  58. the gymnast’s lament
    A slip becomes a
    deduction, and a small fall
    into a big plunge.
  59. the boldest steps
    The boldest steps are
    often the quietest ones,
    tiptoeing forward.
  60. track star
    Speakers bop, earbuds
    pop, an infectious rhythm
    comes with a tight riff.
  61. two feet high
    The champion stands
    above others, hand over
    heart, beaming proudly.
  62. whispers
    Once in a while, a
    few rumors slip past the wall
    of cynicism.
  63. tuning up by the stove
    One pot simmers, a
    pan warms up, the cutting board
    groans with chopped items.
  64. interplanetary roadtrip
    Curiosity
    brings us to Mars. Let’s drive to
    the new horizon.
  65. the universe makes no sense
    We unite to make
    great things, yet spar over slights
    real and imagined.
  66. a start and a finish line aren’t enough
    No more plain races.
    Add hurdles, pace car, pursuit,
    targets and synchro.
  67. the dozer
    The salesman pitched his
    wares to the audience, save
    for one sleeping gent.
  68. shopper’s lament
    Cashier wasted time
    ringing up coupons, time she
    could have been clipping.
  69. ask not for whom the school bell tolls
    They played in the yard
    somberly. Soon, the school year
    would claim their free time.
  70. the modern crusades
    They shopped and shunned as
    a congregation, secure
    in their holy cause.
  71. a bit overloaded
    The ones struggled down
    the circuit, the zeroes kept
    still. Micro meltdown.
  72. man’s best fiend
    The schnauzer snuck out
    to dance in the rain, leaving
    mud tracks back inside.
  73. force of habitual reading
    About 12 pages
    into the mystery, he
    took a sip of tea.
  74. sponsor saturation
    After the ad came
    a promotion, then a paid
    message and come-on.
  75. though the squirrels had it first
    The bulldozers left
    in their wake a picturesque
    park where kids could romp.
  76. missteps among the suvs
    The marching band sweats
    and struts in the parking lot
    as the field is mowed.
  77. pumped
    The bodybuilder
    in the mirror had once been
    a shadow of doubt.
  78. all eyes front
    A gaggle of new
    faces stared from rows of desks
    at the scared teacher.
  79. the stork 2012
    Delivering tots
    requires tracking codes, thumb
    scans and good earplugs.
  80. deferred admissions
    Lead by example,
    a great ideal that falters
    among flawed rulers.
  81. tics
    Wash the hands, scrub the
    hands, flex the knee, check the phone,
    wash the hands, glance left …
  82. opera of the times
    The fat lady skips
    the aria to wheeze from
    poor health management.
  83. like a warm itchy blanket
    I wrap myself in
    hate and look upon the world
    with mistrustful eyes.
  84. trudging the campaign trail
    The candidate knocked,
    but the dweller had no clue
    it was time to vote.
  85. hurricane party
    The hardy few stayed
    behind to mix cocktails and
    serenade the wind.
  86. decision day
    Which candidate? Do
    I stay or flee? Ignore or
    take call? Nap or jog?
  87. it shouldn’t be this nice
    Hurricane nearby
    sometimes produces crazy
    beautiful weather.
  88. the homework begins
    Read two books, write three
    papers, dissect a worm, solve
    the worksheet. First week.
  89. yule celebrate now
    Now that back-to-school
    season is over, stores can
    focus on … Christmas.
  90. hidden flasks and other rituals
    The season ticket
    holder took a little nip
    in case his prayer failed.
  91. knock knock who’s there it’s leaves
    Along came fall to
    the party, early with a
    flashy ensemble.
  92. in honor of 70-hour work weeks
    Spend the holiday
    planning how to do the same
    work in fewer days.
  93. evolution of candidate support
    “Smith for Congress,” once
    a yard sign, now ironic
    temporary tat.
  94. the city on the edge of foreclosure
    Abandoned buildings
    along the one-way streets waved
    goodbye to locals.
  95. the trend is bucked
    Rather than follow
    the crowd, the freshman opened
    a book for pleasure.
  96. how to win at stomach punching
    Aim low. No, lower.
    Administer repeated
    blows. Always go first.
  97. at times, she misses him
    The empty spot on
    the couch, the missing footsteps
    behind her, the fuzz.
  98. twilight of the scarecrow
    The seeds have risen
    and left the site. The birds peck
    at harvested ground.
  99. the vikings of new
    Clad in costumes and
    wielding props, they conquer the
    stage and football field.
  100. an extra 12 years
    Had they survived, would
    they want to live where mistrust
    and madness flourish?
  101. a visit from the ghost of james buchanan
    “Be more playful,” he
    commanded to the snores of
    the slumbering dolt.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 24

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

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  1. post-production absurdities
    In writing the script
    and shooting the film, do they
    dream of awards shows?
  2. they’ll never flap in this town again
    Nominees’ tummies
    eat high-powered butterflies
    for nervous breakfast.
  3. a taste of glamour
    Let us peek in on
    our glitterati in their
    native habitat.
  4. collection obsession
    What we don’t have gives
    way to what we want to have
    until we’re buried.
  5. martini time
    Gin, and a hint of
    vermouth
    , with maybe olive.
    Drink liberally.
  6. surplus day
    This day can be the
    start of something new or the
    closing of doors past.
  7. the winter of shorts
    Spring may come in like
    heat wave, but who would notice?
    Global warming wins.
  8. the politics of bombardment
    The barrage of ads
    clogs the airwaves like mutant
    lint, blinding viewers.
  9. the neighbors are at it again
    The cops weren’t called as
    the couple’s disturbance was
    just angry texting.
  10. faded melodies
    If I squint my ears,
    they can detect a love song
    crooned so long ago.
  11. loss is loss
    She looked to the bed
    on the floor, empty, quiet,
    someone was missing.
  12. puppy couture
    No dog is complete
    without a hat or scarf and
    no more dignity.
  13. confessions in a closed office
    Perfectionism
    is killing me slowly. A
    mistake that endures.
  14. inspirations
    Beauty, melodies,
    a joke, solitude, childhood
    memory, deadlines.
  15. try, then give up
    If at first you don’t
    succeed, turn on the coffee
    pot and drink a cup.
  16. leaves of clover and shoes of horses
    Sometimes, the only
    luck you need hides inside the
    twinkle of an eye.
  17. ranch of the dust bunnies
    Uninhibited
    and roaming freely across
    the vast hardwood plains.
  18. five on five
    Dribble and pass, run
    and shoot. Block and pick. Never
    back down on the court.
  19. faster she breathes
    Their fingers touch, and
    her breath quickens. Can she hear
    his pulse racing, too?
  20. the squash adoption
    The motley squadron
    of harvested produce waits
    to fly to kitchens.
  21. egos with knives
    The chef bellowed at
    the dishwashers. The waiters
    scurried for cover.
  22. listened out
    The words ran slower
    and slower, hanging in the
    air like sonic clouds.
  23. leaves of the trinity
    The unwashed and the
    rogues came to hear preaching from
    St. Patrick himself.
  24. fading pages
    Read all about the
    rag that went from riches to
    irrelevancy.
  25. bundles of neuroses
    We stand naked in
    hopes that the other one sees
    beauty in our flaws.
  26. an author, of sorts
    The young scribe had earned
    thousands of downloads and Web
    notoriety.
  27. green pancakes
    Breakfast took on a
    tinge of spring to celebrate
    friends and renewal.
  28. for who i am
    Seeing myself through
    her eyes gives me pause. Am I
    neurotic and weird?
  29. age isn’t just a number
    They picked their cherished
    songs from the jukebox that spanned
    the many decades.
  30. a square lens
    The photographer
    seized bits and pieces of joy
    for her phone scrapbook.
  31. a fine listener
    The tall bottle poured
    another glass of cab while
    she shared her day’s news.
  32. the hanging judge
    The bench welcomed back
    the renegade magistrate
    who thumped with the best.
  33. the fullest plate
    Lives can be filled with
    opportunities, loved ones,
    or distractions. Pick.
  34. stances are
    He kept the world out
    with folded arms and earbuds,
    aloof and unmoved.
  35. the rejection notice
    Dear poet, your verse
    is worse and makes us averse
    to publishing it.
  36. casual tuesday
    Style has given way
    to casual chic to a
    casual grotesque.
  37. lamb on deck
    Such a warm spring feels
    great now, but will be hellish
    come late summertime.
  38. beware the fools of april
    The unfunny spill
    their trite amusements upon
    a suspecting world.
  39. a piece of the action
    Racers drive by in
    a blur. Return every few
    minutes. Blind finish.
  40. a generation of brats
    Coddle away, you
    misguided parents. We will
    all suffer later.
  41. the temporal triangle
    The clock runs backwards
    while waiting and waiting in
    the doctor’s office.
  42. forgotten silence
    Only when the mind
    can slip free can we feel the
    embrace of stillness.
  43. inane clown posse
    Fanatics spend their
    time perfecting painted sneers,
    gruesome visages.
  44. rolling thunder
    His legs lost in war,
    he greeted park visitors
    with poisonous slurs.
  45. putting out embers
    The CEO called
    the manager who texted
    the peon who slept.
  46. the somewhat good ol’ days
    Listen up, children,
    to hear tales of days that came
    post-prosperity.
  47. the littlest disasters
    Mayhem and mistakes
    swarm misbegotten souls who
    topple under stress.
  48. one fun pass, please
    A boy builds his dreams
    from cardboard boxes and lets
    the world in to play.
  49. three bites
    The French take three bites,
    I have been told, to stay thin.
    We just bite bigger.
  50. a country boy from the city
    He could not mask his
    down-home ways with fancy suits
    and urbane patter.
  51. don’t forget to tip your nerds
    The gurus and the
    campers held forth over beers
    and bright ideas.
  52. broadway in nashville
    The neon remains
    unlit as travelers walk
    past bar after bar.
  53. inner journey
    The voyage takes us
    to an unknown land, the soul
    without signposts.
  54. render unto others
    Calculating my
    fair share costs more than simply
    emptying pockets.
  55. not even a wide spot
    The cashier eyed the
    road wearily, waiting for
    her next lost driver.
  56. digital ghosts
    How we must look as
    we talk to unseen people
    for unseen reasons.
  57. afternoon pick-me-up
    Slowly, the drones came
    to the counter seeking their
    steaming hot fixes.
  58. another round of flapjacks
    The girls and boy chirped
    for more pancakes as fast as
    Mama could fry them up.
  59. wastes of time
    Each second squandered
    by 7 billion people
    devours lifetimes.
  60. a park under siege
    Gangs roamed the city
    park, but Batman was nowhere
    nearby. Gotham falls.
  61. no child left to leave behind
    The town elders held
    grudges. Pupils went blind from
    miseducation.
  62. skirmishes in the race war
    The invisible
    fault line shakes the residents,
    wrecks institutions.
  63. turned around
    The photographer
    snaps their family moment,
    backs to nosy eyes.
  64. calm and clear
    The hundreds lost to
    raging winds would have loved to
    see this sunny day.
  65. furrows in the yard
    Negative space, where
    trenches of dirt become lines
    of sprouts and sunshine.
  66. headspace
    The crowded go to
    extremes to find peace, quiet,
    places to think hard.
  67. dirt nip
    Compost heap awaits
    transfer to battleground where
    it aids seed forces.
  68. anthems to the old
    No one celebrates
    the collected wisdom or
    gumption of elders.
  69. the corner market news
    The sweet potatoes
    spied on strawberries that were
    minding their business.
  70. mat chat
    The universe speaks
    through the body in yoga.
    It says, loudly, “Ow!”
  71. lettuce be thankful
    Waves of fresh green and
    red and yellow and orangish-
    brown swirled the produce.
  72. ears everywhere
    Long before a vibe
    became a reality,
    the crier had sensed.
  73. open-door policy
    They came on foot, by
    bicycle and car to gawk
    at the stranger’s wares.
  74. presence
    Focusing on now,
    time does not stand still but fades
    from our existence.
  75. lines on a map
    The squirrels run rampant
    across political zones
    and property lines.
  76. the need to play in a word sandbox
    Syllables pour out
    like grains of sand, building book
    castles, word spires.
  77. standards beyond standards
    Perfection remains
    an elusive minx, never
    to be caught or tamed.
  78. gadget fever
    Shiny and new and
    still in the box, beckoning
    with beeps and flashes.
  79. spas like us
    The mud is relaxed.
    The towels, fluffed and piled high.
    Bring us a chai tea.
  80. beginner’s curve
    Pressure for the slow
    witted and tardy, racing
    to stay average.
  81. the war on learning
    Who can excel when
    children fight viciously and
    parents defend them?
  82. the boy in the mirror
    Looking into the
    glass, I spy a trembling lad
    staring at the floor.
  83. what to do with ripe tomatoes
    Plump tomatoes blush
    with naked abandon, as
    they get downright sauced.
  84. open, not closed
    The best things in life
    aren’t always free, but open
    to all who seek them.
  85. literature in stereo
    The author gently
    unwinds his novel into
    her waiting earbuds.
  86. on the nature of sass
    Only later would
    the gentleman come to learn
    that her sass was love.
  87. try, try, then give up
    Persistence can win
    in the end, but surrender
    can subtly subvert.
  88. paralysis
    People parade by.
    Everything happens without
    guidance from within.
  89. beach countdown
    Sandy shores await,
    once the bags are packed, the tank
    is filled, the work done.
  90. while her grandmother was under the knife
    Waiting for news from
    the surgeon, the granddaughter
    passed time giving blood.
  91. around sunset
    The duo played some
    Beatles songs and hummed along,
    sitting on the porch.
  92. an endless supply of ones and zeroes
    The ink-stained wretches
    looked at computers in awe
    and with creeping dread.
  93. lazy bones
    Neither the spirit
    nor the flesh are willing when
    it’s a long weekend.
  94. the untamed horizon
    Beyond what they could
    see was a place of danger
    and great mystery.
  95. beyond service
    In their graves, they rest
    quietly after fighting
    for those to be born.
  96. summer at the swimmin’ hole
    Skinny dipping ain’t
    for kicks, but to get cool as
    fast as possible.
  97. bugs’ bounty
    Trespassers in the
    yard must pay a toll in blood
    to winged collectors.
  98. a right proper sandwich
    Southern BLT
    comes without the B or the
    L and tastes just fine.
  99. waiting on the ac
    The wheel burns, the air
    smothers, the seat belt latch scalds,
    and the vinyl stings.
  100. hot on the trail of the ice cream truck
    He has popsicles
    and ice creams galore, but you
    have to catch him first.
  101. sandy sojourn
    Only place hotter
    than home is the beach. Why do
    we go there for fun?

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 23

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

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  1. attacks from within
    Bullets and blades can
    hurt, but a tiny microbe
    can fell a giant.
  2. style points
    Points to be given
    for appearance, poise, dance moves
    and elocution.
  3. occupy sanity
    Worse than protestors
    are citizens trying to
    suppress their neighbors.
  4. not a thousand words
    The picture on the
    mantel reminds me of what’s
    truly important.
  5. gobbler performance review
    Memo to turkeys:
    Please report to barnyard for
    final, final test.
  6. orchard of pickers
    Daintily they snatched
    the apples, where pros would have
    gone for sheer volume.
  7. reverse groundhog day
    The hermit comes out,
    not to check his shadow, but
    to forage for beers.
  8. bowing to pressure
    Practice time sped by
    as the novice sawed through notes
    on the violin.
  9. doom buggy
    Starts with empty cubes
    and progresses into full-
    blown sick day of aches.
  10. beyond blessings
    Be thankful for those
    who are thankless. Help them find
    ways to be thankful.
  11. shoppers’ delight
    The lure of savings
    proves too great, even for those
    who should be asleep.
  12. the question that is never quite settled
    Half the state pulls one
    way, half the state … the other.
    Tug of endless war.
  13. the wood pile
    Cords of wood await
    their turn to burn brightly in
    a warm fireplace.
  14. a light dusting
    Frantic were the moms
    who sought the last loaf of bread,
    the last thing of milk.
  15. forecast of madness
    Unseasonably
    warm fall turns to snowy winter.
    Where are my mittens?
  16. answer hazy
    The crystal ball took
    a deep breath before getting
    to the misfortune.
  17. jangle all the way
    Radio station
    that plays Christmas music in
    October? Humbug!
  18. mario 2011
    Plumber turned fighter
    laid off; job now handled by
    remote-controlled drone.
  19. dear santa 2011
    Just help those who need
    it most, and bring joy and love
    to children worldwide.
  20. honest labor
    People who do real
    work don’t have time to debate
    whether it’s real work.
  21. keys to success
    Concern for others
    over self. Leave things better
    than how you found them.
  22. tapping pencils
    Restless students eye
    the clock and calendar in
    wait for Christmas break.
  23. the pizza dilemma
    The more diners, the
    more time it takes to select
    three damn toppings.
  24. the backyard invader
    Without regard for
    boundaries, the silent scout
    leaps atop the car.
  25. what hope love
    Is the hope for love
    a quest, or is it hope that
    love brings on its own?
  26. santa drawl
    The redneck Santa
    spat before the next youngun
    hopped on for a spell.
  27. winterizing
    Extra layers can
    make the difference, whether
    from wool or from fat.
  28. then one foggy christmas eve in alabama
    Rudolph, with your nose
    so bright, won’t you hand over
    your papers or else?
  29. first world blues
    The first worlders had
    entangled themselves in a
    slew of petty woes.
  30. over the fence
    The weekly exchange
    of hellos maintains the truce
    between old neighbors.
  31. the book that never was
    Fifty thousand words
    deliver a tawdry tale
    on a blank tablet.
  32. if mistletoe could talk
    If mistletoe could
    talk, it would complain about
    bad breath all around.
  33. i had this moment of clarity
    I had this moment
    of clarity, but it left
    with sobriety.
  34. a random assortment of dueling pairs
    Every day brings a
    bowl game with one so-so squad
    against another.
  35. sleigh pre-flight check
    First thing to go if
    Santa’s sleigh is too heavy?
    All those batteries.
  36. lyrical stroll
    The songmaker found
    the words to say “I love you”
    walking to the curb.
  37. rolling clouds on the horizon
    Waves of cumulus
    surge in the distance as I
    scan for turbulence.
  38. family circus
    Little boy wanders
    neighborhood when he should be
    fetching Mommy’s beer.
  39. peanuts
    Gang of juvenile
    philosophers hangs out with
    fanciful beagle.
  40. garfield
    Lasagna-loving
    cat spends lifetime chasing off
    bachelor owner’s gals.
  41. joy
    A heart beats with new
    fervor, open to the world
    in all its glory.
  42. calvin and hobbes
    Rambunctious lad and
    wise tiger explore cosmos
    from their own backyard.
  43. doonesbury
    Generations of
    well-spoken, wry families
    in the throes of life.
  44. the boondocks
    Huey and Riley
    find suburbia too white.
    (Prefer the cartoon.)
  45. the far side
    Blah blah blah Ginger
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah Ginger blah blah.
  46. those who never stray far
    Those who never stray
    far from home know the best spots
    of a tiny pond.
  47. the brick pile
    The load feels lighter
    after unloading burdens
    from the duffel bag.
  48. the year of magical doing
    Come along with me,
    not to bear witness, but to
    share in the journey.
  49. in the guise of a huckster
    The cheery come-on
    masks a nefarious goal,
    to sell crap to you.
  50. a frosty departure
    The famed snowman left
    in a cloud of flakes for a
    less chilly hideout.
  51. an investment of brain power
    The crossword puzzle
    didn’t seem as alluring
    as the TV set.
  52. evolution of eating
    Some went hungry. Then
    most were fed badly. Must weigh
    freshness with access.
  53. the new new south
    Traditions define
    and strangle a defiant
    chunk of this country.
  54. the see-through forest
    Up the trail, he could
    see the ridge through the trees stripped
    of any pretense.
  55. patterns of tan
    The coffee cup held
    both beauty and warm/topped with
    an intricate stamp.
  56. cheering with an accent
    The cries rang out clear
    all over the state. Roll Tide!
    Or is it Reauxll Tide?
  57. roll to victory
    Bama’s pluck and grit
    have writ her name in crimson
    flame
    . Fight on, fight on!
  58. ignorance is
    When we have no more
    questions to answer, will we
    remain curious?
  59. loltrends
    One meme said to the
    other meme, “Start copying
    me!” Each was unique.
  60. pay no attention to the man behind the digital curtain
    Dorothy and her
    friends were surprised to find a
    jive robot instead.
  61. the unfolding of the universe
    The physics students
    discovered laws of motion
    while remaining still.
  62. the infectiousness of youth
    Dreams fly as fast as
    shooting stars, hurled by young minds
    unhindered by doubt.
  63. to be memorialized
    Not all leaders were
    saints, but revered for rising
    above human sins.
  64. the covert conversation
    Will no one bring up
    the elephant in the room
    that’s about to move?
  65. undomesticated animals
    Domesticated
    pets get fat, while feral ones
    are doomed to sad lives.
  66. modern inconveniences
    Long lines, bad signal,
    manmade ingredients, high
    gas prices, boredom.
  67. julie
    A childhood friend grows
    into a fighter, only
    to lose to cancer.
  68. make way for dragons
    From a distant shore,
    the winged beast swoops in to eat
    any stray townsfolk.
  69. an endless supply of hot water
    Teacups rattle at
    the prospect of liquid and
    leaves stirring within.
  70. virtual villages
    Door to door in the
    cyber communities means
    you can’t scrounge sugar.
  71. loose lips
    The office gossip
    thrives on chaos and lives for
    schadenfreude and snark.
  72. the persistent caller
    He would ring up the
    clerk throughout the week, only
    to find the line dead.
  73. the warrior class
    The soldiers trudge through
    their ordered routine of long
    days, boredom and shock.
  74. the accidental lab of the fifth dimension
    Somehow, the students
    found laws of the universe
    heretofore unknown.
  75. pastry crash
    The sculpted tower
    of sugar shatters into
    bitter, sweet pieces.
  76. the lambs have stopped screaming
    The flock of fluffy
    sheep crowded toward the streams of
    grass on the bare plain.
  77. the state of dreams
    Some dream of escape,
    others of the pa/and some
    see nothing asleep.
  78. if she could talk to the animals
    The caregiver wraps
    booboos on scraped paws and sings
    of quiet jungles.
  79. failure by proxy
    Not so much bang and
    whimper, but fading passion
    and indifference.
  80. behind the storm
    They crawled out, grateful
    to be alive and thinking
    about death’s house call.
  81. the loneliest group in the world
    The broken parties
    pulled up their chairs to confide
    tales of hiding out.
  82. tech city
    Beings from the near
    future swarmed the terminals
    to download updates.
  83. the real contest
    The battle is not
    on the turf but on the air,
    dueling commercials.
  84. a sudden bout of homesickness
    Strange smells and noisy
    motors, loud neighbors and cramped
    closet. Time to flee.
  85. woman of the hour
    She let the party
    and the presents slip by for
    time with friends and fam.
  86. the last pile of leaves
    Bits of autumn strewn
    about the lawn, stragglers in
    a too warm winter.
  87. the long lunch
    The rush passed as the
    diners evaporated,
    leaving us to chat.
  88. the meaning of gifts
    This one came from the
    drugstore, the others from the
    bargain bin at Zayre.
  89. consumption
    A sickness worldwide
    that causes blockage of the
    soul with gross clutter.
  90. cupid 2012
    He’s busy adding
    to his Pinterest boa/lost
    his bow in poker.
  91. fallen diva
    Beautiful voice cracks
    with the passage of time. No
    one can hear her dirge.
  92. love is in the despair
    Longing makes love both
    sweeter and bittersweet, a
    tender trap with heart.
  93. halloween for singles
    Bags of unsold sweets
    fill shopping carts for true love
    in lonely bellies.
  94. learning a lesson in learning
    Repetition builds
    understanding. Thus, repeat
    it so they get it.
  95. the notes still ring
    The sheet music fades
    from sight as the lights go out.
    The chorus sings on.
  96. domesticity 2012
    Her perfect life came
    not from a fairy tale but
    a Pinterest board.
  97. filters
    Firewall, Caller
    ID, peephole, V-chip, bleeped
    words, pop-up blockers.
  98. the gauntlet of fame
    Star exits limo
    to meet fans, stroll the carpet
    and talk on TV.
  99. delivering lol
    One silly picture
    carries joy to strangers who
    like to watch online.
  100. get inspired
    The muse crashed the dawn
    reverie while hung over
    from her carousing.
  101. the scars run together
    After a while, the
    scars run together like a
    tough skin tapestry.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 22

Monday, November 14th, 2011

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  1. to put it in perspective
    The weighing of life’s
    petty injustices pales
    next to real trauma.
  2. the busy bee
    The busy bee flew
    to her appointments, leaving
    a pollen of smiles.
  3. the well in the meadow
    He would visit the
    crumbling well often, hoping
    to refresh his joy.
  4. a repository in one hand
    All the world’s knowledge
    came in a small, battery-
    powered wizard’s box.
  5. summer’s last gasp
    One last jump in the
    pond, one last afternoon storm,
    one last ice cream cone.
  6. the path most taken
    She followed closely
    behind on the wooded trail,
    seeking only peace.
  7. the way of the economic dodo
    The capitalists
    shuffled their feet, unable
    to stay with the beat.
  8. the team reconfigured
    The right fielder went
    home, the shortstop dropped back, and
    the coach prayed for rain.
  9. precision sifting
    A light dusting of
    flour coated the counter
    top, the baker, too.
  10. bread and butter
    “What makes you tick?” she
    asked. “Cynicism,” he said.
    “My bread and butter.”
  11. a dream on the couch
    Lost on an island,
    the palms sway softly above …
    till the alarm calls.
  12. where once was peace
    The factions failed to
    realize their vast divides
    as they shared borders.
  13. temperate insanity
    Summer felt like fall
    on a spring-like afternoon
    before winter struck.
  14. pacing optional
    Eyes on you, notes a
    blur, microphone feedback and
    a feeling of doom.
  15. under oath
    The promises you
    make reveal your true nature
    once you’ve broken them.
  16. the birthday girl
    The birthday girl grew
    into a birthday woman
    with little girl dreams.
  17. the unattended library
    The books went unread,
    the magazines piled up and
    the reading halted.
  18. the test of time
    Good writing brings laughs
    for years. Bad writing brings tears
    every single day.
  19. 1984, the short version
    Big Brother is so
    bossy. Let’s love in secret.
    Rats clamped to my face.
  20. choose your own adventure
    The same old same old
    versus new and exciting
    shouldn’t be tricky.
  21. soon it will be fall
    The brutal heat will
    lift, and a swirl of cool will
    soothe our burnt bodies.
  22. whatever happened to …
    The best friends sometimes
    disappear into a haze
    of our yesteryears.
  23. how can real life compete?
    Real life versus life
    online. One matters, one is
    a parade of farce.
  24. all stacked up
    Opportunities
    hide within the papers stacked
    precariously.
  25. tales of the future
    Dining companions
    waited eagerly for each
    fortune to be read.
  26. pack up and move on
    Job to job, town to
    town, the hired gun moves with
    the whims of commerce.
  27. the comedy gene
    Some people are born
    funny. Some people are born.
    Some people are. Ha!
  28. wood chips and vinegar
    It’s not the rub, but
    the preparation. Not the
    sauces but the meat.
  29. the fighting butterflies
    The 5-year-olds were
    most fearsome, wearing little
    helmets and jerseys.
  30. beach sunset
    The pale sun oozes
    into the waters, melting
    away like sherbet.
  31. not so laborious
    Working for less is
    tiring, but not as much
    as unemployment.
  32. the branch that took down civilization
    The tropical storm
    swung a tree at the power
    lines, and all went dark.
  33. casualties of a blackout
    Milk, frozen pizza,
    eggs, cheeses, jars of sauce and
    homemade potstickers.
  34. unlearnable lessons
    Happy idiots
    skate through life without ever
    learning to play nice.
  35. along the sidelines
    The marching band warms
    up, the pom-pons shake, and the
    kicker says a prayer.
  36. art is all around
    The paintings are flat,
    the photos colorless, but
    the sidewalks burst forth.
  37. in remembrance of 9/11, 2001
    The towers still stand
    in spirit. America
    remembers, moves on.
  38. fury below the surface
    In digging up the
    poisonous vine, you find the
    root is buried deep.
  39. the duckling who would not get wet
    The timid duckling
    tested the waters and found
    them splashably kind.
  40. karma points
    Collect them all but
    don’t count on redeeming them
    till fate allows it.
  41. caught in a flash
    The gods of rock found
    their stolen souls matted and
    framed for mere gawkers.
  42. beyond the summit
    Looking out over
    the world, he found the top to
    be a lonely spot.
  43. the gentlemen who were not gentlemen
    They clawed and stole to
    achieve power, finding the
    rewards less than sound.
  44. the 11 true paths
    The lost shepherd walked
    the road to enlightenment
    when he found a fork …
  45. cue the orchestra
    Handing out trophies
    is harder than it looks when
    actors, flaks watching.
  46. haunted inc.
    The screams of budget
    bloodshed and staff slashings knife
    through hallways of ghosts.
  47. gullywashers
    Tires crush puddles
    to make little tsunamis
    along flooded streets.
  48. wrong turns aplenty
    We learn so much from
    crazy, stupid, immature
    choices. Hopefully.
  49. a sense of not belonging
    All eyes stared at the
    two teen boys on the sidewalk,
    in fear and wonder.
  50. fighting cell by cell
    The patient patient
    endured the chemicals and
    harsh radiation.
  51. dented expectations
    What should have been and
    what is, an ever-changing
    series of letdowns.
  52. that mother nature has a sense of humor
    Who left all these dead
    leaves in the yard, on the car
    and in the gutter?
  53. rise of the pumpkins
    They lurk behind vines,
    in lowly patches, under
    piles of hay. Orange beasts.
  54. the witch and the wardrobe
    The sorceress had
    nothing to wear but black, which
    screamed “I’m a downer.”
  55. wisps of escaping tea
    A porcelain cup
    with a few sips of herbal
    tea cooled by degrees.
  56. to harvest and harvest not
    In came veggies by
    the bushel, and sometimes, an
    unfortunate mouse.
  57. kickoff in 13 minutes
    Impatient shoppers
    clutched their bags of pork rinds and
    cases of light beer.
  58. the beauty of a bright blue sky
    The sun plays lightly
    on my nose, which detects hints
    of fall in the air.
  59. skyscraper school
    The elevator
    stopped at each department for
    new highs in learning.
  60. running on time
    The train disgorged its
    huddled cargo, closed its doors.
    No one said a word.
  61. turning of phrase
    The waitress listed
    the specials in her lilt and
    we knew where we were.
  62. in the next cosmo quiz
    She patiently taught
    him the basics: gaming, pets,
    coffee and doodles.
  63. rumble in the hinterlands
    Mighty were the teams
    that stormed the field, called the toss
    and clashed at the line.
  64. call to the antiestablishmentarians
    The youths brought their signs,
    their whistles and their voices
    to bring down the man.
  65. trail of leaves
    Bike tires crunched the
    leaves in their path, as autumn
    prepared for hard times.
  66. a duty to be brave
    He didn’t flinch when
    they tried to silence him with
    intimidation.
  67. a heart under wraps
    She kept her love well
    hidden, but it still peeked out
    occasionally.
  68. the cider cup rules
    A cup of fresh-pressed
    cider awaits the weary
    field hand at day’s end.
  69. the new southern hospitality
    The strangers picked our
    fields, built our homes, staffed our plants
    till we kicked them out.
  70. fall of the visionary
    No one paid heed to
    his ideas, till they leapt
    into our noggins.
  71. saturday priorities
    Once the bride and groom
    left the church, the guests turned back
    to the football game.
  72. a full dustpan
    The housekeeper swept
    up shards of promises that
    had broken last night.
  73. somewhat occupied
    The classes warred, and
    the well-to-do had a good
    chuckle at it all.
  74. no blog is an island
    Each site taps the next
    one on the shoulder to check
    if they’re connected.
  75. sauna of the south
    What better way to
    cool down after muggy day
    than temperature crash?
  76. remedial seasons
    A brisk fall day in
    the South comes long after fall
    began. We are slow.
  77. the white box
    The lovely bread that
    scents the air and steams when cut
    came from a machine.
  78. calling plays from the recliner
    Yelling loud enough
    should get that lazy defense
    on TV in gear.
  79. a healer in waiting
    She would rather cut
    people open to heal them
    than cut them apart.
  80. mind body one
    No disconnect, no
    one or other, just renewed
    harmony of self.
  81. talking is easy
    Talking is easy.
    Listening requires you
    to hold your own tongue.
  82. sketch book
    Line drawings fill the
    notebook with charcoal smudges
    and hints of insight.
  83. the instant storyteller
    Her stories are three
    sentences long with all the
    drama of a book.
  84. the treat is in the trick
    Hurl the eggs, and roll
    the houses. Let the urchins
    make mischief all night.
  85. puppetry from the past
    The Muppets return
    to a world with Auto-Tune
    and cell phone genies.
  86. the cult down the street
    Their cause is holy,
    undaunted by loud rebukes
    and simple logic.
  87. waking fears
    What’s scarier, the
    fears with our eyes shut or the
    ones in front of us?
  88. the patron saint of birmingham
    You can tell him by
    his robes and his soft words, his
    kindness to strangers.
  89. revels amongst the dead
    Fear not the rattle
    of bones and spirits, for they
    seek solace with us.
  90. envy not
    Envy not. What we
    hold are blessings not burdens,
    resilience not fear.
  91. secret to a good pb&j
    Peanut butter in
    every corner, jelly thick
    and evenly spread.
  92. pre-kickoff butterflies
    The teams are ready,
    but we are not. One hour
    to crown a victor.
  93. the entanglement of southern roots
    So deep the roots grow
    that no room is left for change,
    progress, tolerance.
  94. the roof on a brisk fall evening
    The muggers look like
    ants; the uninhibited
    gaze from their windows.
  95. twilight of the empire
    The mighty nation
    slid toward oblivion when
    its people lost sight.
  96. a mess is still a moment I can seize
    All will be well, e-
    ven after the promises
    broken to yourself
    .
  97. the cost of doing shadiness
    Back room deals led to
    erosion of trust and a
    ballooning of debt.
  98. bye bye billions
    Jefferson County
    had leadership bankruptcy,
    then real bankruptcy.
  99. game over in happy valley
    Monsters left to roam.
    And the final score: Football
    1, children 0.
  100. at the hops
    The connoisseurs with
    pretzel chokers drank fancy
    beers from wee glasses.
  101. the waiting game
    Her life moves forward
    without slowing down, but I
    hope to catch up soon.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 21

Friday, August 5th, 2011

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  1. the eggs-ecutioner
    One yolk screams in pain,
    while the other lies stunned in
    silence. Fried to death.
  2. eyes of the storm
    Cameras caught the herds
    of twisters stampeding through
    the defenseless towns.
  3. like so many matchsticks
    House after house, a
    school here, a church there, toppled,
    tossed, decimated.
  4. the cruellest month
    Goodbye, April. You
    were needlessly heartless and
    ripped the earth apart.
  5. the thin multihued line
    They came with shovels
    and water, prepared for the
    worst and found horror.
  6. they got him
    Navy Seals take out
    Public Enemy No.
    1. Justice at last.
  7. where the streets have no names
    The teen worker stoops
    to spray-paint the asphalt with
    the name of the road.
  8. walk on
    Can’t say where it is,
    but I know I’m going home.
    That’s where the hurt is.
  9. what lies beneath
    Among the rubble
    lies broken china, ruined
    clothes, maybe some hope.
  10. on guard from the looters
    The men with guns keep
    watch from looters, yet all that’s
    left are bricks and boards.
  11. setec astronomy
    The surprise became
    anticlimactic when the
    big secret wasn’t.
  12. you are my sunshine
    She passes me notes
    throughout the day that light up
    my darkest hours.
  13. how to bag in paper
    Heavy at bottom,
    cold with cold, squishy at top.
    Not really that hard.
  14. march of the mortarboards
    Come forward and get
    your piece of paper. It’s a
    ticket to somewhere.
  15. gotta get down on friday
    What happens when pop
    culture collides with online
    notoriety?
  16. the shortest spring
    For a week or so,
    the outdoors were a delight …
    till summer heat hit.
  17. no hazing
    The jazz club had a
    hot band, whiskey shots and no
    smoking permitted.
  18. the out-of-towners
    In the car they hopped,
    carefree adventures ahead
    on the highway out.
  19. a toddler’s worship
    The little boy in
    the jumpsuit ran among the
    pews in search of God.
  20. to prowl the jungle
    The little creature
    dreamt of hunts in the wild and
    running free, bounding.
  21. the recipe that takes the longest
    Three ounces of a
    missing ingredient means
    one more shopping trip.
  22. doomsday never happens on a weekend
    God would put doomsday
    on a Monday so He could
    see who went to church.
  23. written in the wind
    Lovely words have no
    place in a visual, non-
    stop society.
  24. bright city
    The glare overtakes
    the view, pierced by the solar
    flashes from afar.
  25. the tough road
    Easier to tear
    something down than build something
    up. Be a builder.
  26. x-ray vision
    Knowing people so
    well prevents mishaps, even as
    others are lured in.
  27. heat spell
    Sizzle, sizzle, burn
    and fizzle. Need a drink to
    mix with a swizzle.
  28. wikileaks 2021
    Pics of everyone’s
    genitals, old cell numbers
    and who we slept with.
  29. the methodology of caring
    Form a committee,
    then another, make a chart …
    Or help as needed.
  30. mindset
    The body is slumped
    in the cubicle chair; the
    mind lies on the beach.
  31. the lighter load
    The load in life seems
    pretty heavy, till you see
    someone being crushed.
  32. spokes people
    Armies on cycles
    hug the turns and revel in
    open-air freedom.
  33. words with friends
    The coven shared its
    secrets, whispers of truth that
    were concealed as dirt.
  34. some sacrifice
    It’s easy to show
    support of troops who have passed.
    Support the living.
  35. color me bad
    Being saintly does
    not fit; neither does being
    evil. Good and bad?
  36. states of being
    Schrödinger’s cat slept
    and yet did not sleep in the
    afternoon sunbeam.
  37. 3-digit days
    Hot isn’t the same
    as Alabama hot, which
    demands AC, tea.
  38. trimmed to the dirt
    They hacked at the land
    till all that was left were spots
    of light green and brown.
  39. love takes courage
    If hate takes fear and
    magnifies it, love takes cour-
    age and rewards it.
  40. sermon on the hillside
    Father Donovan
    blessed the sacrament, and the
    choir rose to sing.
  41. empty rooms
    No one has lived in
    the stately cottage for months
    as the weeds grow round.
  42. the respectable
    The respectable
    never sully themselves with
    the commoners much.
  43. school lunch 3.0
    No more tater tots
    or chocolate milk, just healthy
    food no child will touch.
  44. a gamble with the law
    Politicians and
    gangsters huddle to try to
    beat the legal house.
  45. trust issues
    Trust isn’t given,
    it’s earned. Or is it other
    way around? Faith … fate?
  46. fountains of youth
    A mad dash through the
    sprinkler, and then another.
    Giggles rain like drops.
  47. comfort breeds forgetfulness
    The plight of the storm-
    tossed is lost amid keeping
    track of mundane tasks.
  48. games of chance
    Bingo, poker, craps,
    roulette, slot machines, blackjack
    and state politics.
  49. 511 days till election day
    The debates have kicked
    off. Why should they wait till last
    minute to sling mud?
  50. till you’re safe and sound
    Could you not be sad?
    Could you not break down? After
    all, I won’t let go
  51. the forecast of doom
    Snowstorms and ice, hail
    and tornadoes, three-digit
    temps. Two seasons in.
  52. it’s good to be queen
    Gazing upon her
    subjects, she could not help but
    feel pity, contempt.
  53. texts from last week
    “Going 2 teh store.”
    “Will U get me some cookees?”
    “I M not yr slave!”
  54. spaceship mirth
    Golf ball of giants.
    Is it below par? No way.
    The club must be huge.
  55. drippy days
    The ice cream started
    running through the cone’s tip way
    before the first lick.
  56. all summer in a day
    Margot spends hours
    trapped in Venusian closet.
    Ultimate sunscreen.
  57. dark as a rule
    Navigation would
    be impossible save for
    headlights in blackout.
  58. the march of digital progress
    Ancient browser wrecks
    coded work of art. Time to
    upgrade, damn Luddite.
  59. elevated tweetup
    The birds perched on the
    power line, gossiping on
    the juiciest flaps.
  60. mother nature has the power
    Power blinks out once
    more. No TV, no laptop.
    And there goes the milk.
  61. the unwelcome stranger
    Immigrants welcome,
    as long as they smell OK,
    work hard, have papers.
  62. approach at 0 feet altitude
    Cars stuck in holding
    pattern circling for pick-ups
    of worn passengers.
  63. the untended yard
    The most noxious weed
    wasn’t in the ground, but out
    spreading seed elsewhere.
  64. snack attack
    The tiny candy
    bar pacified the tummy.
    Until the second.
  65. halftime 2011
    Break out the bands and
    the cheerleaders. We’re down by
    a lot, but not out.
  66. the watermelon patch
    It comes in red and
    green and cures the craving for
    spitting seeds around.
  67. the past in pixels
    The one gallery
    brought back moments from childhood,
    both joy and sorrow.
  68. a weird distance
    Seeing people you
    thought you knew well puts a weird
    distance between you.
  69. the freedom to
    Speak, move, assemble,
    disagree, vote, worship, bear
    arms, have a free press.
  70. summer harvest
    Into the basket
    leapt the tomatoes off the
    vines, the corn from stalks.
  71. the lightweight
    It took one beer to
    do him in. One more sip and
    he would’ve passed out.
  72. faux foe
    Not the virtual
    enemy that has all the
    luck, but your own fears.
  73. the house of no repute
    The foreclosed abode
    waits to be adopted as
    the weeds take over.
  74. cheap lunch date
    They shared a tuna
    sandwich, apple slices and
    an entire park.
  75. desert without sand
    The hills shimmered in
    the blistering sun. Green turned
    to waterless brown.
  76. pack of pugs
    They patrol the rooms
    together, snorting, sniffing,
    waiting for scratches.
  77. trees skinned alive
    Above the blue tarps
    are the missing treetops, shorn
    clean by tornadoes.
  78. barstool brigade
    The old timers sat
    and drank their cheap beer, whiling
    away their problems.
  79. the twist
    The twist turned out to
    be that everyone lived quite
    normally henceforth.
  80. trappings and such
    Mere trappings do not
    make the man, but only serve
    to ensnarl his soul.
  81. coming attractions
    The lights went down, the
    previews began, the viewers
    hushed, the magic flowed.
  82. over the hills and through the woods
    We wandered through the
    forest like lost children who
    never want to leave.
  83. doorstep to doorstep
    The tiny package
    moved through the pipes on its way
    to obsolescence.
  84. her name is mud
    The babbling brook calls
    to her as it digs into
    the dirt and the dust.
  85. only so much hustle
    Go! go! go! until
    the couch beckons, lulling you
    into deep slumber.
  86. listmania!
    Too many to-dos
    pull brain like taffy, stretched thin
    and icky sticky.
  87. a new horizon
    The ship sailed on, blind
    to the typhoons and monsters
    that lie in her path.
  88. sunflower sunrise
    Flowers brightened the
    morning at the market like
    a bouquet of rays.
  89. hearth strings
    The melodies of
    a violin filled the house
    and it felt like home.
  90. subtext is everything
    Gentle questions hide
    another agenda from
    those innocent ears.
  91. a distant boom
    Summer thunderstorm
    rolls by with great acclaim, leaves
    trail of low echoes.
  92. the soul of a soul singer
    She couldn’t escape
    the pain of living, yet her
    smoky voice lives on.
  93. the dare
    When a coward asks
    you to call him a coward
    to his face, do it.
  94. box lunch, lunch box
    The bento had not
    been to Japan, but carried
    a taste from far off.
  95. and they still bring the mail to you
    Bills and flyers, cards
    and offers and misaddressed
    junk cram the box full.
  96. almost all natural
    Her diet involved
    fruit, vegetables and water,
    with a few milkshakes.
  97. subtle interrogation
    The unwitting soul
    knew nothing of subtext while
    answering the text.
  98. the years, they go by so quickly
    The candles pile up
    atop the cake, the regrets
    flow like unchecked tears.
  99. factions
    The gangs eyed each group,
    wary of agendas and
    motives not their own.
  100. cozy sheets
    Bed calls out, don’t leave,
    in a sultry soothing tone,
    but work screams louder.
  101. withered fortunes
    Myrna watched her life
    savings evaporate in
    the wink of a lie.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 20

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

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  1. brotherhood of bread
    They split the loaf as
    they had many times before,
    bonding with baguette.
  2. all run by elves
    The magic happens
    thanks to tireless elves who
    cook, clean, write, fold clothes …
  3. art on demand
    “We want more art now!”
    the audience bellowed. But
    the artist demurred.
  4. the day the blackberry died
    No beeps, no flashing
    light, no interruptions, no
    crises, no love lost.
  5. the routine
    The monotony
    continues unhindered while
    others break patterns.
  6. 40
    The ship left port some
    40 years ago, steering
    by the stars above.
  7. hooked on a feeding
    Some eat for pleasure.
    Some take pleasure in cooking.
    At the center, food.
  8. the new new new normal
    Panic, snark, outrage
    are all outmoded. Time for
    full-on terpitude.
  9. the lovebug nest
    They sit alone, an
    unnatural state for them,
    these social insects.
  10. a tin of salt
    No tiny gift goes
    unnoticed, even a tin
    of coarse gourmet salt.
  11. the rattling
    The rattling was
    eventually traced back
    to a soul dislodged.
  12. through the earth
    A seedling poked his
    head through hard dirt to see if
    winter had left town.
  13. perspectives from devils and angels
    Is the world good or
    bad? Or does that depend on
    if you’re good or bad?
  14. he fought the so-so fight
    Misunderstood by
    his contemporaries, he
    tilted at straw men.
  15. seasonal schizophrenia
    Cycle of winter
    in Alabama: colder,
    snow, ice, then heat spell.
  16. i’ll get right on that
    “I need you to do
    me a favor.” The eight most
    dreaded words ever.
  17. put a lid on it
    Wherever the head
    went, the hat stayed on top of
    it, perched and ready.
  18. flight of the go-getters
    They wouldn’t, couldn’t
    stick around any longer.
    New horizons called.
  19. on the banks in the freezing cold
    The creek runs low this
    time of year. The critters are
    in hiding somewhere.
  20. be still
    Be still. Contemplate
    existence. Breathe in, breathe out.
    Wait, then wait some more.
  21. the cool kids club
    Their lunch table is
    exactly the same as all
    lunch tables, but not.
  22. the snow, man
    Old Man Winter popped
    in for a visit, only
    to startle the town.
  23. made in the world
    It may be one world,
    but China still makes our stuff
    at low, low prices.
  24. sweets surrender
    Each bite of pie brings
    a taste of regret, as though
    the fatness cometh.
  25. i never
    Bad decisions make
    for the best stories, even
    if they’re your choices.
  26. flower forecast
    Everything’s coming
    up expensive. But skipping
    bouquet can cost more.
  27. citified drawl
    Birmingham’s accent
    is soft, a gentle porch breeze
    without many airs.
  28. cupid 2.0
    His quiver carries
    both arrows and pre-nups, on
    his lawyer’s counsel.
  29. lack history month
    Not so much the shade
    of history but the real
    lessons need teaching.
  30. star-crossed haters
    The pair’s mutual
    dislike of everything made
    them compatible.
  31. away with coffee
    The affair ended
    with her tossing her dark roast
    to the compost heap.
  32. screens
    Laptop calculates,
    BlackBerry buzzes, plasma
    pulses, iPad sleeps.
  33. before the rush
    Chairs suspend themselves
    on tables as a wayward
    mop glides lazily.
  34. positive energy
    The reservoir of
    positive energy is
    replenished with hope.
  35. these walls do talk
    “You are beautiful.”
    The message spread through the town.
    “You are beautiful.”
  36. creatures stirring
    A solitary
    torch keeps me company as
    I hunt fireflies.
  37. volunteer fireman
    Putting out fires
    in the office has become
    burning sensation.
  38. awards season
    They hand out trophies
    under the Hollywood sign
    with proof of purchase.
  39. roses, stage 1
    The dormant bush kept
    very still, impatient to
    burst forth with good news.
  40. her left arm
    She would give her left
    arm for sleep, coffee, nice shoes,
    good hair and a kiss.
  41. the well runs dry
    The hole in the earth
    belched a cloud of dust, spent from
    giving up water.
  42. you can just sense it
    An arched brow gave way
    to a wrinkled frown. The cards
    could not bail him out.
  43. a serpent made of limos
    The glamorous were
    eased down the digestive tract
    of the beast of fame.
  44. first date
    The trouble with first
    dates is the magic will be
    mostly alcohol.
  45. in like a lion
    Spring waits in the wings,
    eager to spread sunshine’s roar
    to a sleeping world.
  46. sweet victory
    Winning isn’t the
    goal always, but it sure beats
    losing or tying.
  47. the process of wooing
    Dance starts with a long
    glance. Then gestures and drinks. And
    ends with date or slap.
  48. park respite
    Lunchtime crowd lingers
    longer to soak up the warmth
    in the oasis.
  49. love won’t leave
    Love is the secret
    hope, the persistent bug, the
    vise on a lone heart.
  50. a sunday of nothing
    Hot coffee, good book,
    jazz tunes, fresh croissants, light rain,
    fresh flowers, soft smile.
  51. the standard of mediocrity
    Settling is how this
    country was founded, and the
    way it stays the same.
  52. dancing in the lobby
    They couldn’t find the
    reception, so they ended
    up waltzing in place.
  53. net gain or loss
    The hardwood vibrates
    from fan intensity as
    the players warm up.
  54. flight to the heavens
    The rocket plume did
    not arc across the sky but
    pointed to beyond.
  55. conversation ticker
    Buy! The talk turns to
    culture. Sell! Back to cooking.
    Hold! Current events.
  56. the passion of the berries
    Blueberry baskets
    tumble into pie tins and
    hand-cranked ice cream churns.
  57. up the interstate
    Truck stop offers hot
    showers, ample parking. Turn
    off at next exit.
  58. bun extraction
    The newborn isn’t
    yet born, still baking before
    entering the world.
  59. pie focals
    Every pie on Earth
    filled the banquet table with
    every eye on Earth.
  60. st. patrick’s eve
    Kegs fall in line for
    duty to brave women and
    men who fight for drafts.
  61. fields of green
    Rolling hills calm the
    soul, gliding along on a
    bicycle for one.
  62. plus one
    Her words came screaming
    out. Beneath the tears and fears,
    she announced her burst.
  63. sprung forward
    The clocks have jumped the
    gun, waiting for Ms. Mother
    Nature to catch up.
  64. the clone wars
    Cover bands toil
    for reflected glory from
    authentic knock-offs.
  65. green power
    The aching dust coats
    the metallic skin, leaving
    misery around.
  66. facts is facts
    Truth isn’t all it’s
    supposed to be. But neither
    is soothing fiction.
  67. join the parade
    The clatter of feet
    and cars and bands and Shriners
    and floats approaches.
  68. the countdown
    Invites sent, menu
    set, decorations in place,
    band tuned, almost there.
  69. renewal phase
    The promise of a
    new season inspires us
    to grow, to become.
  70. a call for poets
    The call for poets
    did not roil the land but
    shook hearts from within.
  71. sunday brunch 2011
    The warm mimosas
    remained unsipped while the group
    stared at their smartphones.
  72. march maelstroms
    Storms roll through leaving
    hail and branches strewn about.
    The air calms, clears up.
  73. ode to a cupcake
    When eating a whole
    cake by yourself is frowned on
    by society.
  74. _the corridors of power
    Up and down the long
    hallways hung crudely drawn hopes
    from the city’s youth.
  75. time flies when you’re having fondue
    Spear the fruit, dip the
    chunk, coat the sides, slow the drips,
    chew the piece. Repeat.
  76. campus springtime
    The snap of cold threw
    off the students looking for
    sun while crossing quads.
  77. bunny test run
    Stuntrabbits hide their
    simulated eggs throughout
    an obstacle course.
  78. a mild coma
    The wear and tear of
    everyday life compounds with
    a lack of leisure.
  79. blooming of festivals
    Tent poles poke up from
    the earth. Tents blossom, buzzed by
    tall bees on two legs.
  80. not my crowd
    They goose each other
    with familiarity
    while I stand aside.
  81. rutted
    Those who are bored can
    be inspired, but most of
    the time, they’re boring.
  82. part-time architect
    In the mornings, she
    constructs a blanket fort for
    the scampering ones.
  83. the perfect macaroon
    A macaroon would
    be much improved without that
    yucky coconut.
  84. poultry quandary
    Guess what. Chicken butt.
    Guess why. Chicken thigh. Guess where.
    Chicken unaware.
  85. green dust
    Pollen amassed on
    Chevy hoods and porch swings brings
    new flowers to bloom.
  86. the butterfly defect
    The butterfly knows
    not of civil turmoil
    while floating on air.
  87. the secret girl
    Cheers to the secret
    girl, placed on a pedestal
    high above the fray.
  88. buffoons of the postmodern era
    They wear their blatant
    idiocy proudly, to
    profit from hecklers.
  89. sea of flesh
    The park’s sea of green
    becomes a sea of flesh as
    the sun laps the shores.
  90. internal ice age
    Wear your sweaters at
    the office. Hot temps outside
    mean arctic inside.
  91. seasons of the grill
    Late winter grilling
    has turned to early springtime
    grilling. Charcoal, please.
  92. test pilots in training
    A tail swings to and
    fro as its kite ascends to
    become a mere speck.
  93. 1040 or fight
    An accountant keeps
    the numbers in line, making
    them letter perfect.
  94. find the symbolism
    The bald goat ate the
    last blade of grass on Earth while
    bleeding crude oil.
  95. off the trail
    The markers did not
    help the colorblind hiker,
    lost in nature’s awe.
  96. tantrums in the sky
    The unseen toddler
    rattles the globe, shaking loose
    the raindrops and gusts.
  97. mixer
    One part schmoozing, two
    parts drinking, three parts waiting,
    mix well, serve smoothly.
  98. the laying of eggs
    Someone left behind
    these painted eggs where any
    toddler could find them!
  99. to live again
    Birth, death and rebirth
    are all the same, as we skim
    across life to life.
  100. the rose garden
    She skipped through the rose
    garden, where all the blooms smiled
    back in jealousy.
  101. in place of crickets
    The clickety-clack
    of a keypad, the dull hum
    of a laptop fan.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 19

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

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  1. the great pumpkin claus
    Time for tricks and treats,
    so let’s put up the Christmas
    decorations now.
  2. the unbathed
    Boy, dog conspire
    to stay in the yard and far
    away from the tub.
  3. middling life crisis
    It’s not so much the
    timing as it is the waste
    of years and minutes.
  4. the fastidious and the fury
    The napkin rings must
    be just so, the dining room
    dust free. Perfect clench.
  5. graveyard of broken gadgets
    Old cell phones, iPods
    don’t head to the farm, but to
    a wiry grave.
  6. five by five
    High five. Nine to five.
    Take five. Five-finger discount.
    Five years and counting.
  7. when i’m not creating
    A faint snore marks the
    onset of slumber, dreaming
    up new ideas.
  8. the mountain
    The mountain to climb
    is not made of piled earth but of
    paperwork and debts.
  9. paroled
    Sometimes employees
    don’t recognize freedom till
    they’re sprung from their jobs.
  10. the cracks are showing
    Battered spirits seek
    shelter against the bumps and
    bruises of living.
  11. the right candy
    The right candy is
    whatever lands in your bag
    from trick or treating.
  12. ghost hunters
    Some people see ghosts
    not on Halloween but in
    the car, the closet.
  13. being scared
    Can’t get the scream out
    with all the blood and noise and
    fleeing for your life.
  14. hell house 2010
    Bingo addicts, file
    sharers, sexting pervs, oil
    spillers and furries.
  15. an excuse to be trampy
    Demure? Bah, humbug.
    Ladies, make this Halloween
    one we won’t forget.
  16. trick rolled
    Step 1: Ring doorbell.
    Step 2: Ignite bag of poo.
    Step 3: Run for it!
  17. costumes for 2010
    Like Button, Old Spice
    guy, Baby Lady Gaga,
    “Inception” … somehow.
  18. pig in a garden
    Snout sniffs for morsels
    hiding in the soil, curled
    pink tail wiggles round.
  19. cooling trend
    The shorter days, the
    longer nights, darkness roams with
    frosty companions.
  20. a house cleaning, of sorts
    The G-men pulled some
    bad apples in a barrel
    full of rotten ones.
  21. bundled up
    Inner warmth powers
    non-electric blanket while
    curled up on the couch.
  22. talk therapy
    The voices within
    have come to a decision:
    sausage, extra cheese.
  23. the next destination
    Riding on the bus
    listening to the motor
    strain for one more mile.
  24. rivalries
    Friends come and go, but
    bitter rivalries endure
    for generations.
  25. the ancient book of numbers
    Yellow pages filled
    with obscure methods to reach
    people on the stay.
  26. smf
    In times of madness,
    shake your tiny fists of rage
    at an uncouth world.
  27. the 33
    Even in the dark
    bowels of the earth, hope lives
    for the survivors.
  28. to kill a mockingbird 2010
    Boo Radley scurries
    between McMansions scouting
    for diversity.
  29. chat affair
    Hi. What’s up? Nothing,
    u? Same. K. Dinner? Maybe.
    Lemme know. Later.
  30. devils in disguise
    These days, evil ones
    parade naked in the streets
    to blind, cheering crowds.
  31. to be someone else
    Slip on the guise of
    a better persona to
    explore your psyche.
  32. holiday sprint
    Dash to the malls, dress
    up for parties, cook tons of
    food, play overtime.
  33. ballad of the ballot
    Sometimes, they voted
    for. Sometimes, against. But they
    made the time to choose.
  34. firehouse of democracy
    The electorate
    stood their ground, scribbling in dots
    amid fire trucks.
  35. the birthday boy
    The birthday boy gets
    cake, presents, a pony ride
    and lots of warm hugs.
  36. the coalition of the unwilling
    They will not change their
    ways, their hearts, their minds, not for
    all the sense around.
  37. even cold november rain
    Never mind darkness,
    we can find a way. ‘Cause noth-
    in’ lasts forever.
  38. a faint gobble
    Somewhere at a plant,
    your Thanksgiving turkey rides
    a death conveyor.
  39. for the pregnant tweeter
    When will the fetus
    come and meet us? Will he greet
    us or just tweet us?
  40. one-hour computation
    Daylight Saving has
    little interest but compounds
    bad sleeping habits.
  41. for kathy
    Deadlines pass, but great
    words filled with vitality
    endure forever.
  42. belief system
    Even the thinnest
    of beliefs can withstand the
    mightiest of blows.
  43. if everyone else is insane
    The boundaries of
    sanity are far more per-
    meable than hoped.
  44. dust to dust
    Will any of the
    pettiness matter when we
    reach the end of days?
  45. the do nothings
    The do nothings gab
    and commend themselves on a
    job not done at all.
  46. the guest who wouldn’t leave
    He won’t take the hint,
    leaving germs and sickness strewn
    about the household.
  47. intersection crash
    Limited time and
    many opportunities
    collide at junction.
  48. subtle product placement
    This haiku is brought
    to you by Halliburton
    and Diet Pepsi.
  49. blogging while driving
    Mixing SEO
    and MPH seems like crash
    course in 404.
  50. the countdown has begun
    Shoppers will invade
    stores at the crack of dawn, then
    rush home for football.
  51. in the walmart parking lot on a freezing night
    Two girls wander with
    empty pitchers begging for
    change, not dirty looks.
  52. put a ring on it
    Engagement season
    ends with tears, starts with wallet
    turned to ice pebble.
  53. invasion of the giant balloons
    The mammoth cartoon
    figures float with sharp eyes peeled
    for sharp points en route.
  54. the hunt for skinny jeans
    Pair after pair trot
    into the cold fitting room,
    dismissed in a huff.
  55. the tsa handshake
    Weary traveler,
    worry not for bombs in your
    genitalia.
  56. all about pacing
    Small bites and lots of
    chewing can get you through the
    feasting holiday.
  57. funereal advice
    The preacher told the
    staid mourners to love more, love
    now and love freely.
  58. fit to be yuletide
    Christmas shopping done?
    Commendable achievement.
    And yet we hate you.
  59. turkey watch, day 4
    Up to our giblets
    in leftovers, with nary
    a taste for sevenths.
  60. winding down the year
    Do we look back at
    what was done, to now for what’s
    left, to next year’s goals?
  61. bumper people
    The rain is just an
    excuse for lousy drivers
    to come out and slay.
  62. winter’s bane
    The humidity
    and heat have flown south for the
    season. In comes chills.
  63. the think tank
    As the tub filled with
    water, the overworked mom
    sank into her thoughts.
  64. simple gift cards
    Get whatever you
    want at the earmuff outlet,
    up to 10 dollars.
  65. the problems of others
    I can only guess
    at the problems of others
    while self pitying.
  66. it starts in the oven
    The scent wafts from the
    cookies-to-be to noses
    innocent till now.
  67. naughty nice real-time data
    Children text Santa
    with ever-changing toy lists
    while ignoring joy.
  68. hot holiday items
    Jobs, health insurance,
    groceries, bills paid on time,
    working cars, quiet.
  69. imaginary flurries
    The chill in the air
    would burst forth with snow, but the
    clouds will not comply.
  70. last night of hanukkah
    A blessing: May you
    be sealed totally for good.
    Let’s spin the dreidel.
  71. worn down
    Life has a way of
    wearing down the spunk and the
    spirit. Damn it all.
  72. 40 years and 40 nights
    A few gray hairs, a
    set of wisdom wrinkles, an
    eye for horizons.
  73. santa from the south pole
    Gun rack on the sleigh,
    sticker of Calvin peeing
    on Easter Bunny.
  74. eyes front
    Why do I look when
    I pee? I’ve seen this show at
    least a million times.
  75. when it gets this cold
    When it gets this cold,
    squirrels become popsicles
    and eyes become ice.
  76. cookies for dinner
    Sweet temptations lure
    us from a balanced meal to
    a late sugar crash.
  77. a colder, harder kind of snow
    The children were thrilled
    to leave school early and build
    a sleetman at home.
  78. responding to a full heart
    The world always needs
    more love. Let some out so all
    can share in the warmth.
  79. best journalism advice i ever received
    Be fair, be accu-
    rate. Or, if that fails, just be
    fairly accurate.
  80. flip, flip, flip
    The page turns. The words
    caress the battered mind like
    a salve. The page turns.
  81. the show-off
    The illusionist
    stepped before the audience
    and made them believe.
  82. long live darkness
    The sun goes down and
    stays down while the moon frolics
    amidst frozen stars.
  83. restless pajamas
    The hours seem like
    eternities as wee ones
    wait for reindeer thuds.
  84. mall madness
    The parking lot is
    crammed. The food court is seething.
    Clerks are winging it.
  85. all reindeer are go
    Comet is pumped, and
    Dasher and Donner want to
    lead. Rudolph? Aglow.
  86. don’t need no presents
    Don’t need no new tie,
    or sauce pan or video
    game. Just your Yule smile.
  87. as planned
    Did the year go as
    planned, or was it a jumble
    of events and lulls?
  88. just like the ones i used to know
    A white Christmas came
    to Alabama, draping
    Dixie with surprise.
  89. say goodbye to 2010
    Vuvuzela, top
    kill, Antoine Dodson, double
    rainbow, Inception.
  90. the happy hour of a so-so day
    The jukebox cranks up
    to drown sorrows in pop hits
    as bottle caps fly.
  91. the creature under the deck
    The creature under
    the deck only emerges
    for cans of cat food.
  92. the odometer on the calendar
    It’s about to be
    11:11 on
    1-1-11!
  93. the renewal
    Do not fear what is
    to come, what cannot be made
    to obey. Be bold.
  94. the fields of winter
    Desolate the land
    stood, outstretched, barren, yet full
    of seeds for blooming.
  95. stride
    Hit it and go far,
    break it and fall off the path,
    maintain it and run.
  96. nothing but the hum of the lights
    Morning cubicle
    sits amongst the herd. Coffee
    steam rises in wisps.
  97. the silly hour
    Late at night, we’d stop
    cramming, start roaming, looking
    for mischief and snacks.
  98. the miracle worker
    The father crawled from
    bed to journey in darkness
    work and come home late.
  99. milk sandwich
    Worse than snow forecast
    in the South? Pre-snow stampede
    in the bread, milk aisles.
  100. the year so far, an early report
    Snow threat, possible
    national championship,
    shooting in Tucson.
  101. championship rings
    The toughest team wears
    the fanciest rings, which makes
    no sense in real life.

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