Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 59

Saturday, February 5, 2022 by Wade Kwon

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  1. happiest of holidays
    A nonstop orgy
    of gifts, eating, dressing up
    and some reflection.
  2. the true cost of higher education
    A little learning
    can contribute to a life
    weighed down with deep debt.
  3. secret windfall
    A surprise bonus
    pumping up the coffers with
    necessary cash.
  4. weeny forecast
    Littlest monsters
    scavenge streets for sugary
    treats and slight mischief.
  5. writers get it, too
    Impostor syndrome
    rears its ugly head before
    I can start typing.
  6. dancing under the stars
    We gathered at the
    old park to drink beers and hear
    the bands play all day.
  7. the darkest highway
    The headlights barely
    pierce the nighttime before our
    car. A light rain falls.
  8. happy birthday, biff
    Alive for 50,
    friends for 40, a long time
    with a good buddy.
  9. before the party starts
    Nervously munching
    on crudité, waiting for
    old friends to arrive.
  10. a few minutes here and there
    I need to spend more
    time writing in the nooks and
    crannies of each day.
  11. modern package tracking
    Wormhole. Cleveland, then
    Narnia. Drone drops ninja
    bot. Wake up with box.
  12. damn kids
    They know everything
    about what’s in and nothing
    about their elders.
  13. the endless race
    Brain and body. Sheer
    exhaustion. Consequences
    of running full speed.
  14. get high, get thai
    Grab some gummies and
    let the week melt away. Feel
    the great weightlessness.
  15. never in short supply
    Could we stop making
    so many war veterans
    and start waging peace?
  16. the sport of scrolling
    Looking for hotties.
    Need inspiration. Killing
    brain cells. Hate-scrolling.
  17. any port in a storm
    Lower your standards,
    and raise your hopes, for cuffing
    season has begun.
  18. the cure for incuriousity
    Explore the depths of
    the people in your life and
    discover wonders.
  19. the quilt
    Investing each piece
    with feeling, meaning, making
    a textile thesis.
  20. the hazards of wordsmithing
    Some days the words flow.
    Others, they must be pried out
    with a screwdriver.
  21. everyone appreciates a good sideshow
    To puncture the staid
    veil of reality, go
    forth and get weirder.
  22. pro dreams in a college town
    Birmingham’s quest for
    pro status: Cinderella
    story or nightmare?
  23. the job interview: the beginner
    Fumble for the right
    words, make the manager see
    you as competent.
  24. a melodious evil
    She hums a motif,
    giving the composer a
    way to score her sins.
  25. if it bleeds, it undermines the fabric of society
    If news outlets aren’t
    trying to scare viewers to
    death, what is the point?
  26. as opposed to shut-ins and boors
    Inspiration comes
    from having a robust life
    and clever instincts.
  27. keeping cool
    The fridge wanted a
    holiday, but I wouldn’t
    budge. Heated exchange.
  28. a country 2021
    He lost his girlfriend
    and his dog this year, sadness
    waiting for lyrics.
  29. the rites of gratitude
    Being grateful makes
    us happier, so give thanks
    every day you can.
  30. every day is black friday
    We shop from our phones
    and check out on our doorsteps.
    It’s retail’s revenge.
  31. ready for any apocalypse
    She weaves her fabrics
    and raises her hens, prepared
    for the fall of man.
  32. midway through dune
    The anxiety
    waits quietly, ready to
    pounce when given space.
  33. hobbyists and practitioners
    Should all creations
    be interrogated as
    Art? Can we stand it?
  34. the plague of drought
    As water dwindles,
    will we go to war over
    remaining droplets?
  35. the extra noel is for spite
    May all my friends go
    to hell. Noel noel no-
    el noel noel.
  36. reflections of van gogh
    Projectors beam his
    works across expansive walls
    while we stroll through them.
  37. a new stadium, gently used
    The vocal few packed
    half the stands, while the rest stayed
    filled with ghostly hopes.
  38. being mortal
    What’s harder: dying,
    or living on in a world
    of indifference?
  39. digital death rituals
    We gather to mourn
    on Facebook, swapping stories
    and pics of the dead.
  40. questions for down the road
    Will I have enough
    money? Or virility?
    Or will to keep on?
  41. ode to a modern dance troupe
    They defy the laws
    of gravity, with grace, with
    physicality.
  42. art pop
    Impressionism
    for Joe Sixpack, smudges of
    paint for the masses.
  43. tidings of great joy
    The best present we
    have to give is ourselves in
    this do-over year.
  44. the end is nigh
    Death is coming. We
    greet it with awe, with sorrow,
    with celebration.
  45. the plan to outlive everyone
    The only flaw is
    having no one left to talk
    with at the day’s end.
  46. mystery dance
    They twirl and tumble
    onstage, and I don’t get the
    movement and meaning.
  47. all downhill from here
    The best verse I have
    ever written is buried
    among published heaps.
  48. afflict the comfortable
    We’d rather sink in
    the morass of ignorance
    than learn painful truths.
  49. a relationship built on uncertainty
    It’s a pattern of
    not trusting our needs and not
    sharing our questions.
  50. the spending continues
    Experiences
    over things, and yet both use
    capitalism.
  51. nations and money, law and society
    The fabric of our
    reality is largely
    based on shared grand myths.
  52. vaccines, critical race theory, nascar
    Cannot avoid it:
    Everything’s political
    though it shouldn’t be.
  53. plague to end all plagues
    Five million dead, it
    will probably hang out for
    a while. Get boosted.
  54. the unpuzzle
    Tricky problem less
    tricky after time away
    and a good night’s sleep.
  55. greet the winter fondly
    Before long, the nights
    will shrink again and harsh cold
    will give way to warmth.
  56. symphony of paper, twine and tape
    Nothing beats the joy
    and contentment of wrapping
    a gift perfectly.
  57. season of loneliness
    Togetherness means
    nothing to those without loved
    ones to draw closer.
  58. the quiet of christmas eve
    When kids finally
    fall asleep and parents swear
    softly building bikes.
  59. how many candles?
    It’s someone’s birthday
    today. And what a joyous
    occasion it is!
  60. resolve to be nicer
    “Be kind” might be the
    only commandment we need
    to get by in life.
  61. the quality of banter
    The quality of
    banter determines the fun
    to be had en masse.
  62. naughty card games
    Their innuendo
    proceeded with every card
    dealt, every brow raised.
  63. she doesn’t do pets
    Not on her couch, and
    definitely not in her
    bed. Cuteness, be gone!
  64. banned words, 2021 edition
    Canceled, woke, extra,
    deplatform and air fryer.
    (Let’s hang on to “vax.”)
  65. eve
    A waltz, a kiss, a
    toast, a vow, a glance, a shared
    look and a new year.
  66. our third pandemic year
    Let us resolve to
    take care of each other, while
    we care for ourselves.
  67. the year of the cell
    Will it be a year
    of true connection or a
    year spent on our phones?
  68. philosophical streaming
    Should life be binged in
    a mad rush or savored bite
    by bite? Gulp, or chew?
  69. wittier by sweat
    Wringing laughs from tame
    writing, punching up punch lines,
    hoping for howling.
  70. hope for 2022
    Freedom from worry,
    from suffering, from violence,
    from things ’21.
  71. a near insurrection
    We almost let them
    steal democracy when they
    stormed the Capitol.
  72. democracy in peril
    Are we content to
    let the traitors spit lies and
    plan another siege?
  73. latest-stage capitalism
    Amazon turned our
    old mall into a giant
    distribution hub.
  74. mall used up
    One by one the stores
    fled, or worse, sank deeper in
    the fetid water.
  75. pennies from hell
    The reliable
    old Walmart, where cheapness is
    the ultimate good.
  76. gastronomic excesses
    Course after course, we
    indulged in fine wines and some
    exquisite dining.
  77. the takeoff of the squadron
    A mighty few came
    to witness the launch of our
    minor league hoops team.
  78. my favorite social media faux pas
    She thought Instagram
    was private and sent pics of
    her butt to all y’all.
  79. a meeting over breakfast
    The best time to fuel
    up and trade secrets with an
    admirable friend.
  80. jonesin’ for dopamine
    Notification.
    Check status. Alert. Quick glance.
    Repeat until dead.
  81. mortal beings
    We’re all beginning
    to wither year by year till
    our ripeness is rot.
  82. a man most reviled
    King found little love
    among white Americans
    as the ’60s raged.
  83. clanton, usa
    Come sit a spell with
    me beneath the oversize
    peach water tower.
  84. post-viewing supplemental reading
    I like to binge and
    then read up, water cooler
    moments on the fly.
  85. finding life’s purpose
    Winding down each day,
    looking for something to do,
    how to fill a void.
  86. the book bandit
    She sped through all kinds
    of fiction, sharing her love
    with literati.
  87. chef nobody
    He wanted to cook
    more, but didn’t care for the
    shopping, prep and wait.
  88. half crazy
    It’s very common:
    Half will be diagnosed with
    a mental illness.
  89. mindscape
    The brain is a black
    box, able to imagine
    and help us sit straight.
  90. scrolling habits
    Silent videos,
    noisy videos, lovely
    houses and train wrecks.
  91. stop, look and listen
    Up and down the same
    streets, past the same houses, still
    seeing something new.
  92. calculus of regret
    Possible joy and
    minor hazards, divided
    by risk and reward.
  93. truth, beauty, etc.
    Why do we create
    art? To show off? To scratch an
    itch? To understand?
  94. a painting, an opera, an nft
    Why do we consume
    art? To gain wisdom? To feed
    the soul? To unwind?
  95. plugged in
    You’re either really
    in the know or the dumbest
    fool in history.
  96. shivering
    Despair of winter
    is facing brutal cold in
    nothing but sweaters.
  97. the camera goes where?
    Colonoscopy
    day: Prep in the wee hours,
    sleep through procedure.
  98. the lens of others
    Divining meaning
    in a vaguely written verse
    while they stare blankly.
  99. the simple joys of a simple diet
    Chicken, spinach, eggs,
    lentils, beans, more chicken and
    eggs, veggies, dinner.
  100. mantras wanted
    Boil my complete
    philosophy down to a
    bumper sticker please.
  101. january’s ultimate joy
    Dining room table
    surrounded by dear friends on
    a cold winter’s night.

• • •

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Happy 2022!

Saturday, January 1, 2022 by Wade Kwon

Vitruvian Man, Medical Forum

Photo: Jerry Taylor

Happy New Year! May 2022 be healthy, healthy and healthy.

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 25, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Video: James Corden brings a stellar lineup to sing
“Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town.”

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 25, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Video: Ten hours of Thanksgiving ambience

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy this lonnnnng screensaver of holiday cheer, minus any family bickering.

Happy Veterans Day!

Thursday, November 11, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Video: Livestream of the 2021 National Veterans Day parade

And we’re back!

The 2021 National Veterans Day parade returns to downtown after a COVID break in the Year That Shall Not Be Named.

It starts at 1:30 today, with livestreaming above. Big shout out to the men and women who serve or served in the armed forces!

Map: National Veterans Day parade route

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 58

Wednesday, October 27, 2021 by Wade Kwon

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  1. the sweetest shoppe
    Cookies and cakes and
    assorted confections, all
    sugar to savor.
  2. george floyd
    Minneapolis
    man seeking redemption and
    work while getting straight.
  3. ahmaud arbery
    Georgia runner who
    loved his mama’s fudge cake and
    did great impressions.
  4. more on breonna taylor
    Louisville ER
    tech who scribbled goals on Post-
    it notes in her home.
  5. the embiggening of milkshakes
    Stick ’em in a jar
    and top with cupcakes, pretzels
    and firecrackers.
  6. in the grips of depression
    Each morning I sink
    back into the ooze, drowning
    slowly on dry land.
  7. making time for everything and nothing
    The energy to
    do 500 things, the time
    to do maybe four.
  8. the coming race war
    Keep pushing people
    of color to the brink. Fuck
    around and find out.
  9. the longest book
    The longest book is
    the one sitting patiently,
    ready to be read.
  10. no one deserves her smile
    She graces me with
    a knowing grin, dazzling my
    eyes, melting my heart.
  11. hurricane country
    Much like where you live,
    with a few more occasions
    to flee for your lives.
  12. ongoing obsolescence
    The way we do things
    today won’t be around for
    very much longer.
  13. a last summer hurrah
    Before they send us
    back to confined spaces, full
    of vaccines, ennui.
  14. postcard to a friend
    I’m at the beach, but
    dreaming about us having
    dinner together.
  15. the canine twins
    No scrap goes untouched,
    no ball goes unthrown in a
    two-dog family.
  16. sunshine on hidden depths
    Growing my hair in
    back and chewing on Skoal. I
    am Florida man.
  17. sandy siren
    The beach stretches out
    forever and calls you back
    (without the big crowds).
  18. postcard poetry
    Back in Florida
    enjoying the sand, seafood
    and grand sunrises.
  19. the corpse in the driveway
    It used to be a
    bird, or maybe a squirrel. And
    now covered in flies.
  20. for a few commas more
    I, do, not, like, the,
    insistence, on, the, use, of,
    the, Oxford, comma.
  21. his one trick
    Waiting for it. More
    anticipation. Snatching
    the treat from mid-air.
  22. infinite grief in a finite period
    When do we mourn a
    pandemic, all the lost lives?
    And when do we stop?
  23. a restorative place
    I find my seat and
    begin the warmup to a
    session of breathing.
  24. word search
    He dutifully
    crossed out excess words on the
    sheet with a red pen.
  25. back to school 2021
    Classmates free of masks
    and full of shots once again
    crowd their old classrooms.
  26. moth mayhem
    Their swarms visit each
    room, awaiting their turns to
    redo my wardrobe.
  27. the future is streaming
    Buzzy series, live
    sports, cooking demos, doorbell
    pirates, Old Sheldon.
  28. head games
    Star athletes compete
    for glory, but we fail to
    see the mental toll.
  29. a race against variants
    Will the unvaxxed kill
    us all? Will the strain between
    tribes undo it all?
  30. the pandemic in fall, second round
    Return to normal,
    or a march into a great
    unknown risk for all.
  31. those disposable pandemic pets
    No longer puppies
    and kittens, they returned to
    shelters unneeded.
  32. black lives still matter
    How quickly our white
    allies went back to business
    long before justice.
  33. bad reams
    Most dreams die from the
    amount of paperwork that
    it takes to launch them.
  34. casual racism
    It slips into our
    conversation so quickly
    I fail to push back.
  35. resistance isn’t futile
    Maybe the reason
    we’re so memorable is
    because we fight back.
  36. the dog walker’s mantra
    Who’s happy to see
    me? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes,
    it’s you! You you you!!
  37. beacons of positivity
    The people in our
    lives who radiate joy stand
    out for their brilliance.
  38. art for art’s sake
    Do something, and do
    it badly. Don’t make money
    from it. Just enjoy.
  39. losing a best friend
    One weird fight, and years
    of camaraderie slip
    away in the wind.
  40. a fiftieth wish
    I hope you’re safe, I
    hope you’re well, but most of all,
    I hope you’re happy.
  41. looks like we mated
    You have something on
    your face. No, not there. Lower.
    That conniving smile.
  42. the harvest, summer edition
    Cucumber, cucum-
    ber, cucumber, cucumber,
    cucumber and dill.
  43. jetset jaunt
    Fly across the world
    for fine dining, then fly back
    home with full bellies.
  44. hope for everyone and no one
    A drunk drying out
    while protecting his claim to
    the girls he neglects.
  45. after a rainy walk
    He proudly trots from
    the door on the kitchen floor,
    muddy paws and all.
  46. this dog misses his mama and daddy
    He whimpers, wonders
    where his family has gone
    while gnawing on bones.
  47. anxiety on the line
    Keeping a firm grip
    on the leash, never knowing
    which way he might run.
  48. sprint and spritz
    Neither darkness nor
    rain kept him from his rounds of
    marking territory.
  49. a rare promotion
    They lifted her up
    after so many years in
    the trenches toiling.
  50. the cost of doing business
    For labor, a chance
    to reassess their worth. For
    management, the same.
  51. the 27-course meal
    An abundance of
    forks, plates, servers and wines cross
    our table nonstop.
  52. flowers as lovely as her
    I bring you roses
    with the hope they bloom like our
    new relationship.
  53. backyard agenda
    We float along in
    the quiet pool, staring up
    at the lazy clouds.
  54. downtown saturday morning
    The cyclists search for
    a brunch spot, while the homeless
    man keeps to his bench.
  55. the lessons of 9/11
    Twenty years of wars.
    Do we terrorize others
    more than they do us?
  56. kitchen harmony
    Me on the skillet,
    her on the cutting board, a
    dinner taking shape.
  57. a pound of regret
    Hospitals stretched to
    their limits. But we can’t be
    bothered to wear masks.
  58. the inevitable nth wave
    It was predicta-
    ble. It was preventable.
    It is laughable.
  59. uncomfortably numb
    Becoming inured
    to death is like being dead
    inside already.
  60. escape rooms themes
    A flooded basement.
    Human trafficking boxcar.
    Brunch with the in-laws.
  61. best wishes and gritted teeth
    We’re so happy for
    your continued success and
    its many blessings.
  62. new job, still remote
    He sat in the same
    living room, flipped on the same
    laptop, but earned more.
  63. the freedom of fiction
    Writing about life’s
    many strange things whether they’re
    about you or not.
  64. death of a waffle house
    Smothered, padlocked and
    kneecapped. The mourners brought their
    flasks. One guy threw up.
  65. her mighty garden
    Raised beds filled with all
    kinds of vegetables, some tall
    and some buried deep.
  66. autumnal pause
    A breather between
    the sweltering summer and
    a gloomy winter.
  67. the fixer-upper
    They spent weekends on
    painting and sanding and trips
    to the big box store.
  68. broadway bind
    Hours and days spent
    in rehearsal, for minutes
    in the lone spotlight.
  69. some pig
    Tallulah wants time
    in the sun and a small mud
    patch to call her own.
  70. man vs. city hall
    They levy the tax.
    I fight back. They hold fast. I
    keep fighting. They win.
  71. fall getaways 2021
    A last jaunt to the
    beach, maybe a cabin, but
    not the ICU.
  72. throwing away their vote
    Why are we afraid
    to make voting easier
    for Americans?
  73. phrased in the form of a questionable haiku
    Who knew hiring
    a game show host would be so
    politically fraught?
  74. search engine doctorates
    Everyone you know
    is an expert in any-
    thing and everything.
  75. our relationship with tv
    We’re pickier and
    more voracious, enchanted
    and obligated.
  76. halloween or dystopic nightmare?
    I’m going to be
    the prettiest handmaiden
    in all Gilead.
  77. relationship detente
    When both sides reach an
    understanding that no more
    growth is possible.
  78. the ted lasso dilemma
    Can we meet harshness
    with kindness, outright cruelty
    with some empathy?
  79. feels like fall
    A simple drop in
    temperature warms my heart and
    brings out my cool side.
  80. in a few syllables
    I can reinvent
    my unremarkable self
    into something grand.
  81. anxiety is the thief
    Anxiety is
    the thief that robs us of our
    sense of well-being.
  82. the lump in the window
    The furry lump does
    not stir, does not see me (or
    maybe does), snoozing.
  83. the laziest pickpockets
    They reach unseen in
    wallets and purses to shop
    for pizza and gas.
  84. delta variant by five
    Stadiums full of
    fans packed tightly to enjoy
    their football fever.
  85. legacies of columbus
    Globalization
    and all the wonders and hor-
    rors that come with it.
  86. the legend of the haunted hardee’s
    Ghosts roam the booths, all
    dead from hunger and lack of
    attentive service.
  87. the probable son
    Doesn’t care for his
    parents, nor for the fractured
    legacy to boot.
  88. prick or treat
    Vaccines as either
    bold trick to ensnare victims
    or free pass to fun.
  89. the real ongoing pandemic
    Why aren’t we making
    a bigger deal out of the
    risks of climate change?
  90. eternally maternally
    Mama bear cares for
    her cubs so very dearly.
    Watch out for those claws!
  91. ascendiary
    Each day can be a
    mountain. We may not peak, but
    we can still climb some.
  92. clickety click clack
    Abandoned office
    registers the lone sound of
    gently tapped keyboards.
  93. stats for life
    BP, temperature,
    cholesterol (good and bad),
    weight, pulse and pain scale.
  94. costume dilemma
    Silly or sexy,
    pop culture or historic,
    homemade or store bought.
  95. busy busy busy
    Burning the candle
    at both ends, in the middle
    and from deep inside.
  96. what lurks beneath, above and all around us
    Death and horror got
    nothin’ on Halloween this
    year. Scary shmary.
  97. can society?
    Can democracy
    survive without committing
    to the public good?
  98. fight or flights of fancy
    The dialogue on
    mental health gets louder with
    each passing daydream.
  99. the fear and now
    Between depression
    and anxiety, I’ve got
    past and future locked.
  100. and not feel so alone
    We talk openly
    about our mental struggles
    so others may learn.
  101. true confessions
    I admit weakness.
    Is vulnerability
    a strength? I hope so.

• • •

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Happy Labor Day!

Monday, September 6, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Video: Let’s celebrate the holiday with Teen Titans Go!

Happy Labor Day! Be safe, get the vaccine, mask up and stay socially distanced for everyone’s sake.

Vote 2021: Birmingham municipal election results

Tuesday, August 24, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Vote 2021The polls are closed, and the totals will soon be in. Results from today’s races in Birmingham …

Updates throughout the evening …

Voter turnout was 25 percent, compared to 27 percent in 2017, 21 percent in 2013, 15 percent in 2011*, 26 percent in 2009* and 45 percent in 2007.

*Special mayoral elections.

  • I = incumbent
  • Winner in red | runoff opponents in green

Runoffs take place Oct. 5.

• • •

More Vote 2021 coverage.

Vote 2021: Mask up and go vote

Tuesday, August 24, 2021 by Wade Kwon

opportunity zone groundbreaking

Birmingham’s Election Day is here, with polls open till 7. At stake, mayor, city council and board of education.

Vote 2021Q: Where do I vote?

A: Call the city clerk’s office at (205) 254-2290.

Or Search Your Polling Place on AlabamaVotes.gov. This PDF list has the all the polling locations.

Note: District boundaries changed in 2011; check for your correct district on this PDF map.

Wade on Birmingham:
election results tonight

Remember, if you have problems at your polling place:

Q: What can I expect to see on the ballots?

A: Check out this sample ballot along with the list of all candidates.

Q: Have the mayoral candidates debated?

A: Three times. Watch them here.

You’re voting for Birmingham mayor, and for your district, a city council representative and a board of education member.

If needed, runoffs take place Oct. 5.

Are you voting today? Tell us in the comments.

• • •

More Vote 2021 coverage.

Vote 2021: And the Birmingham candidates are …

Monday, August 23, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Before heading to the polls on Tuesday, take some time to study the Birmingham ballot. We’re voting on mayor, city council and board of education (Mobile has its general election, too).

Vote 2021Who’s in the running?

The candidates:

Mayor:

  • William Bell
  • Cerissa Brown
  • Napoleon Gonzalez
  • Philemon Hill
  • Lashunda Scales
  • Darryl T. Williams
  • Randall Woodfin (I)
  • Chris Woods

For city council (by district):

  • 2: Lawrence Conaway, Kimberly Jeanty, Don D. Scott, Hunter Williams (I)
  • 3: Valerie Abbott (I), Joseph Casper Baker III, Wil Jones, Alice Speake
  • 4: Scottie McClaney, J.T. Moore, William Parker (I), Qunelius “Cory” Pettway, Gwendolyn Cook Webb
  • 5: Richard Franklin, Darrell O’Quinn (I), Hiram Rahim, Erica Star Robbins, Roshanique Yvette Taylor
  • 6: Keith Aaron, Crystal Smitherman (I), Keith O. Williams
  • 7: Wardine Towers Alexander (I), La’Toya Lee, Lonnie Franklin Malone, Don “Donnie” Stone
  • 8: Carol Clarke, Barbara Files-Kennedy, Lynette Peters, Celida “Celi” Soto, Adlai Trone, Harry “Traveling Shoes” Turner, D. Denise Webber-Jenkins, Wanda Wright
  • 9: Eric Hall, John Hilliard (I), David Russell, LaTonya Tate

For board of education (by district):

  • 1: Sherman Collins Jr., Douglas Lee Ragland (I), Jerry Tate
  • 2: Terri Michal (I), Neonta Williams
  • 3: Mary Boehm (I), Byron “Anti-Charter School” Lagrone
  • 4: Derek Billups, Daagye Hendricks (I)
  • 5: James Sullivan, David McKinney
  • 6: Jamaree Collins, Leticia Watkins, Yancey Williams
  • 8: Antoinette “Toni” King, Curtis Tyrone Robinson, Sonja Smith (I), Antwon Womack
  • 9: Le’Darius Hilliard, Jason Meadows, Susan Diane Mitchell

I = incumbent

The Birmingham municipal election takes place Tuesday. Runoffs take place Oct. 5.

Sample ballot for 2021 Birmingham municipal election
(download PDF ballot)

Also:

• • •

More Vote 2021 coverage.

Vote 2021: Meet Birmingham’s mayoral candidates

Tuesday, August 17, 2021 by Wade Kwon

In 7 days, Alabama voters head to the polls in a wide range of municipal elections. Here in Birmingham, we’ll select a mayor and all nine city council members.

Vote 2021What better way to understand the mayoral candidates and their plans than through barely rehearsed sound bites in the guise of a debate or three? Meet those vying for your vote in the videos below.

•

WBRC-6’s debate from Thursday features former mayor William Bell, Cerissa Brown, Philemon Hill, Jefferson County Commissioner Lashunda Scales, Darryl Williams, incumbent Randall Woodfin and Chris Woods.

•

WVTM-13’s debate from Friday has Bell, Scales, Woodfin and Woods.

•

The al.com et al debate tonight features Bell, Brown, Napoleon Gonzales, Hill, Scales, Williams and Woodfin.

• • •

More Vote 2021 coverage.

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 57

Sunday, July 18, 2021 by Wade Kwon

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  1. a society of things that need food, shelter
    Minimum wages,
    living wages are the cost
    of using humans.
  2. the plight of the omnivorous
    The fun thing about
    thinking about food is the
    endless variety.
  3. a zero-growth strategy
    Many are content
    with stasis, needing only
    to cover the churn.
  4. contentedness is its own reward
    Happy to remain
    still, grateful for what is and
    what is still possessed.
  5. the descent of spring
    Warm days with subtle
    pollinated breezes
    that waft through our toes.
  6. the lavish picnic
    Group tees and streamers
    galore in the pavilion
    at the shady park.
  7. no taste for accounting
    On your 1040,
    just write “COVID” in giant
    letters, pay next year.
  8. the commodification of mindfulness
    The utmost holy
    oneness with creation … as
    an in-app purchase.
  9. age appropriate
    Are cartoons for kids?
    Is sugary cereal,
    or tabletop games?
  10. makes me smile
    Half-remembering
    a dumb joke, or a mishap
    from long, long ago.
  11. drug trials
    Try this formula,
    feel it fail. Try that prescription,
    turn your insides out.
  12. technological leaps
    The joy of a new
    smartphone is soon outweighed by
    figuring it out.
  13. ownership in the digital age
    Creative works can
    vanish with flip of a switch,
    ones into zeros.
  14. planet of the oops
    Getting hotter and
    hotter, maybe this world is
    some other world’s hell.
  15. folders and photos and files and flotsam
    A cluttered desktop
    is the sign of a cluttered
    AI, it muttered.
  16. no one flies kites any more
    A scenic hilltop,
    gusting winds and a sky full
    of aerial hopes.
  17. emerging from the cave
    We take baby steps
    into a world once consumed
    with disease and death.
  18. may the circle be
    You are the five you
    keep closest. But what happens
    when you grow apart?
  19. april 27, 2011
    The morning storms spun
    up lesser tornadoes to
    scar Alabama.

    The evening brought a
    furious set of twisters.
    Hundreds would be killed.

    We remember that
    day 10 years on, what we lost,
    who we miss dearly.

  20. so bad it’s profitable
    Throw a bunch of shows
    at the wall and see who streams.
    A binge of big bucks.
  21. her fiftieth
    A peek back, and a
    stride forward into a life
    of love and kindness.
  22. one small step for mechanical man
    Robots use arms and
    legs to traverse terrain we’d
    rather not visit.
  23. pièce de résistor
    Gonna digitize
    my soul and sell it as an
    NFT. For Art!
  24. post-pandemic fever
    Let’s do everything
    all at once without masks and
    hugging and sneezing.
  25. enjoy your crippled lungs
    So many folks do
    not want the vaccine. More room
    for me on airplanes.
  26. antibodies and auntie betties
    We’re long overdue
    to welcome our relatives
    back into our lives.
  27. peak pfizer
    I will never be
    stronger than clomping through Five
    Below fully vaxxed.
  28. water can’t wash away relaxation
    Even in a burst
    of torrential rain, the dream
    vacation lazed on.
  29. methodical menuing
    It took a few tries,
    but he finally landed
    on the perfect dish.
  30. little doc
    The man can play a
    mean trumpet. A marriage of
    artist and hot brass.
  31. sgt. woodard
    He opened our eyes
    after being blinded by
    white supremacists.
  32. the medium of garbage
    They took out the trash
    and converted it to some
    profitable art.
  33. typecast
    INFJ or
    ESTP, MBT-
    I is DUM.
  34. 51 laps
    On the track, he took
    the punishment of asphalt
    for some 13 miles.
  35. might as well netflix and chill
    They couldn’t agree
    on a movie, time, row or
    location. Just snacks.
  36. nonfictitious license
    Need a long take on
    whaling, or race? I have the
    perfect doc for that.
  37. right shape, wrong texture
    The computer finds
    pies in round shapes with one to
    two crusts. (And cakes, too.)
  38. graduated, sort of
    Their senior year, one
    spent half at home, half in masked
    spaces, fizzling out.
  39. 3 million and counting
    COVID world death toll:
    As if we murdered all of
    Utah this past year.
  40. original? sin
    The smart money’s on
    sequels, reboots, revivals,
    remakes, do-overs.
  41. a pen like lightning
    Deadline? Write faster.
    Space to fill? Write faster. New
    insights? WRITE FASTER!
  42. rocket ship to uravarice
    Is the way to space
    paved with profitable ends?
    One small step for greed.
  43. a pair of pricks
    The first shot feels like
    apprehension. The second,
    a little like hope.
  44. the movie marathoners
    Long past a double
    feature, late into the night
    and next day, they watched.
  45. breakups and acquisitions
    The managers made
    moves, hoping for a payoff
    soon and mightily.
  46. the tub of the past
    The bin held photos
    and letters guiding loved ones
    to kin, history.
  47. the leaky purse
    Out slipped cold hard cash
    and plastic cards long worn down
    from endless swiping.
  48. words matter
    Free speech that causes
    blowback. Cancel culture? No,
    consequence culture.
  49. nicked with an apostrophe
    Sometimes, the perfect
    haiku arrives, ‘cept the loss
    of a syllable.
  50. the schizoid standoff
    He said the voices
    had never lied, unlike his
    weary family.
  51. pots and panic
    Her dating profile
    said she could cook it all. Her
    dating profile lied.
  52. crimes against nurture
    He’s not such a bad
    guy, they’d say in defense. That’s
    just how he was raised.
  53. white crosses as far as the eye can see
    The more veterans
    who commit suicide, the
    darker this day gets.
  54. the unherbalist
    I spray weed killer
    over the lawn. I have be-
    come what I despise.
  55. tuesday wine and cheese
    The hours flew by
    as they shared bits and pieces
    of their little lives.
  56. retreat or retrench
    On top of every-
    thing else, the boss said farewell
    to the dismayed troops.
  57. safety dance
    That weird feeling when
    wearing a mask while certain
    of no one’s status.
  58. line 3 is just retching noises
    Call on line 1, car
    warranty threat. Line 2 wants
    to buy your house now.
  59. the joys of working on ourselves
    We confront our worst
    fears, only to find we still
    have much work to do.
  60. pictures, but in word form
    Reading all about
    TV is often more fun
    than watching the shows.
  61. the chinese of mississippi
    Brought as cheap labor,
    they turned to opening shops
    for the Black townsfolk.
  62. the world’s oldest smartphone
    Calls, some apps, a cracked
    screen, slow charging and a lot
    of hints to upgrade.
  63. the destiny in your own hands
    We do not control
    others. We barely have a
    grip on our own fate.
  64. littlest buggers
    The termites bit through
    the foundation and nibbled
    away at a dream.
  65. real estate, real ante
    They had a tough time
    bidding on houses till they
    offered their first born.
  66. reefer referendum
    As society
    inches ever closer to
    legal pot, breathe in.
  67. quickee settee
    Come on down to the
    furniture palace … pick it,
    carry it, build it.
  68. the chicken hat
    Leave behind something
    to have an excuse to come
    back and make smooches.
  69. one thumb out
    “The movies are like
    a machine that generates
    empathy.” — Ebert
  70. two hundred years from now
    We’ll all be long dead.
    No one will remember us.
    Take comfort in that.
  71. uncle vanya
    When a relative
    goes batty holding down the
    farm. See, Chekhov’s won.
  72. for the juneteenth time
    Freedom Day, where the
    freedom came in dribs and drabs
    for a hundred years.
  73. hot. girl. summer.
    Summer ain’t summer
    without the hottest ladies
    and their sunny smiles.
  74. sweet, sweet home
    A foundation of
    love, windows of hope, shelter
    for souls, room for peace.
  75. to beat the rubik’s cube
    Slide, twist, double back.
    See the future in fifty-
    four shiny stickers.
  76. endemic to the end of the pandemic
    Well, whaddaya know?
    The shots worked, and the world is
    a little safer.
  77. the cost of moving on
    You can’t buy my for-
    giveness. I think it just kind
    of has to happen.
  78. at my parents’ house
    We sat on the same
    sofa, in front of the same
    bookcase, just agog.
  79. generation gapped
    What do you say when
    it’s been decades since you last
    spoke to each other?
  80. a century on wheels
    A formidable
    duo, they sailed down highways
    searching for freedom.
  81. the curve
    She dreaded the spot
    on the interstate where all
    her nerves knotted up.
  82. critical racist theory
    Let’s discuss race, but
    only one, and how that one
    is superior.
  83. a return to normal
    Everyone, feel free
    to be giant assholes to
    each other again.
  84. not to scale
    The digital map
    shows the same twisty line with
    the same twisty length.
  85. holiday weekend bender
    Party. Pass out. Then
    party harder. Pass out. Then
    really party. Hard.
  86. sunny, sunny florida
    It’s been too long, my
    palmy, sandy friend. Pour me
    a tall Sea Breeze, please.
  87. independence? depends
    The land where some are
    free, and the home of a few
    brave. Long may she live.
  88. the master of the grill
    Clean grate, piles of meat.
    Get the heat steady, get the
    tongs ready. Let’s cook.
  89. unmasked
    Tavern full of smiles.
    Hearts gladdened by handshakes and
    hugs as we gather.
  90. slow ride, but in 17 syllables
    They’d call out requests,
    and the humble scribe penned such
    mediocre verse.
  91. the blinder leading the blind
    Sure, I know the way,
    I hollered while nervously
    checking the compass.
  92. the long road ahead
    The car was loaded.
    The tank was full. And we were
    on our way back home.
  93. the wicked tongue
    Don’t ask me. I’ll just
    fill your head with such lies and
    pleasantries no end.
  94. rap squad
    They would turn their pain
    into rhymes, their rhymes into
    beats, beats into truth.
  95. smallest talk
    “I love to hike. Where
    do you hike near here?” “Around
    the hill or the valley.”
  96. pent-up post-pandemic priorities
    Every restaurant
    has a 3-hour wait. Ain’t
    this what we wanted?
  97. we’re all in this together
    Back to flipping off
    drivers, blasting staff. Were we
    ever civilized?
  98. manufactured outage 2021
    Trans kids on sports teams,
    Critical Race Theory and
    (boo!) vaccine passports.
  99. the secret to managing your to-do giant list
    Resetting deadlines
    far into the future and
    marking that lie “done.”
  100. birmingham-style pizza
    A crusty pie with
    vinegar-based sauce and an
    overrated rep.
  101. president boring
    An Oval Office
    where the occupant listens
    and leads with a plan.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

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Wade's Daily Haiku | Photo: Steve Johnson (CC) https://bit.ly/23DJ3yF

Happy Independence Day!

Sunday, July 4, 2021 by Wade Kwon

Video: Celebrate independence while fighting
America’s greatest enemy, tea. It’s “Teen Titans Go!”

•

Happy birthday, America!

Enjoy this cartoon as Robin battles … George Washington for control of the Teen Titans.

The Birmingham channel: Get out, get pumped

Friday, June 25, 2021 by Wade Kwon

A look at Birmingham in videos …

Downtown vlogging, capturing video and shooting pics. From Jimmy Rooney.

More videos, after the jump …

Continued »

The Birmingham channel: The sounds of rock, country, rap and R&B

Friday, June 18, 2021 by Wade Kwon

A look at Birmingham in videos …

Required tests for weather radios (our vertical video of the week). From Landon the EAS Guy 2005.

More videos, after the jump …

Continued »