Wade’s 101: Read my blog

1. Free content.
2. Content-free.
3. The voices in your head will it.
4. Let me tell you about my cats …
5. I’m remodeling my pantry.
6. The cure for the cubicle blues.
7. “Hey, 1995 called, it wants its tired comedy-list format back.”
8. Post a comment, win a pony.
9. I blame the media.
10. I blame the government.
11. I blame the red states.
12. I blame the blue states.
13. Habla español.
14. Proudly sponsored by the good folks at Halliburton.
15. One lucky reader will get a makeover or wife swap or something we can film.
16. We control your hotness/notness.
17. See my picks for UAB vs. UCF and Samford vs. Jax State.
18. Podcasts are gay.
19. You’re mad as hell, and you’re not– hey, free diet pills!
20. Pick my outfit for tomorrow.
21. Current mood: floopy.
22. All the pop-ups fit to pop up.
23. Absolutely filthy haiku.
24. Laugh at the layout, fonts, graphics.
25. The ninth step is admitting you read blogs.
26. Beats working.
27. Beats goofing off from working.
28. Beats pretending to goof off from working.
29. Hurricane evacuees read for free.
30. Part droll, part dry, all snark.
31. Gaze directly at my wretched, shattered soul.
32. Unlike TV, does not rot your brain.
33. Closest thing to a lottery you’ll ever see, sucker.
34. Naked photos …
35. … (of your mom).
36. Every fifth post about “Laguna Beach.”
37. Behold the cranky rantings of a cynical bastard.
38. I quote Nietzsche and Krusty.
39. My medication is holding.
40. (for now)
41. No cliche left behind.
42. Taste the bitterness!
43. Free the hops!
44. Free Scooter Libby!
45. Abandon all hope!
46. Yell random phrases!
47. Support my meth habit.
48. Gonna take down that bitch at Blogtopian Musings.
49. Current mood: bloggy.
50. Some entries will touch you.
51. (inappropriately)
52. George Bush hates blog people.
53. Parenting tips from the one and only Drunk Mom.
54. You might be my next secret crush.
55. No, not you, the hot chick next to you.
56. In the coming BlogWar™, no one will be spared.
57. Debate who is the one true god.
58. “I almost forgot to post today, even though I’ve got nothing.”
59. Next step: morning talk show with daily devotionals.
60. It’s all true, except for the parts I made up.
61. Coded messages to our militia pals in [location censored].
62. My blog, my choice.
63. Think it, post it, pundit.
64. OMG. You link to my blog, I’ll link to yours. BFF!!!!
65. It’s a jihad against boredom.
66. We love smileys … :).
67. Weird headline + jaded writeup = comedy gold.
68. As soon as I get a camera phone, rousing game of “Guess Where I’m Parked.”
69. No one has ever shared their musings online before.
70. Movie reviews based on the trailer and/or poster.
71. Super-secret nicknames for embarrassed friends.
72. Internet fan HQ for “Head Cases” on Fox.
73. Yr txt msg here, k? c u l8r
74. Kwonnie, you’re doing a heckuva job.
75. Crashing the hottest parties in Fultondale.
76. Boost your test scores by 20 percent. Guaranteed.
77. Current mood: outlook not so good.
78. We laugh at you when you’re not visiting.
79. Fashion tips from Monsieur Fancy Pants.
80. Keep (my) hope (for free money) alive.
81. Daily rant against John Mayer.
82. Blogosphere? More like blogotorus.
83. Illiterates welcome.
84. Psst, your productivity is making the rest of us look bad.
85. Sign our online petition to bring Bon Jovi to Australia.
86. Choose the wrong screen name, and we publish your credit card numbers.
87. Cheap ploy to become most popular MySpace user.
88. We retort, you deride.
89. Subverting the macrosynergistic paradigm since 2005.
90. We shall not rest until the troops come home from Mississippi and Louisiana.
91. I got charisma coming out of my yin yang.
92. Skillfully edited to appear rambling, incoherent and inept.
93. OBT: Oprah Book Tuesdays.
94. Creepy updates on my naughty neighbors.
95. Unlike this list, the really really funny stuff.
96. Sadly, this is my career plan.
97. Supports Third World children enslaved to find and post oddball photos for me.
98. If you’re gonna be picky, maybe you shouldn’t read it.
99. Overstock of glass houses, stones.
100. I’m back.
101. Did anyone miss me?

Posted: Monday, November 7, 2005, 7:48 pm, in Wade's 101.
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