Memoirs of a Galleria

The Galleria 10 shut down Sunday after more than 15 years showing movies in Hoover. Two fond memories spring to mind, one mine, one someone else’s.

My fondest memory is also my absolute perfect moviegoing experience. About a year ago, I showed up for an afternoon matinee, shoulder bag loaded with a can of Coke and a box with a half-dozen Krispy Kremes. I don’t even remember what movie it was.

The theater was empty. Pure heaven — I don’t need others to tell me when to laugh, and I don’t need to listen to them yap on their phones for two hours.

Another small miracle: no problems with the picture or sound. I am my own movie jinx most of the time.

I pop open my drink and munch happily on my warm doughnuts.

About a third of the way into the movie, a staffer does the usual circuit, walking in, checking the thermostat, making sure no one is nekkid. He pauses at my row, sees my imported picnic, and asks if there’s anything he can do for me.

Now that’s service.

I politely dismiss him and watch the rest of the movie in sugary blissful silence.

Ah, like my living room, only bigger, and with a less sticky floor. Yes, less sticky.

One of Biff’s best experiences (as a fan, anyway) at the Galleria starts out akin to most of my moviegoing nightmares. He also flies solo to see his movie after chatting with his pal at the ticket window.

He’s alone, until a few teens seat themselves directly behind him.

Naturally, they won’t shut up when the movie starts.

Biff does something I never do. He turns around and politely asks them to please refrain from talking since he’s trying to watch the movie.

Naturally, they won’t shut up. And, they start kicking his seat.

Biff does something else I never do. He leaves to let his friend know that even though he knows there’s not much she can do, a few people are disrupting the movie.

He returns and sits in the same seat, valiantly attempting to ignore the brats behind him.

A few minutes later, the movie stops abruptly. Weird, but not unusual. The lights come up, and a cop comes in.

Uh oh.

The cop hustles the teens outta there, arresting them for … underage drinking. Seems Biff didn’t even notice the under-21 crowd had snuck in a case of beer.

He looks up at the projection booth window and sees his friend smiling and waving.

The movie resumes, the noise and kicking have ceased.

Problem solved.

Ah, Galleria, your time has come and gone, but you will be missed.

Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2005, 1:39 am, in B'ham, Grab Bag, Hoover.
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