Heads and tales: Settlement, stat!
By Wade Kwon
Stock and aw: Birmingham-based healthcare company Healthsouth is paying $445 million to settle class action suits against the company, with no admission of wrongdoing. The plaintiffs will also receive 25 percent of any future judgments against Ernst and Young, UBS and former founder Richard Scrushy. That’s why we invest solely in fat-free chitlins and Martha Stewart bidets.
• HealthSouth reaches $445M agreement on lawsuits [Birmingham Business Journal]
De port! De port!: Forget confiscating nail clippers at the airport or stocking up on duct tape and plastic sheets. How about letting a Middle Eastern country that has banked al Qaida money and recognized the Taliban, as well as supplying two of the 9/11 hijackers, run the Port of Mobile? Not bloody likely, says Gov. Riley. While Mobile isn’t part of the president’s plan to allow six U.S. ports to be managed by a United Arab Emirates-owned company, the governor says Alabama will remain in charge of its own port. Thank Allah, since President Bush says "People don’t need to worry about security."
• Riley: Arab port deal not happening in Alabama [Decatur Daily]
When the Web cost a nickel: Community colleges statewide are helping old folks sign up for Medicare drug benefits. That’s because the new program requires high-speed Internet access. Great idea, that, forcing the elderly to go online to save money on overpriced meds. Because as we all know, Grandpa loves to surf the Web.
• Elderly can get Medicare help at schools [Birmingham News]
Also:
- State officials prepare clinics, vaccines for outbreak of March Madness
- Animals running wild, untaxed in Shelby County
- It’s official: I’ve become my mother, if my mother were still living at home with her parents
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