Hell on wheels

It’s the classic sports movie: Jocks fight against incredible odds. Coach yells a lot. Tragedy strikes when least expected. A climactic battle takes place between bitter rival teams. And the jocks get the girls.

Except it’s a documentary. About rugby players. In wheelchairs.

Welcome to "Murderball." It’s out on DVD, but you can catch it tonight on TV before it competes in one last showdown, the Academy Awards.

The Oscar-nominated documentary feature faces tough competition, especially from higher profile films such as “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” and “March of the Penguins” (though we’ve launched a former protest of the latter — it’s French).

The movie follows the lives of quadriplegic athletes on and off the court, but veers sharply from the ol’ “noble cripple who wants to prove he’s just like regular folk” formula. These jocks don’t want sympathy; they want to bring the pain to their opponents. The baddest of the bad, Mark Zupan (pictured here), won Quad Rugby Player of 2002 and is training for the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing.

The Lakeshore Foundation in Homewood, featured prominently in the film, is the official Olympic training site for Team USA. The not-for-profit organization played host this past weekend to the wheelchair rugby training camp, which takes place there several times annually.

We meet the rivals (and learn to hate Team Canada), the groupies (wow) and the men behind the machismo. It’s entertaining and eye-opening. When they play, they slam into each other with full force in specially designed chairs that can take the punishment.

(OK, so it’s not so conventional. In our sequel, the wheelchair nerds rise up against the wheelchair jocks.)

But can they beat … the penguins? The Oscars air live at 7 p.m. Sunday on ABC 33/40.

“Murderball” airs at 9 tonight on A&E, repeating at 1 a.m. Wednesday and 11 a.m. March 12.