Tuesday Night Lights: Unmade in America
By Wade Kwon
Forget basketball. Who cares about hockey? On MTV, it’s football season … again.
“Two-a-Days” is back, with a semi-new crew of players, cheerleaders and a more sensitive(!) Coach Propst. Don’t believe us? Drop and give us 20, slacker. Um, pretty please?
We’ve got the inside scoop on Tuesday’s premiere — including how to watch it for free, how to get a leg up on your fellow Bucs fans, and the exciting (read: creepy) new cheerleading coach.
Someone needs a hug …
Highlights from episode 1, season 2 of the MTV reality series …
Double header: Seriously, this must be the bizarro season. We join our undefeated heroes during the fifth game of the season, against John Curtis. Cross-town rivals? Nope, a visiting team from New Orleans, which also happens to be Louisiana state champs.
Uh oh.
Go Patrioots.
The Bucs lose 28-14. Ugh, first loss of the season, wrecking any chance at winning a national championship. Even worse, Coach Propst is going to go ballistic in the locker room.
“I’ll take full blame, responsibility. I put too much pressure on this football team. And I failed you as a head football coach. I’m as down as I’ve ever been,” he says, subdued.
Wha?! Last year, he was cussin’ up a storm, the infamous “Ding!” speech. Time to bring them back for extra practice on Sunday, and threaten to pull their scholarship recommendations.
Propst concludes, “I love you. I don’t tell you that enough. And I apologize to you.” Holy crap, is this “Two-a-Days” or freakin’ Oprah?
Mark, left, and Charlie are all about making themselves pretty.
Manscaping: And now, gratuitous shots of players grooming themselves. Meet Mark and Charlie. Mark’s been playing football since second grade and seeing Hoover games with his dad. Charlie likes to play, but football isn’t his life.
And it seems the players have lost any interest in playing for a state championship, now that their national hopes have been dashed. Charlie: “It’s, like, what do we even have to work for anymore, another state championship?” (Foreshadowing.)
Rock. On.
Cheer factor: Our nominee for spinoff show? Not the quarterback, not the weirdo parents. No, our new teevee pal is Coach Shane Martin, former football player turned cheerleader leader. What happened to the cookie cake lovin’, remember-this-moment mother figure from last season?
Who cares? Coach Martin rocks the long hair and the ’stasche! Will he and his peppy cadets save the game? (Foreshadowing.)
Fear the thumbsucker; Elliot, left, and Brittany face the future.
No place like Homecoming: Just like last season, the Bucs lost for the first time right before Homecoming. It’s the worst possible time for Coach Propst to go soft, as the distractions mount. Who’s going to the big dance? Can the team bounce back against Minor? What’s with the cowboys and Indians theme day?
And really, what’s with all the football? What happened to teen romance? Meet Brittany, head cheerleader and girlfriend to Mark. (Mark: We’ve been going out for “three years, two months.” Aw, he remembered! Sweet.) While decorating for Homecoming at the Hoover Met, she and cheerleader BFF Elliot discuss … The Future. Brittany, already bittersweet about her senior year, wants to go to whatever college recruits Mark. She’s cried about it four times. Awwwwwww …
Shaney’s got a gun.
Minor challenge: Hoover takes on Minor, and things return to normal. Propst yells at the players on the sideline. He yells at them during halftime in the locker room. The team scrapes out a 21-14 win.
The turning point? Obviously, when Coach Martin rallies his ponytailed troops with a huddled pep talk. Cap + locks + attitude = awesome.
After the dance, Mark and Brittany share a quiet moment (read, make out) on a back porch in the suburbs. Which can only mean one thing: trouble ahead.
Hard out here for a primp:
Charlie, left, and Mark prepare for the dance.
“Two-a-Days” airs at 9 p.m. Tuesdays on MTV, repeating throughout the week and available for free online.
The season premiere airs at 4 p.m. Tuesday — download it for free on iTunes; episode 2 also sneaks early at 3:30 p.m. Feb. 6.
Previously: Looking ahead to season 2.
And next: Can they beat those hated Vestavia Hills Rebels?
Also:
- Our pal Erin shows how Hoover High has made thousands of dollars on merchandising alone
- Download this episode for free or buy the entire season.
• • •
Dude, more “Two-a-Days.”
Wednesday, January 31, 2007, 9:35 am
I love how Probst says that Vestavia plays dirty. Pot, meet Kettel.
We know the outcome of the matchup (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmWkWu_hy88), but it’ll be fun to see how MTV portrays our beloved Rebels this year. The play of the game (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ1lIP7cl24) was when Vestavia’s QB got away from the Buc defense in the first half… can’t wait to see what Probst told the team at halftime to get them to come out fighting in the second half.
Monday, February 5, 2007, 4:03 am
I’m so excited that Two-A-Days is back! What’s up with the new Coach Propst? His hugs and kisses attitude doesn’t seem to be helping the boys play any better. Thanks for your hilarious highlights, Wade! More recaps, as always, at My Favorite Shows .