Alabama Theatre 2014 Holiday Film Series: the ultimate guide

Alabama Theatre

The Alabama Theatre’s 2014 Holiday Film Series starts next week: 11 days, nine movies and a few cartoons. Plus, the Mighty Wurlitzer will lead the audience in Christmas carols before each screening.

Movies start at 7 p.m. unless otherwise noted.

All shows are $8, except “The Polar Express” which is $12 (fund-raiser for Kid One Transport; includes conductor’s hat, candy and photo with Santa). Tickets available online through Ticketmaster and at the door.

The Alabama Theatre is located at 1817 Third Ave. N., downtown [map]. For more information, visit the website or call (205) 252-2262.

White Christmas

Dec. 12 and Dec. 21 (2 p.m. matinee): Fred Astaire said no. Donald O’Connor dropped out because of Q fever (thanks, Francis the Mule!). So we got Danny Kaye. Oh, and Bing Crosby sings “White Christmas” in a movie for the third time, because … Bing.

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The Polar Express

Dec. 13 (10 a.m. and 2 p.m. matinees): Creepy Tom Hanks is creepy.

Also, from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., children can try out the hands-on modes of transportation exhibit outside.

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It’s a Wonderful Life

Dec. 13 and Dec. 20: Shout out to the commenter who likened UAB’s dismantling to a “Pottersville-type vision.”

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Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

Dec. 14 (2 p.m. matinee): Kris Kringle fails to produce his long-form birth certificate, but is saved when the President issues an executive order on illegal immigration.

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Christmas Vacation

Dec. 15 and Dec. 22, plus Dec. 20 at midnight … and bonus screening on Dec. 23: Kids, National Lampoon totally used to be a thing. First a humor mag, then books, albums, radio shows, plays and movies. Marvel should totally do plays, by the way. “Iron Man 4: The Importance of Being Awesome.”

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Home Alone

Dec. 16: Two entrepreneurs scrape by in a depressed economy, thwarted at every turn by a bratty, privileged suburban kid who expresses himself through lashing out.

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Scrooged

Dec. 17: Every Christmas TV episode is either “A Christmas Carol” or “It’s a Wonderful Life” (I guess “The Gift of the Magi” has been retired). This is the best version of the former with Bill Murray.

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Elf

Dec. 18 … and bonus screening on Dec. 21: The four main food groups — candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup — were based on the actual FDA recommendations at the time in 2003.

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A Christmas Story

Dec. 19: If you’re gonna watch the 24-hour cable marathon of this movie, you’re gonna need to warm up first.

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Cartoons

Dec. 20 (2 p.m. matinee): A triple-feature …

“A Charlie Brown Christmas”: Can’t wait to see the big screen CGI remake of this (rolls eyes) …
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”: Bullies are the worst, y’all.
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas”: He dropped football, bowling and rifle.