Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 37
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- life in the future
Phones without backups
and stolen identities
and dead batteries. - The Future of Birmingham: 5-7-5
The Two Ms. DavisesPart 1
Wander block by block
to meet residents held back
by artlessness, fear.Part 2
The schools drive away
people. The politics drive
away people, too.Part 3
Only the stubborn
and the impoverished stay
behind, fate be damned.Part 4
They need their city
to be more than it is, to
be kinder, safer.Part 5
They need some steady
income, and a way to get
around easily.Part 6
The townsfolk campaign
for new leaders, not the crooks
who line their pockets.Part 7
Let Ms. Davis take
charge, they say. She’ll stand up for
our community.Part 8
Reluctantly, Ms.
Davis agrees, though her job
and kids rule her days.Part 9
“Mayor Davis Wins!”
the headlines read. City Hall
welcomes its new chief.Part 10
She fixes potholes,
fields complaints, cuts taxes and
works past 11.Part 11
The voters keep tabs
on the mayor, who always
looks out for their needs.Part 12
Her teen daughters and
little boy see her only
on TV at night.Part 13
The eldest stays with
a friend for weeks. The middle
child’s grades soon plummet.Part 14
And the youngest gets
into fights at school, so the
principal calls Mom.Part 15
The municipal
house is in order, barely.
Her house is a wreck.Part 16
“Mayor Davis Quits!”
the headlines read. City Hall
loses its old boss.Part 17
She gathers her brood
into a sweeping hug and
holds on for dear life.Part 18
Madame Mayor goes
back to humble matriarch,
putting kids to bed.Part 19
Her civic progress
was quickly undone. All the
neighbors wailed and moaned.Part 20
Ms. Davis served out
her real term to her three-child
constituency. - the 12 days of no mas
The station’s Christmas
music played from September
till … I burned it down. - dusty assets
In their rush to build
a future, they forgot what
treasures the past held. - drama at 2030
Toddler bedtime is
a mix of dancing, tears, light
bargaining and hugs. - ingredients for a costume
Hidden stitching, a
wig, maybe an accent, props
and a loss of self. - mostly hands-free commute
Self-driving cars will
give us the freedom to flip
off other riders. - on turning 10 in blog years
Welcome to my blog.
Today, it turns 10 years old.
Now where is the cake? - a meeting 212 years in the making
The world’s oldest man
and woman should hook up for
burgers and moshing. - the little highway that couldn’t
Traffic kept the lanes
thick with cars. More lanes, more cars.
Fewer lights, more cars. - a reflection in hilarity
Let us laugh at our
foibles and shortcomings till
we forget hatred. - cover up your point
Empathy is when
you see my point. Comedy
is when I see yours. - soulful turmoil
The inner child and
the spirit animal got
into such mischief. - when you’re too in love to let it go
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones, and I
will try to fix you. - the guide to carving the perfect jack-o’lantern
Make a scary face
and carve it into the side
of a fresh pumpkin. - forever pork
Barbecue is the
perfect food, except if you
ask the pig himself. - winter 2015 in the south
El Niño will bring
his chilly chattering and
a damp demeanor. - the tiniest inkling
What do we under-
stand of the world and our place
in bettering it? - yoso: you only study once
Homework is always
best done at the last minute
and with little thought. - two-wheeled wanderers
The new cyclists rode
for blocks before stopping to
admire the streets. - chains of desire
What defines a cool
city is not retailers
but local flavors. - the wisdom of christopher turk
“Mothers and daughters …
they speak so fast, but they speak
so true.” And they’re back! - chocolate ghosts and sugar phantoms
What good is stocking
up early for Halloween
if I eat it all? - barbell bummer
He loves to lift weights.
His arms love it. His hips, too.
His back … not so much. - the precise baker
Measure and weigh, sift
and let sit. Check for doneness,
frost after cooling. - tongs and tongues at the ready
Pastry chambers at
the Mexican bakery
tempt with scents and hues. - broken people
Broken people get
up in the morning and sleep
at night still broken. - the anti-halloween sport
Bobbing for apples
is too healthy. Exercise,
fruit and water? Pass. - the shaming of a lifetime
An Internet faux
pas warrants derision and
humiliation. - the hierarchy of candy
Good chocolate, Pop
Rocks, Reese’s Cups, gummy bears,
Peanut M&Ms. - the clothes make the myth
Layer on layer
of artifice to reveal
a hidden true self. - the lone checker
The late shoppers made
their way, baskets in hand, to
pay for and bag their fare. - even pagans need love, too
In the dark of the
suburban streets, a gang of
devils hunted treats. - an extra hour
An extra hour
to sleep, to meditate, to
worship and to love. - organizational perils
Everything goes in
this bin, save for the odds and
ends that go elsewhere. - uplifting the powerless
A laptop with a
dying battery. A man
with a screwdriver. - the neverending worry
I have so many
things I want to do today.
This week. This lifetime. - the humane condition
We all make mistakes.
Some of us forgive ourselves.
Others agonize. - candy crushers
Let’s stop calling them
“smartphones.” They’re making us all
dumber with each glance. - at my annual flu shot
With a single stick,
I banish thee foul virus— ACK!
OH MY FRAGILE ARM! - rise of the telepresence robots
Gail rolled from cube to
cube, awkwardly chit-chatting
through a cracked iPad. - le mot unjuste
The best insult cuts
deep and without sting, letting
the blood drain for days. - a many-splendored box
Shipping containers
to live in, to shop in, to
work in, to ship stuff. - valor
They did the job, and
they did it with courage and
grace. We thank them all. - contrary to popular beliefs
College students face
down the biggest and smallest
of injustices. - ideas for superhero movies
Heroine vs.
female villain. Musical!
4D. Masks for all. - vive la paris
Liberty always.
Equality forever.
Fraternity now. - the lone waiter
Five parties walked in
needing tables, and a tot
just swiped the menus. - the magic coupon
“Good for one free hug.”
It never expired, and
it never ran out. - never us
Them is who we keep
out. Them is who we fight, who
we fear, who we blame. - otherworldly acquaintances
In another life,
we could be great friends or at
least, not as distant. - trample the earth or build virtual worlds
Sharing Minecraft vids
is the riding dirt bikes of
this generation. - little triumphs
The cart that doesn’t
wobble. The line that moves the
fastest. A rainbow. - spycraft for dummies
Secret agents work
with secret agencies on
secret agendas. - hello, can you hear me?
I pick up the phone,
but no one responds. Again.
Adele butt-dialed me. - permanent shiver
His skin went from pink
to grayish-blue, icicles
forming on his nose. - let the turkey thaw
Seventeen pounds of
frozen fowl sit in the fridge
before the big roast. - from her beacon-hand glows world-wide welcome
“Give me your tired,
your poor, your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free.” - except for the turkey
Count your blessings. An
attitude of gratitude.
So very thankful. - in line to buy a tv and sweaters
Eating Thanksgiving
dinner in the chilly night
to save a few bucks. - in line to buy a tv and sweaters
Eating Thanksgiving
dinner in the chilly night
to save a few bucks. - the weakness of the soul
He had nothing to
do with the problem yet still
found room for self-blame. - top dogs and strays
The best ones can be
underappreciated
but still remain true. - meanwhile at the north pole
The elves tested each
drone for their delivery
flight on Christmas Eve. - the degraded outdoors
Why must we spoil
these lovely days and nights out-
side with TV screens? - support your local librarian
Bring a coffee and
sweets for the finder of good
books and deep knowledge. - the shortcut through the alley
Their night out ended
with a gun in their faces
and wallets long gone. - well of corruption
Everyone was on
the take: cops, lawyers, mayors,
judges, everyone. - the road never taken
Off in the distance
are dreams never dreamt and plans
never carried out. - another holiday for pennies
Wrapping paper from
grocery bags and stocking
stuffers from the job. - pound the alarm
Be vigilant for
those who use foreign numbers:
The metric system. - a tinsel economy
Two strands for a pie.
A whole roll for a roast goose.
No refunds or trades. - a walmart world
Discounts everywhere
built on dirt cheap labor and
even cheaper crap. - dot’s all
The true fate of a
text rests on whether it ends
with a … period. - toothy transaction
She breaks in to steal
your bones and leave cash for them.
An oral pawn shop. - the tiniest kitchen
Chop veggies or sift
flour. Wash one dish or snack
on chips. Soup for none. - a heat miser holiday
Warm December days
perfect for swimming pools and
suntans and Noel. - the perfect office present
Coffee or small gift
cards or engraved luggage tags
or another round. - happy life day
Let the fur fly and
the sabers sizzle on this
spacey holiday. - brawl at city hall
That time the mayor
and council member traded
blows instead of words. - there is no try
“The Force will be with
you. Always.” “Let the Wookiee
win.” “Do. Or do not.” - rules for distributing candy from a christmas parade float
Actually, there’s
only one rule to keep in
mind: Do not run out. - heart attacks and respiratory failure
The students save the
dummy’s life repeatedly.
Make better choices! - the case for going out
Outside is hiking
and new restaurants and fresh
scenery and friends. - tropical noel
The flip-flops are hung
by the chimney with care. Cold
beers will soon be there. - vacation mode engaged
The body is in
the office, but the mind is
somewhere on Pluto. - adolescent holiday madness
Waiting for Santa
is unbearable when you
want nothing but toys. - baby, it’s warm outside
I really can’t stay
I’ve got to go away. This
evening has been … gross. - the 2015th noel
The angel did tweet,
was to certain poor shepherds
in fields as they sleep. - hanlon’s haiku
Don’t attribute to
malice that which is explained
by stupidity. - typhoons in dixie
Downpours without end.
Lightning, thundering, flooding.
Christmas underwater. - a coalition of the unwilling
Across Bama, a
wide range of awful leaders
keep us from progress. - unfinished business
The new year cometh,
but my planner has a bunch
of to-dos to do. - ridesharing for fun and profit
Amateur cabbies
hauled load after load of boors
and drunkards homeward. - resolutions day 365
Did we lose all the
weight and make all the money
and enrich our lives? - a leap year ahead
Enough time to do
all the things we planned with an
extra day to laugh. - body language lessons
The heart wants better
but reflexive eye rolls are
a dead giveaway. - the south’s weight will rise again
Fat shaming no more.
Take pride in our expanding
borders and big bones. - the purring of motors
Not crickets, but the
refrigerator. Not cats,
but the high street lights. - middle class 1914-2015
Blame whomever, we’re
facing long years of working
and not getting by. - carpe assets
Seize the moment. Seize
the day. Seize everything. The
new police motto.
• • •
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Monday, January 11, 2016, 1:05 am
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