Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 42
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- a surplus of mush
No import tax on
love. Bring in all we can to
mend those broken hearts. - the midnight tweet of paul revere
He shouted online,
“The Russians are coming! The
Russians are coming!” - a scratching at the screen door
Not just any poor
stray could fill the cat-sized hole
in her battered heart. - arson as a national policy
Everything is on
fire, and the rescue crew
brings their gasoline. - as the campfire crackles
A bevy of tales
about haunted cabins and
assorted Yeti. - faith in everything and nothing
America, where
you can believe any damn
manner of nonsense. - coffee summit
Sure, a pastry and
a pause before driving in.
But first: Let’s caffeine. - after the drought
Drop by drop, the lake
refilled, bringing much needed
mud and soggy dirt. - what comes next
Post-science, post-fact,
post-truth, post-irony and
post-hypocrisy. - for you and you alone
You will persevere.
The trillions (who won’t read this)
do not stand a chance. - on high alert
Nerves worn and yet still
working, every input a
threat. Sheer exhaustion. - demending the constitution
Seven amendments
are on hold: first, fourth, fifth, sixth,
seventh, eighth and ninth. - best pictures
Actress dates jazz fiend.
Boyhood, teenhood, then manhood.
Black female eggheads. - mistakes were made
Sometimes, you just need
to grab an envelope and
hope it’s the right one. - the mystery of flight
Knowing how airplanes
work, I’d rather stay planted
on terra firma. - care less
You should care about
this issue and not that one,
since care is finite. - naked mouth bones
The camera doesn’t
lie: Cuspids and molars need
patching and prodding. - she knows what’s what
Respect the words of
Daria Morgendorffer,
wise beyond her years. - in the bleak mild winter
Spring will be so hot.
And summer will be hotter.
And fall … a meltdown. - a book that you can put down
The protagonist
needs a better romance and
a nicer townhouse. - things are looking not down
No job, no food, no
house and no prospects. At least
we have our … dammit. - buddha once said
The surest path to
enlightenment can be found
in my new podcast. - overlooking the rhyme scheme
She didn’t care for
flowery verses but still
married the poet. - the princess
Her reign is noted
not so much for her royal
bearing but whining. - sunnydale, 20 years later
Buffy Anne Summers.
Beloved sister, friend. She
saved the world. A lot. - hands-free chronology
Amputated clocks
tell time on demand or show
their floating digits. - homegrown hate
We overlook the
face of terrorism when
it resembles ours. - uninquiring minds
Check yourself. I am
not here to reinforce your
selfish narrative. - binary watchdogs
Every device a
spy, every lens a snitch, all
in the name of peace. - snow where land
The snow flurries seem
more magical when falling
far away from here. - preening to death
He gazed at himself,
too busy for the lost art
of humility. - the citizen kane of animated film
Man finds singing frog
but lacks business plan. Puts him
back in cornerstone. - the truth about cats and dogs
Bulldog finds kitten,
fosters her while suspecting
human makes cookies. - wagner writ looney
Rabbit on fat horse
outwits Viking wielding spear
and magic helmet. - blue notes
The air is heavy
and my limbs are heavy and
I can’t get started. - you click, they deliver
Army of drivers
arrives with groceries, dry
cleaning and diapers. - comfort food questionnaire
Crunchy or smooth pea-
nut butter? Strawberry or
grape jelly? Toasted? - the round earth society
Despite all of the
evidence, some place their faith
in a world made flat. - if elation lasts more than 4 hours
Laughing at oneself?
Pre-existing condition,
high deductible. - rock on comedy
The high point of a
great routine is the silent
anticipation. - natural invasion
The rainfall outside
echoes the lone ceiling drip
inside plop for plop. - spring has arrived
Across the city
came the good news in barks and
chirps and shouts and sighs. - the perfect bracket
Strength of schedule plus
hot streaks, seeding, some luck and
a touch of madness. - the rationale
The plan is to do
whatever I feel at the
ongoing moment. - everything’s coming up russian
You’ll be rich. You’ll be
strong. Gonna have Putin rule
for so long. Da! Da! - distress signal
A candle, barely
aflame with a wisp of smoke
and unsteady wick. - may third fool’s day
Real pranksters wouldn’t
pick the most obvious day
to unleash mayhem. - negging the magic city
Pretty cool statue,
what’s with the ass worship and
the misshapen leg? - the online world of hucksterism
Read the wonderful
free financial, medical
and legal advice. - surviving the late 2010s
Comfort food, comfort
television, therapy
dog, fuzzy bathrobe. - to sleep, perchance to rest
The clock, a silent
sentinel, marks the hours
till dawn’s weary light. - pain points
The pill makes it all
go away, the suffering,
aches and family. - self-devaluation
Are we able to
cast as critical an eye
at us as others? - smells like villainy
When will the outright
snatching of infants’ noses
be stopped in its tracks? - arthouse anguish
Documentary
so depressing, I’m in tears
from the beginning. - the next step is always the hardest
We can hold fast, or
shuffle off to the side, or
soberly mark time. - the love song of r. julian bentley
I put my hands on
your breasts and just pull you real
close. I love that, too. - a new day, a new leader
In Alabama,
we shed corrupt officials
to bring in worse ones. - all’s well in trumpland
Our leader is smart
and strong. We’re thriving and free.
All’s well in Trumpland. - no fate but what we make
The pen is in our
hand. For us, the next chapter
is to be written. - meditation instruction
Sit, knees below waist.
Breathe in, eyes open, breathe out.
Repeat until wise. - bunny was here
Scampering offspring
search high and low for brightly
painted orbs of hens. - the baker has gone home
Racks, once brimming with
golden confections, offer
nothing more than crumbs. - the unseen forces of nature
The wind that powers
the boat also fuels fire
and kicks up downpours. - canine-one-one
A dog from the streets
teams up with prisoner to
help disabled man. - the promise of live video
The chance to see our
selves as the despicable
animals we are. - beyond calculus
Mom has to perform
complex equations to make
ends meet just barely. - all’s well in dixieland
Our governance is
spotless. We feast like kings. All’s
well in Dixieland. - soldiers in lab coats
The people cried out:
“We don’t want to know the truth!”
Science marches on. - augmented inebriation
I want a headset
that shows virtual arrows
to the nearest bar. - periodic fable
They can have science
when they pry it from my cold
dead robotic hands. - the joke’s on us
When reality
is stranger than fiction, laugh
at the sane and meek. - happy happy joy joy
The key is to seek
joy and purpose with each step.
Or drink heavily. - one day at a time
She stared at the wine
bottle. Sighed. Folded her hands.
Stared at it and prayed. - global broiling
If you can’t stand the
heat, get out of the kitchen
known as Planet Earth. - too much happy
A day so packed with
activities you almost
forget to (gasp!) breathe. - before the battery dies
Return texts, check the
game score, take one more selfie
and call in sick to - talk o’ tuesday
Celebrate with a
hard shell and a soft shell and
mucho, mucho cheese. - crushing dissent
Round up the trouble-
makers. Run them over, or
fire the tear gas. - a recipe for pound cake
A pound of sugar,
flour, eggs and butter, mixed,
baked, cooled and eaten. - premium deluxe
The only good health
insurance plan is to be
born super wealthy. - the real world awaits
Gowns tossed aside, caps
flung in joy, time to get to
work and pay off loans. - a baser muse
Inspiration comes
in the form of hungry kids
and overdue bills. - the icing remained silent
From the break room, the
lone cupcake cried, “Won’t someone
fill their void with me?” - artificial enchantment
Are spambots really
that bad if they’re livelier
than most real people? - where there’s smoke
The guilty party
must protest his innocence
loudly and often. - always on
The performer seeks
a spotlight, the chance to shine
brighter than his peers. - the art of bart
I didn’t do it,
no one saw me do it, you
can’t prove anything! - the allure of the screen
The brightness of the
vision matches the brightness
of that teen’s phone screen. - ticking clock syndrome
Getting it done, though
our hours are better spent
away from deadlines. - ego jiu-jitsu
Laugh at yourself and
join the crowd. Self-mockery
is unmatchable. - zip car
Impatient driver
swerves around snails and turtles
to save a minute. - mash texts
u r soo adorbs
no u r sooo totes adorbs
x o x o x - embroiled
A corruption so
deep even the crooks hold their
noses in disgust. - a visit from the depression fairy
She comes at bedtime,
seated comfortably on
my tightening chest. - we don’t deserve dogs
Happy wagging tails
attached to slobber machines
of joy and friendship. - clink the glasses
Share words of welcome,
of hopes and of good tidings
and clink the glasses. - the cap and gown crowd
They shed their new robes
to spread their wings. Ready to
soar without guidance. - the stranger wearing the gold medal
She won the race in
sandals, driven by beer, smart
running and pure will. - four photos
First, intrigued. Second,
smitten. Third, curiouser.
Fourth, head over heels. - driverless bumper cars
They smack into each
other with maximum force
while kids play on phones.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101.
Read more haiku.
Subscribe via RSS to Wade’s Daily Haiku. Or have it delivered daily by e-mail.
[Share on Twitter]
Sunday, May 28, 2017, 12:05 am
[…] Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 42 […]