Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 42


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  1. a surplus of mush
    No import tax on
    love. Bring in all we can to
    mend those broken hearts.
  2. the midnight tweet of paul revere
    He shouted online,
    “The Russians are coming! The
    Russians are coming!”
  3. a scratching at the screen door
    Not just any poor
    stray could fill the cat-sized hole
    in her battered heart.
  4. arson as a national policy
    Everything is on
    fire, and the rescue crew
    brings their gasoline.
  5. as the campfire crackles
    A bevy of tales
    about haunted cabins and
    assorted Yeti.
  6. faith in everything and nothing
    America, where
    you can believe any damn
    manner of nonsense.
  7. coffee summit
    Sure, a pastry and
    a pause before driving in.
    But first: Let’s caffeine.
  8. after the drought
    Drop by drop, the lake
    refilled, bringing much needed
    mud and soggy dirt.
  9. what comes next
    Post-science, post-fact,
    post-truth, post-irony and
  10. for you and you alone
    You will persevere.
    The trillions (who won’t read this)
    do not stand a chance.
  11. on high alert
    Nerves worn and yet still
    working, every input a
    threat. Sheer exhaustion.
  12. demending the constitution
    Seven amendments
    are on hold: first, fourth, fifth, sixth,
    seventh, eighth and ninth.
  13. best pictures
    Actress dates jazz fiend.
    Boyhood, teenhood, then manhood.
    Black female eggheads.
  14. mistakes were made
    Sometimes, you just need
    to grab an envelope and
    hope it’s the right one.
  15. the mystery of flight
    Knowing how airplanes
    work, I’d rather stay planted
    on terra firma.
  16. care less
    You should care about
    this issue and not that one,
    since care is finite.
  17. naked mouth bones
    The camera doesn’t
    lie: Cuspids and molars need
    patching and prodding.
  18. she knows what’s what
    Respect the words of
    Daria Morgendorffer,
    wise beyond her years.
  19. in the bleak mild winter
    Spring will be so hot.
    And summer will be hotter.
    And fall … a meltdown.
  20. a book that you can put down
    The protagonist
    needs a better romance and
    a nicer townhouse.
  21. things are looking not down
    No job, no food, no
    house and no prospects. At least
    we have our … dammit.
  22. buddha once said
    The surest path to
    enlightenment can be found
    in my new podcast.
  23. overlooking the rhyme scheme
    She didn’t care for
    flowery verses but still
    married the poet.
  24. the princess
    Her reign is noted
    not so much for her royal
    bearing but whining.
  25. sunnydale, 20 years later
    Buffy Anne Summers.
    Beloved sister, friend. She
    saved the world. A lot.
  26. hands-free chronology
    Amputated clocks
    tell time on demand or show
    their floating digits.
  27. homegrown hate
    We overlook the
    face of terrorism when
    it resembles ours.
  28. uninquiring minds
    Check yourself. I am
    not here to reinforce your
    selfish narrative.
  29. binary watchdogs
    Every device a
    spy, every lens a snitch, all
    in the name of peace.
  30. snow where land
    The snow flurries seem
    more magical when falling
    far away from here.
  31. preening to death
    He gazed at himself,
    too busy for the lost art
    of humility.
  32. the citizen kane of animated film
    Man finds singing frog
    but lacks business plan. Puts him
    back in cornerstone.
  33. the truth about cats and dogs
    Bulldog finds kitten,
    fosters her while suspecting
    human makes cookies.
  34. wagner writ looney
    Rabbit on fat horse
    outwits Viking wielding spear
    and magic helmet.
  35. blue notes
    The air is heavy
    and my limbs are heavy and
    I can’t get started.
  36. you click, they deliver
    Army of drivers
    arrives with groceries, dry
    cleaning and diapers.
  37. comfort food questionnaire
    Crunchy or smooth pea-
    nut butter? Strawberry or
    grape jelly? Toasted?
  38. the round earth society
    Despite all of the
    evidence, some place their faith
    in a world made flat.
  39. if elation lasts more than 4 hours
    Laughing at oneself?
    Pre-existing condition,
    high deductible.
  40. rock on comedy
    The high point of a
    great routine is the silent
  41. natural invasion
    The rainfall outside
    echoes the lone ceiling drip
    inside plop for plop.
  42. spring has arrived
    Across the city
    came the good news in barks and
    chirps and shouts and sighs.
  43. the perfect bracket
    Strength of schedule plus
    hot streaks, seeding, some luck and
    a touch of madness.
  44. the rationale
    The plan is to do
    whatever I feel at the
    ongoing moment.
  45. everything’s coming up russian
    You’ll be rich. You’ll be
    strong. Gonna have Putin rule
    for so long. Da! Da!
  46. distress signal
    A candle, barely
    aflame with a wisp of smoke
    and unsteady wick.
  47. may third fool’s day
    Real pranksters wouldn’t
    pick the most obvious day
    to unleash mayhem.
  48. negging the magic city
    Pretty cool statue,
    what’s with the ass worship and
    the misshapen leg?
  49. the online world of hucksterism
    Read the wonderful
    free financial, medical
    and legal advice.
  50. surviving the late 2010s
    Comfort food, comfort
    television, therapy
    dog, fuzzy bathrobe.
  51. to sleep, perchance to rest
    The clock, a silent
    sentinel, marks the hours
    till dawn’s weary light.
  52. pain points
    The pill makes it all
    go away, the suffering,
    aches and family.
  53. self-devaluation
    Are we able to
    cast as critical an eye
    at us as others?
  54. smells like villainy
    When will the outright
    snatching of infants’ noses
    be stopped in its tracks?
  55. arthouse anguish
    so depressing, I’m in tears
    from the beginning.
  56. the next step is always the hardest
    We can hold fast, or
    shuffle off to the side, or
    soberly mark time.
  57. the love song of r. julian bentley
    I put my hands on
    your breasts and just pull you real
    close. I love that, too.
  58. a new day, a new leader
    In Alabama,
    we shed corrupt officials
    to bring in worse ones.
  59. all’s well in trumpland
    Our leader is smart
    and strong. We’re thriving and free.
    All’s well in Trumpland.
  60. no fate but what we make
    The pen is in our
    hand. For us, the next chapter
    is to be written.
  61. meditation instruction
    Sit, knees below waist.
    Breathe in, eyes open, breathe out.
    Repeat until wise.
  62. bunny was here
    Scampering offspring
    search high and low for brightly
    painted orbs of hens.
  63. the baker has gone home
    Racks, once brimming with
    golden confections, offer
    nothing more than crumbs.
  64. the unseen forces of nature
    The wind that powers
    the boat also fuels fire
    and kicks up downpours.
  65. canine-one-one
    A dog from the streets
    teams up with prisoner to
    help disabled man.
  66. the promise of live video
    The chance to see our
    selves as the despicable
    animals we are.
  67. beyond calculus
    Mom has to perform
    complex equations to make
    ends meet just barely.
  68. all’s well in dixieland
    Our governance is
    spotless. We feast like kings. All’s
    well in Dixieland.
  69. soldiers in lab coats
    The people cried out:
    “We don’t want to know the truth!”
    Science marches on.
  70. augmented inebriation
    I want a headset
    that shows virtual arrows
    to the nearest bar.
  71. periodic fable
    They can have science
    when they pry it from my cold
    dead robotic hands.
  72. the joke’s on us
    When reality
    is stranger than fiction, laugh
    at the sane and meek.
  73. happy happy joy joy
    The key is to seek
    joy and purpose with each step.
    Or drink heavily.
  74. one day at a time
    She stared at the wine
    bottle. Sighed. Folded her hands.
    Stared at it and prayed.
  75. global broiling
    If you can’t stand the
    heat, get out of the kitchen
    known as Planet Earth.
  76. too much happy
    A day so packed with
    activities you almost
    forget to (gasp!) breathe.
  77. before the battery dies
    Return texts, check the
    game score, take one more selfie
    and call in sick to
  78. talk o’ tuesday
    Celebrate with a
    hard shell and a soft shell and
    mucho, mucho cheese.
  79. crushing dissent
    Round up the trouble-
    makers. Run them over, or
    fire the tear gas.
  80. a recipe for pound cake
    A pound of sugar,
    flour, eggs and butter, mixed,
    baked, cooled and eaten.
  81. premium deluxe
    The only good health
    insurance plan is to be
    born super wealthy.
  82. the real world awaits
    Gowns tossed aside, caps
    flung in joy, time to get to
    work and pay off loans.
  83. a baser muse
    Inspiration comes
    in the form of hungry kids
    and overdue bills.
  84. the icing remained silent
    From the break room, the
    lone cupcake cried, “Won’t someone
    fill their void with me?”
  85. artificial enchantment
    Are spambots really
    that bad if they’re livelier
    than most real people?
  86. where there’s smoke
    The guilty party
    must protest his innocence
    loudly and often.
  87. always on
    The performer seeks
    a spotlight, the chance to shine
    brighter than his peers.
  88. the art of bart
    I didn’t do it,
    no one saw me do it, you
    can’t prove anything!
  89. the allure of the screen
    The brightness of the
    vision matches the brightness
    of that teen’s phone screen.
  90. ticking clock syndrome
    Getting it done, though
    our hours are better spent
    away from deadlines.
  91. ego jiu-jitsu
    Laugh at yourself and
    join the crowd. Self-mockery
    is unmatchable.
  92. zip car
    Impatient driver
    swerves around snails and turtles
    to save a minute.
  93. mash texts
    u r soo adorbs
    no u r sooo totes adorbs
    x o x o x
  94. embroiled
    A corruption so
    deep even the crooks hold their
    noses in disgust.
  95. a visit from the depression fairy
    She comes at bedtime,
    seated comfortably on
    my tightening chest.
  96. we don’t deserve dogs
    Happy wagging tails
    attached to slobber machines
    of joy and friendship.
  97. clink the glasses
    Share words of welcome,
    of hopes and of good tidings
    and clink the glasses.
  98. the cap and gown crowd
    They shed their new robes
    to spread their wings. Ready to
    soar without guidance.
  99. the stranger wearing the gold medal
    She won the race in
    sandals, driven by beer, smart
    running and pure will.
  100. four photos
    First, intrigued. Second,
    smitten. Third, curiouser.
    Fourth, head over heels.
  101. driverless bumper cars
    They smack into each
    other with maximum force
    while kids play on phones.

• • •

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1 Yip for “Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 42”

  1. Wade on Birmingham » #sundayread for May 28, 2017
    Sunday, May 28, 2017, 12:05 am

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