Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 46


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  1. children’s crusade 2018
    With signs and guts, they
    marched, let down by grownups but
    ready for action.
  2. how to sell more guns
    Guns in schools. Guns in
    churches. Guns in hospitals.
    Gun in underwear.
  3. dad’s seat
    Though a place was set,
    the chair at the head of the
    table was empty.
  4. the frozen coffeehouse
    Keep the thermostat
    at 58 degrees to
    sell more hot java.
  5. the surveillance state
    Wiretaps in our
    pockets, on our desks, in our
    cars and soon, our brains.
  6. a conspiracy of dunces
    Promises to the
    poor, favors to the rich, but
    beholden to none.
  7. out like a ham
    The silly toddler
    couldn’t resist a giggle
    before his bedtime.
  8. disappearing act
    After a 3-day
    entombment, he went upstairs
    to save mankind.
  9. science under husband
    A bloated mass of
    gases and occasional
    grunts for sustenance.
  10. everyone is average
    About yay tall and
    so-so looks with a boring
  11. run the numbers
    Add the figures through
    last quarter and divide by
    made-up integers.
  12. steps to ignominy
    Electric slide on
    down to boogie wonderland
    for popping, locking.
  13. reflective secrets
    Their hushed whisperings
    revealed as much as if they
    shouted to the world.
  14. no man is an island
    Friendships come, but most
    often go, withering from
    both time and distance.
  15. permanent binge
    TVs playing all
    prestige shows throughout the day
    and night till we croak.
  16. user era
    The phones are getting
    smarter while the phonies are
    getting dumberer.
  17. free-range adults
    Men and women roam
    without the tether of small
    screens and loud alerts.
  18. dinner in 60
    Some days, the biggest
    challenge is hitting Start
    on the damn microwave.
  19. the component of tomorrow
    Protein comes from shakes,
    snack bars, powders, supplements
    and sometimes meat, fish.
  20. fortunate cookies
    The luckiest folks
    never notice when their luck
    runs completely out.
  21. re-re-re-routing
    The errant package
    visited several states
    before being trashed.
  22. forever young
    We reward elders
    with neglect, abuse, contempt,
    and substandard care.
  23. trucker’s mirage
    The exit ramp floats
    by, as waves of headlights burn
    in all directions.
  24. eyes on the prized
    Today, celebrate
    the best writers. Tomorrow,
    back to the keyboard.
  25. bred and circumcisions
    No time for a full
    cut, so how about just a
    little off the top?
  26. callbacks next week
    The audition went
    well enough to warrant a
    second try to shine.
  27. electric you and i
    No resistance as
    the current flows through us, a
    tingling sensation.
  28. binge mentality
    Please shovel content
    to me before I figure
    out this show is crap.
  29. under the operatic force
    A highly trained group
    of divas and tenors armed
    with high notes and low.
  30. a motion picture is worth a thousand words
    Why watch the movie
    when the Wikipedia
    recap is better?
  31. of the moment
    The past is a safe
    space, except when filled with dark
    trauma and regret.
  32. fixer upper downer
    Under the carpet
    is worn wood, and below that,
    a layer of bugs.
  33. honeymoon distractions
    Thank you notes to be
    written, gifts to be exchanged
    and a cake to freeze.
  34. bashing dragons
    The wee knight took up
    arms against fire-breathing
    foes in the forest.
  35. grok talk
    The best words come from
    languages of the fertile
  36. toothpicks and shot cups
    Free samples are my
    jam. Load me up with bite-size
    morsels without end.
  37. every waiting room ever
    A musty stack of
    magazines no one reads yet
    thoroughly perused.
  38. kneeling friend
    Arise, Sir Keeps Her
    Under the Umbrella and
    Kills All the Roaches.
  39. holy wit
    If only the staid
    preachers were as funny as
    the church signs outside.
  40. a spoiler-free experience
    Don’t read reviews that
    reveal Rosebud is a sled
    or Gwyneth’s boxed head.
  41. to-don’t list, heavily revised
    Something something swear
    off booze. Forget birthdays. Drive
    really carefully.
  42. on the sliver screen
    Take an Imax hit.
    reduce it to 2-D, slap
    it on a smartphone.
  43. the lost girl
    Tears in her eyes, she
    stumbled round the playground to
    find her missing mom.
  44. the prat signal
    And we shall know the
    pious through their bright ribbons
    and virtuous tweets.
  45. gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow
    The two most common
    management styles are passive
    and, well, aggressive.
  46. dry heat is a myth
    A furnace blast of
    hell’s halitosis roasts skin
    and ignites children.
  47. circumstances of our own making
    Trapped at a dinner
    party. Painful swollen gums.
    Stuck with bald tires.
  48. the year they stopped making magazines
    About seven years
    before I arrived at this
    quiet waiting room.
  49. chore dice
    Water shelves. Vacuum
    bed. Wash living room. Polish
    garbage. Roll again.
  50. the four-minute radiator tutorial
    The mechanic checks
    YouTube again to make sure
    he’s doing it right.
  51. one-sided correspondence
    Stationery, stamps
    and pens, but no time to string
    together the words.
  52. mining the past, screwing the future
    Reboots require
    a syrupy nostalgia
    overwhelming all else.
  53. the fraught lot
    Musical chairs, but
    with many cars and also
    limited parking.
  54. pre-bread
    Knead the dough, but not
    so much that it turns into
    a glutenous mass.
  55. the weakened weekend
    A light agenda
    crippled by sickness, fatigue
    and bouts of nausea.
  56. shortcuts to madness
    Do we need to life-
    hack our way to paradise
    or can we relax?
  57. the reviewer’s curse
    Sifting through the good,
    bad and mediocre can
    diminish delight.
  58. chamber of horrors
    Trapped inside the car
    with an angry wasp speeding
    through a red stop light.
  59. all-you-can-infect buffet
    No sneeze guard can shield
    you from grubby hands and a
    smorgasbord of germs.
  60. loyalty has its limits
    Standing up for the
    haters. Calling out buddies.
    It’s not a good look.
  61. little women 2018
    They form a fashion
    clique on Instagram and sell
    makeup sponsorships.
  62. the rhyme directive
    Let some choice words flow
    with ability to grow
    like a goddamn pro.
  63. unrighteous fury
    Why feed anger when
    it won’t last, it won’t help and
    it won’t solve a thing?
  64. the evolution of leisure time
    Hiking, swimming, films,
    shooting hoops, camping out. And
    now, screens, screens, screens, screens.
  65. some gave all
    How to pay tribute
    to the fallen: Put an end
    to war forever.
  66. glowing screens and strewn toys
    From the shadows, we
    peek into the windows of
    staid suburbia.
  67. fix hearing
    The truth comes out in
    muted unpleasantries and
    tiny blunted jabs.
  68. the rubber straggler
    Three tires in a
    perfect rolling harmony.
    One singing flatter.
  69. the fix-it guy
    Coming by to see
    an underwater mortgage
    and a gassy dog.
  70. cruising in oblivious
    Remaining untouched
    by those with concerns, problems
    or minutiae.
  71. gray-colored glasses
    Fixated on the
    minute-to-minute struggle
    to keep on breathing.
  72. voluntary book burning
    Those who don’t read for
    pleasure have brain cells stuck in
    neutral. Poor dumb things.
  73. queen lear
    She offers her three
    sons a beachfront timeshare and
    goes mad as moms do.
  74. fairy tales for the unimaginative
    A servant cleans the
    house with stupendous effort.
    A dog talks in barks.
  75. formula for a best-seller
    String words together
    in powerful sentences.
    Repeat till novel.
  76. rip tony
    Chef turned author and
    ambassador, seeking great
    eats and real people.
  77. the office potluck
    Chips, tortilla chips,
    dip, potato salad and
    12 kinds of desserts.
  78. dud weight
    The lump in the next
    cubicle spends time on the
    clock wasting good air.
  79. the soft touch
    Browbeating the point
    pushes away. Asking and
    demonstrating works.
  80. kids’ weekday summer morning matinee
    A tornado of
    popcorn and giggles destroys
    the run-down lobby.
  81. aiming for a june weeding
    The ceremony
    takes place outdoors in a tall
    thicket of back yard.
  82. make culture great again
    Take your poisonous
    nostalgia, weave it into
    new clumps of old thoughts.
  83. rituals
    Put on some coffee.
    Flip idly through a smartphone.
    Awaken within.
  84. the excuse machine
    Nobody is more
    efficient at deflection
    than the manager.
  85. ones and zeros and wonders
    Can they automate
    the brain, its myriad ways
    of complex thinking?
  86. good enough for the japanese
    America puts her
    children in timeout, known as
    concentration camps.
  87. almost liquid
    “Boba tea is gross,”
    he said, adding peanuts to
    his bottle of Coke.
  88. stepping forward
    Precision rhythm,
    sick moves, a squad of highly
    talented young men.
  89. just another day in america
    Children locked up as
    political prisoners
    in chain link cages.
  90. that which binds us
    We are more than our
    ideologies, more than
    our limited views.
  91. summer sprinkle
    A few drops from an
    indifferent sky upon
    a brownish landscape.
  92. the ice cream van
    It offers only
    two flavors, and both of them
    are vanilla-based.
  93. a pit and a mountain
    Despair seems like both
    a pit and a mountain. Let’s
    climb out and over.
  94. make america civil again
    The brutes declare that
    we must endure oppression
    much more politely.
  95. holier than thou
    A country founded
    on religious freedom shuts
    its doors to Muslims.
  96. the package plant
    Human drones flitter
    from shelf to shelf to send so
    much junk to shoppers.
  97. the tyranny of the new
    New is better, new
    is thrilling, new is vibrant.
    Old is discarded.
  98. digital dig
    of the future will study
    our pics, open tabs.
  99. the reality of omnipresent recording devices
    Everything we say,
    everything we do captured
    for vile eavesdroppers.
  100. the tapping foot giveaway
    A still demeanor
    with a restless energy
    in a bouncing knee.
  101. literary expiration date
    His fans fervently
    hoped he’d complete the novels
    before he perished.

• • •

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1 Yip for “Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 46”

  1. Wade on Birmingham » #sundayread for July 8, 2018
    Sunday, July 8, 2018, 12:06 am

    […] Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 46 […]

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