Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 47


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  1. the south shall fall again
    Why start a second
    civil war when we never
    finished the first one?
  2. sun strokes
    It is too hot to
    work, to hike, to drive, to sleep,
    to dine, to endure.
  3. less fun phone games
    How long will 7
    percent battery last? How
    bad is the screen cracked?
  4. gusts of nothing
    They may huff and puff
    and blow your house down, but they
    still can’t get to you.
  5. they plot, fear not
    Homophones and a
    gang of unslanted rhymes hatched
    their grand rhyming scheme.
  6. nature’s disown
    The drowning frog does
    not ask why, but curses the
    scorpion to death.
  7. bands and brands
    Jefferson Airplane,
    Jefferson Starship, Starship,
    and next version, Tar.
  8. peanut gallery 2.0
    Wander into the
    comments online and find the
    worst, best among us.
  9. blessed are the pedestrians
    The savior is on
    his way, requests you park in
    designated lots.
  10. another word for
    When the poem runs
    just one syllable too long:
    Thank you, thesaurus.
  11. the problem auteur
    Singular vision
    coupled with outdated views
    on equality.
  12. hyporationality
    Logic and reason
    aren’t the right weapons in a
    modern tête-à-tête.
  13. festival foe
    Lightning struck without
    hitting anything, sending
    fans to seek shelter.
  14. my drone army
    My drone army brings
    pizza, spies on neighbors, fights
    sparrows, drops flyers.
  15. the empty conveyances
    Buses run a few
    routes, an hour behind and
    sometimes broken down.
  16. the current
    Sedated patient
    receives small jolt to shock her
    out of depression.
  17. paparazzi safari
    Always shoot giraffes
    in portrait mode because it
    makes them look slimmer.
  18. bless your countings
    Humility can
    be one of the greatest traits
    hidden inside us.
  19. blinded by the humidity
    Escaping the ice
    cold interior to a
    foggy glasses world.
  20. partial to cloudy
    I’ve fallen in love
    with the sky and her wondrous
    ever-changing moods.
  21. how much flair for a mcbot
    The kiosk never
    said hi or made eye contact,
    just took meal orders.
  22. gustatory grid
    He took his dining
    seriously, charting strengths,
    specialties and price.
  23. the acquisition
    A have not having
    is a blessing in the form
    of pure gratitude.
  24. too many apples, too many days
    Take vitamins A
    through Z with a dose of in-
    essential oil.
  25. murphy’s tribe
    The baseball legend
    reveled in his family,
    always at home plate.
  26. as seen onscreen
    revel in small details that
    happen to be true.
  27. off to never never land
    Nightmare fuel is made
    of spiders, shadows and loud
    noises from nowhere.
  28. renal field trip
    She gave away a
    spare kidney to save a sick
    stranger from demise.
  29. and ice cream and curtains
    Sometimes, summer is
    about hiding inside with
    AC and cold drank.
  30. infinitesimal progress
    The very first step
    is always the hardest and
    often not taken.
  31. shortcomings of a scribe
    The writer looks on
    with disdain, not at others’
    success, but his flops.
  32. chokesperson
    Meeting the press turned
    into a PR nightmare
    with no way to flee.
  33. the untidy wind
    A gentle breeze came
    by to shuffle my papers
    without permission.
  34. bury me with the following books …
    It’s less of a neat
    reading list at this point and
    more like a burden.
  35. pep alley
    We should line the streets
    and mercilessly taunt kids
    going back to school.
  36. a shovelful of sugar
    A stubborn psyche
    can be conquered with sweets as
    outright bribery.
  37. meanwhile out west
    A fire the size
    of a city razes the
    green world it touches.
  38. barley containable
    The only thing we
    have to fear is gluten and
    gluten foods … itself.
  39. fifty years in a blink
    The real surprise for
    the birthday boy was that he
    lived to that milestone.
  40. the magic porch
    Pens, notebooks and wine
    fuel all-night songwriting on
    real love and heartbreak.
  41. and salad for dessert
    Some potatoes, some
    meat, a few glasses of wine.
    bites of cheese and bread.
  42. the plastic sea
    We weave a giant
    tapestry of discarded
    bottles and torn bits.
  43. sad songs in major keys
    Spitting out words to
    an upbeat melody with
    a pasted-on smile.
  44. spite club
    When two assholes fight,
    do we want one to win or
    both to brawl to death?
  45. mother aretha
    The Queen of Soul calls
    us home with her transcendent
    voice and bold spirit.
  46. popsicle race
    To drink the frozen
    fruity slab before the sun
    demolishes it.
  47. the first first day of school
    Eyes bright with wonder,
    backpack along for the ride,
    the journey begins.
  48. the last first day of school
    Hesitation as
    she hits the hallways of her
    youth for one last time.
  49. before another trip around the sun
    Her special day runs
    from breakfast in bed to a
    night out on the town.
  50. the broke barometer
    The romance of deep
    poverty sours before
    the gallon of milk.
  51. salty and delicious
    ? When the tears from their
    eyes causes lots of sighs, that’s
    white fragility … ?
  52. unscheduled bacteria
    But really, when is
    a good time to get sick? Take
    two breaths and rest up.
  53. the interviewer’s credo
    Carefully watch and
    listen. Pause to draw them out.
    Ask strong follow-ups.
  54. an uncivil age
    What is etiquette
    when we take private moments
    and share them online?
  55. what passes for a society page these days
    The only point of
    a new restaurant is to
    be seen at its launch.
  56. several americas
    Many sides to an
    issue, mostly wrong, but voiced
    with indignation.
  57. dumb dump
    A contagion of
    stupid infects through toes and
    slides up to the brain.
  58. this just isn’t in
    The headlines blare all
    day long in a nonstop flood
    of true awfulness.
  59. dance the day away
    Huckster hops around
    with spinning sign and shouts of
    chipper enticement.
  60. to new moms
    Before you know it,
    he’ll zip into all kinds of
    unsanctioned mischief.
  61. demolish the character building
    If I could do it
    all over again, I’d
    skip the lousy parts.
  62. trickle-up economics
    We toil fiercely
    to line their coffers while we
    can’t afford coffins.
  63. joystick jockeys
    The players wielded
    their controllers like daggers
    ready to slay forth.
  64. newfound restraint
    Nothing more satis-
    fying than checking things off
    of your to-don’t list.
  65. they serve at the displeasure of the president
    The loyalists staged
    a coup of sorts, less bloody
    and more financial.
  66. provocation
    The artist creates.
    The public boos. The artist
    works. The public boos.
  67. the new customer service
    Please hold, our bot will
    be with you in just a few
    moments to fail you.
  68. the negligent wordsmith
    Can poetry be
    a collection of random
    words together? Tin.
  69. the front-of-house clique
    They might get you a
    menu, or they might just stay
    in their knot of cool.
  70. we once were allies
    They stood by us on
    our darkest day. We dropped them
    to embrace evil.
  71. an outbreak of hurricanes
    Two to the east, one
    to the south, another to
    the west. Batten down.
  72. a hurricane rhyme scheme
    All forces at once.
    A beautiful eerie calm.
    All forces again.
  73. the wordsmith
    Putting care into
    each line, each syllable till
    each verse flows with ease.
  74. the thousand-dollar soul stealer
    I need a smartphone
    with all the best features to
    take countless selfies.
  75. the disappearing drug store
    Part-corporate drug
    dealer, part-vending machine,
    our lost five and dime.
  76. the stoic’s guide to mourning
    My cat died and I
    ran over my right foot with
    my lawnmower. Ow.
  77. the art of comedy
    Make ’em laugh, make ’em
    think. Or make ’em squirm. Or just
    make ’em pay up front.
  78. ‘failed to comply’
    The cop came to the
    wrong apartment, gunned down the
    tenant, life goes on.
  79. reading, writing, revenge
    She lined up the sight,
    breathed in, squeezed the trigger. The
    student/shooter … dead.
  80. relatively amusing
    The summer has come
    and gone again like a fun,
    beloved uncle.
  81. information diet
    I gorge on gossip
    and tabloids with no room left
    for current events.
  82. the day the phone screen died
    How many years’ bad
    luck for smashing a little
    black mirror to bits?
  83. all summer in a fall
    The autumn heat scorched
    schoolkids and pumpkin patches
    on a parched landscape.
  84. aural retentive
    The books talk to me
    in a soft whisper, putting
    musings into words.
  85. undiagnosed hyperopia
    Compassion is just
    looking out beyond one’s nose
    tip to some others.
  86. early morning dim
    The hum of the lone
    Keurig promises a hot
    cuppa for one soul.
  87. green public enemy no. 1
    Not big corporate
    polluters. Not fossil fuel
    cars. A drinking straw.
  88. such spirit through the year
    Revelers care now:
    How many days till Christmas?
    Screw bats and Pilgrims.
  89. the resting roman
    Fading white sheet with
    delicate string and even
    dowels all bunched up.
  90. darkened hallways of commerce
    The last of the mall
    walkers rounded the corner
    where stores once sold junk.
  91. worth its weight in data
    Snooping sites collect
    our lives bit by bit, all for
    the sake of commerce.
  92. a bot ‘wrote’ this poem
    quickly, ferryboat
    recedes, coldhearted fleshy
    scrawny knives snoring
  93. how to watch many shows during peak tv
    Picture in picture
    in picture in picture in
    picture in picture.
  94. the game of monopoly
    Limiting choices
    and limiting freedom through
  95. how to spend football saturday
    The stores are empty.
    The streets are full of empty.
    The parks are empty.
  96. hypochondriac’s progress
    A tickle in the
    throat becomes a cough, an ache,
    a fever, a death.
  97. i wanna rock and roll all night and part of every day
    Even when we mis-
    hear lyrics, they still have a
    meaning so special.
  98. tmi syndrome
    An occasional
    coughing fit, bleeding from
    the eyes, mild hunger.
  99. ziff! bam! veto!
    “The West Wing” but in
    comic book form, soon to be
    a film and streamer.
  100. the daily reminder
    To exercise. To
    pray. To look around. To be
    nicer. To hang on.
  101. the end times
    We ran out of each
    and every flavor of ice
    cream except fat free.

• • •

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1 Yip for “Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 47”

  1. Wade on Birmingham » #sundayread for October 14, 2018
    Sunday, October 14, 2018, 12:06 am

    […] Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 47 […]

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