Katrina — the good: Federal aid to Alabama for Hurricane Katrina has totaled nearly half a billion dollars. More than three-fifths went for emergency response. To date, 113,000 state residents have registered with the Federal Emergency Management Agency for help.
• Katrina aid to Alabama totals $466 million [Associated Press]

Katrina — the bad: It’s been so dry in Alabama (“how dry is it?”) that 33 counties were placed on fire alert. Huntsville is 16 inches below normal in rainfall for the year. So for the first time in two months, actual rain. And tornadoes. And severe cold. And about 1,200 Katrina evacuees still living in trailers (and even tents!) at state park campgrounds. Worst. Punchline. Ever.
• Katrina evacuees in Alabama worried by prospect of severe weather [Associated Press]

Katrina — the ugly: “A Hurricane Katrina evacuee is under arrest, accused of the murder of a Birmingham man. Arner Dinwiddie, 62, is charged with capital murder in the death of 42-year-old Paul Maurice Anthony. This is the city’s 86th homicide of the year.” Curiously enough, the Demopolis Times adds this report: “Nov. 4: Arner Dinwiddie, 52, of Birmingham was released on $1,000 bond for driving under the influence.”

• Hurricane Evacuee Charged With Shooting Death of Birmingham Man [NBC 13]

Also:

• English Village candle store burns down over four days; smells like pumpkin, lemongrass
• Helena man picks nose, friends, declines to pick friend’s nose
• Homecoming events to include boozy cheers, awkward conversations, spirit

• • •

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A question of death: The Birmingham News treated readers last week to a six-day editorial series on the death penalty. Yawn.

That’s not to say it wasn’t thoroughly researched and included the obligatory pro-execution column. But after decades of supporting the ultimate punishment in a state where no one has ever been hung from a tree for being the wrong color, let’s just say they’re a little late to the party.

One recurring theme is the editorial board’s embrace of a “culture of life,” a politically charged phrase right up there with “family values” and “axis of evil.”

What we have done is look at capital punishment in the context of some of our strongly held views on other life-and-death issues. In the course of that inquiry, we found it increasingly hard to reconcile our traditional support for the death penalty with our reverence of life, as expressed in our consistent opposition to abortion on demand, embryonic stem-cell research and euthanasia.

Points for consistency, demerits for being unable to support differing, even contradictory, viewpoints on the complexities of modern society.

We applaud the News’ grand awakening — the justice system is broken, blacks and whites are treated differently, state-supported murder is still murder, socio-economic status matters — even if it falls short of its 1991 Pulitzer Prize-winning effort on the state’s tax system.

But we see little to inspire the same such awakening in the hard-headed hard-hearted citizens of Alabama, the vast majority of which will never open their eyes to the poor, the mistreated, the wrongly imprisoned. Never confuse them with the facts.

Richard Jaffe, a Birmingham criminal defense lawyer, spells it out succinctly:

“It’s better to be rich and guilty than innocent and poor.”

• Choosing Life in a Death Penalty State [Birmingham News]

Also:

• Category 4 Iron Bowl scheduled to hit Auburn on Saturday
• White-trash debutantes’ ball features Christmas lights, Skynyrd tribute
• Milo’s owner: Teens ‘up to no good’ in parking lot

• • •

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Get your Creek on: In honor of tonight’s Nickel Creek concert at the Alabama, a roundup of interviews. Trust us, this group is great on CD and powerful onstage. Don’t like bluegrass? Think again. Show starts at 8 p.m., with opening act Martin Sexton.
Interviews: Birmingham Weekly | Birmingham News
• Interview with Chris Thile (streaming audio) [WBHM]

It puts the Whopper in the basket: OK, we’re a little miffed that no one called us to let us know hoopsmaster-turned-theater mogul Earvin “Magic” Johnson was in town yesterday hustling orders at the BK. No kidding. “Johnson hopes his visit inspires other local young entrepreneurs.” Um, hate to break it to you, but all the hip entrepreneurs are chowing down at Sushi Hut …
• Burger King Patrons Get Magic Treatment [NBC 13]

And if you prefer your scandals in book form …: The first book about the HealthSouth scandal is hitting stores Dec. 1. "Going South: An Inside Look at Corruption and Greed, and the Power of the HealthSouth Message Board" takes us back to a simpler time, 1997, when all you needed was a modem and a dream. The perfect stocking stuffer for the mustachioed monetary miscreant on your list!
• Local doctor details fall of HealthSouth empire [(Ft. Wayne, Ind.) Journal Gazette]

Also:

• Bread/milk storm rumor causes snow shortages at area supermarkets
• Are you lickable? Take our super-hot sex quiz
• Gardendale residents suspect gambling, pancakes at corner church

• • •

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Power play: Alabama Power wants a 10.6 percent rate hike, the first such hike in nearly 25 years. But opponents want a 7 percent hike. What’s the old joke about the death row inmate choosing between AC or DC …?
• Opponents to Alabama Power rate increase urge alternatives [Associated Press]

Energy alternatives … ha!: The good news? You can still switch to natural gas. The bad news? Alabamians pay more than 40 percent above the regional average. Time to install that wind-powered breadmaker …
• Alabama customers pay much more for natural gas [Mobile Register]

If it meows or moos, shoot it: Hey, jerk: If you’ve got nothing better to do than wander around Shelby County using defenseless housepets/livestock as archery targets, maybe you should try something really rad, like self-mutilation, or lying down on 280. Bye jerk, die jerk. Hugs and kisses, Humanity.
• Another Animal Found Shot With An Arrow [NBC 13]

Poaching our freedom: Hey other jerk, Why do you hate our freedom? My motto: “Save an eagle; shoot a turkey.” Or was that, “ride a cowboy”?
• Three bald eagles shot over weekend in north Alabama [Associated Press]

Another Eagle in the crosshairs: Once upon a time, there was an NFL player from Alexander City named Terrell Owens, or T.O. He had a very big mouth, and that very big mouth got him into trouble. And onto “Sportscenter.” And into the nightclub business as part-owner of Lakeview’s Amani Raha. One day, he opened his mouth so wide, it swallowed up the last four games of his season with the Philadelphia Eagles. And he was never heard from again, until the Pro Bowl, training camps, preseason, “Outside the Lines” … The end.
• Eagles Trying to Stay Airborne [Washington Post]

Also:

• Governor asks to boycott travel to moon
• Sheriff vows to enforce little-known law on “prurient breastfeeding”
• Veterans welcomed with strip searches, criminal background checks

Send us your news tips.

Doctor, feel good: We love "House," even if the plots are repetitive. We even love our 'Bama cheerleader Sela Ward as she banters with our crotchety-but-brilliant physician. When she quips around the House, she quips around the House. Forgive us.
• Sela Ward Brings Heart to ‘House’ [Associated Press]

But what kind of tree would she be?: Barbara Walters has picked her 10 most fascinating people of the year … with two months to go. You’re definitely not on it, but Birmingham’s own Condi Rice is list-worthy, along with half of TomKat (we’ll let you guess which half). Will she make the Secretary of State cry? Or vice versa? Find out Nov. 29 on ABC.
• Cruise, Hatcher Make Walters’ ‘Fascinating’ List [Zap2It]

CeCe does Daisy: Birmingham friendster Courteney Cox goes limey on us with a new reality/comedy series. “Courteney Cox and David Arquette present ‘Daisy Does America,’ a fresh, new comedy series that unleashes funny woman Daisy Donovan on an unsuspecting America. Daisy just wants to fit in wherever she goes, but since she’s pretty much a disaster at everything she tries, the results are unpredictable and hilarious. Don’t miss the premiere of ‘Daisy Does America’ Tuesday, December 6 at 10/9c on TBS.” Look for the Condi/Daisy 2008 presidential ticket.
• ‘Daisy Does America’ [TBS]

Also:

• Developer plans SoSo (So Southside) housing/retail complex
• Divorce rate soars over latest football poll
• Only 50 shopping days till Chrismukkah

Crime declares victory in war on crime: Southside is under siege, and the cops are twiddling their thumbs. “Once you leave the main area, you’re more open to someone waiting for a person to commit a crime of opportunity on you on the way back to your car. My advice is carry just a little bit of money, and give it up if someone asks for it. It doesn’t take much. Five dollars is enough for a small crack rock or a cheap beer over at Raymond’s Market.” Whose suggestion is this? Sigh. A cop’s suggestion.
Story 2 | Story 3 | Story 4
• A Thin Blue Line [Black and White]

Making a killing: And the homicide rate in Birmingham has skyrocketed. Only 55 murders by this time in 2004, but 86 this year. And counting.
• Birmingham’s Homicide Total For ’05 Now At 86 [Associated Press]

Oops! Their bad: Not only did a West End couple in their 70s face a screwed-up police raid at their house — it was a raid by Hoover cops. What, are Birmingham cops so busy missing out on crime that they have to outsource?!
• Couple sue Hoover over police raid [Birmingham News]

Also:

• Katrina evacuees’ trailers removed by eminent domain for new strip mall
• Paintball players gunned down during deer hunt in park
• City Hall undergoes renovation to accommodate mentally challenged councilors

Save him a seat: Frank Matthews, a k a “God’s Gangster,” took Tuesday’s city council runoff defeat to incumbent Carol Reynolds with his usual graciousness. “The African-Americans and particularly those in District 2 who voted for Carol Reynolds — they can go straight to hell. This is not sour grapes; this is just truth.” Matthews, who is black, also told the Jews they could go to “Jewish hell,” Muslims to “Muslim hell” and Hispanics to “East L.A.”
• Bell takes council seat back [Birmingham News]

The sky is falling — on you: The latest Disney-sans-Pixar animated offering, “Chicken Little,” opens today at Patton Creek in Hoover in … 3-D. Now, if they could just add some dimension to “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” …
• ‘Chicken Little’ in digital 3-D in select locations Nov. 4 [press release]

Upon further review, the jury sentences the offense to a 15-yard penalty: “The state Supreme Court sided with the Alabama High School Athletic Association on Thursday and ended Litchfield High’s football season. The court, with an 8-0 vote and a one-page ruling, voided an Etowah County circuit judge’s ruling Wednesday over Litchfield’s appeal that it had not violated AHSAA rules.” Ah, lawyers, the cause of — and solution to — all of life’s problems.
• Supreme Court rules in favor of AHSAA, not Litchfield [Montgomery Advertiser]

Spaced invader: A dang foreigner attorney from Flori-la-dee-da is at the center of a Fayette County civil case, in which family members of two slain police officers and a dispatcher are suing the maker of “Grand Theft Auto.” Why? Because the convicted murderer played it. A lot. The lawyer in question, Jack Thompson, represents the plaintiffs and blames his participation on his obsessive playing of the board game “Clue.”
• Attorney is subject in ‘video game’ case [Tuscaloosa News]

Also:

• Local music scene feels underappreciated
• Weekend festival to feature ‘found art’ made from rejected art school projects
• Road work crew falls in giant interstate pothole

No nudes is bad nudes (or, Show us your conTrITion): The law has been on the books for years, but rarely enforced. Sigh. Why now?
• Alabama ABC to Begin Enforcing Topless Dancing Ban [AP]

The price of winning: “The Birmingham City Council made provisions [Tuesday] to celebrate newly elected city leaders on the same day that voters decided who those leaders would be. The council approved $12,000 for inaugural activities and named the Metropolitan Development Board as the fiscal agent for planning. “
• Birmingham City Council OKs inaugural funds for new leaders [Birmingham News]

The check is in the mail, but the mailbox is in the Gulf: “Total insured losses caused by Katrina in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama are about $34 billion, according to the Property Casualty Insurers Association of America, which has more than 1,000 members. The Louisiana Department of Insurance has received 1,367 consumer complaints since the storm concerning adjusters not showing up, an inability to reach insurers and insufficient settlements.”
• Hurricane Survivors Wait for Insurers [AP]

Can’t solve the problem by throwing Methodists at it: Baptists served 22,000 meals in two days to hurricane survivors in Florida.
• Alabama Baptists respond to Wilma’s devastation [Alabama Baptist]

Also:

• Alabama Legislature accidentally meets in private after door jams shut
• Local TV news crimestopper unit mugged in time for sweeps
• Hoover High football team signs deal with C-SPAN, Weather Channel