Wade on Birmingham

Weight and See: Those last 10 pounds

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‘The Biggest Loser: Couples’ live recap, episode 16 (season finale)

biggestloser.wadeonbirmingham.com
By Ginny and Wade

Roger Shultz of Enterprise takes his last last weigh-in. Can he make it to the final three of “The Biggest Loser”? And will he win the $250,000 grand prize?

The live recap of the live two-hour finale — plus details on where you can meet him in person this weekend — after the jump …

Bama Slammers Fanners.

6:58 p.m. CDT … Ginny: I’m already excited, but I’m bracing myself for Roger’s inevitable early exit at the hand of the Ali machine.

I almost hope Mark loses more weight than Roger, just to teach the women at lesson for insisting Roger is the bigger threat and promoting his ouster.

7:00 Ginny: Plus, ooh, did America lose 1 million pounds? I’m on tenterhooks.

Ali’s dress is so tight I can see what she ate for dinner, but the drama is nice.

7:02 Ginny: To dramatic music and lighting, we see Rog and Mark through a shadow screen, but they’re not brought out.

Instead, we see backstory montages. I think Roger’s gets more applause, but maybe I’m biased. Well, obviously I’m biased.

7:03 Ginny: Now backstories for the women, starting with Kelly.

“The season where they’ve walked on water?” When do we get “The Biggest Loser: Deities”?

7:06 Ginny: Jillian wants a female winner, and I want Jillian, so by the transitive property … what?

7:07 Ginny: And … they’ve already lied. We did not find out in the first 5 minutes whether it would be Mark or Roger.

Wade: Enter the gladiators!

He’s come a long way, baby.

7:08 Ginny: Holy crap Roger looks hot!

Nice work big guy!

7:09 Ginny: Hmm, Mark looks exactly the same. I may be eating my words.

7:10 Ginny: Don’t worry — I’ll throw them up afterwards.

Roger wins America’s vote to be in the final three.

Wade: It’s Roger!!!!!1

7:11 Ginny: Waaaaaaaaaa! I can’t believe it!

I am shocked shitless. Can I say shitless?

Obviously, it was me. My votes did this. Yay me!

7:13 Wade: Sadly, I recognize few of these actual contestants.

Ginny: Wade was like “who are these people? These people weren’t on the show!”

7:14 Ginny: Like he isn’t in love with Bette-Sue …

But who could forget Roger’s teammate, Trent?

7:17 Wade: And now a commercial for the Olympics. Or “American Gladiators.” That’s an Olympic sport, right?

7:18 Ginny: Well, at last someone did Jen’s hair …

7:19 Ginny: Jackie is smokin'; Dan is … not.

But now that we’re MySpace friends, I should go easier on him.

[FYI: Other MySpace links for Bob | Brittany | Jay | Bernie | our hostess Ali]

Hello, girls!

Wade: Hey, I know who I’m giving the $250,000 to … (gawks at Brittany)

Bernie-mania.

Ginny: Oh, my sweet Bernie.

7:21 Ginny: Ali busts Mark for crying all the time. Maybe later, she’ll give him a wedgie.

7:22 Ginny: Bernie says everyone has one. Obviously, he hasn’t seen Jen.

Wade: Ali the hostess looks like she’s put on a few pounds. Of hotness.

I guess my sole function will be to make lewd comments.

7:24 Ginny: Don’t forget to notice what Roger’s wearing.

7:25 Ginny: I want to count how many time Bette-Sue turns it around to make it all about her.

7:27 Wade: We are entranced by the second round of backstory vids. Welcome home, again, finalists!

7:28 Ginny: And what’s your normal sole function?

7:29 Ginny: Ooh, first football analogy.

7:32 Wade: So, predictions for win, place, show?

Ginny: Show: Kelly

Have to go with Roger for the win, of course, although it’ll be tight.

Love will keep them together.

7:34 Ginny: Well, Jillian looks adorable. Mr. Howell looks OK, too.

Wade: (As in Bob’s sweet ascot.)

7:35 Wade: And now, 80 minutes of weigh-ins …

7:35 Ginny: Jenni and Lynn are first to weigh in. I hate that guy. I’m gonna do the results in this format:

• Jenni: 267 to 213, 54 pounds lost, 20.22 percent

7:37 Ginny: Lynn and Jenni are also the father/daughter team and the green team.

• Lynn: 409 to 329, 80 pounds lost, 19.56 percent

7:40 Ginny: Next are Mallory and Curtis, the brown team and married couple.

• Mallory: 217 to 152, 65 pounds lost, 29.95 percent

Wade: My God, he’s playing for health insurance. A sad indictment of society, served up for my entertainment.

• Curtis: 381 to 231, 150 pounds lost, 39.37 percent

7:43 Ginny: I would go on reality TV for health insurance.

7:45 Ginny: Or to boff that creepy cyborg of Evil Dick and Dr. Will.

Wade: I’d do it for free. And by it, I mean the cyborg.

7:46 Ginny: Hey, it’s gay Neill and his beard!

Wade: Don’t call Amanda his “beard.”

Ginny: Neill’s new habit is Thursday nights at the gloryhole.

• Amanda: 204 to 140, 64 pounds lost, 31.37 percent

7:48 Ginny: This is so pointless: Mark obviously has it in the bag. He had >40 percent weight loss five weeks ago.

Wade: I’ll give them five bucks just to cut the weigh-in short.

• Neill: 317 to 229, 88 pounds lost, 27.76 percent

7:49 Ginny: Poor Wade, he missed Bette-Sue in her swimsuit.

Wade: Producers, get out of my head!

• Bette-Sue: 261 to 186, 75 pounds lost, 28.74 percent

7:51 Ginny: Jenn’s up next. This is going to be so sad.

Wade: Dig that feathered hair.

• Jenn: 254 to 190, 64 pounds lost, 25.20 percent

Ginny: Not as bad as I thought.

• Maggie: 239 to 169, 70 pounds lost, 29.29 percent

8:00 Wade: Halftime!

• Jackie: 246 to 157, 89 pounds lost, 36.18 percent

8:01 Ginny: As Bob said, it’s the season of 1 pound.

“Rock bottom to rock star,” bwaaaa. Funbags to douchebag, more like.

• Dan: 310 to 174, 136 pounds lost, 43.87 percent

8:03 Ginny: Yay, Trent — Roger’s better half.

• Trent: 436 to 301, 135 pounds lost, 30.96 percent

8:08 Ginny: I still can’t believe Roger’s a finalist; I think it’s was Ali’s underwhelming delivery that didn’t let it register. But we still love her, of course.

8:09 Ginny: Yay Bernie! Shake it!

• Bernie: 283 to 153, 130 pounds lost, 45.94 percent

8:11 Ginny: Brittany wanted to become steamy hot. What’s the verdict, Wade?

Wade: Hot, but not Bette-Sue hot.

• Brittany: 221 to 164, 57 pounds lost, 25.79 percent

8:12 Ginny: Time for mini-Mark.

• Jay: 293 to 190, 103 pounds lost, 35.15 percent

8:14 Ginny: My fingers are crossed for Bernie.

But not my legs! Ha ha!

• Mark: 285 to 156, 129 pounds lost, 45.26 percent

8:17 Ginny: Bernie wins! Bernie wins $100K!

8:19 Ginny: OK, I’m totally pulling for Roger because I’m a sucker for the local guy, and plus, he’s funny, but I was still totally pulling for Jillian’s ragtag bunch to beat the rest of the blue boys.

8:20 Ginny: Again with the 1 pound.

8:21 Ginny: And that’s all for the eliminated players. So, of course, we’re getting more montage action.

8:22 Ginny: Ali’s having an on-camera fro-yo binge. Kelly got a herniated disk. Hmm, I wonder how she got that?

Surely not losing dozens of pounds overnight while exercising six hours a day …

8:23 Ginny: They’re showing Roger at a plateau. That’s a dead giveaway. I’m calling it right now. Roger’s won.

8:24 Ginny: Unless he didn’t. I’ve gotten every single other thing wrong. I clearly cannot be trusted.

I thought Jillian’s favorite word was “beatings.”

8:25 Ginny: Roger > Jared.

8:26 Ginny: Congrats to Subway on the great plug, Roger shilling their sandwiches then barfing in a trash can.

8:28 Ginny: America lost 1 million pounds, or so they said on their Internet profiles. America is also a 16-year-old cheerleader and wants to meet IRL.

Wade: Sorry I’ve been so quiet. But I’ve been watching “Idol.” Did you know they’re allowed to play instruments this season?!

8:33 Wade: Roger hugged me! Inappropriately, but still.

Ginny: I want a hug!

8:34 Ginny: My favorite thing about the finale is how they’re all so starved, dehydrated and light-headed, and then they have to speak on live TV.

This also holds true of the hostess.

Enter the other gladiators: Ali, left, and Kelly.

8:37 Ginny: Never mind. Ali (the finalist) is skeletal. She could easily take it.

She even lost her boobs.

I feel like sending her to my therapist who teaches you that you and Mother are not the same person.

8:40 Wade: Ginny is entertaining me during the commercial with a story about how funny people are.

8:43 Wade: Look, original team color shirts.

8:43 Ginny: Whenever they let someone choose like this, they always weigh last and then win.

Wade: Ali picked Roger, then Kelly, then Ali to weigh in.

• Roger: 363 to 199, 164 pounds lost, 45.18 percent

8:45 Ginny: Mark and Bernie both lost more (percentage-wise). Ha.

Or not ha. My feelings are complicated.

Wade: Paging Jillian’s mom …

8:49 Ginny: If Ali weighs 120 as was hinted to in some articles, she’ll have lost 48.71 percent and be the winner.

8:50 Ginny: God, I hope Kelly never has kids. Poor potential kids caring for their whiny mom and having to deal with her crazy ex-husband.

• Kelly: 271 to 162, 109 pounds lost, 40.22 percent

8:52 Ginny: Shut up and weigh!

Wade: That’s my favorite Dixie Chicks song.

8:55 Wade: We’re probably going into overtime, folks.

Meanwhile, live chat about the finale.

8:59 Wade: Drum roll, please.

• Ali: 234 to 122, 112 pounds lost, 47.86 percent

The moment of truth.

9:00 Ginny: Congrats, Ali, and, uh, best wishes, Roger, our second-place finisher.

Also, he was fourth overall in percentage weight loss.

9:02 Ginny: Seriously, though congratulations to local heroes Trent and Roger, who collectively went from 799 pounds to 500 for a loss of a staggering 299 pounds, or 37.42 percent together.

And Roger, we noticed that you lost nearly 30 pounds more than anyone on the show. Well done, and don’t forget about that free workout you promised me!

9:05 Wade: Thanks to everyone for reading along, for your questions, and big big thanks to Ginny for 30-plus hours of recapping, plus writing, re-watching, screencapping and interviewing.

A herculean effort that I and the fans appreciate.

Good night!

Previous: OK, OK, one last twist at the final weigh-in on campus.

Also:

Ginny, pop culture and fashion maven, dares you to read her blog, whiskey. tango. foxtrot., at blog.myspace.com/whiskeytangofoxtrotblog.

• • •

Shape up: more “Biggest Loser” at biggestloser.wadeonbirmingham.com.

4 Yips for “Weight and See: Those last 10 pounds”

  1. just a question
    Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 7:51 pm
    1

    How many total weeks were they at the ranch?

  2. Wade
    Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 8:03 pm
    2

    I believe it was close to six months, or about 24-26 weeks.

  3. Ginny
    Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 8:03 pm
    3

    October-March 4th-ish

  4. Wade on Birmingham » Blog Archive » Weight and See: Women on top
    Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 11:22 pm
    4

    […] Wade on Birmingham » Blog Archive » Weight and See: Those last 10 pounds Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 11:06 pm 4 […]

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