Heads and tales: Electric boogaloo
By Wade Kwon
Power play: Alabama Power wants a 10.6 percent rate hike, the first such hike in nearly 25 years. But opponents want a 7 percent hike. What’s the old joke about the death row inmate choosing between AC or DC …?
• Opponents to Alabama Power rate increase urge alternatives [Associated Press]
Energy alternatives … ha!: The good news? You can still switch to natural gas. The bad news? Alabamians pay more than 40 percent above the regional average. Time to install that wind-powered breadmaker …
• Alabama customers pay much more for natural gas [Mobile Register]
If it meows or moos, shoot it: Hey, jerk: If you’ve got nothing better to do than wander around Shelby County using defenseless housepets/livestock as archery targets, maybe you should try something really rad, like self-mutilation, or lying down on 280. Bye jerk, die jerk. Hugs and kisses, Humanity.
• Another Animal Found Shot With An Arrow [NBC 13]
Poaching our freedom: Hey other jerk, Why do you hate our freedom? My motto: “Save an eagle; shoot a turkey.” Or was that, “ride a cowboy”?
• Three bald eagles shot over weekend in north Alabama [Associated Press]
Another Eagle in the crosshairs: Once upon a time, there was an NFL player from Alexander City named Terrell Owens, or T.O. He had a very big mouth, and that very big mouth got him into trouble. And onto “Sportscenter.” And into the nightclub business as part-owner of Lakeview’s Amani Raha. One day, he opened his mouth so wide, it swallowed up the last four games of his season with the Philadelphia Eagles. And he was never heard from again, until the Pro Bowl, training camps, preseason, “Outside the Lines” … The end.
• Eagles Trying to Stay Airborne [Washington Post]
Also:
- Governor asks to boycott travel to moon
- Sheriff vows to enforce little-known law on “prurient breastfeeding”
- Veterans welcomed with strip searches, criminal background checks
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