Heads and tales: Diversified outlook

amexica Hispanics, go home: Talk about tough on crime … jaywalk in Hoover, and you’re on your way back to Mexico. Robert Cahill, a Jefferson County district judge, has sent undocumented Hispanic immigrants packing after being booked with no bond for misdemeanors, a power reserved for immigration judges. A class-action suit against Cahill, the city of Hoover and the police chief claims violations of immigrants’ constitutional rights. Whew! We were afraid the Department of Hoover Homeland Security was going go illegally detain Arabs … Plus, it’s not like Hoover is ignoring the potential windfall of Hispanic business.
• Banished [Birmingham News]

Hispanics, stay here: Maybe Hoover can deport Hispanics to farm country. More than 200 farmers told Sen. Jeff Sessions that without migrant workers, farms would be ruined. Dios mio, those farmers are selfish: You can’t let a bunch of Spanish-spewing jaywalkers have the run of the place.
• State’s farmers split with Sessions on immigration [Birmingham News]

Jihad against boredom: Kids have a new place to hang out, play Xbox, shoot pool and study holy scriptures. Is it the new Baptist Family Center? Nope. Try the Birmingham Islamic Center, which has dedicated part of a prayer hall to youth activities. And we’re not kidding: The center is located in … Hoover. Now we’re just confused …
• New Islamic center provides place for children to pray, play [Birmingham News]

All clear: Here’s our travel tip for the week: Aruba! Since Alabama students and families are steering clear of Caribbean resorts, it should be less crowded and less rowdy. Plus, we bet the prices are a steal at this point. And if you should ever turn up missing, don’t worry, we’ll talk about you night and day.
• Alabamians shun Caribbean resorts on spring break [Birmingham News]

Also: