Wade on Birmingham

Archive for May, 2006

In your head they’re still fighting

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

hide and creepRedneck zombies are coming to redecorate your living room.

In blood.

“Hide and Creep,” the 2004 horror comedy, will air at 6 p.m. Thursday on Sci Fi. The movie, filmed around Birmingham, premiered at Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival and now makes its television debut.

And I’m telling you this, not because I’m in it as an unpaid extra, and not because I’m paid to do PR for the flick, but because it’s the best redneck zombie horror comedy you’ll ever see.

But don’t take my somewhat biased word for it: Join us at Base Camp on Southside for a viewing party in which the undead shall rise and receive drink specials.

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if you would

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

If you would, let me
rest my weary head on your
lap while you mend me.

• • •

Read more haiku.

Just for Hicks: Four Kings

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006

taylor hicksThe “American Idol” final four took a roadtrip to Graceland to prepare to become Elvis impersonators for a night. Along the way, they met Priscilla Presley and record exec Tommy Mottola (but no fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, sad). Birmingham’s Taylor Hicks took on two classics … with mixed results.

Recap after the jump …

Updated with video, elimination.

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teleprogress

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006

TV takes over
Internet with programs that
no one watched last night.

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Read more haiku.

Heads and tales: Latin lowdown

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006

For all you amigos and gringos out there, lots of news on the Hispanic front …

time coverThe enema of my enema: Worried about undocumented immigrants taking over? You’re not alone. Friday’s rally at the state Capitol brought out 100 protestors, from reformers to xenophobes. Not to be outdone, the Ku Klux Klan came out 300 strong in Russellville Saturday to march for deportation of illegal aliens. After the march and rally, Klan members burned a 22-foot cross for giggles. A Klan imperial wizard from Indiana said the group received 20 applications. Guess they’re recruiting for a Hispanic church bombing next …
• Capital protest targets illegal immigration [Birmingham News]

Big hombre on campus: State colleges expect to see a rise in enrollment among first-generation immigrants, despite obstacles for these would-be scholars. Proof of citizenship, rising tuition and lack of information can make it challenging for Hispanic students to enroll. Plus, you know, that whole Alabama-49th-in-education stigma.
• Local colleges expecting to see more Hispanic students enroll [(Florence) TimesDaily]

Safe at work: Associated General Contractors is providing free safety training in Spanish for construction workers, at a cost of $10,000. The classes, held in Irondale, are aimed at curbing the tragic (and costly) 50 percent jump in deaths among Hispanic construction workers from 1997 to 2002. The program goal is 100 workers trained, but only six attended the first class on Monday. Part of the problem: immigration raids disguised as … safety training. Meanwhile, construction firms felt the pinch from the May 1 protest in which Hispanics skipped work, including a wasted work day on Bryant-Denny Stadium expansion. See, hit 'em where it hurts: football.
• Free safety courses offered in Spanish [Birmingham News]

Buenos noticias: Jairo Vargas started his Spanish-language newspaper, El Latino News, in 1997 with nothing more than 10 pages and a church copier. The weekly paper currently boasts 15,000 copies in Jefferson County. Vargas, a native of Colombia, voices a common complaint: “I like Birmingham because it is like my old city, Bogotá. But there is so much to do here and so many opportunities. What I don’t like is the traffic! Too, too much.” Great, now they’re taking our newspaper jobs, too.
• El Latino News [Birmingham Weekly]

Also:

  • We had Mexican last night, thankyouverymuch
  • Immigration reform leads to angry words between non-Indian residents
  • These jokes are funnier in Spanish, anyway

• • •

Send us your news tips.

genocide du jour

Monday, May 8th, 2006

Three years of “cleansing,”
Sudan too long a bloodbath.
Darfur needs our help.

• • •

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Heads and tales: Roll the dice

Monday, May 8th, 2006

biohazardHold your breath: Southern Research Institute is reopening a renovated lab in July at its Southside location to research anthrax. The upgraded facility is expected to attract new projects worth millions of dollars to better understand and counteract the bioweapon. This is the same company that shipped live anthrax spores from its Maryland lab to a children’s hospital research center in California in 2004. Even worse, no laws exist to regulate safety oversight. Not panicking, yet.
• SRI scientists to test anthrax [Birmingham News]

The upside of corporate crime: Because of the increasing number of high-profile corporate trials, law firms are devoting more attorneys to advising business leaders. The opportunity is there not only to defend them in court, but advise them before so that they could, you know, not break the law. Enforcement of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act is largely responsible for the latest wave of white-collar crimes brought to trial. Ah, lawyers … is there anything they can’t do?
• Demand swells for white-collar defense work [Birmingham Business Journal]

Regards and rebounds: Ben Wallace, Detroit Pistons center and White Hall native, became the NBA’s Defensive Player of the Year today. He’s the first to win that honor four times in five years; only Dikembe Mutombo has also won the title four times. And Wallace is the only pro in the Top 10 in rebounds, steals and blocks. Meanwhile, NBA legend and Alabama son Charles Barkley has also put up an impressive number: $10 million. That’s the amount he estimates he lost on gambling: “I do have a gambling problem. But I don’t consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble.” We’ll take that bet.
• Wallace Successfully Defends Defensive Crown [Associated Press]

Also:

  • State political candidates debate logic, reality
  • New video store actually stocks DVDs
  • Did we remember to shut off the irony?

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pity me, envy me

Sunday, May 7th, 2006

Not easy to be
this glamorous all the time.
Life as a diva.

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plate show

Saturday, May 6th, 2006

Slow eater defies
busboy with measured mouthfuls.
Fork ready to stab.

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maple leaf rag

Friday, May 5th, 2006

Isn’t it time to
bastardize a holiday
from Canada, eh?

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Read more haiku.

Heads and tales: Feeling spent

Friday, May 5th, 2006

Impasse in Silvertron investigation: The March 22 death of Silvertron owner Alan Potts remains a mystery — and will likely remain one. A coroner’s report confirms he died of a gunshot to the head but has no ruling on the shooter. Authorities said that ends the investigation, unless someone comes forward.
• Coroner’s Office Releases Statement About Silvertron Owner’s Death [NBC 13]

debtDebt’s all, folks: Jefferson County residents are getting deeper in debt. The average in 2004 was $56,986, a 47.4 percent jump since 1999. That’s from “Credit Scores, Reports, and Getting Ahead in America,” a new study from Washington-based think tank Brookings Institution. Higher debt means lower credit scores, with the South having the highest concentration low-scoring consumers. Doug Horst of the Consumer Credit Service in Birmingham said, “I hope this is a wake-up call that encourages people behind in their bills to seek help.” You know what will make us feel better? Shopping!
• Consumer debt rises in Jeffco [Birmingham News]

Cold hard casa: State home sales jumped 26.34 percent in March, way ahead of the national increase of a paltry 0.3 percent. Even better, home values in Jefferson County jumped 7 percent in the past year. The hottest neighborhood? North Lakeshore, with an average 44 percent increase. Excuse us while we call our real estate agent.
• Alabama home sales rise 26% in March; average selling price up [Birmingham Business Journal]

Charity begins elsewhere: The Crawfish Boil still describes itself as a “party with a purpose,” a reference to its charitable contributions in the past. Nowadays, it’s more about the purpose of the party: Make money. The bookkeeping has been shoddy, and title sponsor Jack Schaeffer says he hopes to donate $5,000 — to match 2005 — out of a starting budget of $500,000. Wow, kinda gets you right here (points to butt).
• Crawfish Boil’s a splashy festival first, fund-raiser second [Birmingham News]

Also:

  • Lakeview revelers celebrate Mexican holiday with American excess, Panamanian pharmaceuticals
  • Case of blahs spreads like apathetic wildfire
  • Nationally ranked schools still stuck in Alabama

• • •

Send us your news tips.

onedownsmanship

Thursday, May 4th, 2006

You think you’ve got probs?
My girl left me and my dog
has munched my remote.

• • •

Read more haiku.

trailer trailer trailer

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006

In a world where dreams
and nightmares co-exist, it’s
time for summer flicks.

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Read more haiku.

Heads and tales: Your hit parade

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006

mark knopfler and emmylou harrisHigher straits: We’re suckers for pretty lady who can sing. That’s why we’re excited whenever hometown gal Emmylou Harris releases a new CD. Her latest, "All the Roadrunning," is a collaboration with Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits. Emmylou says, “I’m lucky enough to have a core audience that will zig and zag with you so you don’t have to put out the same thing record after record. If there’s any pressure at all, it’s that your fans are expecting you to zig and zag. They want to see what you’re going to do next. They want you to follow your muse.” Yes we do, Emmy, yes we do.

• Maverick Alabama native Harris teams with rocker Knopfler [Associated Press]

Mail bonding: You’ve seen the movie, now read the letters. Author Truman Capote spent a portion of his childhood with family in Monroeville. A new permanent exhibit features letters from Capote to his favorite aunt in Alabama and rare family photos. In a 1959 letter, he writes, “Yes, it is true that Nelle Lee is publishing a book. I liked it very much. She has real talent.” He’s referring to the classic tale, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” by his childhood friend, Harper Lee. Since the 2005 release of biopic “Capote,” more visitors are heading to the town of 7,000. Also of note, another Capote pic, “Infamous” is due later this year with Sandra Bullock(!) as Lee.
• Unseen Capote: Letters to aunt, rare photos part of display [Associated Press]

Talladega days: Will Ferrell was on hand for Sunday’s rained-out portion of the Aaron’s 499 at Talladega to plug “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” and serve as grand marshal. Part of the filming took place at the Superspeedway last fall, and the movie is due out Aug. 4. As Ricky says, “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” Probably funnier in the movie.
• Will Ferrell stays busy at Aaron’s 499 [Associated Press]

Also:

  • State bird flu plan: Shoot, deep-fry, then eat
  • Arts groups stock up on liquor for cultural boozefests
  • Only two shopping days left till Cinco de Mayo

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Send us your news tips.

Just for Hicks: Cinco de Idol

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006

taylor hicksFive finalists fight it out with an “American Idol” Tuesday twofer, a song from birth year and from current charts. And Birmingham’s Taylor Hicks shows his playful side and his soulful side in songs older than most of the audience.

Recap after the jump …

Updated with audio, elimination.

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