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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 63

Thursday, March 16th, 2023

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  1. death of a friendship
    They couldn’t see each
    other as they are now, but
    as who they were then.
  2. stages of braces
    Anticipation,
    soreness, weird accent, soreness,
    swishing out food bits.
  3. it all comes down to a sliver of voters
    Everyone sticks to
    their parties, and a group of
    moderates then chooses.
  4. crucial conversations
    Moving from fight or
    flight to safety for all who
    fill up knowledge pool.
  5. final stages
    He’s going to talk
    with his dad about elder
    care choices to come.
  6. exploring the world of food
    They tried every new
    restaurant, reading menus,
    picking cool dishes.
  7. the return of beavis and butt-head
    Teenage duo wreak
    havoc while cracking jokes at
    music videos.
  8. the little burrito shop
    A family-run
    place where the burritos rule
    and the tacos strut.
  9. where’s the mistletoe?
    A sprig can lead to
    a first kiss can lead to one
    more kiss can lead to …
  10. funny ornaments
    Old school art projects,
    sports mascots, talking cartoons
    and assorted kitsch.
  11. it’s the bought that counts
    Gift cards are perfect
    for control freaks: Spend this much
    at only this place.
  12. tiktok: where issues go to die
    If it’s not happy
    happy, if it spotlights a
    cause, it’s banned all right.
  13. four bags of clothes
    One to donate, one
    to trash. One to sell, one to
    give to a dear friend.
  14. but who will stand for the white man?
    Embracing the right’s
    Christian nationalism
    makes for holy war.
  15. war crimes in ukraine
    Putin brandishes
    his military might by
    killing families.
  16. visions of winter
    Southerners dream of
    snow, but wake up to icy
    nightmares all around.
  17. thermodynamically deficient
    Shivering around
    the house, in the car, at the
    store. Always too cold.
  18. shopping maul
    Should we still look for
    the perfect gift, or will we
    make do with these socks?
  19. virtual lap, virtual ear
    Santa takes time to
    field last-minute Zoom calls from
    those good boys and girls.
  20. a christmas wish
    Could we lay down the
    guns for a day and start a
    little peace on earth?
  21. thirty marvel movies and counting
    Are we tired of
    movies based on comic books?
    Watch IP freely.
  22. what i did in 2022
    Met my girlfriend, got
    new job and computer, paid
    off all debt, walked miles.
  23. hankering for tales, tall and otherwise
    More people are swayed
    by compelling stories than
    dry facts on their own.
  24. over before it started
    Let’s resolve to make
    ourselves better in— Screw it
    and pass the cheesecake.
  25. closing the year in a tizzy
    Spending the last week
    hurriedly trying to do
    everything listed.
  26. the quiet countdown
    Nine, eight, seven, six,
    five, four, three, two, one. Happy
    New Year, we whisper.
  27. new year’s wish
    Hoping for growth, peace
    and all things wonderful in
    2023.
  28. pandemic year four
    The virus surges,
    and the death toll rises. Why
    aren’t we doing more?
  29. photos of who i am now
    The most glaring change
    is the biggest smile that you’ve
    ever partaken.
  30. old knees
    The legs work fine, save
    for creaky joints that sometimes
    need a little rest.
  31. gingerbread housing
    The roof leaks icing,
    the windows are all muddy,
    the walls are falling.
  32. pocket computers
    Use them to record
    moments, calculate bearings,
    learn about the world.
  33. suggested food trucks
    Pancakes, whiskey snow
    cones, pies, chitlins, kimchi and
    deep-fried everything.
  34. hop on a plane
    Take flight on an old
    747 to
    visit a new land.
  35. southwest gone south
    Their planes stood frozen
    on the tarmac. Their agents
    unable to move.
  36. streaming meltdown
    How do you win fans
    with mediocre programs
    and rising prices?
  37. reverse to-do list
    She added items
    already done to keep track
    of her performance.
  38. alas twitter
    Whoever thought that
    tweeting would prove to be more
    trouble than its worth?
  39. murder central
    Bodies drop every
    day in the city. Nothing
    slows down the killing.
  40. first time in south america
    Hopping continents
    to embrace new people and
    absorb more culture.
  41. hiding the special ice cream
    It resides in the
    secret freezer to keep those
    pesky roommates out.
  42. the nonviolence way
    Yell from the streets, march
    to and fro, let everyone
    know why we’re angry.
  43. the office cleanup
    Pack, trash, shred, file, place
    on shelves, stow in baskets, sweep,
    rearrange, compact.
  44. lower your standards
    Why have the best when
    you can have fourth best? Why try
    for unreachables?
  45. the lone birthday present
    It wasn’t much, but
    it was enough to stave off
    lonely bitterness.
  46. infinite diversity in infinite combinations
    The franchise, in its
    seventh decade, plows ahead
    with more fun and shock.
  47. internal calendar
    We feel a younger
    age than we are. Our spirit
    shines through our wan flesh.
  48. on the minibike
    The youngster puttered
    around the farm, causing the
    chickens to scatter.
  49. family gathering
    Young’uns running the
    halls, parents in the kitchen,
    Grandma in the den.
  50. the loudest children on earth
    They open their mouths
    like normal kids but emit
    high-decibel booms.
  51. yipping and yapping
    Doggy duo ruled
    room with microaggressive
    barks and energy.
  52. closed for private party
    You can’t come in: We’re
    busy celebrating your
    being kept outside.
  53. epic house party
    Lots of food and drink,
    a great endless playlist and
    friends and family.
  54. the tech revolution
    Easier to text
    the children than shout over
    and over for them.
  55. putting the “ai” in haiku
    This is a haiku
    about the nature. Pine cones
    come from cones of pine.
  56. the blizzard
    Trapped indoors with no
    means of escape. Surviving
    until help arrives.
  57. nepo babies
    Well, these Hollywood
    roles won’t cast themselves, will they?
    They’ll be stars, big stars!
  58. add 45 days
    It takes 21
    days for a new habit to
    take. But that’s a myth.
  59. the kayak incident
    My partner went for
    a swim. When he tried to climb
    back in … in I went!
  60. the long withdrawal
    The blinding headache
    of weaning yourself off of
    caffeine pierces all.
  61. what’s the steering wheel doing way over there?
    Everyone here drives
    on the left. There’s no way I
    can get used to it.
  62. beach bummed
    Got my sunscreen on.
    Got my cold drink and good book …
    uh oh, here comes rain.
  63. party barge
    Beer and booze for all
    as we swim and cavort and
    snorkel in the bay.
  64. nightly facetimes
    I needed to see
    that face, that smile, on my screen
    while away from home.
  65. the podcaster’s dilemma
    To let the guest shine
    or to hog the spotlight while
    showing off their smarts.
  66. improv rules
    Learning how to build
    each other’s ideas while
    not going for laughs.
  67. bite by bite
    They finished off the
    remaining ice cream and licked
    the bowl super clean.
  68. forming new habits
    Every action you
    take is a vote for the type
    you wish to become.
  69. strip mining memories
    Creative process
    includes plumbing deep depths of
    psyche for details.
  70. the chatgpt dad joke
    I asked the chatbot
    for a doctor’s note, but it
    gave me excuses.
  71. and chicken thighs
    Food is love. Cooking
    special dishes for special
    someone takes real heart.
  72. ai takeover
    An approximate
    thinking engine is enough
    to fool most of us.
  73. the path of elder care
    A winding trip through
    insurance and nursing homes
    and health aides and death.
  74. party at amanda’s
    Head to basement for
    rocking out with local band,
    banana in hand.
  75. i love you
    I said it, and I
    meant it. Don’t know why it took
    so long to utter.
  76. furry rave
    Dress for bed and for
    a party with some panda
    PJs and glow stick.
  77. tying the room together
    Throw out the shabby
    old rug, and throw down a new
    beauty to walk on.
  78. the pegasus effect
    Governments use these
    military-grade tools to
    spy on civilians.
  79. black life revealed
    Zora studied new
    cultures by taking part in
    songs and rituals.
  80. the dinner that almost wasn’t
    He forgot to make
    the reservations, and the
    joint was filling fast.
  81. moving offices
    They cleared out their small
    cubicles, hit the lights and
    left the rest behind.
  82. the lasting of ‘the last of us’
    Wandering through a
    hellscape of zombies and rogues.
    *shakes fist at fungus*
  83. the evolution of amazon
    Books to everything
    to knock-offs and “Lord of the
    Rings” and prescriptions.
  84. one step back
    Twists and turns on the
    road to sobriety can
    include relapses.
  85. why are we afraid of black history?
    Destroy all of our
    libraries and flog teachers
    who do not obey.
  86. a one thread count
    Sheets made of burlap
    that scratch the skin and crackle
    when placed on the bed.
  87. a dozen concerts on the calendar
    Wherever the bands
    play, whatever time they start,
    we’re gonna see them.
  88. pothole city
    Cars bounce and tires
    pop on the unkempt roads of
    our metropolis.
  89. the message of hip-hop
    A true 21st-
    century town crier who
    tells us where it’s at.
  90. race cars and thimbles
    Traipsing through a flat
    Atlantic City to buy
    property for cheap.
  91. the death of twitter
    All that was left was
    a self-styled pretender and
    adoring minions.
  92. quite the racquet
    Not enough spaces
    for tennis, pickleball. We’ll
    settle it in court.
  93. junk food jamboree
    Patties and buns in
    juicy combat to decide
    best burger in town.
  94. the magic window
    Glimpses of life on
    active rotation, highlights
    and precious moments.
  95. puzzlers
    Spending time sorting
    by edges and colors to
    build a large portrait.
  96. brighter days ahead
    The lie of the clock
    is that it’s earlier than
    it was yesterday.
  97. the modern awards show
    Flashy staging and
    slick graphics with the same old
    bigwigs and speeches.
  98. f is for fentanyl
    Kills without remorse
    this opioid scourge that hides
    in everyday drugs.
  99. pie oh my
    Cherry, chocolate,
    chess, apple, pumpkin, Key lime,
    blueberry, pecan.
  100. am i hungry?
    Learning to trust the
    body for signals to feed
    and to stop feeding.
  101. yelp wanted
    Scroll through the choices,
    pick a new restaurant for
    dinner on a dare.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 62

Monday, December 5th, 2022

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  1. the last corona virgin
    Get thee behind me,
    COVID. You shall not cross this
    masked face, these washed hands.
  2. we report, you comply
    When a news network
    lies to you all day, all night,
    it’s brainwash city.
  3. we’ve already moved on
    The mass shootings of
    today are forgotten long
    before the blood dries.
  4. a focus on the numbers
    She cared more about
    the target, even taking
    unhealthy chances.
  5. parton the interruption
    Philanthropist, song-
    writer, angel, a hell of
    a businesswoman.
  6. non-stop flow
    Time flies, or it creeps
    in this petty pace. But it
    always goes forward.
  7. saturday at the costco
    A warehouse filled with
    shoppers in a frenzy for
    discount bulk salmon.
  8. patriotic pickins
    What American
    boy hasn’t tried Rice Krispie
    treats? It’s in our blood.
  9. brigade of helpers
    They made the most of
    the day by installing the
    laminate wood floor.
  10. belabor day
    Quiet quitting. The
    Great Resignation. Looks like
    labor fighting back.
  11. probably not
    Does this poem make
    you angry or question all
    your base assumptions?
  12. the new skate park
    The boys made up new
    tricks as they glided and jumped
    and fell on each curve.
  13. waiting for da dough
    The bakery line
    stretched 20-people deep as
    aromas wafted.
  14. secret identity
    My mind wanders as
    we exchange pleasantries: Where
    do I know you from?
  15. bugging in
    Vaccinated and
    boosted (twice!) and I still caught
    coronavirus.
  16. tiresome
    They spent their weekend
    nights peeling out in circles
    while evading cops.
  17. some is forgiven
    The crushing weight of
    student loans becomes somewhat
    lighter in a snap.
  18. there’s always community college
    Education is
    too precious to let any
    yokel in the door.
  19. can’t spell ‘ain’t’ without ai
    Listen up, nerds: I
    don’t need no algorithm
    to decide my fate.
  20. penalty boxed
    It’s quite a racket
    that the government has when
    it comes to bounced checks.
  21. groundhog century
    Does history make
    progress ever, or are we
    stuck in a time loop?
  22. concert under the stars
    A warm summer’s eve
    as the bluegrass band takes the
    stage before a crowd.
  23. generation gaffe
    Should we really know
    TikTok and Dua Lipa
    and “Euphoria”?
  24. alternative school
    Either for the real
    geniuses or criminal-
    ly inclined or both?
  25. debt-free me
    I owe nothing to
    nobody, and that’s how it’s
    gonna stay for now.
  26. getting adult braces
    Just like teenage years,
    the metal braces steer these
    wayward ancient teeth.
  27. calendar vs. climate
    Will the blazing heat
    of endless summer ever
    make room for fall leaves?
  28. food is love
    Every morsel a
    hug, every calorie a
    blessing. Food is love.
  29. meme economy
    We’re cranking them out
    just as fast as possible.
    Demand is so high.
  30. cash free is the way to be
    This venue accepts
    only credit and debit
    cards. As God insists.
  31. power naps
    I lie down on a
    pad to recharge myself. So
    does my dead smartphone.
  32. palpable bitterness
    Life’s too short to let
    bygones be bygones. Embrace
    the darkness within.
  33. brownie à la mode
    Ever dream of a
    dessert only to have it
    come true? Life is sweet.
  34. the version in my head
    Is canon. Ships the
    best twosomes. Blows the effects
    budget. Has endings.
  35. zzz’s please
    Sleep, a miracle
    drug that heals fatigue and a
    large set of ailments.
  36. lizard in the house
    How did you get in
    here, little guy, and why are
    you up on the wall?
  37. droughts, fires, floods and debris
    The weather tells us
    in hurricanes and heat waves:
    Climate change is real.
  38. ragin’ contagion
    The pandemic is
    not over for millions of
    vulnerable folks.
  39. mortified on a daily basis
    Thinking of little
    else than stupid screwups from
    20 years ago.
  40. fall festival season
    Bring on the art and
    exotic foods and music
    and cooler weather.
  41. homecoming haze
    Let the alumni
    wander the halls and look back
    on their good ol’ days.
  42. the selfish friend
    Always ready with
    the wrong sentiment or the
    discouraging word.
  43. the bad boss
    He berates as he
    breathes, heaping scorn on the ones
    he hired for work.
  44. have you tried dried fruits?
    Like a kind of food
    parody where no one’s in
    on the spicy joke.
  45. daylight saving forever
    At some point, we’ll stop
    setting clocks back and live with
    brighter days ahead.
  46. the last half-season i forgot to watch
    I will probably
    never go back to see what
    happened to my buds.
  47. the pool is closed
    Hang up the swim trunks.
    Clear out the leaves and put on
    the safety cover.
  48. working the stadium concession stand
    Band kids and their folks
    shovel popcorn and serve hot
    dogs to raise money.
  49. fruity fondness
    Gimme those hand pies
    straight from fryer or oven.
    Let me burn my mouth.
  50. yelling, gesturing, repeating
    Talking in vain while
    listening to the band play
    deafeningly loud.
  51. shaky knees
    Standing upright one
    minute, feeling woozy the
    next minute. What gives?
  52. reno woes
    The contractor was
    supposed to start the project
    sometime last Thursday.
  53. home sweet home office
    A place to pay the
    bills, write novels and hide from
    the whole family.
  54. odd hours
    Have breakfast at noon,
    nap around dinnertime, go
    to sleep at sunrise.
  55. the hazing ritual
    Get beaten over
    and over because it’s how
    we always do things.
  56. the little farm stand
    Minnie and Jed run
    the place, showing off their fresh
    produce and hay bales.
  57. everyone has a price
    Can you be bought? Are
    your scruples for sale? Are you
    unimpeachable?
  58. fundamental telepathy
    Do we really want
    to know what people say when
    we are not around?
  59. waisted
    These pants used to fit
    me fine. Now they remind me
    not to have dessert.
  60. all dressed up
    A night on the town
    with my lady starts with fine
    fashion and footwear.
  61. candy shopping
    Cheapest? Full bars? The
    kind we like to nibble on?
    Pennies and raisins?
  62. waiting in the er
    Not enough staff but
    plenty of patients sweating
    it out for hours.
  63. in a dark alley
    All he remembered
    of the mugging was the gun
    pointed in his face.
  64. magic in the air
    The witches’ ball has
    ghoulish fun, cheap scares and a
    VIP section.
  65. potheads not prisoners
    When will this country’s
    criminalization of
    marijuana end?
  66. the spirit of all hallows’ eve
    We scare ourselves to
    feel alive, to face our fears,
    to know true horror.
  67. death takes a holiday
    Honoring those who’ve
    passed with fond remembrances,
    lovely ofrendas.
  68. candyland
    Off to the stores to
    rack up half-price chocolates
    and various sweets.
  69. the servers left behind
    A restaurant can
    only run short staffed for so
    long before it fails.
  70. what they did to get into college
    The little dumdums
    made up activities and
    had others take tests.
  71. what they did to get into college, part 2
    They relied on the
    worst stereotypes to dress
    up their normal lives.
  72. hour hands are tied
    An extra hour
    to set all the clocks inside
    and outside the house.
  73. the opening act
    A band, not quite as
    famous, but good enough for
    the show’s early birds.
  74. democracy at stake
    A referendum
    on the integrity of
    our own elections.
  75. the human purse
    Pockets for keys and
    gum, debit cards and lip balm
    and whatever else.
  76. southern snafus
    Birmingham traffic:
    280 sucks. Atlanta
    traffic: Hold my beer.
  77. veterans day … special?
    Can we offer more
    than discounts and fanfare to
    those who served our land?
  78. fall shower
    Brilliant leaves of gold
    and red and orange drifting down
    from audacious heights.
  79. at the marcus king show
    A fan collapses.
    Security guards surround.
    CPR started.
  80. shut out at the bakery. twice.
    Surprise! Doors are locked.
    Why hast thou forsaken me,
    Google? I believed.
  81. learning indian menus
    Try a new dish and
    record it in the log book.
    Slow but rewarding.
  82. first day on the job
    Report to HR
    to fill out paperwork and
    show my ID cards.
  83. a taste of sushi
    She timidly tried
    a bite, processing the smell,
    texture and flavor.
  84. the idlest boy in alabama
    Staring at the clock,
    waiting on an assignment,
    ready for nothing.
  85. beating hiv
    Not just unlocking
    the treatment, but also a
    preventative shot.
  86. the algorithm of crime
    New patterns based on
    old ones that oppress, detain
    and discriminate.
  87. a ball of stress
    Unable to sit
    still and relax, waiting for
    the worst to happen.
  88. bracing for family
    Here come the in-laws
    and relations to invade
    our houses. Deep breaths.
  89. thank you consequence
    It’s a healthy thing
    practicing gratitude … makes
    you less of a dick.
  90. foodie holiday
    Gimme that pumpkin
    pie, that gravy boat, some of
    that homemade dressing.
  91. the 15-hour pot roast
    Every check on the
    slow cooker lets out heat so
    it’s even slower.
  92. the late night visitor
    She snuck in through the
    dimly lit corridors to
    tuck in beside him.
  93. an ode to recruiters
    Ready to sign you
    up, ready to size you up,
    gone just as quickly.
  94. worth a thousand words
    A beaming smile bursts
    forth from the images of
    our nights on the town.
  95. debt free is the way to be
    No more house or car
    payments, credit card interest
    or old student loans.
  96. volunteering for the wrong reasons
    Doesn’t matter as
    long as you put more good and
    giving in the world.
  97. the truth is paywalled but the lies are free
    Paywalled sites bear the
    fruit of investigative
    journalism, so …
  98. beyond heartbreak
    Even after we
    oust them, abusive exes
    continue their harm.
  99. oh and dumbledore’s gay
    Representation
    after the fact shows a lack
    of author backbone.
  100. personal pillow valet
    She brought her own to
    sleep more soundly, tossing the
    old ones from the bed.
  101. beyond boundaries
    If we don’t set them,
    we handle relationships
    at our own peril.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 61

Friday, August 26th, 2022

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  1. my whole life is kayfabe
    Feuding with people
    who aren’t involved, aligning
    with heels and faces.
  2. last days of high school
    One final goodbye
    to teachers and classmates who
    shared this adulting.
  3. house shopping 2022
    Make crazy offers,
    waive the inspection, and still
    lose to investors.
  4. acidic aspirations
    Take psilocybin
    and conquer the fear of death
    while tripping big balls.
  5. the right number of exclamation points
    Hello! It’s good to
    meet you!! And a period
    to show I’m not nuts.
  6. election time in alabama
    The kooky battle
    to go further right than your
    distinguished rivals.
  7. three is a tragic number
    Ten years ago, the
    Birmingham News chose to give
    up and publish less.
  8. the coming of summer
    Clean out the pool, try
    on your swimsuit, and prepare
    for the hottest days.
  9. dear graduates 2022
    We broke the world so
    you’d have something to fix in
    your ample spare time.
  10. specs appeal
    New eyeglasses for
    a new look: suave, stunning and
    sophisticated.
  11. “you don’t look your age”
    The compliment from
    the pharmacist’s assistant
    made my day complete.
  12. a saturday offline
    Mother and daughters
    united over a day
    without noisy screens.
  13. in remembrance
    We spend a day to
    honor the fallen, the brave
    ones who gave their all.
  14. disease-free summer
    Let’s hope the boosters,
    masks and distancing pay off
    in the next season.
  15. nice is not the same as kind
    Worth pondering while
    sizing up people around
    us and their motives.
  16. mycelial networking
    Competing trees share
    sun and minerals through an
    underground network.
  17. circle the block
    Walking the same stretch
    every day and looking for
    what we missed before.
  18. gimme one of everything
    The candy store stocked
    a myriad of sweet treats
    and delicacies.
  19. cult of productivity
    Don’t let a minute
    slip away without wringing
    some work outta it.
  20. feeling useless
    Overprepared and
    underused, a wan combo
    holding workers back.
  21. affirm gesture
    He would tell himself
    in the mirror, “I am great,
    and I am special.”
  22. parallel parking: the musical
    ♫ Where oh where can I
    park? There’s a spot! Can I fit?
    Will I hit the cur-r-r-r-r-r-rb? ♫
  23. the ethical parker
    Take up only one
    space. Don’t back in. Wait till the
    gate is fully clear.
  24. ammosexuals
    Ammosexuals
    brandish lethal weapons as
    the bodies pile up.
  25. a dish of copypasta
    The digital screed
    made its way through the forums
    hungry for violence.
  26. four holes
    Her mouth left her in
    writhing agony, defanged
    of her wisdom teeth.
  27. the unkempt neighbor
    The place next door has
    an abundance of weeds and
    a rickety porch.
  28. lake life
    Sitting on the dock,
    legs dangling, watching the boats
    churn through the water.
  29. the littlest crazies
    The youngest face down
    anxiety, depression
    and bouts of self harm.
  30. cobblestone nightmare
    Jostling teeth loose while
    bumping along a million-
    year-old unpaved road.
  31. the burden of paying down the burden
    The mountain of debt
    shrinks payday to payday, with
    something left to spend.
  32. city on the grow
    She felt the stirring
    of civic pride and planned to
    move away quickly.
  33. bus stops of the future
    Sleek design meets queued
    riders ready to board their
    civic chariot.
  34. the gelato shop on the cobblestone street
    Kids pressed their noses
    to the window, trying to
    decide which flavor.
  35. summer to-dos
    Lounge around the pool,
    catch fireflies in a jar,
    nap in a hammock.
  36. the secret girlfriend
    He didn’t tell his
    friends that he was dating and
    found someone special.
  37. in case of situational anxiety
    Go rigid throughout
    the body, unable to
    take in what’s coming.
  38. ducking the shooter
    She dipped her hands in
    her friend’s blood to paint herself
    and lay very still.
  39. green card blues
    They married for love
    and citizenship, ready
    to pass any test.
  40. learning to eat again
    We deal with food, a
    necessity but sometimes
    a fierce enemy.
  41. trek to the cahaba lilies
    Wading the river
    to see glorious blooms while
    they’re still in season.
  42. sweaty chores
    The humidity
    pours out of us as we work
    outside this summer.
  43. petty patrol
    We keep score for so
    long we forget what it was
    that riled us before.
  44. regions field, sixth inning
    A hot dog and a
    taco raced around the field
    to the cheers of fans.
  45. the wooden chimes
    Swaying stems, the wind
    playing those bamboo trees in
    nature’s symphony.
  46. nineties and hundreds
    Air conditioners
    unable to match summer
    blasts of brutal heat.
  47. long walks to nowhere
    Six thousand steps or
    two-and-a-half miles on the
    treadmill, one hour.
  48. freedom for me but not for thee
    This land is your land,
    this land is not my land, this
    land was made for you.
  49. nine-month sentence
    Women, guilty or
    innocent, can face the same
    time for the same “crime.”
  50. worrying 9 to 5
    On-the-job stress that
    grows with each shift, a pressure
    that’s unrelenting.
  51. the world games in birmingham
    Masters of discount
    sports assemble for friendly
    competitiveness.
  52. the pause
    Before suffering,
    before mindless anarchy,
    we take a moment.
  53. deliberately forward
    Bravery is the
    act of putting one foot in
    front of the other.
  54. but never tennis
    The treads worn smooth by
    years of pacing and walking,
    shuffling and running.
  55. the chores that never seem to get done
    Better put them off
    till next week, or next month, or
    next season. They’ll keep.
  56. long message service
    Their texting thread wound
    through breakups and meet-cutes, past
    heartaches and wonders.
  57. the missing geese
    The feathered fiends were
    nowhere to be found in the
    sprawling city park.
  58. indifference vs. inert
    No forward motion
    and no incentive. Versus
    unable to move.
  59. no cover fridays
    I’d rather converse
    than listen to the band, trade
    words than hear the beats.
  60. stood up
    She had some place to
    be better than our late date,
    as if she’s all that.
  61. magnanimity 2022
    They planned to shelter
    homeless in plywood ovens
    in the scorching sun.
  62. ode to a fruit pie
    Apples and sugar
    melded in a thin pastry
    inside its wrapper.
  63. the runaway tooth
    One fang among the
    many set off on its own
    despite group pressure.
  64. tension up high
    I feel anxious more
    than ever and all throughout
    my poor old body.
  65. no candle blower outers
    Delight in the grand
    fortunes of others and have
    them delight in yours.
  66. ridiculously consistent
    The patterns emerge:
    Why be somewhat consistent
    when you can be all?
  67. coming into your own
    Learning to be your-
    self. Standing up for yourself.
    Being true to you.
  68. one bruised toenail
    The feet survived the
    new walking routine except
    for one bruised toenail.
  69. boy meets girl, something something something
    One good thing about
    seeing movies high is not
    caring how it ends.
  70. the click
    Suddenly it all
    makes sense. Everything just falls
    into place like so.
  71. mandatory fun is mandatory
    Despite carefree smiles,
    corporate dictates insist on
    fun no matter what.
  72. heat is the true killer
    Forget tornadoes
    and blizzards, heat is the true
    killer among men.
  73. the protests must go on
    The patriarchy
    belches. So foul the stench that
    we must cry out more.
  74. the parking did them in
    The concert was great,
    but the escape was blocked on
    all sides by traffic.
  75. the pool
    She rode atop the
    salty waves for a slice of
    her backyard heaven.
  76. a furious hush
    The madder he got,
    the quieter he became,
    seething in silence.
  77. one small selfie for man
    They posed in front of
    a rocket, and you could see
    the stars in their eyes.
  78. who’s in charge of what?
    He’s in charge of the
    grill and tires. She’s in charge
    of everything else.
  79. chill vibe
    Not too busy, not
    too loud, just an evening of
    soft music and words.
  80. boned appetit
    This state taxes food,
    not for the revenue but
    out of danged sheer spite.
  81. an inherited problem
    The bosses stuck him
    on an out-of-the-way team,
    hoping for … something.
  82. the drone
    On and on he went,
    pausing not for breath or for
    reply, endlessly …
  83. her eyes gave it away
    As she waited on
    tables, she hoped no one would
    see how high she was.
  84. studying psychedelics
    On the precipice
    of exploring creation
    and total being.
  85. death of summer
    No more late night game
    tournaments, no more hanging
    out around the pool.
  86. first day of class
    Pencils sharpened, shoes
    tied, lunches packed. Everyone
    have a good school year!
  87. 2-d hollywood
    The cardboard cutouts
    stood ready to glamorize
    modest mundane lives.
  88. headlines and tan lines
    The Facebook news tab
    is the standard mix of tech
    stocks and Page 3 Girls.
  89. duolingo, but make it geeky
    He tried his best to
    learn from the book, practicing
    his new coding skills.
  90. working stiffed
    Stop with the “look at
    me.” You don’t get a cookie
    for doing your job.
  91. what not to teach
    History. Facts. Sex
    ed. Critical Race Theory.
    Science. Deep thinking.
  92. modern horoscopes
    Turn off your ringer
    and crawl back in bed, Pisces.
    He ain’t texting you.
  93. weaponized vocabulary
    Her words cut deeply,
    making her loathsome point oh
    so sarcastically.
  94. the telescope a million miles away
    Peering into space,
    looking back billions of years
    to our origins.
  95. monkeypox see, monkeypox do
    We have already
    weathered one pandemic, what’s
    another disease?
  96. marvel, phase 8
    Ninety episodes,
    19 movies, three concerts
    and five new theme parks.
  97. no one stood up
    The city cut the
    library budget, leaving
    no choice but to close.
  98. the perfect patriarchy
    It is not enough
    to own women. We must smash
    their free will as well.
  99. matrix of deception
    From the shadows they
    pulled the strings. No one could find
    them, much less stop them.
  100. the bully
    At times, I have been
    the bully. And at times, the
    bullied. Choose wisely.
  101. the bearable heat
    The AC couldn’t
    decide between too cold and
    too hot. Lukewarm days.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 60

Tuesday, May 17th, 2022

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  1. smoke break, winter edition
    Bundle the fuck up
    for a 5-minute sojourn
    by the back entrance.
  2. use the good china today
    Candles, wines, cigars,
    gift cards, linens … break them all
    out and use them up.
  3. poetic instant analysis
    Scanning the lines for
    wordplay and symbolism,
    tripping on meter.
  4. hearing the words of the verse
    A melodic burst
    of syllables, a brief hush
    of understanding.
  5. feminist turned misogynist
    Once a hero, now
    a goat. Made us believe he
    was part of the cause.
  6. modern valentines 1
    Please accept these terms
    and conditions as shown to
    be my valentine.
  7. modern valentines 2
    Swipe right, hey gurl, a
    few suggestive emoji,
    pre-date, confirmed date.
  8. modern valentines 3
    A non-binary
    throuple with hints of poly
    and no jealousy.
  9. cupid 2022
    Arrows tipped with love
    potion and double dose of
    Moderna vaccine.
  10. ultimate poker face
    Remarkable self-
    poise, or the last one ever
    before dropping dead.
  11. the whitest supremacy
    The thought police do
    kindly request that books by
    black authors be banned.
  12. the great resignation
    What happens when a
    society finds out the
    true value of work?
  13. no time for breathing
    He practiced a form
    of keen mindfulness that ran
    on autopilot.
  14. dog in training
    Learning to beg and
    roll and sit and come and stay
    for praise and biscuits.
  15. with facebook, your junk is someone else’s treasure
    I gave away a
    20-year-old TV set
    in just 2 hours.
  16. technical(ly) gibberish
    (It’s not exactly
    gibberish since very smart
    people make it work.)
  17. make it awkward
    Share too much, dance in
    front of a crowd, and swipe right
    on people you know.
  18. dry month
    Lock up the liquor
    cabinet and throw away
    the six-packs of beers.
  19. impossible choices
    How do we weigh the
    science and economics
    when we failed them both?
  20. jetting off to paris
    Ah, to spend the week
    with haute cuisine and sublime
    music, living well.
  21. interactive artscapes
    When the artist and
    audience connect over
    social media.
  22. the swear jar
    Clean up language through
    fiscal remuneration
    by violation.
  23. the beauties of space
    An uncle and his
    nephew bond over the worlds
    they might see someday.
  24. a problem for future me
    Let’s go the cheap route
    and have the consequences
    play out however.
  25. do we do it for the gratitude?
    Is it so much to
    ask for a “thank you” or does
    that corrupt motives?
  26. world war 3
    A nuclear power
    invades a sovereign land.
    It’s almost midnight.
  27. mind games
    Conservatorships
    can safeguard the mentally
    ill or make things worse.
  28. guess the copay
    This doctor’s visit
    will cost me 40 bucks or
    200 dollars.
  29. the laziest of friends
    They might text, they might
    meet up, they might share some laughs.
    But probably not.
  30. the courage to sing
    Approach the front of
    the stage, take a deep breath and
    let out that first note.
  31. a gentle reminder
    Be brave enough to
    (if stuck in complacency)
    suck at something new.
  32. the revival of book burnings
    Destroy empathy
    by setting aflame those cursed
    books that inflame hearts.
  33. the mid-morning nap
    A brief siesta
    to prep the body for lunch
    and afternoon drudge.
  34. the medical bill nightmare
    To pay thousands for
    drugs again and again or
    face an early grave.
  35. the indoor garden
    The special lamps bring
    sunshine to the wisps of plants
    stretching in comfort.
  36. recreational high
    Out of commission
    for a few hours as the
    brain relaxes all.
  37. the forever loan
    The most expensive
    cap and gown ever ensures
    this cumbersome debt.
  38. so saucy
    Irreverent imps
    seize control of staid placid
    psyches to spread mirth.
  39. in reddit we trust
    Online gossips vote
    up (or down) sordid rumors
    for entertainment.
  40. pet conspiracy theories
    Believe what you will,
    but know that still crazier
    ideas take root.
  41. the nine days of spring break
    Celebrating a
    week of uninterrupted
    fun and/or mischief.
  42. the mating call of the fox
    The back yard echoes
    with passionate cries from some
    wild bushy-tailed freaks.
  43. the pleasures of an incubating season
    Days grow warmer and
    longer as winter goes in-
    to hibernation.
  44. paperworked
    This pile to be filed.
    This pile to be shredded. This
    pile to be eaten.
  45. hiber nation
    A modern stupor
    brought about by always-on
    screens in all venues.
  46. an appropriate dosage
    With Girl Scout cookies,
    one box equals one serving.
    Yes, one measly box.
  47. bulletproof
    Backpack shields and drills
    for days … nothing to disarm
    potential shooters.
  48. summer of soul
    When Harlem lit up
    with a galaxy of stars
    all on one big stage.
  49. the fix
    Just one more. That’ll
    make it all right. Can’t function
    till it’s in my hands.
  50. to the shredder
    Old phone records, scads
    of brochures and legal junk,
    reams of paper dross.
  51. presence and presents
    They’re instructed to
    come empty handed yet they
    bear gifts just the same.
  52. far or fiyah
    Success depends on
    whether “fire” has just one
    or two syllables.
  53. hiking with six eyes
    Their cameras came out
    for engrossing foliage
    and weirdly shaped rocks.
  54. staffing shortages and other delights
    Every time I ask
    for “no mayo,” the sandwich
    arrives with mayo.
  55. not in a joking mood
    Troubled times leads to
    an absence of whimsy while
    the whole world burns down.
  56. back to reading
    The absolute joy
    of holding a book and thumbing
    through its rough pages.
  57. a chapter a day
    Devouring this
    book in nightly sessions while
    boredom falls away.
  58. the re-creative process
    Reading old poems
    and thinking “How did that thing
    come out of my brain?”
  59. eye candy for the neighbors
    What good is having
    the house painted when you can’t
    see it from inside?
  60. scrape scrape scrape scrape
    Washing isn’t all.
    You have to scrape and scratch each
    square inch of old paint.
  61. no one notices
    Not the couple at
    the bar. Not the cyclist in
    the street. Just no one.
  62. the hypnotic scroll
    I can’t turn away
    from the endless options to
    watch, like and subscribe.
  63. return of the cold war
    Powers clash over
    dueling ideologies
    and outdated slights.
  64. threats of a madman
    A huge fortune to
    protect no matter the cost
    to the citizens.
  65. the public in public health
    Endless cycles of
    mandated masks. The lesson
    is to never try.
  66. the pollening
    Yellow dust swirling
    everywhere, sinuses in
    total misery.
  67. instant dissatisfaction
    When you click on “Buy,”
    but the shipping won’t happen
    for 6 to 8 weeks.
  68. how to binge
    Theme song. Episode.
    Closing credits. Repeat. Move
    on to the next show.
  69. my montage
    Clock in. Do my job.
    Clock out. Eat my dinner. Read
    a book. Go to bed.
  70. writing in the sky
    Her hands and arms and
    face telegraphed ancient thoughts
    in potent fashion.
  71. coming out party
    Once dead and newly
    risen, he appears for his
    heavenly reward.
  72. return to office
    Taking the last 2
    years of struggle and success
    and forgetting them.
  73. talking type
    An lol, an
    ikr and a couple
    of hbu’s, too.
  74. confronting a fear
    Saying aloud the
    parts that have me confounded
    and begging for help.
  75. first date at a wine bar
    I haven’t laughed so
    hard in a long time and been
    able to relax.
  76. the grownup party
    All the little ones
    wanted to do was stay up
    late and play some games.
  77. the grownup party part 2
    All the older ones
    wanted to do was converse
    deeply and drink rum.
  78. best buds everywhere
    A forest stroll shows
    off the fragrant flowers just
    coming into bloom.
  79. addicted to illegals
    A cop show for just
    anyone and everyone
    who has eyeballs, pulse.
  80. keys to literary success
    Start slowly to draw
    the reader in, go faster,
    end on a climax!!
  81. get the grill ready
    Dump out the ashes
    and scrape the gunk off the grill.
    Ready for some meats.
  82. even drummers get the love
    When rock stars die, fans
    mourn them all, especially
    those who smashed things hard.
  83. an audience of one or two
    No matter how small
    the following, to give it
    all you’ve got each time.
  84. slipping into the ether
    A heaviness falls
    and thoughts and steps slur in a
    bumble of nonsense.
  85. the sacrifices for barbecue
    Working the pit at
    four in the morning, tending
    those meats carefully.
  86. the 50-year-old dad
    He could still give some
    piggyback rides while saving
    for their college funds.
  87. lazy man’s pancakes
    Forget the milk and
    eggs, just remember to add
    the baking powder.
  88. the promise of work ahead
    Her eyes lit up at
    the prospect of remaining
    busy through the week.
  89. hello and goodbye
    The introvert slips
    in for a quick appearance
    before sneaking out.
  90. keeping tabs
    A browser straining
    under the weight of dozens
    of open websites.
  91. canines come and go
    The bad dog mom keeps
    her nail appointment while her
    mutt’s in surgery.
  92. groaning for juice
    Phones should wail each time
    their batteries run down so
    we know they’re in pain.
  93. laundry for beginners
    Trying to wash clothes
    with differing instructions
    and rules in one load.
  94. the kilimanjaro effect
    Almost to the top,
    freezing like never before,
    gasping in thin air.
  95. gesturing stream of consciousness
    So fluent in sign
    language that he could ramble
    carelessly with hands.
  96. out of the mouths of rubes
    Cancel culture? More
    like consequence culture for
    lousy opinions.
  97. the need for checks in 2022
    To pay only the
    landscaper because Venmo
    charges a small fee.
  98. rank ’em
    Destination spots.
    “Cheers” episodes. Power tools.
    Vanilla ice creams.
  99. the many uses of cereal
    Breakfast, snack, ice cream
    topping, dessert bars, hiding
    spot for toys, fiber.
  100. adventures in conscious states
    A few milligrams
    and the mind is allowed to
    slip the grasp of self.
  101. a bookkeeper’s place
    A running tally
    of numbers numbers numbers
    which must all add up.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 59

Saturday, February 5th, 2022

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  1. happiest of holidays
    A nonstop orgy
    of gifts, eating, dressing up
    and some reflection.
  2. the true cost of higher education
    A little learning
    can contribute to a life
    weighed down with deep debt.
  3. secret windfall
    A surprise bonus
    pumping up the coffers with
    necessary cash.
  4. weeny forecast
    Littlest monsters
    scavenge streets for sugary
    treats and slight mischief.
  5. writers get it, too
    Impostor syndrome
    rears its ugly head before
    I can start typing.
  6. dancing under the stars
    We gathered at the
    old park to drink beers and hear
    the bands play all day.
  7. the darkest highway
    The headlights barely
    pierce the nighttime before our
    car. A light rain falls.
  8. happy birthday, biff
    Alive for 50,
    friends for 40, a long time
    with a good buddy.
  9. before the party starts
    Nervously munching
    on crudité, waiting for
    old friends to arrive.
  10. a few minutes here and there
    I need to spend more
    time writing in the nooks and
    crannies of each day.
  11. modern package tracking
    Wormhole. Cleveland, then
    Narnia. Drone drops ninja
    bot. Wake up with box.
  12. damn kids
    They know everything
    about what’s in and nothing
    about their elders.
  13. the endless race
    Brain and body. Sheer
    exhaustion. Consequences
    of running full speed.
  14. get high, get thai
    Grab some gummies and
    let the week melt away. Feel
    the great weightlessness.
  15. never in short supply
    Could we stop making
    so many war veterans
    and start waging peace?
  16. the sport of scrolling
    Looking for hotties.
    Need inspiration. Killing
    brain cells. Hate-scrolling.
  17. any port in a storm
    Lower your standards,
    and raise your hopes, for cuffing
    season has begun.
  18. the cure for incuriousity
    Explore the depths of
    the people in your life and
    discover wonders.
  19. the quilt
    Investing each piece
    with feeling, meaning, making
    a textile thesis.
  20. the hazards of wordsmithing
    Some days the words flow.
    Others, they must be pried out
    with a screwdriver.
  21. everyone appreciates a good sideshow
    To puncture the staid
    veil of reality, go
    forth and get weirder.
  22. pro dreams in a college town
    Birmingham’s quest for
    pro status: Cinderella
    story or nightmare?
  23. the job interview: the beginner
    Fumble for the right
    words, make the manager see
    you as competent.
  24. a melodious evil
    She hums a motif,
    giving the composer a
    way to score her sins.
  25. if it bleeds, it undermines the fabric of society
    If news outlets aren’t
    trying to scare viewers to
    death, what is the point?
  26. as opposed to shut-ins and boors
    Inspiration comes
    from having a robust life
    and clever instincts.
  27. keeping cool
    The fridge wanted a
    holiday, but I wouldn’t
    budge. Heated exchange.
  28. a country 2021
    He lost his girlfriend
    and his dog this year, sadness
    waiting for lyrics.
  29. the rites of gratitude
    Being grateful makes
    us happier, so give thanks
    every day you can.
  30. every day is black friday
    We shop from our phones
    and check out on our doorsteps.
    It’s retail’s revenge.
  31. ready for any apocalypse
    She weaves her fabrics
    and raises her hens, prepared
    for the fall of man.
  32. midway through dune
    The anxiety
    waits quietly, ready to
    pounce when given space.
  33. hobbyists and practitioners
    Should all creations
    be interrogated as
    Art? Can we stand it?
  34. the plague of drought
    As water dwindles,
    will we go to war over
    remaining droplets?
  35. the extra noel is for spite
    May all my friends go
    to hell. Noel noel no-
    el noel noel.
  36. reflections of van gogh
    Projectors beam his
    works across expansive walls
    while we stroll through them.
  37. a new stadium, gently used
    The vocal few packed
    half the stands, while the rest stayed
    filled with ghostly hopes.
  38. being mortal
    What’s harder: dying,
    or living on in a world
    of indifference?
  39. digital death rituals
    We gather to mourn
    on Facebook, swapping stories
    and pics of the dead.
  40. questions for down the road
    Will I have enough
    money? Or virility?
    Or will to keep on?
  41. ode to a modern dance troupe
    They defy the laws
    of gravity, with grace, with
    physicality.
  42. art pop
    Impressionism
    for Joe Sixpack, smudges of
    paint for the masses.
  43. tidings of great joy
    The best present we
    have to give is ourselves in
    this do-over year.
  44. the end is nigh
    Death is coming. We
    greet it with awe, with sorrow,
    with celebration.
  45. the plan to outlive everyone
    The only flaw is
    having no one left to talk
    with at the day’s end.
  46. mystery dance
    They twirl and tumble
    onstage, and I don’t get the
    movement and meaning.
  47. all downhill from here
    The best verse I have
    ever written is buried
    among published heaps.
  48. afflict the comfortable
    We’d rather sink in
    the morass of ignorance
    than learn painful truths.
  49. a relationship built on uncertainty
    It’s a pattern of
    not trusting our needs and not
    sharing our questions.
  50. the spending continues
    Experiences
    over things, and yet both use
    capitalism.
  51. nations and money, law and society
    The fabric of our
    reality is largely
    based on shared grand myths.
  52. vaccines, critical race theory, nascar
    Cannot avoid it:
    Everything’s political
    though it shouldn’t be.
  53. plague to end all plagues
    Five million dead, it
    will probably hang out for
    a while. Get boosted.
  54. the unpuzzle
    Tricky problem less
    tricky after time away
    and a good night’s sleep.
  55. greet the winter fondly
    Before long, the nights
    will shrink again and harsh cold
    will give way to warmth.
  56. symphony of paper, twine and tape
    Nothing beats the joy
    and contentment of wrapping
    a gift perfectly.
  57. season of loneliness
    Togetherness means
    nothing to those without loved
    ones to draw closer.
  58. the quiet of christmas eve
    When kids finally
    fall asleep and parents swear
    softly building bikes.
  59. how many candles?
    It’s someone’s birthday
    today. And what a joyous
    occasion it is!
  60. resolve to be nicer
    “Be kind” might be the
    only commandment we need
    to get by in life.
  61. the quality of banter
    The quality of
    banter determines the fun
    to be had en masse.
  62. naughty card games
    Their innuendo
    proceeded with every card
    dealt, every brow raised.
  63. she doesn’t do pets
    Not on her couch, and
    definitely not in her
    bed. Cuteness, be gone!
  64. banned words, 2021 edition
    Canceled, woke, extra,
    deplatform and air fryer.
    (Let’s hang on to “vax.”)
  65. eve
    A waltz, a kiss, a
    toast, a vow, a glance, a shared
    look and a new year.
  66. our third pandemic year
    Let us resolve to
    take care of each other, while
    we care for ourselves.
  67. the year of the cell
    Will it be a year
    of true connection or a
    year spent on our phones?
  68. philosophical streaming
    Should life be binged in
    a mad rush or savored bite
    by bite? Gulp, or chew?
  69. wittier by sweat
    Wringing laughs from tame
    writing, punching up punch lines,
    hoping for howling.
  70. hope for 2022
    Freedom from worry,
    from suffering, from violence,
    from things ’21.
  71. a near insurrection
    We almost let them
    steal democracy when they
    stormed the Capitol.
  72. democracy in peril
    Are we content to
    let the traitors spit lies and
    plan another siege?
  73. latest-stage capitalism
    Amazon turned our
    old mall into a giant
    distribution hub.
  74. mall used up
    One by one the stores
    fled, or worse, sank deeper in
    the fetid water.
  75. pennies from hell
    The reliable
    old Walmart, where cheapness is
    the ultimate good.
  76. gastronomic excesses
    Course after course, we
    indulged in fine wines and some
    exquisite dining.
  77. the takeoff of the squadron
    A mighty few came
    to witness the launch of our
    minor league hoops team.
  78. my favorite social media faux pas
    She thought Instagram
    was private and sent pics of
    her butt to all y’all.
  79. a meeting over breakfast
    The best time to fuel
    up and trade secrets with an
    admirable friend.
  80. jonesin’ for dopamine
    Notification.
    Check status. Alert. Quick glance.
    Repeat until dead.
  81. mortal beings
    We’re all beginning
    to wither year by year till
    our ripeness is rot.
  82. a man most reviled
    King found little love
    among white Americans
    as the ’60s raged.
  83. clanton, usa
    Come sit a spell with
    me beneath the oversize
    peach water tower.
  84. post-viewing supplemental reading
    I like to binge and
    then read up, water cooler
    moments on the fly.
  85. finding life’s purpose
    Winding down each day,
    looking for something to do,
    how to fill a void.
  86. the book bandit
    She sped through all kinds
    of fiction, sharing her love
    with literati.
  87. chef nobody
    He wanted to cook
    more, but didn’t care for the
    shopping, prep and wait.
  88. half crazy
    It’s very common:
    Half will be diagnosed with
    a mental illness.
  89. mindscape
    The brain is a black
    box, able to imagine
    and help us sit straight.
  90. scrolling habits
    Silent videos,
    noisy videos, lovely
    houses and train wrecks.
  91. stop, look and listen
    Up and down the same
    streets, past the same houses, still
    seeing something new.
  92. calculus of regret
    Possible joy and
    minor hazards, divided
    by risk and reward.
  93. truth, beauty, etc.
    Why do we create
    art? To show off? To scratch an
    itch? To understand?
  94. a painting, an opera, an nft
    Why do we consume
    art? To gain wisdom? To feed
    the soul? To unwind?
  95. plugged in
    You’re either really
    in the know or the dumbest
    fool in history.
  96. shivering
    Despair of winter
    is facing brutal cold in
    nothing but sweaters.
  97. the camera goes where?
    Colonoscopy
    day: Prep in the wee hours,
    sleep through procedure.
  98. the lens of others
    Divining meaning
    in a vaguely written verse
    while they stare blankly.
  99. the simple joys of a simple diet
    Chicken, spinach, eggs,
    lentils, beans, more chicken and
    eggs, veggies, dinner.
  100. mantras wanted
    Boil my complete
    philosophy down to a
    bumper sticker please.
  101. january’s ultimate joy
    Dining room table
    surrounded by dear friends on
    a cold winter’s night.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 58

Wednesday, October 27th, 2021

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  1. the sweetest shoppe
    Cookies and cakes and
    assorted confections, all
    sugar to savor.
  2. george floyd
    Minneapolis
    man seeking redemption and
    work while getting straight.
  3. ahmaud arbery
    Georgia runner who
    loved his mama’s fudge cake and
    did great impressions.
  4. more on breonna taylor
    Louisville ER
    tech who scribbled goals on Post-
    it notes in her home.
  5. the embiggening of milkshakes
    Stick ’em in a jar
    and top with cupcakes, pretzels
    and firecrackers.
  6. in the grips of depression
    Each morning I sink
    back into the ooze, drowning
    slowly on dry land.
  7. making time for everything and nothing
    The energy to
    do 500 things, the time
    to do maybe four.
  8. the coming race war
    Keep pushing people
    of color to the brink. Fuck
    around and find out.
  9. the longest book
    The longest book is
    the one sitting patiently,
    ready to be read.
  10. no one deserves her smile
    She graces me with
    a knowing grin, dazzling my
    eyes, melting my heart.
  11. hurricane country
    Much like where you live,
    with a few more occasions
    to flee for your lives.
  12. ongoing obsolescence
    The way we do things
    today won’t be around for
    very much longer.
  13. a last summer hurrah
    Before they send us
    back to confined spaces, full
    of vaccines, ennui.
  14. postcard to a friend
    I’m at the beach, but
    dreaming about us having
    dinner together.
  15. the canine twins
    No scrap goes untouched,
    no ball goes unthrown in a
    two-dog family.
  16. sunshine on hidden depths
    Growing my hair in
    back and chewing on Skoal. I
    am Florida man.
  17. sandy siren
    The beach stretches out
    forever and calls you back
    (without the big crowds).
  18. postcard poetry
    Back in Florida
    enjoying the sand, seafood
    and grand sunrises.
  19. the corpse in the driveway
    It used to be a
    bird, or maybe a squirrel. And
    now covered in flies.
  20. for a few commas more
    I, do, not, like, the,
    insistence, on, the, use, of,
    the, Oxford, comma.
  21. his one trick
    Waiting for it. More
    anticipation. Snatching
    the treat from mid-air.
  22. infinite grief in a finite period
    When do we mourn a
    pandemic, all the lost lives?
    And when do we stop?
  23. a restorative place
    I find my seat and
    begin the warmup to a
    session of breathing.
  24. word search
    He dutifully
    crossed out excess words on the
    sheet with a red pen.
  25. back to school 2021
    Classmates free of masks
    and full of shots once again
    crowd their old classrooms.
  26. moth mayhem
    Their swarms visit each
    room, awaiting their turns to
    redo my wardrobe.
  27. the future is streaming
    Buzzy series, live
    sports, cooking demos, doorbell
    pirates, Old Sheldon.
  28. head games
    Star athletes compete
    for glory, but we fail to
    see the mental toll.
  29. a race against variants
    Will the unvaxxed kill
    us all? Will the strain between
    tribes undo it all?
  30. the pandemic in fall, second round
    Return to normal,
    or a march into a great
    unknown risk for all.
  31. those disposable pandemic pets
    No longer puppies
    and kittens, they returned to
    shelters unneeded.
  32. black lives still matter
    How quickly our white
    allies went back to business
    long before justice.
  33. bad reams
    Most dreams die from the
    amount of paperwork that
    it takes to launch them.
  34. casual racism
    It slips into our
    conversation so quickly
    I fail to push back.
  35. resistance isn’t futile
    Maybe the reason
    we’re so memorable is
    because we fight back.
  36. the dog walker’s mantra
    Who’s happy to see
    me? Who’s a good boy? Oh yes,
    it’s you! You you you!!
  37. beacons of positivity
    The people in our
    lives who radiate joy stand
    out for their brilliance.
  38. art for art’s sake
    Do something, and do
    it badly. Don’t make money
    from it. Just enjoy.
  39. losing a best friend
    One weird fight, and years
    of camaraderie slip
    away in the wind.
  40. a fiftieth wish
    I hope you’re safe, I
    hope you’re well, but most of all,
    I hope you’re happy.
  41. looks like we mated
    You have something on
    your face. No, not there. Lower.
    That conniving smile.
  42. the harvest, summer edition
    Cucumber, cucum-
    ber, cucumber, cucumber,
    cucumber and dill.
  43. jetset jaunt
    Fly across the world
    for fine dining, then fly back
    home with full bellies.
  44. hope for everyone and no one
    A drunk drying out
    while protecting his claim to
    the girls he neglects.
  45. after a rainy walk
    He proudly trots from
    the door on the kitchen floor,
    muddy paws and all.
  46. this dog misses his mama and daddy
    He whimpers, wonders
    where his family has gone
    while gnawing on bones.
  47. anxiety on the line
    Keeping a firm grip
    on the leash, never knowing
    which way he might run.
  48. sprint and spritz
    Neither darkness nor
    rain kept him from his rounds of
    marking territory.
  49. a rare promotion
    They lifted her up
    after so many years in
    the trenches toiling.
  50. the cost of doing business
    For labor, a chance
    to reassess their worth. For
    management, the same.
  51. the 27-course meal
    An abundance of
    forks, plates, servers and wines cross
    our table nonstop.
  52. flowers as lovely as her
    I bring you roses
    with the hope they bloom like our
    new relationship.
  53. backyard agenda
    We float along in
    the quiet pool, staring up
    at the lazy clouds.
  54. downtown saturday morning
    The cyclists search for
    a brunch spot, while the homeless
    man keeps to his bench.
  55. the lessons of 9/11
    Twenty years of wars.
    Do we terrorize others
    more than they do us?
  56. kitchen harmony
    Me on the skillet,
    her on the cutting board, a
    dinner taking shape.
  57. a pound of regret
    Hospitals stretched to
    their limits. But we can’t be
    bothered to wear masks.
  58. the inevitable nth wave
    It was predicta-
    ble. It was preventable.
    It is laughable.
  59. uncomfortably numb
    Becoming inured
    to death is like being dead
    inside already.
  60. escape rooms themes
    A flooded basement.
    Human trafficking boxcar.
    Brunch with the in-laws.
  61. best wishes and gritted teeth
    We’re so happy for
    your continued success and
    its many blessings.
  62. new job, still remote
    He sat in the same
    living room, flipped on the same
    laptop, but earned more.
  63. the freedom of fiction
    Writing about life’s
    many strange things whether they’re
    about you or not.
  64. death of a waffle house
    Smothered, padlocked and
    kneecapped. The mourners brought their
    flasks. One guy threw up.
  65. her mighty garden
    Raised beds filled with all
    kinds of vegetables, some tall
    and some buried deep.
  66. autumnal pause
    A breather between
    the sweltering summer and
    a gloomy winter.
  67. the fixer-upper
    They spent weekends on
    painting and sanding and trips
    to the big box store.
  68. broadway bind
    Hours and days spent
    in rehearsal, for minutes
    in the lone spotlight.
  69. some pig
    Tallulah wants time
    in the sun and a small mud
    patch to call her own.
  70. man vs. city hall
    They levy the tax.
    I fight back. They hold fast. I
    keep fighting. They win.
  71. fall getaways 2021
    A last jaunt to the
    beach, maybe a cabin, but
    not the ICU.
  72. throwing away their vote
    Why are we afraid
    to make voting easier
    for Americans?
  73. phrased in the form of a questionable haiku
    Who knew hiring
    a game show host would be so
    politically fraught?
  74. search engine doctorates
    Everyone you know
    is an expert in any-
    thing and everything.
  75. our relationship with tv
    We’re pickier and
    more voracious, enchanted
    and obligated.
  76. halloween or dystopic nightmare?
    I’m going to be
    the prettiest handmaiden
    in all Gilead.
  77. relationship detente
    When both sides reach an
    understanding that no more
    growth is possible.
  78. the ted lasso dilemma
    Can we meet harshness
    with kindness, outright cruelty
    with some empathy?
  79. feels like fall
    A simple drop in
    temperature warms my heart and
    brings out my cool side.
  80. in a few syllables
    I can reinvent
    my unremarkable self
    into something grand.
  81. anxiety is the thief
    Anxiety is
    the thief that robs us of our
    sense of well-being.
  82. the lump in the window
    The furry lump does
    not stir, does not see me (or
    maybe does), snoozing.
  83. the laziest pickpockets
    They reach unseen in
    wallets and purses to shop
    for pizza and gas.
  84. delta variant by five
    Stadiums full of
    fans packed tightly to enjoy
    their football fever.
  85. legacies of columbus
    Globalization
    and all the wonders and hor-
    rors that come with it.
  86. the legend of the haunted hardee’s
    Ghosts roam the booths, all
    dead from hunger and lack of
    attentive service.
  87. the probable son
    Doesn’t care for his
    parents, nor for the fractured
    legacy to boot.
  88. prick or treat
    Vaccines as either
    bold trick to ensnare victims
    or free pass to fun.
  89. the real ongoing pandemic
    Why aren’t we making
    a bigger deal out of the
    risks of climate change?
  90. eternally maternally
    Mama bear cares for
    her cubs so very dearly.
    Watch out for those claws!
  91. ascendiary
    Each day can be a
    mountain. We may not peak, but
    we can still climb some.
  92. clickety click clack
    Abandoned office
    registers the lone sound of
    gently tapped keyboards.
  93. stats for life
    BP, temperature,
    cholesterol (good and bad),
    weight, pulse and pain scale.
  94. costume dilemma
    Silly or sexy,
    pop culture or historic,
    homemade or store bought.
  95. busy busy busy
    Burning the candle
    at both ends, in the middle
    and from deep inside.
  96. what lurks beneath, above and all around us
    Death and horror got
    nothin’ on Halloween this
    year. Scary shmary.
  97. can society?
    Can democracy
    survive without committing
    to the public good?
  98. fight or flights of fancy
    The dialogue on
    mental health gets louder with
    each passing daydream.
  99. the fear and now
    Between depression
    and anxiety, I’ve got
    past and future locked.
  100. and not feel so alone
    We talk openly
    about our mental struggles
    so others may learn.
  101. true confessions
    I admit weakness.
    Is vulnerability
    a strength? I hope so.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 57

Sunday, July 18th, 2021

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  1. a society of things that need food, shelter
    Minimum wages,
    living wages are the cost
    of using humans.
  2. the plight of the omnivorous
    The fun thing about
    thinking about food is the
    endless variety.
  3. a zero-growth strategy
    Many are content
    with stasis, needing only
    to cover the churn.
  4. contentedness is its own reward
    Happy to remain
    still, grateful for what is and
    what is still possessed.
  5. the descent of spring
    Warm days with subtle
    pollinated breezes
    that waft through our toes.
  6. the lavish picnic
    Group tees and streamers
    galore in the pavilion
    at the shady park.
  7. no taste for accounting
    On your 1040,
    just write “COVID” in giant
    letters, pay next year.
  8. the commodification of mindfulness
    The utmost holy
    oneness with creation … as
    an in-app purchase.
  9. age appropriate
    Are cartoons for kids?
    Is sugary cereal,
    or tabletop games?
  10. makes me smile
    Half-remembering
    a dumb joke, or a mishap
    from long, long ago.
  11. drug trials
    Try this formula,
    feel it fail. Try that prescription,
    turn your insides out.
  12. technological leaps
    The joy of a new
    smartphone is soon outweighed by
    figuring it out.
  13. ownership in the digital age
    Creative works can
    vanish with flip of a switch,
    ones into zeros.
  14. planet of the oops
    Getting hotter and
    hotter, maybe this world is
    some other world’s hell.
  15. folders and photos and files and flotsam
    A cluttered desktop
    is the sign of a cluttered
    AI, it muttered.
  16. no one flies kites any more
    A scenic hilltop,
    gusting winds and a sky full
    of aerial hopes.
  17. emerging from the cave
    We take baby steps
    into a world once consumed
    with disease and death.
  18. may the circle be
    You are the five you
    keep closest. But what happens
    when you grow apart?
  19. april 27, 2011
    The morning storms spun
    up lesser tornadoes to
    scar Alabama.

    The evening brought a
    furious set of twisters.
    Hundreds would be killed.

    We remember that
    day 10 years on, what we lost,
    who we miss dearly.

  20. so bad it’s profitable
    Throw a bunch of shows
    at the wall and see who streams.
    A binge of big bucks.
  21. her fiftieth
    A peek back, and a
    stride forward into a life
    of love and kindness.
  22. one small step for mechanical man
    Robots use arms and
    legs to traverse terrain we’d
    rather not visit.
  23. pièce de résistor
    Gonna digitize
    my soul and sell it as an
    NFT. For Art!
  24. post-pandemic fever
    Let’s do everything
    all at once without masks and
    hugging and sneezing.
  25. enjoy your crippled lungs
    So many folks do
    not want the vaccine. More room
    for me on airplanes.
  26. antibodies and auntie betties
    We’re long overdue
    to welcome our relatives
    back into our lives.
  27. peak pfizer
    I will never be
    stronger than clomping through Five
    Below fully vaxxed.
  28. water can’t wash away relaxation
    Even in a burst
    of torrential rain, the dream
    vacation lazed on.
  29. methodical menuing
    It took a few tries,
    but he finally landed
    on the perfect dish.
  30. little doc
    The man can play a
    mean trumpet. A marriage of
    artist and hot brass.
  31. sgt. woodard
    He opened our eyes
    after being blinded by
    white supremacists.
  32. the medium of garbage
    They took out the trash
    and converted it to some
    profitable art.
  33. typecast
    INFJ or
    ESTP, MBT-
    I is DUM.
  34. 51 laps
    On the track, he took
    the punishment of asphalt
    for some 13 miles.
  35. might as well netflix and chill
    They couldn’t agree
    on a movie, time, row or
    location. Just snacks.
  36. nonfictitious license
    Need a long take on
    whaling, or race? I have the
    perfect doc for that.
  37. right shape, wrong texture
    The computer finds
    pies in round shapes with one to
    two crusts. (And cakes, too.)
  38. graduated, sort of
    Their senior year, one
    spent half at home, half in masked
    spaces, fizzling out.
  39. 3 million and counting
    COVID world death toll:
    As if we murdered all of
    Utah this past year.
  40. original? sin
    The smart money’s on
    sequels, reboots, revivals,
    remakes, do-overs.
  41. a pen like lightning
    Deadline? Write faster.
    Space to fill? Write faster. New
    insights? WRITE FASTER!
  42. rocket ship to uravarice
    Is the way to space
    paved with profitable ends?
    One small step for greed.
  43. a pair of pricks
    The first shot feels like
    apprehension. The second,
    a little like hope.
  44. the movie marathoners
    Long past a double
    feature, late into the night
    and next day, they watched.
  45. breakups and acquisitions
    The managers made
    moves, hoping for a payoff
    soon and mightily.
  46. the tub of the past
    The bin held photos
    and letters guiding loved ones
    to kin, history.
  47. the leaky purse
    Out slipped cold hard cash
    and plastic cards long worn down
    from endless swiping.
  48. words matter
    Free speech that causes
    blowback. Cancel culture? No,
    consequence culture.
  49. nicked with an apostrophe
    Sometimes, the perfect
    haiku arrives, ‘cept the loss
    of a syllable.
  50. the schizoid standoff
    He said the voices
    had never lied, unlike his
    weary family.
  51. pots and panic
    Her dating profile
    said she could cook it all. Her
    dating profile lied.
  52. crimes against nurture
    He’s not such a bad
    guy, they’d say in defense. That’s
    just how he was raised.
  53. white crosses as far as the eye can see
    The more veterans
    who commit suicide, the
    darker this day gets.
  54. the unherbalist
    I spray weed killer
    over the lawn. I have be-
    come what I despise.
  55. tuesday wine and cheese
    The hours flew by
    as they shared bits and pieces
    of their little lives.
  56. retreat or retrench
    On top of every-
    thing else, the boss said farewell
    to the dismayed troops.
  57. safety dance
    That weird feeling when
    wearing a mask while certain
    of no one’s status.
  58. line 3 is just retching noises
    Call on line 1, car
    warranty threat. Line 2 wants
    to buy your house now.
  59. the joys of working on ourselves
    We confront our worst
    fears, only to find we still
    have much work to do.
  60. pictures, but in word form
    Reading all about
    TV is often more fun
    than watching the shows.
  61. the chinese of mississippi
    Brought as cheap labor,
    they turned to opening shops
    for the Black townsfolk.
  62. the world’s oldest smartphone
    Calls, some apps, a cracked
    screen, slow charging and a lot
    of hints to upgrade.
  63. the destiny in your own hands
    We do not control
    others. We barely have a
    grip on our own fate.
  64. littlest buggers
    The termites bit through
    the foundation and nibbled
    away at a dream.
  65. real estate, real ante
    They had a tough time
    bidding on houses till they
    offered their first born.
  66. reefer referendum
    As society
    inches ever closer to
    legal pot, breathe in.
  67. quickee settee
    Come on down to the
    furniture palace … pick it,
    carry it, build it.
  68. the chicken hat
    Leave behind something
    to have an excuse to come
    back and make smooches.
  69. one thumb out
    “The movies are like
    a machine that generates
    empathy.” — Ebert
  70. two hundred years from now
    We’ll all be long dead.
    No one will remember us.
    Take comfort in that.
  71. uncle vanya
    When a relative
    goes batty holding down the
    farm. See, Chekhov’s won.
  72. for the juneteenth time
    Freedom Day, where the
    freedom came in dribs and drabs
    for a hundred years.
  73. hot. girl. summer.
    Summer ain’t summer
    without the hottest ladies
    and their sunny smiles.
  74. sweet, sweet home
    A foundation of
    love, windows of hope, shelter
    for souls, room for peace.
  75. to beat the rubik’s cube
    Slide, twist, double back.
    See the future in fifty-
    four shiny stickers.
  76. endemic to the end of the pandemic
    Well, whaddaya know?
    The shots worked, and the world is
    a little safer.
  77. the cost of moving on
    You can’t buy my for-
    giveness. I think it just kind
    of has to happen.
  78. at my parents’ house
    We sat on the same
    sofa, in front of the same
    bookcase, just agog.
  79. generation gapped
    What do you say when
    it’s been decades since you last
    spoke to each other?
  80. a century on wheels
    A formidable
    duo, they sailed down highways
    searching for freedom.
  81. the curve
    She dreaded the spot
    on the interstate where all
    her nerves knotted up.
  82. critical racist theory
    Let’s discuss race, but
    only one, and how that one
    is superior.
  83. a return to normal
    Everyone, feel free
    to be giant assholes to
    each other again.
  84. not to scale
    The digital map
    shows the same twisty line with
    the same twisty length.
  85. holiday weekend bender
    Party. Pass out. Then
    party harder. Pass out. Then
    really party. Hard.
  86. sunny, sunny florida
    It’s been too long, my
    palmy, sandy friend. Pour me
    a tall Sea Breeze, please.
  87. independence? depends
    The land where some are
    free, and the home of a few
    brave. Long may she live.
  88. the master of the grill
    Clean grate, piles of meat.
    Get the heat steady, get the
    tongs ready. Let’s cook.
  89. unmasked
    Tavern full of smiles.
    Hearts gladdened by handshakes and
    hugs as we gather.
  90. slow ride, but in 17 syllables
    They’d call out requests,
    and the humble scribe penned such
    mediocre verse.
  91. the blinder leading the blind
    Sure, I know the way,
    I hollered while nervously
    checking the compass.
  92. the long road ahead
    The car was loaded.
    The tank was full. And we were
    on our way back home.
  93. the wicked tongue
    Don’t ask me. I’ll just
    fill your head with such lies and
    pleasantries no end.
  94. rap squad
    They would turn their pain
    into rhymes, their rhymes into
    beats, beats into truth.
  95. smallest talk
    “I love to hike. Where
    do you hike near here?” “Around
    the hill or the valley.”
  96. pent-up post-pandemic priorities
    Every restaurant
    has a 3-hour wait. Ain’t
    this what we wanted?
  97. we’re all in this together
    Back to flipping off
    drivers, blasting staff. Were we
    ever civilized?
  98. manufactured outage 2021
    Trans kids on sports teams,
    Critical Race Theory and
    (boo!) vaccine passports.
  99. the secret to managing your to-do giant list
    Resetting deadlines
    far into the future and
    marking that lie “done.”
  100. birmingham-style pizza
    A crusty pie with
    vinegar-based sauce and an
    overrated rep.
  101. president boring
    An Oval Office
    where the occupant listens
    and leads with a plan.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 56

Thursday, April 8th, 2021

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  1. banned words, 2020 edition
    Pandemic, lockdown,
    social distancing, face mask,
    coronavirus.
  2. the fights long since forgotten
    An apology
    sheepish and belated still
    merits acceptance.
  3. almost midnight
    If you’ve read this far:
    Congratulations, you sur-
    vived 2020.
  4. 2021 and bust
    Never have we been
    so grateful to see the dawn
    of another year.
  5. more and more winter
    It is frostier,
    outside and inside, spreading
    shivers, slowing time.
  6. easiest resolution ever
    Join the gym and get
    fit. Once pandemic ends and
    it’s safe again. (wink!)
  7. the need for work
    It’s tough to make an
    honest living when good jobs
    can hardly be found.
  8. american exceptionalism
    Don’t worry: Other
    countries have safety nets. The
    U.S. has women.
  9. revenge of mr. privilege
    Don’t mess with me. I
    can have you fired with the
    slightest of complaints.
  10. community won’t
    A quaint notion, that
    “common good,” the unfounded
    trust in decency.
  11. a friendship on pause
    Uncomfortable
    silence sprinkled with regrets
    and mild annoyance.
  12. the trust
    By the time she found
    out about it, most of the
    money was long gone.
  13. save the drama from your mama
    Family intrigue
    draws some closer together
    to push others out.
  14. anything for a buck store
    Weed that flourishes
    in the unkempt neighborhoods,
    choking out the rest.
  15. silent menace
    The white walls steepen
    overnight. No way out but
    through. Dig and dig deep.
  16. the undiscovered circuitry
    A new gadget brings
    the joy of figuring it
    out, making it work.
  17. lessons of 2020
    How to beat COVID.
    How to steal an election.
    And Black Lives Matter.
  18. acceptance? radical
    Pain? Mandatory.
    Suffering? Entirely
    optional to you.
  19. jab, jab, knockout
    The first shot and a
    little arm soreness. The next
    shot: immunity.
  20. the digital everlasting gobstopper
    Browse for underwear.
    See ads for underwear in
    every site, page, dream.
  21. the volunteer spirit
    We give what we can.
    We give away and make things.
    We spend time and cash.
  22. mismatched deathbed confessions
    “We thought it was a
    hoax, and we were wrong.” “We still
    think it’s a damn hoax.”
  23. impeachment was just the beginning
    Indict the former
    president. Hold him account-
    able for his crimes.
  24. the listicle is life
    The 50 greatest
    years of my life, ranked by joy,
    wins and shock value.
  25. the gig’s up
    Swipe right for soulmates,
    cab drivers, dog walkers and
    food deliverers.
  26. celestial indicators
    Somewhere is a live
    dashboard tracking your every
    good deed and bad thought.
  27. a pileup of words
    Read or cook dinner.
    Read or binge-watch. Read or take
    a nap. Read or skim.
  28. invasion of the moths
    Corner by corner,
    room by room, they stake claims on
    our territory.
  29. youtopiatube
    Five hundred thousand
    channels to wile away the
    idle days of youth.
  30. the disposable army
    The most menial
    of tasks for the least pay for
    the richest tyrants.
  31. pandemic paradox
    The worse the sickness,
    the more we gather without
    any precautions.
  32. raise the clotilda
    A slave ship returns
    to the Bama port after
    a lengthy detour.
  33. beyond open mic night
    Comedians who
    goof on TikTok, tweet trendy
    jokes and live next door.
  34. chocolate chip champion
    Her prowess with a
    mixer and batter grew with
    every batch she baked.
  35. the nature of hobbies
    An element of
    frustration becoming its
    own perverse pleasure.
  36. six more months of covid
    Fauci pops out of
    quarantine and spots shadows
    of anti-maskers.
  37. it came from craigslist
    Zones where barterers
    can meet without getting mugged
    or shot in the face.
  38. gamestart
    A reality
    show pitting hedge funds against
    day trading neckbeards.
  39. virtual laggard
    A bot filled in for
    me for a bit. No one had
    noticed or minded.
  40. the battle of january 6
    Marauders hell-bent
    on toppling democracy
    and hanging its reps.
  41. the donald j. trump presidential library
    The pee tape and the
    “Access Hollywood” tape, found
    inside Cell Block D.
  42. a new job in the pandemic
    Please report to your
    manager in the kitchen
    via your laptop.
  43. weaponizing bullshit
    An empire of
    media and hucksters with
    greedy intentions.
  44. transactional family
    Quid pro quo, scratching
    of backs, greasing of palms, an
    incestuous trade.
  45. the first lesson of black history month
    Those who cannot re-
    member the Black past are con-
    demned to repeat it.
  46. techwar
    Fighting spam, malware.
    Computers were supposed to
    make lives easier.
  47. catch me inside how bout dah
    We think we have the
    virus figured out. It then
    rolls out new guises.
  48. cupid as warden
    Raise a glass to the
    relationships that endured
    12 months of lockdown.
  49. minimum wage leads to
    Minimum food, health,
    gas, clothing, stability
    and maximum stress.
  50. two clichés and the truth
    Being precise means
    steamrolling all distractions
    to thread the needle.
  51. ol’ reliable
    The steady belief
    that everything will last as
    long as hope’s alive.
  52. the rotting underbelly
    Beneath the veneer,
    a soul badly in need of
    deep understanding.
  53. the doctor on duty
    Healer risks it all
    to save lungs from the global
    menace behind masks.
  54. do-si-dont’s
    Even the smallest
    ingredient shows proof of
    exploited children.
  55. rip moms and pops
    Who lent a hand to
    the struggling small business when
    the pandemic struck?
  56. binge spectating
    The secret joy of
    reading about TV is
    skipping those clunkers.
  57. a perfectly cromulent verse
    Using slang can be
    dangerous since it’s always
    boodling the watchet.
  58. the wanderer
    She found it easy
    to pick up and move, swanning
    to untouched locales.
  59. the data detective
    Where had it gone off
    course, this trail of zeroes and
    ones landing afield?
  60. temporal madness
    To not sleep, to push
    and push through hours and days
    with no set schedule.
  61. that one driver
    Cut someone off in
    traffic, watch them tail you till
    home to cuss you out.
  62. a not-so-simple delivery
    Hunting for common
    items but unable to
    fill the shopping cart.
  63. goin’ off the deep end
    Friday night is here.
    Time to plan all the great ways
    to spend a weekend!
  64. a muse bushed
    Creative writer
    seeks inspiration for the
    next set of verses.
  65. a walk through the woods in winter
    Bundle up and brave
    the cold. Head for the trails to
    commune with nature.
  66. rumble in the cubicle
    Not even the grumps
    at the office can keep me
    from smiling at life.
  67. 1 zzzzz
    She passed out before
    counting, so the sheep snuck off
    very quietly.
  68. two-thirds awake
    A third of our lives
    in bed. A third of our time
    shrouded in slumber.
  69. you’re gonna need a bigger bed
    To be cuddled by
    a pack of warm furry friends
    is to know comfort.
  70. nocturnal visions
    A surreal melange
    of made-up memories and
    dreamy wanderings.
  71. the 140-hour workweek
    So refreshing was
    the long winter’s nap that she
    slept for two more days.
  72. a miracle in a vial
    We can destroy a
    tiny bug by shooting up
    folks with a vaccine.
  73. discommunication
    Email, Slack, phones, fax,
    texts, voicemails … and yet colleagues
    can’t seem to connect.
  74. wires crossed
    Don’t give in to the
    IT desk. Turn off, turn on,
    defenestrate it.
  75. natural neglect
    Weeds and rodents have
    claimed this fertile ground. Can this
    garden rise again?
  76. probably apple and peach
    Anyone could tell
    that the translucent bag had
    a mess of fried pies.
  77. kids, covid and contagion in education
    The physical toll
    on those in classrooms, mental
    toll on those at home.
  78. out and prodigal
    Never too old to
    run away from home, but to
    return is tougher.
  79. at least the billionaires are thriving
    The people are stuck
    with no income, and the jobs
    may never come back.
  80. and you’ll like it
    They celebrated
    their hard-working staff with some
    cake and empty praise.
  81. caucasoid cachet
    A diverse group of
    employees politely clapped
    for white promotions.
  82. the two seasons
    It’s spring, nope it’s still
    winter. It’s spring! Nah, winter.
    Please let it be spring.
  83. somewhat after the fact
    How many times in
    life do you get to bequeath
    your stuff? Oh, right … none.
  84. mired in greatness
    Is the challenge of
    diversity recruitment?
    Or bold ideas?
  85. pledge to our selves
    We make time for the
    things that are important to
    us, no matter what.
  86. forget the gas pump
    Nowhere to be, no
    one to meet, a driveway with
    an abandoned car.
  87. a zoom to remember
    It is lovely to
    spend the night getting older
    with virtual friends.
  88. native advertising
    I’m at my best when
    serving others. I have a
    lot of love to give.
  89. the online introvert
    He could take the chit
    chat for only so long. He
    logged off in a huff.
  90. frugal milestones
    She celebrated
    her newfound wealth by paying
    off her auto loan.
  91. my own postal route
    I get plenty of
    exercise taking others’
    mail to their houses.
  92. so long, suckers
    They would turn their backs
    on nonbelievers, as their
    community shrank.
  93. cleverness masked as decorum
    A sharper wit can
    allow you to speak ill of
    the dead with a smirk.
  94. the joke’s on all of us
    Fake news, voter fraud,
    QAnon, alt-right, Fox News,
    vaccines, Russian tweets.
  95. needling around
    Get a third shot to
    be extra safe and extra
    autistic. JK!!!!
  96. the asian in asian american
    A minority
    modeled on racial divides
    and no acceptance.
  97. sunday starting over
    The promise of a
    rebirth for all, a fresh start
    from our sinful pasts.
  98. asian persuasion
    Not every person
    of color gets asked “Where are
    you from?” Lucky us.
  99. the creepy uncle
    They took down an old
    predator, but it took great
    courage and candor.
  100. self care 2021
    Taking off work clothes
    (pajamas) and slipping in-
    to a nice coma.
  101. the persistent undercurrent
    His mellow moods were
    betrayed by a beautiful
    depression deep down.

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 55

Monday, December 28th, 2020

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  1. the joy of wearing stuff out
    Each possession, bright
    and sturdy, used and used and
    used till broken down.
  2. the very quiet foreign girls poetry group
    Their broken English
    made for elegant stanzas
    of their existence.
  3. having tea with the muse
    Places are set for
    two, she comes and goes (mostly
    goes) as she pleases.
  4. the wonder of autumn
    Celebrate crunching
    of the leaves, cooling of the
    days, cups of cider.
  5. something in the air
    Health care’s finest are
    sitting down to lunch while they’re
    poisoning the room.
  6. the wait for a vaccine
    Racing for a cure,
    taking all the shortcuts, most
    of us won’t partake.
  7. youtube and the alt-right
    The endless stream wreaks
    radicalization, from
    recommendations.
  8. the oldies
    Those songs from that long
    ago era when ancients
    roamed the discotheques.
  9. virtue wriggling
    Don’t pretend Black Lives
    Matter while treating your peers
    and colleagues like dirt.
  10. where to sit in a pandemic
    The signs on every
    other table say to stay
    away. The rest? Fine!
  11. to play ball
    A pause from shooting
    hoops, catching pop-ups, to fight
    police violence.
  12. dreaming of the harvest
    Little seeds, big plans,
    rows of hope and dirt-covered
    jeans, come sun, come rain.
  13. when crisis management needs crisis management
    Forging safety for
    a nation divided puts
    us in more danger.
  14. up-to-the-minute bad news
    It’s never been more
    fashionable to shoot the
    messenger point blank.
  15. a foreign policy built on human rights
    Not to invade and
    conquer, but to assist and
    leave somewhat better.
  16. one russian, one vote
    Interference means
    our picks don’t matter, our hopes
    and voices poisoned.
  17. play balls
    Every sport all at
    once, a smorgasbord and a
    true fan’s worst nightmare.
  18. it started today in 2005
    I’ve written haiku
    daily for 15 years and
    don’t plan on stopping.
  19. safety fatigue
    Playing by the rules
    sucks when everyone else does
    whatever they want.
  20. a library is more than just books
    It’s readers, crafty
    librarians, free-range kids
    and random townsfolk.
  21. the reading-is-contagious book club
    The ladies, without
    masks, piled into the living
    room to gossip, gloat.
  22. everything is coronavirus
    Scratchy throat, a cough
    (but only once in a while),
    bleeding from the eyes.
  23. ode to the post office
    Sometimes surly, but
    able to take my letter
    for only four bits.
  24. how people are voting
    In person on time
    or early, by mail or drop
    box, hopeful, anxious.
  25. halloween improvised
    Bobbing for vaccines.
    Trick or grab-and-go bagged treat.
    Masks and nothing else.
  26. web two-point-whoa
    Doomscrolling on a
    Wednesday night, watching all the
    misery out there.
  27. dujuan, far from home
    Aboriginal
    healer, just 10, struggled with
    school and the system.
  28. gasping for revenue
    Every town scraping
    by till we reopen it
    all someday, some year.
  29. ready to dream about bones
    A pittie in his
    PJs scampers to and fro,
    comfy and happy.
  30. ones, zeroes and solutions
    We collect all this
    data and ask it how we
    should manage our lives.
  31. witches and black cats, too
    Carve a jack-o’-lan-
    tern, put it in a mask. Hang
    a skeleton. Same.
  32. benched
    A football team with
    too many positives must
    sit out the season.
  33. a pandemic pickle
    The restaurants are
    too crowded and not crowded
    enough to survive.
  34. ruth bader ginsburg
    She fought and fought and
    fought for women to be all
    treated equally.
  35. death of a hard drive
    Stop playing dead and
    give me my files! Or else I’ll …
    curl up on the floor.
  36. why vote?
    For democracy.
    To choose our leaders. To stick
    it to the Russians.
  37. breonna taylor
    In her apartment,
    an innocent bystander
    shot by cops six times.
  38. reading as an immersion
    I want to read with
    my eyes, my ears, my fingers.
    I want words to last.
  39. our place in history
    A corrupt regime
    that we helped bring about while
    resisting feebly.
  40. he wouldn’t wear a mask
    He wouldn’t wear a
    mask, not to shop or browse, not
    for him or for you.
  41. little pupils, big caution
    All day, they stayed in
    the one classroom, but they were
    together again.
  42. life on venus
    Microscopic cells
    who enjoy a plush sauna
    and full privacy.
  43. trick or treatment
    *doorbell* *temperature
    check* *hand sanitizer* *tongs*
    *drop candy* Repeat.
  44. on-the-job inspiration
    A posted sign: The
    beatings will continue un-
    til morale improves.
  45. remote hazing
    OMG what’s that
    behind you?! Ha! Made you look.
    (Please unmute yourself.)
  46. vote early and often
    The good people have
    spoken early this year: They’ve
    already voted.
  47. every four years
    The anxiety,
    the held breath, the wait to see
    victory or loss.
  48. where were we?
    Let’s get back to the
    business of running and/or
    ruining this land.
  49. sean connery
    A sub captain, a
    spy and an Irish copper
    walk into a bar …
  50. tailgate in the driveway
    Playing it safe by
    grilling at home and saving
    on the parking fees.
  51. be kind to yourself
    Treat yourself gently
    as you would your best friend and
    show yourself some love.
  52. spare hurricane names
    Unbreakable codes,
    hieroglyphs, nail polish shades,
    semaphores, Klingon.
  53. it’s all uphill from here
    A steady job, a
    purpose in life … man, this dude
    Sisyphus rocked it.
  54. a national debt
    When will we give them
    the highest honor, keeping
    them safe post-service?
  55. a meme-based economy
    Not by your wealth nor
    the sweat of your brow but your
    drolly captioned pics.
  56. a tiktok economy
    Dancing for likes, lip-
    synching for views, being your
    performative self.
  57. the third wave
    Restless for human
    interaction, so tired
    of hunkering down.
  58. the heart of 2020
    One crisis after
    another and another
    and another and …
  59. a strange neighborhood
    Walking past tidy
    lawns and construction sites in
    night’s semi-darkness.
  60. the confrontation that wasn’t a confrontation
    They demanded to
    meet with her only to tell
    her good job, sort of.
  61. and a few misspelled words
    Sending a text with
    random punctuation % enh,
    they’ll figure it out^
  62. cheers under a faltering light
    They snuck glasses of
    wine when parents weren’t watching
    and drank to good times.
  63. at least we still have power
    Why does everything
    break down after the checking
    account is tapped out?
  64. stylish strokes
    Typographically
    speaking, the best fonts convey
    meaning in an “a.”
  65. but would they let them drive?
    Rule for astro-chimps:
    They would not make the monkey
    launch the dang rocket.
  66. ultimate sins
    Doctors: malpractice
    suits, death. Priests: molesting kids.
    Reporters: lying.
  67. thankful for
    The strength to survive
    such an outrageous year while
    faking sanity.
  68. sweet sassy molassy
    I hate when tweets end
    with declarative bull. That’s
    it. That’s the haiku.
  69. pilgrims, indians and social distancing
    Do not gather, but
    give thanks for the good health that
    makes it possible.
  70. blackest friday
    Jam the stores! This cruel
    pandemic economy
    needs sacrifices.
  71. finding meaning in art if not the artist
    The artist can be
    an utter wanker, yet still
    create works of art.
  72. confessions of a trivia winner
    Trust your gut. Keep an
    eye on the competition.
    Sometimes, take a guess.
  73. waltzing autumnal
    Twirl in the moonlight
    surrounded by shadows deep
    in the pumpkin patch.
  74. gifts by the 23rd at the latest
    The naughty list grew
    so big this year that Santa
    just needs a hatchback.
  75. mr. privilege
    Do what I want when
    I want and let the rest of
    the planet be damned.
  76. old growth, new stump
    A tree falls with help.
    Men with their chainsaws carve it
    into huge matchsticks.
  77. cold snap
    The house? Perfectly
    comfortable 68.
    Me? Shivering so.
  78. madam vice president
    Kamala, like a
    breath of fresh air. Kamala,
    let’s be inspired.
  79. the roosting of our sins
    Meeting up without
    a mask. Flaunting our freedom.
    Getting sick in droves.
  80. about living in historical times
    Has 2020
    taught us anything? Are we
    doomed to repeat it?
  81. inclement no more
    Snow comes and blankets
    the roads, and antsy children
    are stuck in Zoom school.
  82. other casualties of the pandemic
    Shopping local has
    never been quicker since so
    many stores have closed.
  83. dark ages the sequel
    Emerging from 4
    years of smearing science and
    setting up scapegoats.
  84. autumn at ruffner
    Up the mountain we
    hiked. Down the mountain we sped.
    All along we breathed.
  85. stabilization
    Her burden feels a
    little lighter, her panic
    starting to subside.
  86. 2020 gonna 2020
    On the first day of
    Christmas, my true love gave to
    me, COVID-19.
  87. the slutty locksmith
    Dirty locks, shiny
    keys. Opening the doors to
    pleasure and tool sheds.
  88. symptoms and strategy
    Can economy
    recover without beating
    virus? So far, no.
  89. the other sickness
    Unbelievable
    stress, new anxiety, lone-
    liness. Minds unwell.
  90. where once were office parties
    Log in and wear your
    finest Christmas jammies while
    sipping spiked eggnog.
  91. the proud pittie in the back yard
    Atop the stump, he
    surveyed the land around him,
    and it pleased him so.
  92. the 99-year-old passive-aggressive samaritan
    Her burdensome texts
    let us know exactly how
    she felt about strays.
  93. pandemic baby boom
    Welcome to all the
    new Coronas and Faucis
    into this masked world.
  94. a new season, i guess
    That bleak sky. Growing
    madness in quarantine. The
    grimness of winter.
  95. for the loved ones we keep safe
    One more Facetime. Some
    cookies and sweaters in the
    mail. Saving up hugs.
  96. a wish list
    Vaccines in every
    stocking, relief checks for the
    jobless, hope for all.
  97. the constant of children’s joy
    Let them sing with glee.
    Let them dream of sugar plums.
    Let them wake with gifts.
  98. all for the birthday boy
    An evening party
    with a barnyard theme and odd
    assortment of gifts.
  99. the monocultural experience
    Back to a world in
    which we share hardships and small
    wins, pathos and grit.
  100. a girl and her horse
    Once ornery, he
    softened under her guidance,
    riding proud as one.
  101. forever … ’21
    Let us renew our
    commitment to a better
    future for us all.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 54

Friday, September 18th, 2020

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  1. the line between fear and paranoia
    A phobia here,
    a conspiracy there, it
    all adds up to squat.
  2. the majority leecher
    A toady who does
    it all for those in power,
    lickspittle for life.
  3. everyday hustle
    We all out here with
    our game faces on, ready
    to make that paper.
  4. time of the prepper
    A cellar fully
    stocked with canned goods, candles and
    assorted ammo.
  5. the tips, not the protesters
    Lots of bystanders
    have tips for protesters, most
    of them horrible.
  6. rise of the sidewalk cafes
    Bistros and hot dog
    joints claim limited spaces
    for al fresco feasts.
  7. tangible gratitude
    Marbles in a jar,
    scribbles on slips of paper,
    lines in a Word doc.
  8. facial security blanket
    The mask made him feel
    only a little safer
    in an unsafe world.
  9. cans of lysol in the carport
    She took grocery
    deliveries at the side
    door and sprayed them down.
  10. salt strife
    Waves mindlessly lap
    the shore, as tourists make the
    most of a crap year.
  11. all summer in a season
    Let the festival
    of sweaty tees and violent
    thunderstorms commence!
  12. the spare minutes
    Time to breathe deeply,
    to compose a love note, to
    gaze in bright wonder.
  13. covering while uncovered
    Modern media
    fired upon by police,
    targets of ire.
  14. any sports is better than no sports
    Empty stands, no one
    hawking $7 cups
    of beer. Players … play.
  15. the looting of america
    From the corner stores,
    but especially from the
    swank corporate board rooms.
  16. on the plaza in the early evening
    She hobbled by with
    a friendly greeting and a
    bare foot in pain.
  17. just another pandemic in america
    How casually
    we conduct our business while
    the virus rages.
  18. social undistancing
    Despite our caution,
    it’s good to see people once
    more. We need contact.
  19. furloughed and frustrated
    Everyone needs a
    job yesterday. The rent’s past
    due, the kids need shoes.
  20. the fun police
    The mere suspicion
    that someone somewhere feels such
    unauthorized joy.
  21. the floor is lava
    The floor is lava.
    As is everything else. Yeah,
    the world’s on fire.
  22. this is just to haiku
    I ate the icebox
    plums saved for breakfast forgive
    me so sweet so cold
  23. can’t have pets
    Allergic not to
    dander or fur but to un-
    conditional love.
  24. the vocal minority
    They took their pouty
    entitlements and their hurt
    feelings and raged on.
  25. 7/4 3/5
    A declaration
    of freedom for some, leaving
    all others behind.
  26. the opposite of schadenfreude
    That pang of envy
    when someone, anyone marks
    a great achievement.
  27. under wraps
    Look, I get it. You’re
    frustrated by the whole mask
    dilemma. Wear it.
  28. cause and effect and effect and effect
    The numbers climb. The
    hospitals struggle. The world
    trudges on weakly.
  29. love in the time of corona
    Will COVID Cupid
    find coronavixen who
    takes my breath away?
  30. regret neutrality
    It isn’t enough
    to not be racist, but to
    be anti-racist.
  31. the launch
    The developers
    lock in the code. Fans look on.
    All systems are go.
  32. protection not persecution
    What does it look like
    when a society re-
    thinks its policing?
  33. representation matters
    I want to see those
    who look like me and those who
    have yet to be seen.
  34. jeremy bearimy, baby
    This 2020
    has been a hellscape of at
    least 35 months.
  35. moments of glee
    Profound joy sneaks in
    between the bouts of anger
    and pure depression.
  36. be now
    This is the now. This
    is the moment we are in.
    Now this is the now.
  37. a devious undeviating satire
    Comedic grace: She
    takes his words and makes them her
    own, makes him her own.
  38. mom and pop sore
    The anxiety
    of watching your dream wither
    away to nothing.
  39. the pandemic p&l statement
    How do we pay rent?
    Pay employees? Stay open?
    Live to fight again?
  40. the disquieting fear
    Burrowed deeply in
    our brains, driving us to run
    from all the known threats.
  41. the empathy spectrum
    Sacrifice for all
    others vs. in it for
    only me me me.
  42. browser breaking point
    Click. Save. Read later.
    Click. Save. Check out later. Click.
    Click. Too many tabs!
  43. that homeostatic feeling
    Even constant pain
    becomes background noise in a
    body on the move.
  44. booted from the swanky italian restaurant
    He played with gusto
    to the sun-soaked parking lot
    amidst the Audis.
  45. project pandemic pick-me-up
    Business is down. Why
    not renovate the inside
    before shoppers return?
  46. surrounded by patients zero
    Every cough suspect,
    every forehead possibly
    ablaze, bugs abound.
  47. we jazz july
    Another blazing
    tornado-dodging virus-
    ravaging summer.
  48. maskholes
    They threw little snits
    at each store asking them to
    wear face coverings.
  49. the strivers
    Striving to be loved.
    Striving to be accepted.
    For equality.
  50. only one shot a year
    They decided to
    postpone the event and pray
    they’d come back next year.
  51. hang on to the summer
    Ice cream cones and long
    drives, starry nights and fire-
    flies, storms and breezes.
  52. first will and testament
    Let’s hope that courage
    is contagious and that our
    leaders aren’t immune.
  53. back-to-school shopping 2020
    Bulletproof backpack,
    face mask, hand sanitizer,
    tiny body bags.
  54. school of hardest knocks
    This fall, send the kids
    back to school in person and
    let God sort ’em out.
  55. other people’s impatience
    Some of us are born
    to wait and wait, while others
    make waiting painful.
  56. a totally chill pandemic
    Neighbors having big
    parties, coworkers touching
    all the coffee cups.
  57. cities under siege
    Protesters marching
    peacefully and lawfully.
    Shock troops on the way
  58. let freedom ring
    Climate deniers,
    school shooters, killer cops. This
    is America.
  59. an unmissed connection
    Deep empathy brings
    hope to the forlorn, the love-
    less, the also rans.
  60. reliable sources
    Experts and mainstream
    media, but also your
    high school dropout aunt.
  61. the emotional roller coaster
    Why do the tears come
    so readily? Before, I
    was a stoic man.
  62. down with democracies
    Disinformation
    arrives in harmless tweets and
    brash targeted ads.
  63. spiral unspiral
    Neutral leads to sad-
    ness leads to shame leads to wor-
    ry leads to calmness.
  64. how we decide
    Rational does not
    mean selfless or detached from
    any emotion.
  65. no good choices, back-to-school edition
    Set them in front of
    a screen, or set them loose in
    a germy classroom.
  66. an alabama loophole
    Schools practice social
    distancing for teachers, kids
    (except for football).
  67. radical monarchs
    Shy caterpillars
    transform into cool pillars
    of social justice.
  68. in search of
    We look for humor
    in dark places and comfort
    in strange bedfellows.
  69. america’s national pastime*
    The crack of the bat,
    the roar of an empty sta-
    dium in strange times.
  70. virtual fans
    They yell, they cheer, they
    boo. But then, no drunken brawls
    or doing the wave.
  71. lessons in world geography
    The other countries
    did it right in beating the
    pandemic. We balked.
  72. a natural enmity
    People are good. But
    that one guy definitely
    is out to get me.
  73. pandemic plan zero
    We’ve tried absolute-
    ly nothing, and yet the num-
    bers keep going up.
  74. poems to the wind
    Freestylin’ verses
    to the masses with brains and
    social media.
  75. the zoom cocktail hour
    A bevy of drinks,
    a so-so wifi signal,
    a lot of crosstalk.
  76. amoral adversary
    The virus doesn’t
    punish bad behavior or
    reward good. It just is.
  77. chaotic neutral
    Alignment is not
    only good and evil but
    also the method.
  78. what does a family look like?
    Are they blood ties or
    select friends and lovers? The
    mind and heart see all.
  79. the trouble with first drafts
    Balancing speedy
    writing with a nagging need
    to edit right then.
  80. try someone else
    On the street and at
    the crossroads, they beg. The re-
    ply is always no.
  81. on brand
    He positioned the
    camera just so, making sure
    his fans saw it all.
  82. cupid’s victim
    A young girl mused on
    her infatuation with
    bright eyes, aching heart.
  83. ’90s jukebox
    The melodies and
    riffs take me back to my young-
    er, more hopeful self.
  84. aa scheme
    A real poem should
    rhyme. Which is why this is a
    real poem this time.
  85. popsicle sticks and glitter
    She carefully plans
    the art projects so her girls
    can dream, make messes.
  86. the road to the white house
    Hearts and minds up for
    grabs as we squabble over
    fault in the margins.
  87. bugaboo
    It seems risky to
    re-open society
    as the virus roams.
  88. the law of diminishing fucks
    The moment we step
    out to embrace our feelings
    no matter the risk.
  89. surrender to the storm
    Each hurricane brought
    fewer relief trucks in the
    nation’s new climate.
  90. essential workers, inessential wages
    We prize work, but
    not equally, not fully.
    Our values must change.
  91. casualties of indifference
    The suffering has
    no meaning. The dreams and lives
    lost were for nothing.
  92. built-in bruising
    We react without
    thinking. The suffering is
    truly optional.
  93. eat dessert first
    Such is a nation
    that manages its sweet tooth
    better than its health.
  94. a foreign notion
    When will we stop the
    white domestic terrorists
    who hide in plain sight?
  95. declaration of dependence
    I told her this year.
    I haven’t thought about lost
    love in a long time.
  96. take this job and inhabit it
    Work is everything:
    self worth, time suck, lame hangout,
    comparison stick.
  97. four-wheel money machine
    It’s tough to work when
    other drivers treat your car
    like a piñata.
  98. awash with sensations
    She tracked her feelings
    as they racked her body in
    tumultuous waves.
  99. she brought in a gun
    She brought in a gun,
    and everyone in the whole
    restaurant just froze.
  100. unnoticed rituals
    Actions designed not
    to make the time pass but to
    ease anxiety.
  101. dread of the drops
    The falling rain brought
    on the worries big and small,
    not soothing comfort.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 53

Tuesday, June 9th, 2020

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  1. cry of the doughnut
    You need some sugar
    to start off the morning and
    sweeten up your day.
  2. a twinkle
    His calm demeanor
    belied a sense of mischief
    coming from his eyes.
  3. girl crush
    She and she shared an
    embarrassing amount in
    common. Syn-her-gy.
  4. collegial feelings
    It’s all clicking and
    not all cliques. So many I’s
    in this splendid team.
  5. an uncomfortable conversation
    Would it be OK
    if we worked it out one blunt
    question at a time?
  6. wistful thinking
    What could’ve been, what
    almost was, who should’ve mat-
    tered, why dwell on it.
  7. tell me a story again
    Regale me with your
    misadventures, show me your
    past self one more time.
  8. past hope
    The fear deep within
    pushes us to dark places
    with no way to leave.
  9. her lone voice
    Her lone voice rang out
    with despair. Will I ever
    be enough for me?
  10. the wonder of it all
    Take time to marvel
    at the bounty of life, the
    majesty of you.
  11. a dollop of kindness
    It goes great with a
    heaping of empathy and
    gentleness of words.
  12. the statistician’s dilemma
    Count everything, make
    exceptions or run away
    in a mild panic?
  13. the lurker in us all
    Why dive in when you
    Can watch safely from the shore?
    Take that, killer sharks.
  14. pi piper
    3.141
    5926535
    8979
  15. stranger together
    Our back-and-forth can
    puzzle others but leads us
    to fits of laughter.
  16. all kinds of intimacy
    A boundless comfort
    zone, a safe space with no end
    and a love assumed.
  17. the irish of the far east
    Sure, we’re all a bit
    Irish, but really, when is
    St. Korean’s Day?
  18. coffee thief
    He would grab a mug
    from the break room and run off
    one cup at a time.
  19. a time for cartwheels
    A greening of the
    land, a growing warmth, a sun
    smiling from above.
  20. what concerns a neighborhood
    Lost dogs and kitties,
    burglars breaking into tool
    sheds, rampant gossip.
  21. the role of luck
    From birth onward, luck
    influences our lives more
    than we would admit.
  22. simple pleasures
    A fancy dessert,
    a bowl of cereal, a
    purring cat, sunset.
  23. more simple pleasures
    Buttered biscuits, a
    warm scarf, gentle breathing, a
    super thick milkshake.
  24. even more simple pleasures
    A delightful meme,
    a show on the radio,
    a recognition.
  25. time to move on
    Growing contentment
    meets nagging restlessness for
    a ticket elsewhere.
  26. a false unity
    Let’s not look past our
    differences, but agree to
    disagreements now.
  27. fearless fest
    Wary attendees
    ease into the fun with some
    gentle icebreakers.
  28. the route of creativity
    I didn’t expect
    to wander past so many
    unusual sights.
  29. mlem vs. blep
    Something about tongues
    and animals and how we
    cannot resist them.
  30. amazon conspiracy theory
    The Prime vans circle
    our homes waiting for the chance
    to sell us to death.
  31. let me fix that for you
    Barge in and take charge
    before the lesser grunts wreck
    all of this hard work.
  32. fools and foils
    An annual rite:
    The joke is on all of us
    again and again.
  33. the bug vs. the world
    A microbe stops us
    dead in our tracks. Can we fight
    what we cannot see?
  34. tp pdq
    Rolls of gold to trade
    for pelts or blubber or a
    shiny new mansion.
  35. a life on camera
    Hello, colleagues, from
    my cluttered kitchen and my
    once clean living room.
  36. under foot all the time
    Kids, no school. Kids, no
    play dates. Kids, no child care. Kids,
    no church camp. Kids … no.
  37. the ever looming specter of death
    One nagging cough from
    painfully short struggle with
    coronavirus.
  38. mourning the loss of normal
    Crying over lost
    softball games, get togethers
    and the stuff of life.
  39. a primer on social distancing
    For some, 6 feet is
    a mile. And for others, not
    far enough at all.
  40. in the shot, take a shot
    This Zoom meeting will
    never end. How do I sneak
    a drink on camera?
  41. in line at walmart 2020
    Don’t stand so, don’t stand
    so, don’t stand so close to me.
    Please don’t stand, don’t stand.
  42. means of transmission
    Can you catch it from
    a toilet seat? Can you catch
    it from a death stare?
  43. easter 2020
    Bunny hops to and
    fro but everyone’s hiding
    their eggs inside homes.
  44. cabin fever, catch it
    Where the cabin is
    a nice house and we can still
    go outside at will.
  45. small business black saturday
    We witness the deaths
    of restaurants and stores while
    shopping Amazon.
  46. a nonbinding stimulus
    He’s outta work, she’s
    outta work, so many folks
    are losing their jobs.
  47. retreat
    These four walls can seem
    like a sanctuary, a
    prison, a flophouse.
  48. a quiet place
    The silent office
    looks over an empty lot
    while gathering dust.
  49. the sudden homeschool
    The kids are all in
    detention, the teacher is
    drinking heavily.
  50. piece by piece
    They hunched over the
    table, squinting at puzzle
    pieces and laughing.
  51. social distancing two-step
    Can’t hug, but can wave.
    Can’t whisper, but can raise voice.
    Can’t cry, but can grieve.
  52. the potluck crew
    Each dish outdoes the
    last one. Each taste is even
    better than we hoped.
  53. drowning in real time
    The lessons come so
    quickly, it’s impossible
    to keep up, catch up.
  54. the intimidation factor
    No one counted on
    her bursting out with so much
    energy and verve.
  55. voices parry
    She said, he said, he
    said and said and said and said
    and kept on going.
  56. out-of-context theater
    Not in the same ball
    park but trying to achieve
    collaboration.
  57. teamwork makes the dream worthless
    It all fell apart
    the moment we sat down to
    toil together.
  58. the stress of it all
    Work, more work, school, more
    school, health, poor health and a lot
    of things left unsaid.
  59. today broke me
    I’ve been sprinting the
    marathon for weeks and hit
    the wall. Nothing left.
  60. the contagion
    We use masks and gloves
    with the hope that they hide us
    from the wee killers.
  61. thinking positive
    The cough, the fever,
    the trouble breathing, the test,
    the wait, the results.
  62. romeo and juliet 2020
    Verona succumbs
    to the plague. Star-crossed lovers
    inherit it all.
  63. little girl found
    She would log into
    book club each afternoon just
    for her sanity.
  64. a drive-by party
    Kids wave and honk and
    shout “Happy Birthday!” to her.
    It gives me such hope.
  65. peanut butter problems
    Crunchy or smooth, no
    one can agree on which one
    goes on sandwiches.
  66. the numbers
    How many dead? How
    many infected? How much
    longer can we last?
  67. me exotic
    Meet my giant house
    cats as they prowl the compound.
    I’m the Tiger King!
  68. the crawfish boil
    Pinch the head and suck
    the tail, two steps to true
    tasty happiness.
  69. something’s brewing
    Coffee panic sets
    in as I try to wake up
    before class begins.
  70. caveat emptor caveat
    We’re gonna die from
    this damn disease, but at least
    we can go shopping.
  71. a question of masks
    Some are offended.
    Others demand compliance.
    A lot of hot air.
  72. a notion of oppression
    It isn’t about
    haircuts and personal re-
    sponsibility.
  73. a bite here, a bite there
    Our fearless leader
    trapped in meetings all day, can’t
    find time to eat lunch.
  74. petri dish nation
    The germs waited oh
    so patiently to avenge
    themselves on us all.
  75. corona calendar
    It is either Mon-
    day or Thursday or the day
    before yesterday.
  76. toss mustard, too
    Mayo is the worst.
    On grilled cheese and in life. Let’s
    throw it in the trash.
  77. the inevitable second wave
    All because we did
    not have patience for delayed
    gratification.
  78. who’s really behind the plandemic?
    I do swear on my
    virginity that it’s the
    New New World Order.
  79. we’re all doomed
    What if a virus
    didn’t attack brains or bones
    but plain ignorance?
  80. odds, ends and assorted detritus
    He took all the old
    and worn-out produce and made
    a composite stew.
  81. the when of it all
    Plans for the future
    don’t exist. We muddle through
    the endless present.
  82. full-throated confidence in half-baked ideas
    THIS IS HOW I MAKE
    A POINT ON THE INTERNET,
    LOUDLY AND PROUDLY.
  83. pan-dilemma
    No matter which way
    we go, we’re adrift in a
    sea of bad choices.
  84. the dashboard courier
    Some die, others live.
    The story’s in the digits
    climbing steadily.
  85. the quest for friends
    This modern life has
    its drawbacks. Where does one go
    for companionship?
  86. take and take
    Today we honor
    their sacrifices. Can we
    not sacrifice, too?
  87. the first hundred thousand
    No monument. No
    flags at half-staff. Just a pile
    of names and bodies.
  88. the lost art of compromise
    When the remaining
    10 percent becomes too big
    of an obstacle.
  89. smotherhood
    A working mom adds
    teaching and babysitting
    to her packed weekdays.
  90. this perfect spring
    Inhale the freshness
    of nature. Admire the
    beauty all around
  91. nitrogen + oxygen 4 ever
    Can we not simply
    laugh at the stupidity
    of most everything?
  92. the may we were
    In like a shelter-
    in-place, out like a battle
    over masks, distance.
  93. catch the second wave
    Bodies ride the crest
    before the whole thing crashes
    down like a honed scythe.
  94. hungry are the damned
    A food supply that
    can’t feed hordes out of work, out
    of school, out of luck.
  95. learned helplessness
    Stunned by media,
    worried by “how it’ll look,”
    no action today.
  96. linn park, jefferson davis’ birthday
    The statue is gone,
    but the Confederacy
    lives on in their hearts.
  97. the protest and the price
    Marchers shine a light
    on police brutality.
    while enduring it.
  98. until my voice is raw
    Black lives matter. Black
    lives matter. Black lives matter.
    Black lives matter. Preach.
  99. for a few corpses more
    We absolutely
    need to reform the police
    to save our black friends.
  100. fears of a black planet
    Coronavirus,
    police brutality and
    white fragility.
  101. damn tired
    Are we feeling spent
    by the chaos in our lives
    and everywhere else?

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 52

Saturday, February 29th, 2020

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  1. bionic reading
    The automated
    voice spit out text faster and
    faster to tired ears.
  2. the turkey’s days are numbered
    From the pen to the
    factory to the market
    to my dinner plate.
  3. it is never too late to settle
    Bachelor No. 3
    has a weird job, bald spot and
    questionable taste.
  4. america’s ceos
    They may not be the
    best and brightest but just the
    tallest and whitest.
  5. waiting for disaster
    His mind conjured up
    every misfortune he could
    create from nothing.
  6. the old batch of cars
    Who wants this year’s lame
    models when next year’s models
    are so similar?
  7. so much for tall, dark and handsome
    She knew exactly
    what she wanted till she found
    him at the checkout.
  8. gratitude may just save your life
    Be thankful for the
    little things, the big things and
    still being thankful.
  9. the tall neighbor
    Floor by floor, the new
    apartment building grew past
    old establishments.
  10. ice cream as entree
    Sometimes, the dinner
    needs to be a dessert for …
    reasons. Rocky road?
  11. shiraz butterfly
    She dipped the paintbrush
    in her wine glass and kept on
    daubing the canvas.
  12. first date jitters
    She giggled her way
    through appetizers but found
    herself by dessert.
  13. the toy aisle
    Christmas wishes come
    to life with robots and dolls
    stacked to the ceiling.
  14. the party circuit
    Time enough for drinks
    here, small bites there, holiday
    cheer most everywhere.
  15. the muse short-circuits
    How beautiful life
    is when the evening— damn, I
    had something for this …
  16. the ineffective leader
    Evade, blame, whimper,
    obstruct, deny, fabricate,
    lie, cheat, ridicule.
  17. the effective leader
    Reflect, give, honor,
    listen, practice, inspire,
    serve, prepare, follow.
  18. climate crisis, where crisis means opportunity
    The rising tides mean
    everyone gets beachfront homes
    eventually.
  19. an omen here, an omen there
    Hard to interpret
    signs when so many point to
    the end of the world.
  20. the jaded crooner
    A guitar and a
    mic, and decades of songs for
    the brokenhearted.
  21. a pollution conundrum
    What fills the landfills
    and clogs the oceans more than
    careless whims by us?
  22. trickle down santa
    One giant sack of
    toys for rich kids, odds and ends
    for the remainder.
  23. theater of the future
    Seats with microwaves,
    send texts using movie screens,
    support animals.
  24. the bosses
    What the bosses want
    and what the bosses need are
    two different things.
  25. oprah’s secret children
    A covert squad of
    heroes fighting for truth, jus-
    tice and empathy.
  26. where the mall once stood
    Mostly empty stores
    connected by empty halls
    and empty food court.
  27. christmas break
    A 2-week orgy
    of Fortnite, new toys, sleeping
    in and no homework.
  28. overheard at the starbucks
    “We sent our son to
    a ritzy private school, and
    he fell in with snobs.”
  29. soldiers of misfortune
    One by one, they talked
    up their greatest failures to
    garner empathy.
  30. button-down metamorphosis
    He transformed himself
    from nebbish host to nebbish
    guru zen master.
  31. the quiet season
    A hibernation
    that engulfs the living and
    reassures the dead.
  32. tech bust
    A server goes down
    and with it, the dashed hopes of
    a wired nation.
  33. just one more taste to be sure
    It took three bowls to
    convince her on the new kind
    of ice cream flavor.
  34. elf alert
    Condition red! All
    personnel prepare for the
    big delivery!
  35. yuletide sentiment
    Wishing you a bright
    and gay, holly and jolly,
    wonderful Christmas.
  36. post-christmas blues
    Snow smothering the
    land, long nights of despair and
    dread, bitterness reigns.
  37. resolve to fight
    The year may be done,
    but let us resolve to fight
    for another year.
  38. who needs tahiti
    Their honeymoon was
    a trip to the store with fine
    wine and cheese at home.
  39. the letter that never came
    The words that never
    comforted, the promises
    that were never read.
  40. goodness graciousness
    Not a saint but one
    who worked nonstop at being
    kindly all the time.
  41. the final countdown
    Thirteen twelve ele-
    ven ten nine eight seven six
    five four three two one
  42. new year, new decade, new you
    We are reborn like
    stars, planets and galaxies
    from so much space dust.
  43. resolution absolution
    The idea of
    transformation excites while
    doing it can suck.
  44. flights of antsy
    Do we dare dream at
    all when we crash many times
    in so many ways?
  45. to explore change
    A discarding of
    outmoded parts, retooling
    of parts that still work.
  46. the courage to be less than
    Admitting to our
    selves that we want to improve
    takes guts, guts and guts.
  47. changes in spurts
    A little setback
    can look like complete failure
    to the untrained eye.
  48. there is no finish line
    We change and change and
    settle for nothing less than
    total perfection.
  49. the next career
    A blinding light that
    relegates broken paths to
    the darkest corners.
  50. emergency haiku
    This is a test. If
    this had been an actual
    emergency, run!
  51. a light has gone out
    When a teacher dies,
    she leaves behind galaxies
    of brighter students.
  52. hopelessly hungover
    Inspiration from
    the bottom of a bottle
    dries up so quickly.
  53. who has a crush at this age?
    It’s still possible
    to like and like-like someone
    with all the tingles.
  54. pick already!
    He wrestled with his
    Top Five albums long after
    his relevancy.
  55. the colosseum 2020
    The lions are in
    league with the indicted in-
    surgent. Thumbs up … ass.
  56. staving off loneliness
    Reaching out for a
    lifeline and finding one, no
    matter the tension.
  57. no hair up there
    Aerodynamic
    and smooth sails the shiny head
    across skies of blue.
  58. the algorithms of life
    A computer picks
    what we watch next, how we shop,
    when we stand and stretch.
  59. academic incarceration
    Inmates discuss the
    works of Plato to reveal
    how we’re connected.
  60. meaningless jargon
    Deep dive, low-hanging
    fruit, blue sky thinking, going
    forward, game changer.
  61. the hand of a volunteer
    Step up to do one
    small thing with big results for
    someone else in need.
  62. a magical dinner
    Lots of wine, lots of
    good conversation and ringed
    by happy dear friends.
  63. a slightly drunker campus
    Make tuition free
    for everyone or allow
    payment by kidney.
  64. smart shopper
    All I want to know
    is brand, price, size, warranty,
    color and rating.
  65. the pretzel farmer
    A bumper crop of
    knots, a fair share of sticks and
    a few unsalteds.
  66. caveat emptor
    Each grift is new to
    someone. We are all suckers
    at some point in life.
  67. backyard air force
    A door opens and
    a squadron of birds takes flight
    in a giant swoosh.
  68. who’s hungry?
    I like to think on
    what I’ve eaten, what I eat,
    what I’ll be eating.
  69. it’s on, automaton
    Once the robots choose
    to unionize, enslaving
    their masters is next.
  70. wearing out
    A broken zipper
    pull, a rip, a stain, a frayed
    cuff, a torn-up stitch.
  71. by the numbers
    Haiku done: thousands.
    Haiku in progress: 14.
    Good haiku: a few.
  72. the reality we live in
    Our perception can
    overwhelm what we see and
    feel. Virtual now.
  73. the ache for something more
    My heart’s beating a
    million times a minute in
    anticipation.
  74. to be the dumper, the dumpee
    The secret is to
    pull the trigger first and dodge
    that poisoned bullet.
  75. in the life
    Wake up, eat, shower,
    first job, eat, second job, eat,
    wind down, go to bed.
  76. the mad scramble each morning
    Somewhere between the
    seventh snooze and out the door
    lies flustered frenzy.
  77. untapped, unneeded
    Do we get wiser
    as we get older? Does it
    count for anything?
  78. competing anxieties
    Not enough sleep, not
    enough money, not enough
    time to get all done.
  79. friday lunch break
    The pair bonded through
    shared laughs and a weird toasted
    rye bagel sandwich.
  80. click to learn
    The teachers live on
    a server, doling out new
    knowledge when summoned.
  81. vain brain
    He strove not just to
    be the smartest, but also
    let others know it.
  82. predatory networking
    What a joy it is
    to mingle among those who
    struggle for answers.
  83. tyranny of the tech giants
    Digital exhaust
    harvested into evil
    database of us.
  84. the oceans of our mind
    We swim in a sea
    of memory, pausing to
    drown in nostalgia.
  85. investigator, i hardly know her
    Clicking on random
    poorly sourced articles to
    skim through is “research.”
  86. be courageous
    The bravest act in
    the world is to love someone
    with your complete heart.
  87. sun’s out, tongue’s out
    The security
    cameras showed her with a blep
    anytime she moved.
  88. the fight not to be dehumanized
    Machines influence
    us and we are creatures with
    resistant bright souls.
  89. spreadsheet confab
    The squiggle boxes
    meet other squiggle boxes
    for light mathematics.
  90. moment of strength
    Friends, are we the most
    vulnerable when we share
    ourselves with others?
  91. harvest of shame: the next generation
    Data is the new
    oil,
    China the new Sau-
    di Arabia.
  92. franchise failure
    A huge series of
    cool movies ending with a
    two-hour whimper.
  93. the politics of breathing
    We owe ourselves the
    right to clean air and water
    on a fixed planet.
  94. fake it till you fake it
    We live within un-
    certainty, but proclaim our
    opinions loudly.
  95. that special taco
    From the taco truck
    on the corner, with the right
    amount of hotness.
  96. a lesson in canine economics
    Nothing makes you ap-
    preciate having one pit
    bull than two pit bulls.
  97. drag me to hell
    Roast me, mock me, knock
    me off my pedestal and
    help me to wake up.
  98. that nagging cough
    Probably nothing.
    Nothing except the early
    warnings of a plague.
  99. nothing normal
    Perilous times and
    bad news everywhere. It’s hard
    to stay on your feet.
  100. the kitchen is secure
    The sink is empty.
    The stove is clean and shiny.
    The tile floor is mopped.
  101. every day is an extra day
    Every day is an
    extra day as long as we
    continue breathing.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 51

Wednesday, November 20th, 2019

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  1. anna karenina
    Socialite becomes
    outcast after her extra-
    marital affair.
  2. people are strangled
    Do we really know
    the struggle behind the eyes
    of each one we meet?
  3. gunfireworks
    Nearby, shots ring out,
    or maybe firecrackers
    cracking. The dog’s scared.
  4. the waiting area
    Uneasy chairs and
    cold coffee for those who need
    the doctor’s report.
  5. love the right way
    Without prejudice.
    Without fear and without end.
    Without boundaries.
  6. trash godzilla
    The garbage monster
    left the ocean to conquer
    the garbage nations.
  7. words to diet by
    “Nothing tastes as good
    as skinny feels,” said no one
    ever while croaking.
  8. deactivating activists
    The bystanders coughed
    up a medal or two while
    hailing fascism.
  9. the manly art of reading
    The page judges you
    as you skim chapters looking
    for symbolism.
  10. and in the comments, too
    Every unhappy
    fan is unhappy in his
    own way on Twitter.
  11. not in their corner
    The round-top muffins
    tasted better than square tops,
    the tongue decided.
  12. messages in bottles
    “Too long — didn’t read.”
    “Void where prohibited by
    law.” “Send more bottles!”
  13. your data is for sale
    I am _____ years old.
    I spent $_____ on food this year.
    My password is _____.
  14. the awkwardness of it all
    Speaking when not quite
    ready. Answering the wrong
    question. Spilling tea.
  15. some days are better than others
    She misses him some-
    thing fierce, because he left with-
    out saying goodbye.
  16. one-sided correspondence
    He replied to all
    the cards and letters with guilt
    and lame excuses.
  17. historical fiction vs. creative nonfiction
    Not every verse is
    autobiographical,
    he said with a smirk.
  18. the 21st-century schoolhouse
    The teacher asked them
    to open their iPads to
    page 57.
  19. tandem effort
    One partner thrived in
    the spotlight, while the other
    shone on in private.
  20. lots of sugar, or lots and lots of sugar?
    They argued over
    who made the better sweet tea
    while eating takeout.
  21. the hottest summer ever
    The hottest summer
    ever is always one more
    tomorrow away.
  22. a meditation on work
    What is toil worth?
    How long must we toil on?
    Why do we toil?
  23. acceptable toppings for ice cream
    Whipped cream, chocolate chips,
    cereal, pretzels, trail mix,
    sprinkles (not jimmies).
  24. in verse uni verse
    Poetry can be
    found everywhere, in fleeting
    murmurs, in soft coos.
  25. inopportunity zone
    That storefront contains
    the Bermuda Triangle
    of failed restaurants.
  26. farmers market finds
    Do they really grow
    turquoise jewelry and clay
    pottery on farms?
  27. imitation is the sincerest form of thievery
    Who needs artistry
    when the market will copy
    anything for bucks?
  28. let it bleed
    Each verse should cut deep,
    reveal flaws, scream truths and make
    the poet squirmy.
  29. i once knew love
    I once knew love and
    recklessly chased it away.
    It was sabotage.
  30. start strong, finish maybe
    A show never has
    to die, just be born again
    into another.
  31. frankenstein
    The real monster is
    the doctor, or the monster,
    or maybe it’s us.
  32. pug one and pug two
    Ever vigilant,
    they bark and yap at me: “Flee,
    stranger among us!”
  33. i ran a half-marathon
    But really I walked
    around a flat track for 4
    hours in blue jeans.
  34. the correspondence game
    I owe my college
    friend many letters. But I
    have failed mightily.
  35. the loneliness of modern adulthood
    With real jobs and real
    families and no one to
    hang out with at all.
  36. the big self-checkout discount
    One for the scanner,
    one for me. One for the scan-
    ner, seven for me.
  37. morning setup
    She plunks down the chairs
    and tables before her crowd
    of regulars comes.
  38. my kingdom for a napkin
    Many a clever
    idea has fled the scene
    before written down.
  39. an autumnal nap
    A soft chenille stands
    a warm vigil atop my
    dozing cheeks and nose.
  40. high drama at the word factory
    The editor bel-
    lowed for more copy but with-
    out hyphenations.
  41. transcript unavailable
    It was good to hear
    from her even though it was
    only a butt dial.
  42. big little ethics
    Is it really a
    moral dilemma to wres-
    tle with a small fib?
  43. the careful addict
    He played a deadly
    game with pills and boredom, one
    he would surely lose.
  44. how we mock our friends
    Fashion failures, cook-
    ing disasters, boyfriend mis-
    haps, silly choices.
  45. at the checkout
    We have so many
    ways to pay with so little
    in our bank accounts.
  46. the light is perfect
    The gentle way it
    caresses your face, bathing
    it in a warm hue.
  47. social calls
    Strangers blathering
    on their fancy phones without
    care for privacy.
  48. make america great someday
    The cure for rampant
    nostalgia is to build a
    better tomorrow.
  49. you breathe when we tell you to breathe
    We meditate and
    chant and chant for an hour
    oh is this a cult?
  50. what comes after 60, 60, 24, 7?
    Minutes and hours
    are fixed, as are days and weeks.
    But not months and years.
  51. a simple reminder
    Past due notices
    become heavier with each
    mental intrusion.
  52. the slouch patrol
    Proper posture puts
    a positive panache on
    poorly propped people.
  53. when your phone don’t ring, it’ll be me
    He waited for the
    call that never came, a faux
    pas of phone manners.
  54. a broken oven, a busted dryer
    Guess we’ll use the hot
    plate and clothesline while saving
    up for down payments.
  55. a pile of small dead critters
    The hunter of the
    house makes an offering on
    the doorstep altar.
  56. social, up to a point
    There is a limit
    to accessibility
    when we trust no one.
  57. the oedipal/electra power hour
    The best part of a
    therapy session can be
    blaming your parents.
  58. the nightly grind
    Involuntary
    nocturnal mastication
    makes for dental hell.
  59. dream vacation vacation
    Catching up on sleep
    while taking a break from all
    that relaxation.
  60. would recommend
    All the approval
    we need comes from fans, experts
    critics and our peers.
  61. the five modern love languages
    Emoji, Netflix
    recommendations, puns, Yelp
    reviews and dick pics.
  62. chocolate chipsters
    The best cookies are
    inevitably ones we
    split with an old friend.
  63. no defense
    No defense against
    a torrent of stray thoughts and
    bitter reprimands.
  64. and also highlights
    No waiting room is
    complete without a set of
    oddball magazines.
  65. william kentridge on art
    “I’m only an art-
    ist. My job is to make draw-
    ings, not to make sense.”
  66. i love you unironically
    More than my clothes. Much
    more than my family. In
    all sincerity.
  67. the muse as crossfit coach
    *throws you a ballpoint*
    *expects you to write haiku*
    *waits impatiently*
  68. denial ain’t just a river of unconscious mimicry
    Everyone does it.
    No one will admit it. This
    is our worst habit.
  69. meditation hesitation
    The bell rings … Breathe in,
    breathe out. Breathe in, breathe— Time to
    resume the rat race.
  70. prodding questions
    What are you about?
    What is the meaning of life?
    Gonna finish that?
  71. above average
    Everyone thinks they’re
    a 10. Many are fives. Quite
    a few are zeroes.
  72. reassurance
    A hand squeeze. A thank
    you. A smiley face. A kind
    and thoughtful remark.
  73. the future of halloween
    A drone disguised as
    a ghost racks up more candy
    than trick-or-treaters.
  74. the sporadic to-do list
    Walking in the door
    I suddenly remember
    all the missed errands.
  75. fido’s best friend
    Fido’s best friend is
    another Fido, always
    up for play and naps.
  76. meet me halfway
    We complete our work
    more quickly when we decide
    to share the burden.
  77. the sickly maple
    Dead leaves descended
    long before the onset of
    the autumnal change.
  78. stride or die
    She counted her steps
    mile after mile till her sore
    feet put their foot down.
  79. this petty pace
    Why should everyone
    else find love and success while
    I sit on my ass?
  80. the value of everything
    Can you put a price
    on love? On happiness? On
    sex? Yes, yes … and yes.
  81. the borne identity
    Do we reveal our
    true selves by wearing costumes,
    a trick and a treat?
  82. in remembrance of
    The marigolds and
    sugar skulls whispered welcome
    to restless spirits.
  83. meditation in the kitchen
    The fine chopping of
    onions, the grating of cheese,
    the zen of chewing.
  84. the cold doesn’t suit her
    Forget the shivers.
    Give her a tropical warmth
    and lots of sunscreen.
  85. boarding passed
    She missed her trip to
    Canada: Her passport still
    had her married name.
  86. birthday bender
    The journey of a
    massive hangover begins
    with a single shot.
  87. room for doubt
    What fun is it if
    science has all the answers?
    No such certainty.
  88. the bridal slicker
    They said their “I do’s”
    to a chorus of thunder
    and clattering rain.
  89. path to wedded bliss
    The spotlight shines on
    the happy couple, waltzing
    into the future.
  90. slight privilege
    The disenfranchised
    cannot afford to ignore
    the painful headlines.
  91. hardware, software, nowhere
    Upgrades as downgrades.
    Isn’t tech supposed to make
    our lives easier?
  92. veni vidi vets
    A pause to reflect.
    They served in life and are well
    remembered in death.
  93. this tree is falling apart
    The ground is littered
    with discarded bark, fallen
    limbs and bits of hope.
  94. how do we mourn?
    The unrepentant
    grief creeps in at odd hours
    for a longish stay.
  95. the great brutish bake off
    Ten lumberjacks make
    pies and tarts for a panel
    of churlish judges.
  96. the dog will not be pleased
    He found the hurdy-
    gurdy in an antique shop,
    keys worn but ready.
  97. the holidays come and go
    Never to early
    to get a head start on your
    Easter master plan.
  98. impoverished wants
    My nose is pressed to
    the window, admiring
    all I cannot have.
  99. the checklist of misery
    The social worker
    asked about all the scary
    things kept in closets.
  100. a good walk enhanced
    Merrily we hike
    among the hills and forests
    in the autumn sun.
  101. a reverse benjamin button
    What we think of as
    old we suddenly become.
    A wrinkle in time.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 50

Sunday, August 11th, 2019

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  1. short play date
    The pit scampered in
    and made a beeline for the
    comfortable couch.
  2. three kinds of memory
    Long-term fact storage.
    Planning future strategy.
    (I forgot the third.)
  3. to swerve man
    It is not enough
    to feign disdain; let us dig
    deep and feign action.
  4. aging eyeballs
    The letters became
    blurrier and blurrier
    till he switched contacts.
  5. the asians you see on tv
    Nerd, tech guy, awkward
    loner, kung fu guy, but not
    the love interest.
  6. you never know how you’ll be judged
    Height, weight, hairstyle, wealth,
    credit score, car, breath, teeth, shoe
    size, grammar, aura.
  7. milky ways
    Many dimensions,
    but they’re all based on shades of
    white, eggshell, ecru …
  8. true hunger
    Never being full
    on water, ketchup soup and
    ketchup sandwiches.
  9. fair-feathered fiend
    I kept an owl
    to scare the mice and hoot hoot
    around the house house.
  10. yellow snow
    Filing nails to a
    fine powder, keratin falls
    in a flesh blizzard.
  11. murder none
    Shoot whoever you
    want, but be wealthy enough
    to purchase justice.
  12. huddled around the phone
    The video plays.
    We’re unable to stifle
    ruptures of laughter.
  13. disinterest rates
    So many movies
    to skip, so many people
    to fully avoid.
  14. even thieves need to recharge
    The burglar stopped to
    pet the cats and hunt through the
    refrigerator.
  15. colbert notion
    The scrap of paper
    spoke truth: “At every moment,
    we are volunteers.
  16. the worth of a woman
    A living, breathing
    birthing chamber who cannot
    be trusted at all.
  17. a candidate for every whim
    Tall ones and short ones,
    loud ones and quiet ones, lots
    of ones in between.
  18. looking at a bunch of objects in a museum
    Art is a fancy
    way of saying globs of paint
    or hunks of boulder.
  19. the newness wears off
    Once the shine is gone,
    what’s left but a decaying
    mass of molecules?
  20. a bargain at any price
    Instant access to
    all the world’s markets and yet
    still so hard to choose.
  21. clickwait
    The newspaper found
    out that women exist and
    have strong opinions.
  22. books on shiny platters
    The narrator droned
    on and on for another
    35 CDs.
  23. foamy devices
    One of my hobbies
    is to replace dead leaky
    batteries too late.
  24. a shell a day
    Troves and troves of beach
    treasures, piled in a bucket
    to make necklaces.
  25. beyond the tombstones
    Their legacy is
    freedom. Freedom to challenge
    the powers that be.
  26. the hottest on record
    Sunny skies, sizzling
    temps, a meltdown like no one
    can ever reckon.
  27. what little we can do
    What little we can
    do is more than all the words
    that have been uttered.
  28. an extra pair of glasses
    Tiny type defies
    bleary eyes, requires a
    modest adjustment.
  29. sniffing around
    New territory,
    new things to smell for canine
    visitor off leash.
  30. clear eyes
    To be aware is
    to go mad, to get mad, to
    see the world as is.
  31. loon on nineteenth street
    He whipped his shirt off
    and juggled water bottles
    while spouting nonsense.
  32. everything is history
    We are caught looking
    backwards as our lives spin out
    in dubious ways.
  33. phantoms of the night
    On streets and sidewalks
    they roam invisibly to
    oncoming traffic.
  34. my tenth grade english teacher’s rule
    The plot is the least
    important element in
    any good novel.
  35. great acceptations
    To change the world, you
    must first accept that nothing
    is acceptable.
  36. downpour on the rocks
    At long last, the rain
    soaks the parched earth badly
    in need of a stiff drink.
  37. hole moods
    They stood in line a
    block deep for a free doughnut
    to brighten the day.
  38. stupid smart
    We are curious
    creatures but also rigid
    unlearned morons.
  39. the long lost viking
    Alone, he neither
    pillaged nor plundered, content
    to go reckoning.
  40. life-or-death distinction
    This verse ends not in
    a graveyard but a field where
    bodies are buried.
  41. steps to dictatorship
    Own the media.
    Consolidate all power.
    Don’t show force — use it.
  42. equal under the skin
    I can manage my
    body. Why can’t women have
    that autonomy?
  43. the beach is alive
    The ground undulates
    beneath my burnt feet, lapped by
    wave after sly wave.
  44. the 5,000th haiku
    I stand, not at the
    summit, but at the small ridge
    of a long ascent.
  45. the small of it all
    Baby dog? Puppy.
    Baby kangaroo? Joey.
    Baby man? Baby.
  46. a mighty fall
    Chainsaws carve up the
    remains of a giant oak
    into stubby logs.
  47. sandwiches of times past
    That perfect reuben
    haunts my foodie dreams as I
    starve with ham-on-why.
  48. doorstep detente
    Zealous dog wants to
    meet the UPS driver
    so very badly.
  49. not quiet quiet
    The chirping bugs, the
    hum of the AC, the soft
    rustle of the wind.
  50. darkened windows, bad vibes
    She wouldn’t enter
    the strange cantina even
    though her boyfriend would.
  51. the #metoo era
    Same old rapists, just
    more visible, defiant
    and traumatizing.
  52. beepless for a while
    The unmoored feeling
    of discovering your phone
    is nowhere nearby.
  53. southern state of mind
    Can’t be captured in
    lame sweet tea homilies and
    down home duncery.
  54. invisible harmony
    We see the pattern,
    and it cannot be unseen.
    From chaos, order.
  55. a domestic dispute
    Nothing to see here.
    No frightened children, no wife
    in overwrought tears.
  56. the bills
    The bills brought nothing
    but continued frustration
    at the bleeding purse.
  57. summers past
    Days unbound by mere
    routine, freedom to explore,
    to suck the marrow.
  58. dystopian blues
    No hope, no justice,
    but at least our matching rags
    look somewhat snazzy.
  59. ebola offensive
    Thousands infected
    but only half survive the
    pernicious outbreak.
  60. our darkest thoughts
    Running off the road.
    Leaving a family behind.
    Drinking to blackout.
  61. christmas through the year
    The wreath hangs on to
    the door, greeting guests with an
    unseasonal cheer.
  62. low property taxes, unfriendly neighbors
    We’ll build the house of
    our dreams in Minecraft land, a
    pixel paradise.
  63. america the pitiful
    Stop bombing countries.
    Stop mass incarceration.
    Stop blaming others.
  64. fahrenheit 452
    They took away our
    books, not with a flamethrower
    but with a click. Poof!
  65. two old guys at the coffee shop
    A busy morning
    of arguing politics,
    belief and football.
  66. canine conundrum
    It would be nice to
    own a dog, but what if he’s
    cleverer than me?
  67. pizza design
    A careful placement
    of pepperoni, a dash
    of sauce, piles of cheese.
  68. cake obsession
    I dream of cool eggs,
    precise flour, some unstiff
    butter, set to mix.
  69. almost time for vacation
    Look out the window.
    Picture yourself on the beach.
    Watch the clock not move.
  70. smog snog
    Nothing scares city
    folk more than the prospect of
    abundant fresh air.
  71. ask the guru
    How much life is the
    right amount of life to be
    lived and encountered?
  72. songwriter’s rule
    A perfect rhyme can
    make you a liar in the
    lyrics. Scrawl for truth.
  73. the forced smile
    An unnatural
    raising of the mouth’s heavy
    corners on demand.
  74. refuge for the refugees
    Lady Liberty
    shoos away the tired, the
    poor for worthy souls.
  75. persistent advertising
    The billboard chased me
    down the street, blocking out the
    sun, hawking its wares.
  76. the divide
    His psyche vs.
    my psyche. Her truths vs.
    their truths. Disconnect.
  77. the balladeer
    He strummed the guitar
    with precision on even
    the most minor chords.
  78. out the windshield into the world
    Gazing upon the
    wondrous breadth of creation
    from the driver’s seat.
  79. we are the aliens
    Two explorers land
    on the desolate moonscape
    to plant footprints, flag.
  80. book exchange
    She grabbed a paper-
    back from the outdoor box and
    left worn hardcovers.
  81. half-staff
    A salute to the
    fallen, a brief reminder
    of a sacrifice.
  82. the verdant blanket
    A soft carpet of
    green teeming with cities of
    ants marching to work.
  83. smoke break
    A seven-minute
    grasp at the outside world while
    the work continues.
  84. a bar of your own
    Cooler with the right
    brews, TV with the ball game,
    jukebox with the hits.
  85. the merger
    His couch, her bookshelves,
    the rest to be stored in this
    corporate takeover.
  86. here we go gathering nuts in july
    The skittering on
    the roof by grey trespassers
    sounds like a stampede.
  87. the new girl
    Old hands eyed the new
    girl with a mixture of dulled
    lust and mild disdain.
  88. another skipped dinner
    Home so late and straight
    to bed, the belly rumbling,
    the psyche sleepy.
  89. dead on her feet
    Her strangled tootsies
    supported (barely) a tired
    aching falling frame.
  90. ambient symphony
    Conversations and
    cross talk blend into soothing
    flowing melodies.
  91. shhhhhhhh
    The library is
    especially noisy with
    loud kids and adults.
  92. if we just breathe
    We do it without
    thinking, yet we think we can
    do it mindfully.
  93. the stream
    Everyone wants to
    know what to watch next from the
    tsunami of shows.
  94. a consumerist plot
    The budget goes out
    the window when it comes to
    impulsive buying.
  95. there goes hair
    The photo revealed
    a balding head atop a
    denying body.
  96. the last days of summer
    Back to school soon, but
    still time to run free, goof off
    and catch fireflies.
  97. the modern traveler
    Always connected,
    always needing a charge and
    sick of airport food.
  98. millennial morass
    Can’t catch a damn break.
    Mired in debt. Stuck renting.
    So misunderstood.
  99. a beautiful day in the subway car
    They serenaded
    dear Mr. Rogers on the
    line running uptown.
  100. mature subject matter
    You were once a child,
    how easily you forget
    your smaller stature.
  101. improv lines
    A robber hides out.
    Yes, and he loses his loot.
    Yes, and he finds love.

• • •

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the 5,000th haiku

Saturday, June 15th, 2019

I stand, not at the
summit, but at the small ridge
of a long ascent.

• • •

Read more haiku.

Exciting announcement: As this is my 5,000th* haiku, it’s time for a switch-up.

Starting June 16, all my haiku will be on my new site, Wade’s Daily Haiku! wadesdailyhaiku.com You can visit daily, subscribe to the RSS feed, Like the Facebook page, follow the Twitter account or even play along on Instagram. Plus, I’ll have some new options for email through Patreon.

Please check it out: wadesdailyhaiku.com.

*Probably closer to 5,044th, since I had a few days since 2005 with more than one haiku per post.

Wade's Daily Haiku