Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 61
By Wade Kwon- my whole life is kayfabe
Feuding with people
who aren’t involved, aligning
with heels and faces. - last days of high school
One final goodbye
to teachers and classmates who
shared this adulting. - house shopping 2022
Make crazy offers,
waive the inspection, and still
lose to investors. - acidic aspirations
Take psilocybin
and conquer the fear of death
while tripping big balls. - the right number of exclamation points
Hello! It’s good to
meet you!! And a period
to show I’m not nuts. - election time in alabama
The kooky battle
to go further right than your
distinguished rivals. - three is a tragic number
Ten years ago, the
Birmingham News chose to give
up and publish less. - the coming of summer
Clean out the pool, try
on your swimsuit, and prepare
for the hottest days. - dear graduates 2022
We broke the world so
you’d have something to fix in
your ample spare time. - specs appeal
New eyeglasses for
a new look: suave, stunning and
sophisticated. - “you don’t look your age”
The compliment from
the pharmacist’s assistant
made my day complete. - a saturday offline
Mother and daughters
united over a day
without noisy screens. - in remembrance
We spend a day to
honor the fallen, the brave
ones who gave their all. - disease-free summer
Let’s hope the boosters,
masks and distancing pay off
in the next season. - nice is not the same as kind
Worth pondering while
sizing up people around
us and their motives. - mycelial networking
Competing trees share
sun and minerals through an
underground network. - circle the block
Walking the same stretch
every day and looking for
what we missed before. - gimme one of everything
The candy store stocked
a myriad of sweet treats
and delicacies. - cult of productivity
Don’t let a minute
slip away without wringing
some work outta it. - feeling useless
Overprepared and
underused, a wan combo
holding workers back. - affirm gesture
He would tell himself
in the mirror, “I am great,
and I am special.” - parallel parking: the musical
♫ Where oh where can I
park? There’s a spot! Can I fit?
Will I hit the cur-r-r-r-r-r-rb? ♫ - the ethical parker
Take up only one
space. Don’t back in. Wait till the
gate is fully clear. - ammosexuals
Ammosexuals
brandish lethal weapons as
the bodies pile up. - a dish of copypasta
The digital screed
made its way through the forums
hungry for violence. - four holes
Her mouth left her in
writhing agony, defanged
of her wisdom teeth. - the unkempt neighbor
The place next door has
an abundance of weeds and
a rickety porch. - lake life
Sitting on the dock,
legs dangling, watching the boats
churn through the water. - the littlest crazies
The youngest face down
anxiety, depression
and bouts of self harm. - cobblestone nightmare
Jostling teeth loose while
bumping along a million-
year-old unpaved road. - the burden of paying down the burden
The mountain of debt
shrinks payday to payday, with
something left to spend. - city on the grow
She felt the stirring
of civic pride and planned to
move away quickly. - bus stops of the future
Sleek design meets queued
riders ready to board their
civic chariot. - the gelato shop on the cobblestone street
Kids pressed their noses
to the window, trying to
decide which flavor. - summer to-dos
Lounge around the pool,
catch fireflies in a jar,
nap in a hammock. - the secret girlfriend
He didn’t tell his
friends that he was dating and
found someone special. - in case of situational anxiety
Go rigid throughout
the body, unable to
take in what’s coming. - ducking the shooter
She dipped her hands in
her friend’s blood to paint herself
and lay very still. - green card blues
They married for love
and citizenship, ready
to pass any test. - learning to eat again
We deal with food, a
necessity but sometimes
a fierce enemy. - trek to the cahaba lilies
Wading the river
to see glorious blooms while
they’re still in season. - sweaty chores
The humidity
pours out of us as we work
outside this summer. - petty patrol
We keep score for so
long we forget what it was
that riled us before. - regions field, sixth inning
A hot dog and a
taco raced around the field
to the cheers of fans. - the wooden chimes
Swaying stems, the wind
playing those bamboo trees in
nature’s symphony. - nineties and hundreds
Air conditioners
unable to match summer
blasts of brutal heat. - long walks to nowhere
Six thousand steps or
two-and-a-half miles on the
treadmill, one hour. - freedom for me but not for thee
This land is your land,
this land is not my land, this
land was made for you. - nine-month sentence
Women, guilty or
innocent, can face the same
time for the same “crime.” - worrying 9 to 5
On-the-job stress that
grows with each shift, a pressure
that’s unrelenting. - the world games in birmingham
Masters of discount
sports assemble for friendly
competitiveness. - the pause
Before suffering,
before mindless anarchy,
we take a moment. - deliberately forward
Bravery is the
act of putting one foot in
front of the other. - but never tennis
The treads worn smooth by
years of pacing and walking,
shuffling and running. - the chores that never seem to get done
Better put them off
till next week, or next month, or
next season. They’ll keep. - long message service
Their texting thread wound
through breakups and meet-cutes, past
heartaches and wonders. - the missing geese
The feathered fiends were
nowhere to be found in the
sprawling city park. - indifference vs. inert
No forward motion
and no incentive. Versus
unable to move. - no cover fridays
I’d rather converse
than listen to the band, trade
words than hear the beats. - stood up
She had some place to
be better than our late date,
as if she’s all that. - magnanimity 2022
They planned to shelter
homeless in plywood ovens
in the scorching sun. - ode to a fruit pie
Apples and sugar
melded in a thin pastry
inside its wrapper. - the runaway tooth
One fang among the
many set off on its own
despite group pressure. - tension up high
I feel anxious more
than ever and all throughout
my poor old body. - no candle blower outers
Delight in the grand
fortunes of others and have
them delight in yours. - ridiculously consistent
The patterns emerge:
Why be somewhat consistent
when you can be all? - coming into your own
Learning to be your-
self. Standing up for yourself.
Being true to you. - one bruised toenail
The feet survived the
new walking routine except
for one bruised toenail. - boy meets girl, something something something
One good thing about
seeing movies high is not
caring how it ends. - the click
Suddenly it all
makes sense. Everything just falls
into place like so. - mandatory fun is mandatory
Despite carefree smiles,
corporate dictates insist on
fun no matter what. - heat is the true killer
Forget tornadoes
and blizzards, heat is the true
killer among men. - the protests must go on
The patriarchy
belches. So foul the stench that
we must cry out more. - the parking did them in
The concert was great,
but the escape was blocked on
all sides by traffic. - the pool
She rode atop the
salty waves for a slice of
her backyard heaven. - a furious hush
The madder he got,
the quieter he became,
seething in silence. - one small selfie for man
They posed in front of
a rocket, and you could see
the stars in their eyes. - who’s in charge of what?
He’s in charge of the
grill and tires. She’s in charge
of everything else. - chill vibe
Not too busy, not
too loud, just an evening of
soft music and words. - boned appetit
This state taxes food,
not for the revenue but
out of danged sheer spite. - an inherited problem
The bosses stuck him
on an out-of-the-way team,
hoping for … something. - the drone
On and on he went,
pausing not for breath or for
reply, endlessly … - her eyes gave it away
As she waited on
tables, she hoped no one would
see how high she was. - studying psychedelics
On the precipice
of exploring creation
and total being. - death of summer
No more late night game
tournaments, no more hanging
out around the pool. - first day of class
Pencils sharpened, shoes
tied, lunches packed. Everyone
have a good school year! - 2-d hollywood
The cardboard cutouts
stood ready to glamorize
modest mundane lives. - headlines and tan lines
The Facebook news tab
is the standard mix of tech
stocks and Page 3 Girls. - duolingo, but make it geeky
He tried his best to
learn from the book, practicing
his new coding skills. - working stiffed
Stop with the “look at
me.” You don’t get a cookie
for doing your job. - what not to teach
History. Facts. Sex
ed. Critical Race Theory.
Science. Deep thinking. - modern horoscopes
Turn off your ringer
and crawl back in bed, Pisces.
He ain’t texting you. - weaponized vocabulary
Her words cut deeply,
making her loathsome point oh
so sarcastically. - the telescope a million miles away
Peering into space,
looking back billions of years
to our origins. - monkeypox see, monkeypox do
We have already
weathered one pandemic, what’s
another disease? - marvel, phase 8
Ninety episodes,
19 movies, three concerts
and five new theme parks. - no one stood up
The city cut the
library budget, leaving
no choice but to close. - the perfect patriarchy
It is not enough
to own women. We must smash
their free will as well. - matrix of deception
From the shadows they
pulled the strings. No one could find
them, much less stop them. - the bully
At times, I have been
the bully. And at times, the
bullied. Choose wisely. - the bearable heat
The AC couldn’t
decide between too cold and
too hot. Lukewarm days.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101.
Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.
Subscribe via RSS to Wade’s Daily Haiku.













