Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 60
By Wade Kwon- smoke break, winter edition
Bundle the fuck up
for a 5-minute sojourn
by the back entrance. - use the good china today
Candles, wines, cigars,
gift cards, linens … break them all
out and use them up. - poetic instant analysis
Scanning the lines for
wordplay and symbolism,
tripping on meter. - hearing the words of the verse
A melodic burst
of syllables, a brief hush
of understanding. - feminist turned misogynist
Once a hero, now
a goat. Made us believe he
was part of the cause. - modern valentines 1
Please accept these terms
and conditions as shown to
be my valentine. - modern valentines 2
Swipe right, hey gurl, a
few suggestive emoji,
pre-date, confirmed date. - modern valentines 3
A non-binary
throuple with hints of poly
and no jealousy. - cupid 2022
Arrows tipped with love
potion and double dose of
Moderna vaccine. - ultimate poker face
Remarkable self-
poise, or the last one ever
before dropping dead. - the whitest supremacy
The thought police do
kindly request that books by
black authors be banned. - the great resignation
What happens when a
society finds out the
true value of work? - no time for breathing
He practiced a form
of keen mindfulness that ran
on autopilot. - dog in training
Learning to beg and
roll and sit and come and stay
for praise and biscuits. - with facebook, your junk is someone else’s treasure
I gave away a
20-year-old TV set
in just 2 hours. - technical(ly) gibberish
(It’s not exactly
gibberish since very smart
people make it work.) - make it awkward
Share too much, dance in
front of a crowd, and swipe right
on people you know. - dry month
Lock up the liquor
cabinet and throw away
the six-packs of beers. - impossible choices
How do we weigh the
science and economics
when we failed them both? - jetting off to paris
Ah, to spend the week
with haute cuisine and sublime
music, living well. - interactive artscapes
When the artist and
audience connect over
social media. - the swear jar
Clean up language through
fiscal remuneration
by violation. - the beauties of space
An uncle and his
nephew bond over the worlds
they might see someday. - a problem for future me
Let’s go the cheap route
and have the consequences
play out however. - do we do it for the gratitude?
Is it so much to
ask for a “thank you” or does
that corrupt motives? - world war 3
A nuclear power
invades a sovereign land.
It’s almost midnight. - mind games
Conservatorships
can safeguard the mentally
ill or make things worse. - guess the copay
This doctor’s visit
will cost me 40 bucks or
200 dollars. - the laziest of friends
They might text, they might
meet up, they might share some laughs.
But probably not. - the courage to sing
Approach the front of
the stage, take a deep breath and
let out that first note. - a gentle reminder
Be brave enough to
(if stuck in complacency)
suck at something new. - the revival of book burnings
Destroy empathy
by setting aflame those cursed
books that inflame hearts. - the mid-morning nap
A brief siesta
to prep the body for lunch
and afternoon drudge. - the medical bill nightmare
To pay thousands for
drugs again and again or
face an early grave. - the indoor garden
The special lamps bring
sunshine to the wisps of plants
stretching in comfort. - recreational high
Out of commission
for a few hours as the
brain relaxes all. - the forever loan
The most expensive
cap and gown ever ensures
this cumbersome debt. - so saucy
Irreverent imps
seize control of staid placid
psyches to spread mirth. - in reddit we trust
Online gossips vote
up (or down) sordid rumors
for entertainment. - pet conspiracy theories
Believe what you will,
but know that still crazier
ideas take root. - the nine days of spring break
Celebrating a
week of uninterrupted
fun and/or mischief. - the mating call of the fox
The back yard echoes
with passionate cries from some
wild bushy-tailed freaks. - the pleasures of an incubating season
Days grow warmer and
longer as winter goes in-
to hibernation. - paperworked
This pile to be filed.
This pile to be shredded. This
pile to be eaten. - hiber nation
A modern stupor
brought about by always-on
screens in all venues. - an appropriate dosage
With Girl Scout cookies,
one box equals one serving.
Yes, one measly box. - bulletproof
Backpack shields and drills
for days … nothing to disarm
potential shooters. - summer of soul
When Harlem lit up
with a galaxy of stars
all on one big stage. - the fix
Just one more. That’ll
make it all right. Can’t function
till it’s in my hands. - to the shredder
Old phone records, scads
of brochures and legal junk,
reams of paper dross. - presence and presents
They’re instructed to
come empty handed yet they
bear gifts just the same. - far or fiyah
Success depends on
whether “fire” has just one
or two syllables. - hiking with six eyes
Their cameras came out
for engrossing foliage
and weirdly shaped rocks. - staffing shortages and other delights
Every time I ask
for “no mayo,” the sandwich
arrives with mayo. - not in a joking mood
Troubled times leads to
an absence of whimsy while
the whole world burns down. - back to reading
The absolute joy
of holding a book and thumbing
through its rough pages. - a chapter a day
Devouring this
book in nightly sessions while
boredom falls away. - the re-creative process
Reading old poems
and thinking “How did that thing
come out of my brain?” - eye candy for the neighbors
What good is having
the house painted when you can’t
see it from inside? - scrape scrape scrape scrape
Washing isn’t all.
You have to scrape and scratch each
square inch of old paint. - no one notices
Not the couple at
the bar. Not the cyclist in
the street. Just no one. - the hypnotic scroll
I can’t turn away
from the endless options to
watch, like and subscribe. - return of the cold war
Powers clash over
dueling ideologies
and outdated slights. - threats of a madman
A huge fortune to
protect no matter the cost
to the citizens. - the public in public health
Endless cycles of
mandated masks. The lesson
is to never try. - the pollening
Yellow dust swirling
everywhere, sinuses in
total misery. - instant dissatisfaction
When you click on “Buy,”
but the shipping won’t happen
for 6 to 8 weeks. - how to binge
Theme song. Episode.
Closing credits. Repeat. Move
on to the next show. - my montage
Clock in. Do my job.
Clock out. Eat my dinner. Read
a book. Go to bed. - writing in the sky
Her hands and arms and
face telegraphed ancient thoughts
in potent fashion. - coming out party
Once dead and newly
risen, he appears for his
heavenly reward. - return to office
Taking the last 2
years of struggle and success
and forgetting them. - talking type
An lol, an
ikr and a couple
of hbu’s, too. - confronting a fear
Saying aloud the
parts that have me confounded
and begging for help. - first date at a wine bar
I haven’t laughed so
hard in a long time and been
able to relax. - the grownup party
All the little ones
wanted to do was stay up
late and play some games. - the grownup party part 2
All the older ones
wanted to do was converse
deeply and drink rum. - best buds everywhere
A forest stroll shows
off the fragrant flowers just
coming into bloom. - addicted to illegals
A cop show for just
anyone and everyone
who has eyeballs, pulse. - keys to literary success
Start slowly to draw
the reader in, go faster,
end on a climax!! - get the grill ready
Dump out the ashes
and scrape the gunk off the grill.
Ready for some meats. - even drummers get the love
When rock stars die, fans
mourn them all, especially
those who smashed things hard. - an audience of one or two
No matter how small
the following, to give it
all you’ve got each time. - slipping into the ether
A heaviness falls
and thoughts and steps slur in a
bumble of nonsense. - the sacrifices for barbecue
Working the pit at
four in the morning, tending
those meats carefully. - the 50-year-old dad
He could still give some
piggyback rides while saving
for their college funds. - lazy man’s pancakes
Forget the milk and
eggs, just remember to add
the baking powder. - the promise of work ahead
Her eyes lit up at
the prospect of remaining
busy through the week. - hello and goodbye
The introvert slips
in for a quick appearance
before sneaking out. - keeping tabs
A browser straining
under the weight of dozens
of open websites. - canines come and go
The bad dog mom keeps
her nail appointment while her
mutt’s in surgery. - groaning for juice
Phones should wail each time
their batteries run down so
we know they’re in pain. - laundry for beginners
Trying to wash clothes
with differing instructions
and rules in one load. - the kilimanjaro effect
Almost to the top,
freezing like never before,
gasping in thin air. - gesturing stream of consciousness
So fluent in sign
language that he could ramble
carelessly with hands. - out of the mouths of rubes
Cancel culture? More
like consequence culture for
lousy opinions. - the need for checks in 2022
To pay only the
landscaper because Venmo
charges a small fee. - rank ’em
Destination spots.
“Cheers” episodes. Power tools.
Vanilla ice creams. - the many uses of cereal
Breakfast, snack, ice cream
topping, dessert bars, hiding
spot for toys, fiber. - adventures in conscious states
A few milligrams
and the mind is allowed to
slip the grasp of self. - a bookkeeper’s place
A running tally
of numbers numbers numbers
which must all add up.
• • •
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