Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 65
By Wade Kwon- not-so-temporary classrooms
Learning in trailers,
an age-old tradition for
overcrowded schools. - the haunted bathroom
The toilet would flush
by itself, because ghosts need
to relieve themselves. - battle of the deplorables
They jabbed in comment
sections and heaped insults on
those they found too “woke.” - rip tina turner
She prowled the stage as
the queen of rock ‘n’ roll no
matter the decade. - the morning pledge
Never too soon to
get the school children voicing
patriotism. - say what, grandma?
She asked if I knew
how to speak the language; I
just shook my head no. - ai ex machina
Dost thou require
sustenance? ERROR ERROR
ARCHAIC LANGUAGE - the tale of the billionaire submarine
Suddenly, their steel
coffin implodes over the
briny ocean floor. - gathering of the neighborhood
They came with chairs and
dishes to celebrate and
watch the fireworks. - mongolian barbecue explained
The chefs take your bowl
of fixins and fry it on
a circular grill. - the summer of leisure
Watch bonfires, play
video games, sleep in and
eat whatever’s there. - plans for the future
Higher learning or
trade school? Move out or stay home?
Get job or study? - flirting with menus
He would text her the
link to restaurants and wait
for her decision. - the ungrateful undead
Elderly dad huffs
at daughter, the volunteer
caregiver for years. - sweat everywhere
On the forehead and
chest, in the pits and butt crack,
dripping dripping wet. - the fallen watermelon
The gourd crashed into
the kitchen floor, leaving chunks
of red everywhere. - punching up, punching down
One is funny, and
the other is scoring laughs
without dignity. - the job no one wanted
They went back and forth,
disagreeing over who
was more qualified. - the alumni gathering
They got off Facebook
long enough to exchange toasts
and share old stories. - i have only my imagination
My brain takes me to
crazy situations and
exotic places. - barry
Hitman turned actor
discovers himself onstage
and can knock ’em dead. - bye bye, braces
Metal contraption
making teeth straighter comes off
with nary a scratch. - party math
Number of guests times
units of food divided
by flavor appeal. - darkest timeline
Doomscrolling poisoned
by suggested followers,
dumb posts, sundry ads. - enshittification of the internet
Build a great product,
then let it rot as they hone
in on short-term gains. - writers’ strike, day 81
Writers have always
struggled with getting fair pay
for all they create. - the struggle to find meaningful work
The job listings run
together in a blur of
keywords and must-haves. - escape to nashville
Head down to Broadway
and check out honky-tonks with
their blaring music. - prescription hassles
Tried mailing it and
faxing it and calling it
in. Just want my drugs. - finding scapegoats
We can’t blame ourselves.
The responsibility
goes to another. - greedflation
When they raise prices
just because they can, it’s a
struggle to get by. - cop city
A police training
site that the people don’t want
in their wooded lot. - wither the absurdist?
We’ll always need a
dose of comedy in some
unexpected ways. - what is the nature of creativity?
Imitation or
originality? Where
does it all come from? - the spend-the-night bag
Pajamas, mouth guard,
book and saline solution
for a night from home. - fifty years of hip hop
Bronx born with rapping,
DJing, graffiti and
break dancing in one. - there’s a better poem here somewhere
First draft needs a lot
of revision to make it
to its final draft. - global boiling
Last month will be the
hottest month ever until
this month breaks records. - hottest trend of the summer
AC repairman
sweats it out each house call as
he brings back coolness. - barbecue wings on wheels
Rolling through the town
to bring lunch options to some
hungry office folk. - who still uses cash?
Cash is king, except
dealing with those coins and bills
ain’t worth the hassle. - who still uses checks?
Let me go find my
checkbook and a pen and write
out the transaction. - roadtrip to atlanta
Watch the clock so we
can time our arrival to
avoid rush hour. - summer sleep schedule
The sheer delights of
staying up late and rising
whenever you choose. - the hottest auditorium
Movie fans sweat it
out for 2 hours in a
room without AC. - school will never be the same again
Who needs thinking when
you have AI to do your
homework in a blink? - the kidnapping that wasn’t
She claimed to see a
baby on the road and led
officers astray. - the unintended consequences
Roe v. Wade is dead,
as are women who have been
denied basic care. - reading round the clock
Plenty of time for
binging and doomscrolling, need
to make time for books. - the comedian’s decline
The punchlines need to
be punchier, lest the laughs
become scantier. - bojack horseman
Former sitcom star
spends his days aimlessly drunk
and melancholy. - even worse than the court of public opinion
The court of public
opinion in the age of
social media. - walking for peace
They traveled from North
to South Korea through the
DMZ gauntlet. - the historymakers
Black notables grant
interviews about their lives
for posterity. - pick a direction!
They agonized for
weeks about the new project.
Deciding was tough. - the external lung
Strap your face into
the silent contraption that
breathes life into sleep. - mostly couples goofing around
A strange assortment
of TikToks and Reels that bring
smiles and make your day. - fun around the pool
Float around with friends,
sipping coladas, swatting
insects, keeping cool. - smoke gets in your eyes
Gas crisis: We choke
on bad air from fires a
continent away. - long distance affair
She ran off to be
with her married lover, just
to end up alone. - a life beyond numbers
Up until this point,
he depended on stats to
manage him daily. - the sleep clinic
Take a bed, get wired
up and go to sleep. In the
morning, some answers. - the goat of mountain brook
Billy scampered to
unknown streets, finding ways to
escape his captors. - ads are everywhere
A flower blossoms.
Try new Metamucil Plus.
The petals shine bright. - an almost concert
The show must go on,
except when the artist is
too sick to perform. - down with patriarchy
Let men run the world,
they said. What could possibly
go awry, they said. - summer’s end
Pack up the swimsuits,
put away the sunblock, get
ready for the fall. - the day the ac died
Sob in horror as
the house transforms into a
gigantic oven. - a billionaire’s whims
Indulge in petty
payback while desperately
trying to seem cool. - mercury northward
Next year, we’ll look back
on this summer as coolest
one in our lifetimes. - kickin’ ass for the working class
Join together and
fight the greedy CEOs
for a bigger slice. - drive-through and through
The big revamp leads
to a restaurant with more
cars, fewer diners. - foodie fantasy
I want to try all
the restaurants, if I can
find them when open. - somebody hates these cans
These cans are begging
to be organized, not just
left there on some shelf. - on forgetfulness
I seem to have lost
track of recent memories,
the scope I don’t know. - have you tried not socializing?
We could go out, or
spend the evening quietly
in our fine jammies. - could’ve sworn it was a parking lot
Before anyone
realized it, a surprise
Waffle House popped up. - did we win the war on terror?
Seems like we gave the
terrorists more reasons to
fight back everywhere. - analysis paralysis
Too many choices
leaves us unable to pick
one among the crowd. - feeling blah
Depression sometimes
lurks as demotivation
to do anything. - painting in the warehouse
A sweaty, dusty
task turning black to white in
several even coats. - on the 60th
Addie Mae, Carole,
Cynthia and Denise, may
they rest in power. - foot-in-mouth disease
Without trying, he
managed to insult most of
the staff. What a dolt. - four indictments
Such is the state of
our democracy when one
leader’s out on bail. - the hidden weight
She refused to step
on a scale, the tyranny
of numbers ended. - atomic nightmare
Unleashing the bomb
has brought us to the brink of
nuclear holocaust. - a day at the cineplex
Warm popcorn and cold
soda, heated seats and fun
fans. Roll the movies! - the overnight guests
They need a respite
from the stuffy abode and
myriad of pets. - lo–fi hip–hop beats to study/relax to
Late into the night,
he pored over his textbooks
looking for answers. - fall is coming
Fall is coming. Fall
is here. Fall is a blessing
each and every year. - gathering in nashville
Four friends hit the town
for musical adventures
and grand fellowship. - birthday boy
He brought his buddies
to the pool where they could swim,
splash and celebrate. - the yelling kind
Screaming rage sets off
my anxiety, a fear
reaction triggered. - withering inspiration
Someday, the muse will
stop dropping by and all things
creative will die. - game show dreams
Let me guess the price
of a waterbed, so I
can win on TV. - people who need church the most
“Jesus was a dang
lib’rul, needs to toughen up
against illegals.” - double duty
Why wash the dishes
before sticking them in the
dishwasher? No clue. - the awful waffle
Small booths and semi-
filthy bar await diners
starving for vittles. - ova here
Hard boiled, over
easy, scrambled, hollandaise,
omelette and just raw. - senior discount
The older you are,
the more you can save by just
being not dead yet. - what is a cult?
A charismatic
leader working on raising
funds and brainwashing.
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