Sculpture garden blasts
DJ’s grooves as ingenues
take summer’s last gasp.

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Aunt Lulu stepped off
the front porch to shoo the stray
dog eating her weeds.

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Misfortunes, mayhem
strike over and over. When
will sad season end?

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Dull gray blanket wraps
tightly around parched landscape
slowly drying out.

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“Hello, cancel my
subscription to beamed-in crack.
I’m snorting Netflix.”

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Our comfortable
existence rarely crosses
paths with downtrodden.

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Beneath yellow-black
bumblebee carcasses lies
carpet of grasses.

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Torch Relay
1. Stops to light a lot of smokes along U.S. 31.
2. And to roast a pig.
3. Chased by dogs, nearly extinguished by fire hoses.
4. Flame changes to green if no traffic fatalities occur.
5. Due to severe drought conditions, torch transported by hearse surrounded by trooper cars most of the time.
6. As per contract, torchbearers must smile while using sponsor’s product, Cialis With Lime.
7. Fire bad. But free publicity good.
8. Charles Barkley runs it into Legion Field, tripping over his mouth a couple of times.
9. And lighting the cauldron, it’s the 1980 Birmingham Bulls squad!
10. And parking the cars, it’s the 1980 Birmingham Bulls squad.
(more…)

Jocks from four corners
of globe come to Beijing to
beat up Asian nerds.

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Phantom storm leaves damp
spots on sidewalk, traces of
cleansing washed away.

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If it’s August, it must be time to plug this site’s annual appearance in Birmingham Magazine …

Our pal associate editor Carla Jean Whitley rounded up the best sites in town, charitably including Wade on Birmingham in the list. We’re on page 87! We’re on page 87!

Ironically, the “Birmingham on the Web” article is not on the Web. However, you can plunk down $2.95 at your local magazine shoppe or newsstand for the issue, because it’s worth every penny finding out which sites to surf when not enjoying “clever, daily haikus.” We’re blushing.

Our thanks to Carla Jean, with a hat tip to head:subhead.

Also:

• An excerpt from “My Birmingham” in the August 2007 issue
• The magazine’s picks for the most beautiful people
• Our selection of Birmingham’s hottest sites

They gather in halls
and cubes, dressed in shiny new
cases, chirping forth.

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We chase each other
around the bookstore sharing
laughs and tunes and sweets.

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Yeah, you’re gonna bring
yourself down. I got soul, but
I’m not a soldier.

• • •

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Boats crawl along bay
espied by rubberneckers
and perched landlubbers.

• • •

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