Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 74
Tuesday, March 31st, 2026[Share on Twitter/X | Facebook]
- glorious, glorious snow
The prospect of white
gold promises a day of
hooky and snugness. - belts are tightening
Not enough money
to cover food, gas and bills.
The struggle is real. - the ai-enhanced toaster
Kitchen appliance
brings the promise of AI
to your dumb kitchen. - writers turned performers
Take your very words
and proclaim them to all the
masses and their ilk. - all is calm, all is bright
Sing of the joyous
couple and their unplanned babe
in a foul stable. - post-holiday blues
The family has
left. The tree is dying. The
returns are still left. - the walmart police
He carefully scans
the cart, receipt in hand, on
the lookout for theft. - the stats on listening
How much streaming did
we consume in a full year?
All hail Spotify! - banned words of 2025
Slop, ballroom, tariff,
parasocial, cringe, rawdog,
tradwife, 6-7! - scratch-offs and bottled water
She played card after
card, hoping for a small win
for her investment. - year-end clearance
Twenty twenty-five
can’t hurt us no more because
we’re ditching that bitch. - new year, same you
The calendar is
new, but you’re still the same old
you with more mileage. - holiday hangover
The spending was wild,
the parties were amazing,
the headache is real. - rat on the loose
Tiny, furry one,
why must you visit my home
this dreary winter? - biking buddies
They pedaled along
empty streets, admiring the
urban wonderland. - lovely and lively
She is delightful
and wry, playful and cheerful
and so kissable. - windshield woes
The glass is cracking
up (again). Time to invest
in costly fixes. - splitting down
I squatted, and the
jeans ripped in the butt. Time to
reduce that booty? - benefits of the doubts
She doesn’t think he’s
keeping pace and resorts to
curt accusations. - veganism as a way of life
No animals were
harmed in the making of these
delicious vittles. - language is no longer a barrier
Pointez votre phone
vers ce poème, et voyez
les vers traduits vite. - gone but forgotten
They served food with a
welcoming atmosphere and
still ended up closed. - struggles with attention
Even the simplest
task becomes monumental
and just out of reach. - for those who cannot change
Scorn and ridicule
to the one who expects good
from doing nothing. - chest time
Quality time on
the sofa to settle in
and snuggle away. - the tawdry read
Smut filled the pages
of the paperback novel
leading her astray. - invasion of the arctic air
Temperate weather
goes out the window when a
polar vortex drops. - life has beaten me down
Tired of getting up
in a world indifferent
to menial lives. - rehearsing the speech in your head
Going over it
over and over, trying
not to sound naggy. - civil rights mecca
Visit Birmingham
to see the history up
close and personal. - (at least) three more years of nonsense
Trumponomics is
a disaster designed to
wreck the middle class. - i can’t drive 55
Follow the highway
to discover new vistas,
new destinations. - defending your life
Rationalizing
the choices we’ve made to a
dispassionate judge. - the wonders of the snack cart
Junk foods of all kinds,
from cookies to chocolates
to chips and gummies. - the faces of ai
Confidante, teacher,
companion, advisor, judge,
advocate, writer. - hypocrisy is dead
Winning became more
important than values. It
has become the rule. - they take care of the customer
They don’t make up lame
excuses. They’re more focused
on setting things right. - the old piano
Between 81
and 86 keys still work
but it needs tuning. - oh yeah, it’s an election year
In Alabama,
a stupid football coach will
become governor. - try a little tenderness
In this hellish world,
be kind to one another
and allow for grace. - the new sidewalk
A concrete ribbon
stretches for blocks, inviting
people and pooches. - every accusation is a confession
They chide enemies,
unwittingly revealing
their evil nature. - sex positivity
It’s really fun and
a good way to explore one’s
self or another. - the uncomfortable mirror
Are we living lives
worth emulating? Or are
we coming up short? - guts
It takes guts to be
the gadfly, the truth teller,
the one who stands up. - first time cooking vegan
It’s seems to be more
about shunning foods rather
than embracing them. - berries for months
She freezes her fresh
harvest by the bucketful.
Cornucopia! - here comes the torch
Celebrate the sports
in Milano Cortina
for the Winter Games! - the original home of mardi gras
Driving to Mobile
to dance, drink and celebrate
the rolling good times. - when the bills come due
Each month, we stretch our
paycheck to cover growing
expenses and needs. - getting things done
An intricate way
to manage projects and tasks
in such constant flux. - cheap wine, good wine
For a few dollars,
you can experience a
glass of fine grape juice. - cabin fever
Been cooped up too long
this winter. Ready to burst
onto la nature. - deep intimacy
When the questions probe
into the psyche and the
responses are long. - galentine’s day
Party for women
who lift each other up in
platonic friendships. - a night for romance
Champagne and truffles,
flowers and candy, dinner
and movie, all set. - the ravages of age
Pay no attention
to the wrinkles, the gait or
the snowy white hair. - buffy for beginners
She’ll quip and quip and
quip, but always ready for
a bloody battle. - worldly ways
She had always been
on the go, visiting these
wild destinations. - summers up north, winters down south
Back and forth in search
of warmer temps and cooling
breezes for comfort. - building a life alone
How did I end up
resetting everything and
relying on me? - dad needs a little help
He just had an eye
operation, and struggles
with little to-dos. - well-paid paperweights
We sit bored with no
way to pass the time, watching
the clock ticking down. - a night of jazz
Fans dressed to go to
dinner later, waiting for
the late musicians. - authoritarian blues
This machine murders
fascists, but not nearly fast
enough for my taste. - the value of protest
Finding people who
support the same underdog
cause you’re fighting for. - the alabama solution 2
Prisoners face off
against murderous guards in
horrid conditions. - i prefer the summer
Nothing against sub-
freezing temps and icy roads,
but gimme hot days. - procrastination, the writer’s friend
Almost ready to
write, just need to get coffee
and sharpen pencils. - exploiting ai
Let us rejoice in
slop and thank our 12-fingered
hands for this content. - how to tell you’re in a cult
Everyone tells you
that you’re in a cult, but you
fail to heed their pleas. - the roundabout
Vehicles turn left
till they exit right, a game
of Rushin’ Roulette. - cooking for the week
Up late making food
in advance to nourish us
in the coming days. - getting away from lists
So many things to
do, on our Post-Its, in our
heads, in our Inbox. - half a banana
Heavy on those carbs
before the race, fractioned fruit
during and after. - the meaning of christianity
A list of holy
do’s and don’ts, but open to
interpretation. - whither college?
What good is higher
learning when the professors
can’t keep up with tech? - the thaw
Signs of spring emerge
underneath the melting snow.
Green is the new black. - climate costs
Higher power and
gas bills. Lost time at work. Need
more medical care. - hype, hype and more hype
Entertainers and
athletes shine brightest before
their predestined fall. - elder rap stars
Once, they rocked the mic.
Now, they spread joy and mirth far
across the tame land. - sponsors needed
Put your brand name here
and win the adulation
of dozens of fans. - please please click me
Make the headline vague
enough to make readers real
curious to see. - snack happy hour
Five o’clock strikes, and
it’s time to munch on pretzels
and assorted treats. - a celebration of movies
Hit the theater
to take in a new comic
book flick or romcom. - the value of protests
Finding your tribe can
be the most empowering
action to fight back. - the hidden atm
Why didn’t they tell
me about the one by the
side garage entrance? - how to drive a car into the ground
Take great care of your
beater, and replace any
parts that go kaput. - and the allergy came back
His eyes were burning
something fierce from either smoke,
pollen or dander. - plant away
Let the seeds erupt
into new vegetables and
flowers on raised beds. - you were never cool
But you were always
kind and considerate, a
soul to admire. - cleaning up, cleaning out
The time has arrived
finally to haul off the
junk and make some space. - you can’t make someone do anything
We try all the time.
It doesn’t work. We can hope,
and we can pray hard. - the cellist with the pink hair
Back from a smoke break,
she tunes her instrument while
humming to herself. - compact champagne
For those great little
celebrations of minor
victories and whims. - electric boogaloo
Americans would
rather pump gas and make fumes
than go electric. - mr. show
A fantastical
show where one surreal sketch would
lead to another. - an ode to 24-hour walmart
We roamed the aisles late
at night, unbothered by crowds,
to pick up some stuff. - the guitarist at the stop light
His belongings at
his side, he strummed for the cars
waiting to drive off. - i smile, she smiles
That’s the rule. When I
make a face, she giggles and
lights up with delight. - quarter by quarter
Make the line go up.
Cut the peons from their jobs.
Collect a bonus.
• • •
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