Wade on Birmingham

Tuesday Night Lights: Rebel redux


The Hoover Bucs love the smell of manure under the bleachers. Smells like … victory.

And so our heroes once again face their bitter rivals, the Vestavia Hills for a grudge rematch, this time during the state semifinals. If you hate the Rebels, well, this episode of “Two-a-Days” is for you.



Highlights from episode 8, season 2 of the MTV reality series …

Banner moment: Let’s face it — the only real drama leading up to the big game was cheerleading coach Shane Martin (hi, Shane!) freaking out over the paper banner of the week. This dang banner can be seen from orbit. Would there be enough black paint? Would the fans be mildly entertained? Would the cheerleaders stop giggling from black paint fumes?

Um … yes, probably and “tee hee tee hee cough cough tee hee”?

Otherwise, the catalog of events leading up to kickoff include:

  • Charlie and Kristen eat out.
  • DeJohn studies game film at home.
  • The cheerleaders decorate the locker room.
  • Coach Propst tells sports talk host Herb Winches that “both teams have a lot of class.”
  • The team practices.
  • Hoover and Vestavia Hills fans tailgate in the parking lot, and the feeble insults fly.



The horror. The horror.


Cheerleading: 10 percent practice,
90 percent signmaking.




They’re No. 1 …
‘Gimme a P!’

Someday this war’s gonna end: Propst does his usual pre-game pep talk, enticing them with the five-diamond championship ring. And matching opal-studded handbags.

Last time, Hoover beat Vestavia Hills on its home turf. This time, it’s at the Hoover Met.


‘Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!
And then we take the precious … and we be the master!’


Plan B: Smother opponents with giant banner
then wrap corpses and throw into distant ravine.


Shane: unpeppy.


Propst: too many pre-game burritos.




Chemistry 101: Brandon and Ross make the connection.

Brandon makes two big catches in the first half, finally showing his stuff to quarterback Ross and the world. At halftime, the Bucs are ahead 28-24, though the teams trade the lead throughout the game.

The Rebels score near the end, but still losing 42-37. They try one last onside kick, but it’s no good, as the Bucs head to the championship game for the seventh(!) year in a row.

Gigantic banner 1, Rebels 0.


The Wig of Shame™.

“Two-a-Days” airs at 9 p.m. Tuesdays on MTV, repeating throughout the week and available for free online.

Previously: A lousy highlight clip show.
And next: The drive for five, as Hoover looks for its fifth straight state championship.


• • •

Dude, more “Two-a-Days.”

Leave a Yip

Subscribe without commenting