Models, Inc.: TyraMale!
By Wade Kwon
To make it in the cutthroat world of modeling, ya gotta have balls.
And so our nine finalists, including Montgomery’s Dionne Walters “man up” for the big photo shoot on tonight’s “America’s Next Top Model.” What. A. Drag.
All the photos, after the jump …
Highlights from episode 5 of the CW reality series …
Never show Whitney and Diana, the plus-size gals,
lazing about or stuffing their faces. Unless it’s funny.
From frumptastic to … um, barely stylish.
The least makeover ever.
How to dress. Sorta.
‘Mannequin 3: Double Trouble’
We’ve officially hit Condition: Zoolander.
Diana, equally scary laughing or crying.
Dionne puts her retail recon to work.
Jael, Natasha and Whitney win, except they lose.
Sarah, Renee and Dionne are runners-up, except they win.
Diana, Brittany and Jaslene are last, except they’re not.
Dionne: ‘I’ve got this locked up.’
Sarah wins!
Dionne: ‘Aw, hell no!’
Natasha’s like, ‘Wha?’ and twin guy’s like ‘Yay!’
and Renee’s all ‘Oh, puh-leeze’ and Whitney’s like ‘No she didn’t.’
Again, your challenge winner.
We interrupt this program to seek contestants:
18-27 = age, not IQ;
5ft 7in = no midgets;
diverse backgrounds = no midgets.
Renee, literally and figuratively stirring the pot.
‘You bitches is cold.’
Nothing shocks Sarah except everything.
We are SO confused.
Weak.
Meh.
Pissed as hell.
Dartmouth, where the men are men,
the women are men, and the sheep are all afraid.
The next Borat.
Boys don’t cry.
The panel
Last week vs. this week … a definite improvement for Dionne.
Next stop: GQ.
Sarah wanted to win so badly, she grew an Adam’s apple.
‘Peace out, homes.’
‘I am to keep it real, da?’
The biggest losers.
Diana departs — big girls don’t cry.
Next week: Paris and Nicole;
nothing more gangsta than models and 50 Cent.
Was the casting of two plus-size gals a mistake? Can Whitney pick up the slack? Did Dionne and Renee deserve credit for Sarah’s challenge win?
“America’s Next Top Model” airs at 7 p.m. Wednesdays on CW 21, repeating at 8 p.m. Sundays and available for free online.
Previously: Wait, they model and they rob banks?!
And next: Trouble with a capital ‘T’ and that rhymes with ‘P’ and that stands for pool!
Also:
- Wanna audition for the ninth season?
- Thursday: Starkville, Miss.
- Friday: Dothan
- Saturday: Montgomery; Knoxville, Tenn.
- Behind the scenes at Saturday’s auditions in Manhattan.
- NOW decries last week’s deadly model shootings.
- Some terrific recaps at Midseason Replacements, with former TVGasm writers.
- Buy this episode or the entire season.
• • •
On the runway: more on “America’s Next Top Model.”
Sunday, April 1, 2007, 11:21 pm
Great epi! Natasha blew me away.
Saturday, September 4, 2010, 12:21 pm
[…] Content Also see:America’s Next Top Model 8Models, Inc.: Inside the bad actors’ studioModels, Inc.: TyraMale!the naming of a decadea model’s […]