Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 34
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- santa’s second job
To make ends meet, St.
Nick delivers pizzas and
subs across Finland. - the season of light hors d’oeuvres
Maybe a nibble,
some eggnog, a cookie and …
a tray of meatballs. - turf wars: the blaze awakens
First they came for the
Blazers, and I did not speak
out, because Roll Tide. - on the loss of camaraderie
Time in the trenches
builds character but also
forges true friendships. - speaks volumes
The best compliment
I paid the wretch was to keep
my mouth tightly shut. - the illusion of what is earned
Achievement measured
against sweat turns up as a
lousy ratio. - goodbye, cruel branch
The leaves decided
en masse to give in and leap
to a certain doom. - fortune favors the bold
She and he walked through
the town square as night closed in
and they thought, why not? - and the heart beats a little faster
He feared he missed her
by a decade or two but
vowed to catch up quick. - once upon a tinder
She swiped through one frog
after another, seeking
a digital prince. - to my not-so-secret admirer
The thoughtful words for
the inscription seared his heart
more so than the book. - like a two-by-four to her heart
Romance was a no-
good, two-timer, and love was
a four-letter word. - love among the introverts
They acknowledged their
passion with an intimate
and smoldering nod. - in her own skin
She would, at times, find
her self pleasantly surprised
and somewhat amiss. - love contract
Mystery room, light
bondage, full obedience,
three meals, no “Twilight.” - a bookmark
The passage pulled her
back over and over, words
that tugged at her heart. - hazards of a good read
He zipped through her taut
pages, not quite focused on
the words but the scribe. - perfect matches without candles
Sometimes, it’s better
to curse the darkness while you
cuddle up at night. - baby, it’s consensual outside
I really can’t stay.
— But, baby, it’s cold outside.
Don’t call me “baby.” - aisles to go before i sleep
Would she like something
sparkly, or silky, or a
present from the heart? - pedals down
They wound their way home
on bicycles built for two,
(Their hearts popped wheelies.) - sweeties
She mixed the dough. He
prepped baking sheets. They had a
litter of cookies. - tea and honey
Steam rose from the cups
of green tea as they held hands
in the afternoon. - a festivus miracle
A holiday worth
celebrating in verse with
enough syllables. - carbo-loading for the marathon flight
A couple of the
reindeer do Paleo, the
rest are gluten-free. - christmas keepsakes
Take the laughter and
smiles and thoughtful cards and gifts
to cherish always. - how to recycle a year
Let us not discard
a passing year but re-use
the best days again. - the second most 2014 thing ever
My bae? Turnt for this
Uber lumbersexual
fare with Ebola. - the unrepentant cheerleader
She spoke out for all
things good, never minding the
decay around her. - the canvas of 365 days
Should a calendar
be filled with moments to come
or blank with suspense? - lifehack, level 2015
Ignore all advice
on T-shirts and memes, stick to
flattering haiku. - the international regret line
On this side, regrets
and sorrow. On the tomor-
row side, hopes and dreams. - feet first
Dip the toes in. Get
steady. One step, then one more.
Forward, never back. - every day is a new year
Every day is spring,
summer, winter, fall. Every
night births a new dawn. - the quaint notion of privacy
The government’s spies
to those little creatures who
want in the bathroom. - what progress looks like
Sometimes, a flopping
fish gasping for oxygen.
Sometimes, near stillness. - the ice yet to come
It is coming, this
true winter, this merciless
paralyzing storm. - all it takes is a wall of cloth
Separate or hide,
mask or protect, decorate
or drape. Curtain doom. - cautious by nature
All the anti-germ
soap and helmets in the world
couldn’t stop the beat. - pipe, a negative
Oh, dripping faucet,
how you vex me … except when
the temps are freezing. - the blues as a way of life
Misery, with a
steady riff and many lost
dogs, plus loves gone bad. - let birmingham be birmingham
Foolish spending and
aspirational facades
in all their glory. - mama always said
Look before crossing
the street. Mind your manners. Eat
all your vegetables. - the gap
Between haves and have
nots. Between black and white. And
between left and right. - where will the garden grow?
Some sun, some shade, a
bit of rain and a lot of
love over the months. - texts at 60 mph
omg what did
he say nexr? tell tht bitch to
shut it. wher u at - drink the sand
The problem with a
lack of leadership is the
horrible vacuum. - free air everywhere
Lots of atmosphere
to hold up birds and planes but
not for my tire. - a million wonderful crazy ideas
Each idea that
flies in, nests in the brain and
seeps into the cracks. - the spy who empowered me
Under cover of
darkness, he stole the blueprints
to my secure heart. - annoying choices
Ignorance, rudeness,
arrogance, stinginess, cats,
talking at movies. - figure rate
Math makes a day more
fun by 82.4
percent. It adds up. - the trek of least resistance
Behind him were some
44 footprints, marking
a journey of one. - the cur of destiny
When failure is a
mad dog nipping at your heels,
do you run or cave? - at long last loathe
They got close, then too
close, then slightly apart with
an air of mistrust. - when two become one
Hearts of Dixie find
union in a land where parts
may or may not match. - if you don’t mind spots
The proper way to
load the dishwasher is to
get him very drunk. - the kindly miser
He hoarded his gold
and gave his moldy crusts to
those starving wretches. - the device, the source, the auteur, the viewer
Antenna, then a
cable or dish. Maybe now
a phone and tablet. - what goes around stays around
The crud came to stay
for a weekend and then a
week more. Tissues, please. - let it snow elsewhere
No more fighting for
the last loaf and gallon. No
more lost school and work. - the planner
Inspiration comes
from an outline of steps and
deadlines in one file. - a battle somewhere
Two near-champions
prepare for epic fight, while
I pick a movie. - front porch posturing
He fended off the
interlopers with nothing
more than a tall tale. - rodent rituals
Will a sweeping cold
front bring more rain tomorrow?
Ask the damn groundhog. - string bean dreams
A day will come when
tiny rows of crops nourish
our sun-baked bodies. - harmony among the ribs
The smoking hut crammed
barbecue lovers of all
stripes for a sit-down. - the healing of the mind
They suffer in the
silence of the void till heard
and loved by healers. - making money
Sheets of paper, disks
of metal with holes, bits and
bytes, chickens to trade. - estranged fruit
Bananas cannot
marry bananas, only
peaches. Just ask God. - hour three at the dmv
The guards eye us with
suspicion. The lines grow with
unlicensed drivers. - the purposely driven life
Let our planners and
schedules overflow with plans
to remain busy. - the poorly chosen few
They come prepared, sort
of, to take up slack and spark
a hope-like feeling. - a plan for romance
Let’s get takeout and
light a fire, listen to
jazz and talk softly. - elevate the discourse
Feed the audience
with information and per-
spective and respect. - ebay rich
Piles of junk from the
attic travel to far-off
states to become cash. - love in the south
Romantic notions
over bullfrog croaks, sweet tea
and abstinence vows. - frigid panic
Will the schools shut down?
Will the bridges freeze over?
Will the snow kill us? - easier to give up
Time to let those goals
for the “new” year fade away
like lost promises. - the skid
The routine goes so
smoothly, then a slight shift and
it’s spinning like mad. - on birdman
Let us celebrate
actors in their natural
habitat, the stage. - broken china
The revolution
wound down as plates crashed to earth,
out for one last spin. - the legalization of potlikker
A substance that brings
only pleasure, addictive
and medicinal. - the fine line between televised comedy and drama
Laugh for up to (but
not over) 30 minutes,
cry at 31. - for a spell
Sit, catch up, gossip,
relax, unwind, listen to
the birds, settle in. - something gold can stay
The parties fade and
the talk shows take over once
the trophies go home. - as winter passes by
Children pray for snow.
Parents pray for sanity.
Grocers pray for fear. - a spirited toast
Here’s to ego, the
cause of, and solution to,
all of life’s problems. - the pettiest of concerns
Cable outage, long
lines, parking meters, ringing
phones, loud neighbors, dust. - the colors of the long-winded
Easily the most
pointless debates we have are
Internet debates. - all winter in a day
Snow and ice warnings,
bread and milk fights and canceled
plans and frozen pipes. - the sky a little lighter
Coming around the
bend, a young woman brings her
fresh spirit. It’s spring. - the kids pick the menu
He picks nuggets and
she picks tater tots and they
pick chocolate milk. - drive-in saturday night
The sun goes down, the
lights come up, the stars shine on
the luminous screen. - a dream about carbs
Cupcakes and doughnuts
rain from the sky into my
smiling hollow belly. - a thin sheet of death
The blacktop hid a
thin sheet of death, commonly
referred to as ice. - the refreshening
What’s more refreshing:
ice cream on a scorching day
or tea in winter? - the unwanted gift of gab
Let us discover
problems and talk them to death,
for want of action. - fertile ground
One part leaves, one part
mineral, one part moss, one
part water, plus luck. - addicted to the bitter
A thought process stuck
in reverse pushes the gross
sludge to the forefront. - unmoved
He would not budge, not
for love or pain or money.
No, he would not budge.
• • •
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Sunday, March 15, 2015, 12:06 am
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