Archive for April, 2006
the anti-diatribe
Thursday, April 6th, 2006Heads and tales: Finance without the romance
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
The first step: Kudos to Rep. John Knight, who after years of work and overcoming the Legislature’s indifference and the education lobby’s resistance, succeeded with a tax cut for the poor in Alabama. The state was ranked first in taxing the poor before, and while the bill (expected to be signed into law soon) provides modest relief for families, it’s a start. The new rank: No. 4. Maybe we can stop taxing food at some point, for fun.
• Alabama lowering income taxes on working poor [Associated Press]
Met effect: Kudos to Art Clarkson, the legendary sports owner and promoter. He talked a Birmingham suburb into spending $12 million to build the Hoover Metropolitan Stadium for minor league baseball. It opened in 1988. Nowadays, it generates $10 million in spending for the annual SEC baseball tournament and will net another $5 million for a nationally televised four-day beach volleyball tourney in July — on top of plain ol’ Barons baseball, which kicks off tonight. Surprisingly, it doesn’t pay for itself with the city, but makes up for a lot of it in tax revenues. The Barons schedule all events there, and the general manager said, “This is the most used and versatile sports venue in Birmingham.” Pretty good for no dome.
• Met all set for 19th opener [Birmingham News]
Money me’s: Students at Minor, Shades Valley and Hoover high schools have the chance to become budding capitalists. Close to 200 have enrolled in the Academy of Finance, a slate of courses teaching finance, business, banking, economics and more. The courses are tied to the New York-based National Academy Foundation. About 30 percent of the academy’s “graduates” go into a career in finance. We know plenty of adults who need to be enrolled yesterday.
• Show 'em the money — youths learn its use [Birmingham News]
Also:
- Ice cream trucks prepare to deliver frozen treats, narcotics
- Hitchhiker aspires to be professional HOV passenger
- Allergens roam city unchecked, unlicensed
• • •
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bundle of boy
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006Heads and tales: Get the word out
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
Money? Well … spent: The Jefferson County Commission has paid more than $200,000 in PR services. Don’t worry: Your tax dollars aren’t being squandered. First, they sent out this neat brochure that explains how the commission has saved you money. Second, the PR firms billed for vital services like reading the newspaper, putting stickers on folders, attending meetings and attending more meetings. We’re just bitter because we provide all those services for double the cost — that’s the Wade on Birmingham difference.
• County spends $202,000 for PR [Birmingham News]
Maximizing security: As required by the federal Prison Rape Elimination Act, Alabama is taking steps to curb sexual assault in prisons. Step No. 1: Posters! Egad, will it be the kitty in the tree captioned “Hang in there, baby!” or the sleek management poster touting “F R E E D O M.”
• Prison system takes steps to crack down on inmate sexual violence [Associated Press]
39 cents and a dream: If you didn’t actually receive your county commission flyer, maybe it’s because the post office hasn’t picked it up yet. The Postal Service moved its collection times to earlier in the day around the city — some before noon. That has made it difficult for some businesses to get outgoing letters and packages ready on time. Kristy White said the downtown branch has drive-through boxes with last collection times at 8 p.m. That’s simply not true: They stopped collecting that late at those outdoor boxes long ago — you must go inside and drop off before 8. But heck, 39 cents is still a bargain, right? Right?
• Mail collection time change vexes some [Birmingham News]
Also:
- Baby sells naming rights to online casino
- Overpriced bottle cap murals planned for art festival
- Tonight, a very special episode of takeout food and overtime
• • •
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Just for Hicks: Walk the nine
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
Taylor Hicks kicked off country night on “American Idol.” Even with Kenny Rogers’ help, could the soul man get his twang on?
Recap after the jump …
Updated with video, elimination.
southside waiting
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006Heads and tales: Red state chronicles
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
Till court ruling do us part: One of the first gay couples married in Massachusetts in 2004 is a pair of guys from Anniston. But now, the Massachusetts Supreme Court has upheld a 1913 law that prohibits out-of-state couples from marrying in-state if their union is illegal in their home states. So they’re no longer technically married. Christopher McCary, one-half of the couple, said, “It really doesn’t change anything. We’re like everybody else. He has two jobs, I have one and we both work all the time.” Hey hey hey, no one wants to hear about it, keep that stuff to yourself, pervert.
• Alabama men wed in Massachusetts living happily despite ruling [Associated Press]
Bunny changes everything: Resume: hospital candy striper (with one ‘P’), Sonic waitress, Playboy playmate. Attalla native Holley Ann Dorrough is Playboy’s April playmate. The 19-year-old model, now in Los Angeles, lists her turn-ons as “respect, passion, nice hair” and her turn-offs as “cockiness, players, bums.” She landed the playmate title (as only the seventh playmate ever from Alabama) by announcing to Hugh Hefner, “I’m your next playmate.” We’re pleased to report that her photos are tasteful, devoid of any shots of her “hoohoo,” “bajingo” or “cooch.”
• Hometown folks fret over Attalla teen’s centerfold [Birmingham News]
Hoop dreams: Leeds native Charles Wade Barkley will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this September as part of the class of 2006. He averaged 22.1 points and nearly 12 rebounds a game; he won a gold medal in 1992 but never earned a championship ring. We’ll let Sir Charles speak for himself. “Hey, I’m 43 and I’ve never had a real job, and I hope I never do.” “You know it’s going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.” And “My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, ‘Hey, I’m rich.’ ”
• Barkley, Wilkins, Auriemma lead ’06 Hall of Fame class [Associated Press]
Clock block: Despite our less-than-accurate report about Daylight Saving Time being suspended in Alabama, we do know that changing all those clocks is for a good cause. Or is it? An Alabama Power spokesman says it’s unlikely we’re saving that much on energy used for lighting, the reason behind the annual time warp. Do you know how hard it is to change the sundial in the back yard?!
• Daylight saving won’t save energy [Alexander City Outlook]
Also:
- Neighborhood jog turns out to be sprint followed by gasping walk
- Over-the-mountain mayors vow to form ‘kick-ass’ garage band
- Bridal registry nothing more than wish list of kitchen appliances, pricey linens
• • •
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compulsive affirmative
Monday, April 3rd, 2006just batty
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006first of april
Saturday, April 1st, 2006Living in the past: Under a spell
Saturday, April 1st, 2006
And now, our feature presentation, March of the past items …
Heads and tales: Foolish notions
Saturday, April 1st, 2006
Narrow daylight: Forget the whole time-change exercise this weekend. Scientists at the U.S. Daylight Saving Institute have temporarily suspended Daylight Saving Time for Katrina-affected states, including Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama. Clocks aren’t expected to “spring forward” until late June or early July. One researcher noted, “We couldn’t ask thousands of displaced residents to change their clocks, much less look for them under all that rubble.” The states will likely make up the time by extending Daylight Saving until November or December.
• Katrina knocks clocks off course [Temporal Mechanics]
Domain event: The fourth estate is looking for a second chance. In a controversial move, Mayor Bernard Kincaid used the city’s power of eminent domain to seize control of the yet-to-be-completed Birmingham News downtown offices to use for either the railroad park museum or the successor to Boutwell Auditorium. The daily newspaper was expected to move into the new headquarters by summer, but Kincaid took possession of the property late Friday. He denied any personal motive against the newspaper, long a critic of his tenure at City Hall. A newspaper spokesman said, “We have incriminating photos of [Kincaid] in a closet somewhere, and as soon as we find them …”
• Stop the presses [WADE-FM]
Fighting fire with ire: The chapel at Birmingham-Southern College was found in smoldering ruins early Friday, in apparent retaliation for the church arson suspects’ affiliation with the school. A passing professor discovered the scene while the campus was deserted for spring break. During an impromptu press conference, the school’s president said, “It’s as we feared: Those backwoods Baptists are pissed off and gunning for us.” Students were asked to pray temporarily in the campus bookstore and rec center.
• Birmingham-Southern burns; bumpkins believed to be baddies [Birmingham Bugler]
Also:
- Attalla girl turns to life of porn, sweet sweet porn
- Home-schooled kids want chance to let down teammates, too
- Popular news blog uses April 1 as excuse for lame fake briefs
• • •
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