Video: an origin story

Happy Memorial Day!

Learn more about how the holiday started in Charleston, S.C.

Election results from today’s primaries in Alabama …

More election coverage in our Vote 2022 special report.

The runoff takes place June 21.

Voter turnout:

• Alabama: 21.96 percent
• Jefferson County: 22.34 percent

(Updating throughout the evening.)

Democrats

(Contested races only)

Winner in red | Runoff candidates in blue

Republicans

(Contested races only)

Winner in red | Runoff candidates in blue

Amendments

Winner in red

Twitter

Turnout is low. Don't ask me what that means except that many Alabamians clearly didn't find the campaigns engaging.

— Kyle Whitmire (@WarOnDumb) May 24, 2022

I have the privilege of voting at Rosa Parks’ church and you better believe I take it seriously. Don’t forget to vote, Alabama! #vote #alpolitics pic.twitter.com/QwAWResSr3

— Leah Nelson says Go Huskies; don’t roll, Tide (@leahanelson) May 24, 2022

Thoroughly unscientific, FWIW observation from speaking with voters throughout central Alabama this morning: I encountered more unprompted complaints about the negative campaign advertising this year than I have in previous elections. #alpolitics

— Brian Lyman (@lyman_brian) May 24, 2022

Assuming Ivey wins in November and finishes her second full term in office in 2027, she will have served the longest continuous term of any governor in Alabama history. #alpolitics

— Brian Lyman (@lyman_brian) May 25, 2022

• • •

More Vote 2022 coverage.

Mike Maguire (CC)

Time to start marking ballots. The polls are open till 7 tonight for Alabama’s midterm elections.

Q: Where do I vote?

A: Call Jefferson County: (205) 325-5550, Jefferson County (Bessemer only): (205) 481-4105, Shelby County: (205) 669-3913.

Or Search Your Polling Place on AlabamaVotes.gov.

Wade on Birmingham:
election results tonight

Remember, if you have problems at your polling place:

• Notify a poll worker immediately.
• Call the secretary of state at 1-800-274-VOTE (8683) or visit his site, StopVoterFraudNow.com.
• And tell the probate court for Jefferson County (205-325-5203) or Shelby County (205-669-3713).
• Nationwide: 866-OUR-VOTE (687-8683)
• E-mail us at Vote2022[at]wadeonbirmingham.com.

Q: What can I expect to see on the ballots?

A: Check out these sample ballots for each county.

You’re voting for U.S. Senator, state (including governor) and county officials.

Who are you voting for today? Tell us in the comments.

• • •

More Vote 2022 coverage.

The midterm elections are upon us. On May 24, cast your ballots in Alabama for state and local races.

We have the sample ballots for Jefferson and Shelby Counties for the primaries.

Find your polling place/districts.

Check out the top state and county offices up for grabs. And peruse the Alabama Voter Guide 2022, with voting procedures and frequently asked questions.

For easier viewing, you can print, download or zoom to full screen with each ballot.

Vote next Tuesday, with runoffs on June 21.

• • •

Sample ballots for all 67 counties.

• • •

Jefferson County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Jefferson County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Shelby County: Democratic ballot

[Mobile version]

Shelby County: Republican ballot

[Mobile version]

• • •

Alabama Voter Guide 2022

[Mobile version]

• • •

Candidate guides:

• BirminghamWatch

• • •

More Vote 2022 coverage.

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1. smoke break, winter edition
   Bundle the fuck up
   for a 5-minute sojourn
   by the back entrance.
2. use the good china today
   Candles, wines, cigars,
   gift cards, linens … break them all
   out and use them up.
3. poetic instant analysis
   Scanning the lines for
   wordplay and symbolism,
   tripping on meter.
4. hearing the words of the verse
   A melodic burst
   of syllables, a brief hush
   of understanding.
5. feminist turned misogynist
   Once a hero, now
   a goat. Made us believe he
   was part of the cause.
6. modern valentines 1
   Please accept these terms
   and conditions as shown to
   be my valentine.
7. modern valentines 2
   Swipe right, hey gurl, a
   few suggestive emoji,
   pre-date, confirmed date.
8. modern valentines 3
   A non-binary
   throuple with hints of poly
   and no jealousy.
9. cupid 2022
   Arrows tipped with love
   potion and double dose of
   Moderna vaccine.
10. ultimate poker face
    Remarkable self-
    poise, or the last one ever
    before dropping dead.
11. the whitest supremacy
    The thought police do
    kindly request that books by
    black authors be banned.
12. the great resignation
    What happens when a
    society finds out the
    true value of work?
13. no time for breathing
    He practiced a form
    of keen mindfulness that ran
    on autopilot.
14. dog in training
    Learning to beg and
    roll and sit and come and stay
    for praise and biscuits.
15. with facebook, your junk is someone else’s treasure
    I gave away a
    20-year-old TV set
    in just 2 hours.
16. technical(ly) gibberish
    (It’s not exactly
    gibberish since very smart
    people make it work.)
17. make it awkward
    Share too much, dance in
    front of a crowd, and swipe right
    on people you know.
18. dry month
    Lock up the liquor
    cabinet and throw away
    the six-packs of beers.
19. impossible choices
    How do we weigh the
    science and economics
    when we failed them both?
20. jetting off to paris
    Ah, to spend the week
    with haute cuisine and sublime
    music, living well.
21. interactive artscapes
    When the artist and
    audience connect over
    social media.
22. the swear jar
    Clean up language through
    fiscal remuneration
    by violation.
23. the beauties of space
    An uncle and his
    nephew bond over the worlds
    they might see someday.
24. a problem for future me
    Let’s go the cheap route
    and have the consequences
    play out however.
25. do we do it for the gratitude?
    Is it so much to
    ask for a “thank you” or does
    that corrupt motives?
26. world war 3
    A nuclear power
    invades a sovereign land.
    It’s almost midnight.
27. mind games
    Conservatorships
    can safeguard the mentally
    ill or make things worse.
28. guess the copay
    This doctor’s visit
    will cost me 40 bucks or
    200 dollars.
29. the laziest of friends
    They might text, they might
    meet up, they might share some laughs.
    But probably not.
30. the courage to sing
    Approach the front of
    the stage, take a deep breath and
    let out that first note.
31. a gentle reminder
    Be brave enough to
    (if stuck in complacency)
    suck at something new.
32. the revival of book burnings
    Destroy empathy
    by setting aflame those cursed
    books that inflame hearts.
33. the mid-morning nap
    A brief siesta
    to prep the body for lunch
    and afternoon drudge.
34. the medical bill nightmare
    To pay thousands for
    drugs again and again or
    face an early grave.
35. the indoor garden
    The special lamps bring
    sunshine to the wisps of plants
    stretching in comfort.
36. recreational high
    Out of commission
    for a few hours as the
    brain relaxes all.
37. the forever loan
    The most expensive
    cap and gown ever ensures
    this cumbersome debt.
38. so saucy
    Irreverent imps
    seize control of staid placid
    psyches to spread mirth.
39. in reddit we trust
    Online gossips vote
    up (or down) sordid rumors
    for entertainment.
40. pet conspiracy theories
    Believe what you will,
    but know that still crazier
    ideas take root.
41. the nine days of spring break
    Celebrating a
    week of uninterrupted
    fun and/or mischief.
42. the mating call of the fox
    The back yard echoes
    with passionate cries from some
    wild bushy-tailed freaks.
43. the pleasures of an incubating season
    Days grow warmer and
    longer as winter goes in-
    to hibernation.
44. paperworked
    This pile to be filed.
    This pile to be shredded. This
    pile to be eaten.
45. hiber nation
    A modern stupor
    brought about by always-on
    screens in all venues.
46. an appropriate dosage
    With Girl Scout cookies,
    one box equals one serving.
    Yes, one measly box.
47. bulletproof
    Backpack shields and drills
    for days … nothing to disarm
    potential shooters.
48. summer of soul
    When Harlem lit up
    with a galaxy of stars
    all on one big stage.
49. the fix
    Just one more. That’ll
    make it all right. Can’t function
    till it’s in my hands.
50. to the shredder
    Old phone records, scads
    of brochures and legal junk,
    reams of paper dross.
51. presence and presents
    They’re instructed to
    come empty handed yet they
    bear gifts just the same.
52. far or fiyah
    Success depends on
    whether “fire” has just one
    or two syllables.
53. hiking with six eyes
    Their cameras came out
    for engrossing foliage
    and weirdly shaped rocks.
54. staffing shortages and other delights
    Every time I ask
    for “no mayo,” the sandwich
    arrives with mayo.
55. not in a joking mood
    Troubled times leads to
    an absence of whimsy while
    the whole world burns down.
56. back to reading
    The absolute joy
    of holding a book and thumbing
    through its rough pages.
57. a chapter a day
    Devouring this
    book in nightly sessions while
    boredom falls away.
58. the re-creative process
    Reading old poems
    and thinking “How did that thing
    come out of my brain?”
59. eye candy for the neighbors
    What good is having
    the house painted when you can’t
    see it from inside?
60. scrape scrape scrape scrape
    Washing isn’t all.
    You have to scrape and scratch each
    square inch of old paint.
61. no one notices
    Not the couple at
    the bar. Not the cyclist in
    the street. Just no one.
62. the hypnotic scroll
    I can’t turn away
    from the endless options to
    watch, like and subscribe.
63. return of the cold war
    Powers clash over
    dueling ideologies
    and outdated slights.
64. threats of a madman
    A huge fortune to
    protect no matter the cost
    to the citizens.
65. the public in public health
    Endless cycles of
    mandated masks. The lesson
    is to never try.
66. the pollening
    Yellow dust swirling
    everywhere, sinuses in
    total misery.
67. instant dissatisfaction
    When you click on “Buy,”
    but the shipping won’t happen
    for 6 to 8 weeks.
68. how to binge
    Theme song. Episode.
    Closing credits. Repeat. Move
    on to the next show.
69. my montage
    Clock in. Do my job.
    Clock out. Eat my dinner. Read
    a book. Go to bed.
70. writing in the sky
    Her hands and arms and
    face telegraphed ancient thoughts
    in potent fashion.
71. coming out party
    Once dead and newly
    risen, he appears for his
    heavenly reward.
72. return to office
    Taking the last 2
    years of struggle and success
    and forgetting them.
73. talking type
    An lol, an
    ikr and a couple
    of hbu’s, too.
74. confronting a fear
    Saying aloud the
    parts that have me confounded
    and begging for help.
75. first date at a wine bar
    I haven’t laughed so
    hard in a long time and been
    able to relax.
76. the grownup party
    All the little ones
    wanted to do was stay up
    late and play some games.
77. the grownup party part 2
    All the older ones
    wanted to do was converse
    deeply and drink rum.
78. best buds everywhere
    A forest stroll shows
    off the fragrant flowers just
    coming into bloom.
79. addicted to illegals
    A cop show for just
    anyone and everyone
    who has eyeballs, pulse.
80. keys to literary success
    Start slowly to draw
    the reader in, go faster,
    end on a climax!!
81. get the grill ready
    Dump out the ashes
    and scrape the gunk off the grill.
    Ready for some meats.
82. even drummers get the love
    When rock stars die, fans
    mourn them all, especially
    those who smashed things hard.
83. an audience of one or two
    No matter how small
    the following, to give it
    all you’ve got each time.
84. slipping into the ether
    A heaviness falls
    and thoughts and steps slur in a
    bumble of nonsense.
85. the sacrifices for barbecue
    Working the pit at
    four in the morning, tending
    those meats carefully.
86. the 50-year-old dad
    He could still give some
    piggyback rides while saving
    for their college funds.
87. lazy man’s pancakes
    Forget the milk and
    eggs, just remember to add
    the baking powder.
88. the promise of work ahead
    Her eyes lit up at
    the prospect of remaining
    busy through the week.
89. hello and goodbye
    The introvert slips
    in for a quick appearance
    before sneaking out.
90. keeping tabs
    A browser straining
    under the weight of dozens
    of open websites.
91. canines come and go
    The bad dog mom keeps
    her nail appointment while her
    mutt’s in surgery.
92. groaning for juice
    Phones should wail each time
    their batteries run down so
    we know they’re in pain.
93. laundry for beginners
    Trying to wash clothes
    with differing instructions
    and rules in one load.
94. the kilimanjaro effect
    Almost to the top,
    freezing like never before,
    gasping in thin air.
95. gesturing stream of consciousness
    So fluent in sign
    language that he could ramble
    carelessly with hands.
96. out of the mouths of rubes
    Cancel culture? More
    like consequence culture for
    lousy opinions.
97. the need for checks in 2022
    To pay only the
    landscaper because Venmo
    charges a small fee.
98. rank ’em
    Destination spots.
    “Cheers” episodes. Power tools.
    Vanilla ice creams.
99. the many uses of cereal
    Breakfast, snack, ice cream
    topping, dessert bars, hiding
    spot for toys, fiber.
100. adventures in conscious states
     A few milligrams
     and the mind is allowed to
     slip the grasp of self.
101. a bookkeeper’s place
     A running tally
     of numbers numbers numbers
     which must all add up.

• • •

Read more Wade’s 101.

Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.

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