Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 73
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter/X | Facebook]
- that boy (still) ain’t right
“King of the Hill” picks
up 8 years later in our
beloved Arlen. - picky about the pic
Volunteer photog
tries different angles while
getting us to pose. - swimming lessons
A summer to flail
around in chlorine learning
how to move around. - deny the fly
It buzzes around
the kitchen, setting on a
plate of vittles. Gross! - kim’s convenience
A Canadian
show about a Korean
family hits home. - no more kings 2
America fought
to cleave from an unjust king.
Shall we fight again? - planning to get out of town
Who will be at the
lake house, and how long will they
be there? Oh, I see … - the sober generation
No longer are they
willing to be swilling booze.
Let’s save the liver. - the new conservative male
Unwilling to be
woke. Attached to Joe Rogan
and the manosphere. - house rich
Flaunt your wealth with gold
sconces, marble countertops
and pink chandeliers. - grand opening/grand closing
No one even had
the chance to browse the store or
touch the merchandise. - or the first day of second summer
A fall where it’s still
hot outside all the time and
leaves stay on the trees. - rip post-herald
It’s been 20 years
since our newspaper shut down.
Many more have croaked. - the mighty sovereign citizen
Anti-gov crackpot
challenges authority
every single day. - artificial scarcity
You need this. But it’s
almost gone! You don’t really
need this. Buy it quick! - don’t yuck my yum
A world of flavors
and preferences, plenty
of room for all tastes. - the library has moved
And so have the books
and the personnel and the
hamster named Herman. - corporate enticements
Free food and ping pong
are certainly better than
flex hours and raises. - hillside ornaments
Landscaping on a
slanted surface with meatball
bushes and much mulch. - donut shoppe dilemma
I can’t decide what
to get for my dozen. Might
I try every one? - plus plus dash
A compliment, then
another compliment, then
a vow to resume. - snoozing in the janitor’s closet
Walking down the hall
listening to the gentle
snore of a cleaner. - first amendment, first priority
Make a joke about
the president and get yanked
from TV airwaves. - look who’s chicken
Sometimes powerful
people fold in the face of
an angry public. - examining the will
Check for intent and
execution. Does it match
testator’s wishes? - pinball heaven
Silver balls careen
through grandiose mazes, and
so many flippers! - missed connection
Hey stranger, our eyes
met at the car wash and you
were wearing burlap … - life on airplane mode
Flying along with
no notifications and
no complications. - the most critical part of a surprise party
Making sure the lights
are off and all the guests are
hiding in their spots. - a sink full of dirty dishes
We let them pile up
without rinsing or putting
them in the washer. - that new library smell
Checking out the plush
pristine carpets and dusty
old books on display. - help from afar
Participating
in protests and petitions
to stop genocide. - social media was a mistake
Every post reflects
nonsensical opinions
on every topic. - costume conundrum
Something timely or
timeless? Funny or scary?
Sexy or slutty? - entertaining seniors
Some light juggling, a
game of bingo and chair-based
yoga on Thursday. - in memory of
The mourners gathered
in church to pay their respects
to a lost loved one. - showdown in the courtroom
Angry mom v.
angry dad over the care
of their little ones. - a book for basic dickheads
Everything I don’t
like is “woke,” especially
this stupid engine. - know your cocktails
A pricey course in
bartender specialties that
can be sipped or gulped. - just call me petty betty
I can hold a grudge
like no other, some going
back a few decades. - don’t call everyone a nazi
(Unless they’re trying
to stamp out minorities
and oppressed peoples.) - bobbing for herpes
No one puts apples
in a tub of water since
we found out it’s gross. - seeking friendship
Companionship can
be rare when we don’t know how
to attract others. - fiesta time
Eating tacos while
color-coordinated
bandas take the stage. - lucha libre
The vocal crowd roared
its support as luchadors
became acrobats. - the care and feeding of a wade
Observe quietly,
engage him gently, offer
him a Diet Coke. - we think we’re the majority
How often we find
out others violently
disagree with us. - the many flavors of anxiety
We learn to cope with
fear of future by getting
us desensitized. - unserious people
Surrounded by those
who could make a difference
but choose otherwise. - your daily fascism
Threats of violence,
a little gaslighting, a
dose of suppression. - the masks are off
Evil spirits no
longer dwell in the shadows
but wander freely. - so many car washes out there
The sole objective
standard to judge a car is
by its cleanliness. - the museum of graffiti
Artists make use of
spray paint to create gorgeous
murals on clean walls. - art deco town
The streets are lined with
fabulous examples of
old architecture. - that new house smell
Walls scrubbed clean and floors
that shine. Take everything in,
lord of the manor. - moving out
Her stuff disappeared
box by box, leaving almost
no trace of herself. - a place for plants
Each windowsill and
table top, all along the
floor and balcony. - mother-daughter detente
A truce at long last,
as both re-evaluate
their losses and gains. - an empty house
A home full of life
goes quiet. The kids have moved
on and far away. - the sofa puzzle
A pink couch that comes
in pieces requires some
tools and some luck. - an eye for decor
A custom palette
and swatches of fabrics lead
the way to great style. - the battle of portland
This Veterans Day,
please remember the selfless
heroes who fought squat. - the ornery judge
She was gruff and would
not deal with shenanigans
within her courtroom. - interview blues
All that prep time to
end up babbling like a dope
for 40 minutes. - the microwave trap
Unsuspecting fools
trying to heat lunches doomed
due to faulty latch. - data center defiance
Where will they build? Not
here, not now. Dreadful impact
on environment. - salad in a bag
All kinds of shredded
lettuce with more veggies and
assorted fixins. - ghosting as a way of life
Never return a
call or a text. Just keep on
gliding through the world. - 20 years of poetry
Counting syllables
while putting words to my wild
imagination. - the last days of turkey
Fat and satisfied,
he ambles round the barnyard
with nary a care. - the ballroom
Historic rubble
gives way to hubris with a
tacky gold veneer. - ladies and gentlemen, the weekend
Pack up and head home.
There’s nothing that can’t wait till
Monday or Tuesday. - the high cost of living
Inflation is our
constant companion, making
our sad lives worth less. - the new new nazi party
They speak of murders
for cleansing, giving salutes
with knowing glances. - don’t drink the water
When going abroad,
imbibe the wines and beers, teas
and juices and mead. - pocket translator
Smartphones interpret
the wider world with kindly
linguistic aplomb. - fly the bankrupt skies
Passengers must serve
their own drinks and load baggage
onto the airplane. - pilgrims and indians
Two factions sit down
to dinner and politely
break bread together. - a fall beach trip
Less crowded but still
sunny. Familiar rhythms
beckon us to stay. - life in merida
Mexican city
thrives with kind-hearted people
and warmer weather. - let it flood, let it flood, let it flood
Hurricanes batter
helpless hot spots dumping an
ocean of water. - a book inscription
“Dearest Reader, know
that I wrote this fine book for
you especially.” - prelude to a nap
Drooping eyes, flagging
energy can’t compete with
a warm, cozy bed. - the unpainted table
She felt like sprucing
it up, though it didn’t need
a real makeover. - giftfinding
A special knack for
finding the perfect item
that will bring a smile. - the mother who wasn’t there
Father and son don’t
get along, leaving her caught
in between warriors. - beyond mass appeal
It’s the specifics
that draw an audience, the
details that matter. - always another fire to put out
Something is burning?
It must be a day ending
with the letter “Y.” - what’s a living wage?
When food, shelter and
clothing can be bought, with some
left for dignity. - santa keeps three lists
On the third list are
terrorists, billionaires and
bitcoin fanatics. - snap decisions
The benefits don’t
last long with three kids eating
everything in sight. - modern pinball
Less about flippers
and more about buzzy screens
and endless cutscenes. - where is the exit?
Please let us escape
this nightmare world where our dreams
and plans are strangled. - the value of pbs
A wholesome network
where kids can learn and adults
can absorb culture. - the appeasement strategy
Let the bully win,
then fret when he returns for
more compensation. - the lie that got away
It started as a
fib, grew into a whopper,
blew up in our face. - boyfriend material
Owns his own house and
car. Practices chivalry.
Cares for his kitties. - early morning fog
Even headlights fall
away in an enormous
white cloud floating so. - the crackdown
Masked armed thugs from the
government round up people
of color on sight. - the alabama solution
A deadly sentence
for state prisoners at the
mercy of the guards. - a night at the symphony
Beautiful patrons
love Mozart and Tchaikovsky
performed with panache.
• • •
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