Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 28


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  1. functional extrovert
    His grin seemed off, a
    plastered sentiment beneath
    weary darkened eyes.
  2. piracy in the 21st century
    Not doubloons or gold,
    but a digital copy
    of a “Twilight” flick.
  3. working hard or hardly resting
    The taskmaster would
    brook no break, choosing instead
    to whisper, “Don’t stop.”
  4. the mule in spring
    The mule inched forward
    imperceptibly while the
    asses watched agape.
  5. baker’s choice
    Her kitchen became
    a flour-y disaster
    zone, but, oh, the tarts!
  6. lost in transubstantiation
    Eating and drinking
    one’s savior could cause severe
    deus diabetes.
  7. strawberry delight
    Sweet harvest, bounty
    of red, sunlight trapped in juice
    beneath curvy skins.
  8. four-legged tornado
    The misbehaving
    pup shredded assorted clothes
    and tinkled at will.
  9. viral notion
    The vice president
    asked the marketing chief, who
    assigned it to interns.
  10. rounding third
    A runner made for
    home, egged on by teammates, fans
    and adrenaline.
  11. nose to the ground
    The forest floor sent
    the tail wagging with the scent
    of hidden creatures.
  12. condition blue
    Gorgeous springtime sky
    gives no hint of tornadoes
    on the horizon.
  13. prone to rupture
    The vessel for his
    madness leaked oily fluid
    onto the blank page.
  14. horror in boston
    Marathoners cross
    the finish line, only to
    find death, destruction.
  15. the unheralded organizers
    Their free time is spent
    hunting chairs, making flyers
    and scrounging for pens.
  16. like a nuclear bomb
    Flames pierce stillness of
    night, followed by explosion
    flattening Texas.
  17. the modest goddess
    Naked, unguarded,
    she possesses my soul with
    her gentle glances.
  18. negative vibes
    Senses register
    troubled spirits. Air thick with
    hope and frustration.
  19. goodnight, beantown
    Rest, you weary sons
    of liberty. Know that your
    neighbors will keep watch.
  20. post-post-postmodern
    Art is everywhere.
    We are art, everything is
    art. Is this art? No.
  21. plot dealers
    They glance around once,
    twice, before revealing the
    merchandise: free books.
  22. a sisyphus for the rest of us
    the boulder wore down into
    a pebble, then speck.
  23. the buzzer is broken
    Weary shopper takes
    a seat on the metal bench.
    Clerk isn’t in sight.
  24. security in insecurity
    A bundle of nerves
    kept him both isolated
    and in constant touch.
  25. bart on the loose
    Colorful boxer
    bounds over sidewalks and steps
    to art lovers’ grins.
  26. step 3: profit!
    The plan was to do
    this, but quickly turned into
    that. Was that the plan?
  27. a land without sidewalks
    Even the full moon
    could not light the way along
    dark streets and odd homes.
  28. they came, they saw, they left
    Dark windows kept the
    crowds at bay. Though they knocked for
    service, no one came.
  29. home sweat home
    A house in need of
    a woman’s touch, followed by
    laboring in love.
  30. fight of the bumblebee
    Pup snatches bees in
    mid-flight, snacking on buzzing
    drones, stingers and all.
  31. the guardian of time
    The jaded keeper
    sat impatiently in the
    swirl of cosmic night.
  32. embrace of the teeming
    Have a card, take a
    card. Leave a card, toss a card.
    Shuffle off and die.
  33. dare to hoe
    Rows wind through the dirt.
    Squirrels tear through the rows. Birds peck
    at the black remains.
  34. big dogs on campus
    Institution of
    higher learning rewards good
    dogs with free boarding.
  35. troubadours and lattes
    A lone guitarist
    plays for coffee and change to
    crowds of day people.
  36. a tent popped for two
    The wind wouldn’t quit.
    Night fell in droplets, as they
    huddled reading verse.
  37. no one understands but her
    I am weak, but she
    makes me strong. I am confused,
    but she guides me through.
  38. how to be a juggler
    Keep those balls in the
    air. Make it seem easy. Don’t
    look away too long.
  39. countertop blizzard
    The kitchen looked as
    if a chef had hit it with
    a flour grenade.
  40. cutter’s corner
    The gentleman with
    the unruly mane took his
    seat, while the rest jawed.
  41. where shows go to die
    This fall’s lineup will
    make audiences laugh, cry
    unlike latest crop.
  42. the aural void
    Silence. A rushing
    of waves. The moan of a train
    whistle. Then, silence.
  43. let me love you till the end of time
    A heart calls out for
    a twin, one that lubs while the
    other dubs. Lub-dub.
  44. the hidden heart
    Beneath the hard shell,
    a faint ticking could be heard
    whenever she smiled.
  45. cheap and dirty
    Piles of merchandise
    wait to be adopted, then
    thrown in the garbage.
  46. a dog, a cat, an exit
    The kitchen floor still
    has rings where their supper bowls
    held their attention.
  47. draft epitaph
    Father, husband, son,
    scoundrel, drunk, beggar, drifter,
    human. Rest in peace.
  48. a waking nightmare
    His eyes opened, and
    she was gone. Never had a
    dream seemed so lifelike.
  49. before sunrise
    He scanned the foggy
    horizon, searching for … he
    wasn’t quite certain.
  50. quadruple life
    Her heart belonged to
    art and people and crafting
    and passions unknown.
  51. hidden in the beginning
    Evil monster is
    lame. (yawn) She’s unseemly czar,
    known sociopath.
  52. cardiojacking
    Knock knock. Get out of
    my heart. (pause) Oh, you can stay
    a little longer.
  53. they dared intimacy
    When he was naked
    and vulnerable, she held
    him ever so tight.
  54. the intersections that matter
    The path isn’t clear.
    We may choose a direction,
    but wander astray.
  55. duty and honor
    We could do better
    by our vets, living or dead.
    Today, tomorrow.
  56. as they should be
    Fate is fickle and
    unkind. She leads us to hope
    disguised as dead ends.
  57. foolish and free
    Soon, others joined the
    movement, not caring about
    societal norms.
  58. modern coupling
    No proposal, but
    registered at the pawn shop
    and the brewery.
  59. dual torches
    We used our phones as
    flashlights, stepping cautiously
    along the cliff face.
  60. stripped bare
    Without pretense or
    even thought, the lone figure
    began days anew.
  61. how campaigns are won
    Dirty deals in back
    rooms while smiling and laughing
    for the citizens.
  62. cure all
    The potion hadn’t
    been tested. Who knew what side
    effects would bite back?
  63. humid enough for ya
    Face, neck, brow lousy
    with sweat. Even indoors. With
    air conditioning.
  64. 73 ways to make introverts squirm
    So many reports
    on introverts makes me want
    to hide somewhere dark.
  65. famous last words
    Fortune favors the
    bold. Who dares wins. God helps those
    who help themselves. Charge!
  66. nowhere to go but
    In the pit of deep
    despair, every direction
    leads upward and out.
  67. you are the product
    What you click, what you
    share, what you read, you are a
    hot commodity.
  68. a spare arm or leg
    The starfish doesn’t
    know he has an odd number
    of appendages.
  69. of pegs and holes
    Would you ever read
    the instruction manual
    for a new sweetheart?
  70. e-pen to e-paper
    I always thought my
    first book would be about love
    or haiku. It’s not.
  71. you gotta see the baby
    Newborns achieve wild
    instant fame through their unpaid
    phone paparazzi.
  72. the extended solo
    He played and riffed till
    his fingers ached. Fading out
    into a silence.
  73. almost all grown up
    By the time the old
    traveler settled down, he
    embraced adulthood.
  74. rise of the cyber impostors
    Online, everyone
    is me and I am hidden
    among the fakers.
  75. branch dressing
    Tendrils snag any
    low-hanging limb, tangoing
    their way to the sky.
  76. condition clear, condition red
    A furious wave
    of panic rose within, then
    left. Trembling remains.
  77. the power of the power pen
    The ideas the
    words tumbled forth pouring waves
    of unwieldy prose.
  78. in the bones
    The weariness of
    existence permeated
    his flagging body.
  79. the stories we tell ourselves
    The stories we tell
    ourselves have the most cruel and
    misleading outcomes.
  80. a meadow afar
    Dappled fields glisten
    with careless splatters of dew
    as the morning wakes.
  81. this is freedom
    A blistering hot
    summer day, walking to the
    mini-mart carefree.
  82. we are all voyeurs
    Peeking into the
    lives of others, laughing, in
    shock, judging, with scorn.
  83. a common tongue
    Whether through laughter,
    food, music or alcohol,
    we bond with others.
  84. the slope of no return
    The faint ant of a
    climber hugged the bump on the
    marble of the Earth.
  85. the ruins in progress
    The aging house gave
    up the fight, part by creaking
    part, and no one saw.
  86. a notion of the past
    Those who fail to learn
    the lessons of history
    are oblivious.
  87. timer tyranny
    The countdown left no
    room for second guessing, just
    for precise action.
  88. down at the laundry hole
    Jeans go for a swim
    in cool suds. Shirts bob, and odd
    socks play hide and seek.
  89. down by half
    Half a year flies by,
    and with it, half the hopes and
    dreams we had in mind.
  90. freedom without responsibility
    What would it mean to
    roam without a care, a thought,
    a plan for living?
  91. more fun than a barrel of pixels
    The entertainment
    center needed only a
    lamp, chair, stack of books.
  92. narrative pulse
    The pages would flip
    by more rapidly as we
    neared the chapter’s end.
  93. society under glass
    What is freedom when
    we face surveillance online
    and everywhere else?
  94. caught looking ahead
    The moment of the
    present was interrupted
    by future what-ifs.
  95. a personal space that is not entirely unhappy
    circle repels the wailing
    of spoiled sad sacks.
  96. mists of midsummer
    Little feet hopped the
    sprinkler, unaware of the
    light rain trickling down.
  97. that look in their eyes
    In their heads, they are
    counting the days till the next
    holiday from work.
  98. the minute hand askew
    Terminally late,
    the prince of the suburbs huffed
    out of breath to work.
  99. on the road 2013
    Jack Kerouac would
    never get lost as long as as
    his smartphone has bars.
  100. the futures that never came
    fueled anxiety and a
    nagging sense of doom.
  101. an external bug
    The toddler undid
    hours of work with a mere
    lick of the laptop.

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