Wade on Birmingham

Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 45


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  1. a very special election
    It’s shocking what a
    few hundred thousand voters
    can achieve as one.
  2. elfcare
    Santa’s workers bled
    and toiled while breathing in
    sawdust and benzene.
  3. the wretched tale of retail
    The mall is dying
    a death by a thousand clicks
    for online shopping.
  4. home surveillance
    To wreck our right to
    privacy, Elf on the Shelf
    can’t beat Alexa.
  5. the endless space opera
    It ain’t over till
    the Wookiee growls and the droids
    beep at each other.
  6. everyday contrivances
    The writer seeks an
    adventure while strolling, a
    hero while snooping.
  7. run-down town
    The run-down town with
    the run-down park and run-down
    school and run-down kids.
  8. old man comes a’callin’
    Dreary visitor
    settles in for a long un-
    welcome appointment.
  9. overheard in the next car
    Ashamed and brittle,
    the passenger belted out
    insult after insult.
  10. not the santa I know
    He gets a little
    wound up getting ready for
    a lap around Earth.
  11. winter warmup special
    A big bucket of
    hot cocoa with marshmallows
    the size of a fist.
  12. the unselfish season
    Dare we remember
    the reason for the season,
    thinking of others.
  13. in anticipation of being all grown up
    She would dream of get-
    ting older, filling out her
    curves, dating, driving.
  14. the re-wrappening
    Gifts that were almost
    good enough headed to those
    houses less worthy.
  15. describe 2017
    Kleptocracy. Sex
    monsters. Women’s movement. And
    Russian collusion.
  16. the fluidity of the moment
    Time marches to its
    own mysterious beat:
    tick, pause pause pause, tock.
  17. middle option freestyling
    Thanks, Fort Lauderdale,
    and I’ll take you up for the
    day at your house or
  18. the final score
    Was it a year of
    missed opportunities or
    big life-changing moves?
  19. mmxviii
    Three hundred sixty-
    five chances to find love and
    fulfillment ahead.
  20. squirrel in the engine
    A stowaway stayed
    warm by the engine block at
    10 mph.
  21. regrets, she’s had a few
    Her life flashed before
    her eyes, a tangle of loves
    and not speaking up.
  22. a bitter pill unswallowed
    Rancor and mistakes
    of a career gone by spring
    forth with purest bile.
  23. appetizing formula
    Basic equation
    of bread and oil yields a
    complex expression.
  24. deep state of the union
    The bureaucracy
    hums along with nary a
    care in the world. (wink)
  25. backup doorbells
    One chime sends the dog
    barking and the other one
    yelping in alarm.
  26. the lost shipment
    Every package ends
    up somewhere, but not always
    the right where. Nightmare.
  27. tribal customs
    Fandom brings us all
    together but also keeps
    us far, far apart.
  28. caste systems
    Give us your tired,
    your poor. We need them to fuel
    this corrupted realm.
  29. retail restlessness
    The walk-in by a
    customer slightly lessens
    the rampant boredom.
  30. see rocks in the city
    A fake mountainside
    begs me to hug it closely
    while ascending it.
  31. catch it!
    Influenza, or
    what the kids call it now, “the
    flu,” it’s gone … viral.
  32. a cure for the unexpected
    An acute case of
    irony deficiency
    needs only bluntness.
  33. extended hibernation
    With the icy wind
    and bitter cold, we find our
    shelter in plush quilts.
  34. to get more candy bars
    Boys go to Jupi-
    ter to get more stupider.
    Girls go to Mars …
  35. severe management alert
    The threat of snow is
    an excuse for the working
    class to shun labor.
  36. the hole proverb
    People who live in
    glass dictatorships shouldn’t
    throw stones. (Or insults.)
  37. kids’ marathon
    Endless wailing for
    McDonald’s for 26
    minutes in the car.
  38. mt. inadequacy
    Testing each foothold
    while climbing the great indoors
    1 yard off the mat.
  39. double trouble
    I met another
    me the other day. Kinda
    strange if you ask me.
  40. the x factor
    No bumps in the road
    until a giant pothole
    derails everything.
  41. the dearest of dunderheads
    Prattling with close pals:
    Familiarity breeds
    hilarity. Ha!
  42. facing the rock
    Hold on even though
    fingers are aching, muscles
    are straining. Upward.
  43. skyscrappers
    Women hold up half
    the sky, nearly crushed by the
    weight of oppression.
  44. the nightly celebration
    Back yards with clinking
    glasses, strings of lights dangling
    from limbs, gunfire.
  45. away with words
    The narrator sped
    up so fast that paragraphs
    had to be gulped whole.
  46. lives in boxes
    Her DVDs, his
    books, their cutlery, plus a
    few old memories.
  47. the alarm that cried ‘wolf’
    No one ran for the
    exits. Smoke filled the hallway.
    Flames lapped the ceiling.
  48. to make amends
    Go forth, with heart in
    hand, seeking forgiveness but
    expecting nothing.
  49. liquid disposition
    One more slug. That’s all
    I need to make it through the
    day, to numb my pain.
  50. it even has a weird pronunciation
    Precious daylight in
    short supply. Someone has to
    be the mini month.
  51. the reluctant rodent
    A shadow holds the
    entire hemisphere in
    its icy power.
  52. in pursuit of love
    Maybe it’s behind
    that tree, or inside that old
    café. Keep looking.
  53. the welcoming dank
    An abandoned place
    for hardy and foolhardy
    misfits to explore.
  54. knew attitude
    A rebirth within
    my own skin liberates me.
    Zero fucks given.
  55. lost in time
    Recapture glory?
    But nostalgia is poison.
    We must move forward.
  56. the unfashionable stairwell
    The crew removed the
    broken escalator step
    by step by step by …
  57. fifth-wave feminism
    Tools for ladies. Shoes
    for ladies. Potato chips
    for ladies. Not men!
  58. the introvert’s guide to rsvp’s
    No answer means no.
    No means no. Maybe means no.
    Yes? Probably not.
  59. the two koreas
    Hopeful, scared. Urbane,
    withdrawn. Planning, reaction-
    ary. Hand in hand.
  60. the marathon
    More women rush past
    the starting line with hopes of
    being elected.
  61. the power of then
    The past has a hold
    on us stronger than any
    debt or blood promise.
  62. write down seven times
    Not every first draft
    leads to a meaningful book
    or flowing sonnet.
  63. so many flavors of love
    Passionate. Endless.
    Platonic. Codependent.
    Mutual. Selfless.
  64. field guide to homo sapiens
    Do not interact.
    Merely observe. Gaze deeply
    into human hearts.
  65. till the muffler gives out
    Sputters and lurches
    make for a troubled ride on
    a car’s last journey.
  66. the hunt for ice cream
    The fluffiness. The
    sharp delight of an untried
    flavor. Frosty joy.
  67. the call of duty for a 10-year-old
    Who made that lone child
    the human shield for his class
    -mates? He volunteered.
  68. the invisible receptionist
    Only a ghost haunts
    the abandoned desk at the
    front of the office.
  69. the all-spin zone
    The humble snowboard
    sends riders high into the
    sky with bold panache.
  70. the comeback
    Her knees rebuilt. Her
    arm fractured. Ready to ski
    at full tilt boogie.
  71. the devilish landlord
    Beat the tenants. Break
    the leases. Ignore the gripes.
    Holler for the checks.
  72. cautiously optimistic
    Keeping the champagne
    in storage while watching each
    small step for progress.
  73. the plain bus stop
    No shelter, no bench,
    just a patch of dirt next to
    a sun-bleached marker.
  74. the five rings
    Let the continents
    of people rejoice in games
    and good sportsmanship.
  75. when one becomes two
    She would face the day
    with a bit more grit and a
    heap of wistfulness.
  76. intelligence quotient
    We know more than we
    let on, and sometimes a whole
    lot less than we should.
  77. the price of johnny’s soul
    What is the devil
    doing with a gaudy gold
    fiddle anyway?
  78. eternal precipitation
    the ground is damp the
    house is damp the dog is damp
    the shoes are muddy
  79. an awkward hollywood minute
    The stars shone on the
    red carpet, burning with rage
    at their mistreatment.
  80. oscar haiku 2018

    splish splash
    Tale as old as time:
    Girl meets fish. Girl boinks fish. Girl
    goes off the deep end.

  81. evasion of the body snatchers
    White people are so-o-o-o-o
    possessive. Black lives matter
    in the sunken place.

    ebbing and flouting
    She spelled it out on
    the rural route. Justice now!
    Somehow. Burma-Shave.

    sand trap
    We shall film on the
    beaches. We shall film in the
    hills. No surrender.

    that’s no lady — that’s my life
    Not about the first
    lady nor Hank Hill’s bloodhound
    on “King of the Hill.”

  82. red carpet 2018
    Who are you wearing?
    How did you approach your role?
    What jerk harassed you?
  83. serenade of horns
    That one car blocking
    the whole intersection while
    tying up traffic.
  84. the power of fear
    It either keeps us
    from doing what is needed
    or immobilized.
  85. commandeer in chief
    My hair is stupid.
    I hire crooks and liars.
    Make me President.
  86. with cinema and marvel for all
    I pledge allegiance
    to Black Panther. Wakanda
    forever. Amen.
  87. seething with joy
    The gift was a joke,
    which became a trojan horse
    for a bigger joke.
  88. the woofers play
    Two pups circle each
    other while a third explores
    a left tennis shoe.
  89. the storms of connection
    Arm in arm, they shared
    an umbrella, not letting
    rain or cold stop them.
  90. black swans and unicorns
    The petting zoo had
    just black swans and unicorns,
    nothing to cuddle.
  91. she draws you
    The charcoal pencil
    reveals a fragile soul in
    the piles of wrinkles.
  92. kids do the darndest things
    Make signs, shout slogans,
    fight violence, participate
    in democracy.
  93. on intelligence
    Some is good, extra
    can’t hurt, less artificial
    and more natural.
  94. personality test 2018
    Someone’s Netflix queue,
    their Instagram profile pic
    or their latte tastes.
  95. leprechaun in training
    She has the vape pen
    and the tattered hat, but lost
    her pot o’ bitcoin.
  96. mechanical malfeasance
    A simple oil
    change turned into an all-too-
    quick tune-up shakedown.
  97. a poisonous hope
    Holding out for a
    better ending, waiting for
    a great tomorrow.
  98. a malady for all seasons
    Spring fever leads to
    summer strokes, fall vertigo
    and winter frostbite.
  99. who tells our stories?
    The storyteller
    is as important as the
    style, plot and pacing.
  100. temporary spring cleaning
    To throw out stuff to
    make room for more stuff in the
    space for all our stuff.
  101. seasonal malaise
    The pollen coats the
    air, while the germs take over
    the grubby wee hands.
  102. till today do us part
    They couldn’t break their
    bonds cleanly, settling for
    a messy divorce.

• • •

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1 Yip for “Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 45”

  1. Wade on Birmingham » #sundayread for March 25, 2018
    Sunday, March 25, 2018, 12:05 am

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