Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 46
By Wade Kwon[Share on Twitter]
- children’s crusade 2018
With signs and guts, they
marched, let down by grownups but
ready for action. - how to sell more guns
Guns in schools. Guns in
churches. Guns in hospitals.
Gun in underwear. - dad’s seat
Though a place was set,
the chair at the head of the
table was empty. - the frozen coffeehouse
Keep the thermostat
at 58 degrees to
sell more hot java. - the surveillance state
Wiretaps in our
pockets, on our desks, in our
cars and soon, our brains. - a conspiracy of dunces
Promises to the
poor, favors to the rich, but
beholden to none. - out like a ham
The silly toddler
couldn’t resist a giggle
before his bedtime. - disappearing act
After a 3-day
entombment, he went upstairs
to save mankind. - science under husband
A bloated mass of
gases and occasional
grunts for sustenance. - everyone is average
About yay tall and
so-so looks with a boring
personality. - run the numbers
Add the figures through
last quarter and divide by
made-up integers. - steps to ignominy
Electric slide on
down to boogie wonderland
for popping, locking. - reflective secrets
Their hushed whisperings
revealed as much as if they
shouted to the world. - no man is an island
Friendships come, but most
often go, withering from
both time and distance. - permanent binge
TVs playing all
prestige shows throughout the day
and night till we croak. - user era
The phones are getting
smarter while the phonies are
getting dumberer. - free-range adults
Men and women roam
without the tether of small
screens and loud alerts. - dinner in 60
Some days, the biggest
challenge is hitting Start
on the damn microwave. - the component of tomorrow
Protein comes from shakes,
snack bars, powders, supplements
and sometimes meat, fish. - fortunate cookies
The luckiest folks
never notice when their luck
runs completely out. - re-re-re-routing
The errant package
visited several states
before being trashed. - forever young
We reward elders
with neglect, abuse, contempt,
and substandard care. - trucker’s mirage
The exit ramp floats
by, as waves of headlights burn
in all directions. - eyes on the prized
Today, celebrate
the best writers. Tomorrow,
back to the keyboard. - bred and circumcisions
No time for a full
cut, so how about just a
little off the top? - callbacks next week
The audition went
well enough to warrant a
second try to shine. - electric you and i
No resistance as
the current flows through us, a
tingling sensation. - binge mentality
Please shovel content
to me before I figure
out this show is crap. - under the operatic force
A highly trained group
of divas and tenors armed
with high notes and low. - a motion picture is worth a thousand words
Why watch the movie
when the Wikipedia
recap is better? - of the moment
The past is a safe
space, except when filled with dark
trauma and regret. - fixer upper downer
Under the carpet
is worn wood, and below that,
a layer of bugs. - honeymoon distractions
Thank you notes to be
written, gifts to be exchanged
and a cake to freeze. - bashing dragons
The wee knight took up
arms against fire-breathing
foes in the forest. - grok talk
The best words come from
languages of the fertile
imagination. - toothpicks and shot cups
Free samples are my
jam. Load me up with bite-size
morsels without end. - every waiting room ever
A musty stack of
magazines no one reads yet
thoroughly perused. - kneeling friend
Arise, Sir Keeps Her
Under the Umbrella and
Kills All the Roaches. - holy wit
If only the staid
preachers were as funny as
the church signs outside. - a spoiler-free experience
Don’t read reviews that
reveal Rosebud is a sled
or Gwyneth’s boxed head. - to-don’t list, heavily revised
Something something swear
off booze. Forget birthdays. Drive
really carefully. - on the sliver screen
Take an Imax hit.
reduce it to 2-D, slap
it on a smartphone. - the lost girl
Tears in her eyes, she
stumbled round the playground to
find her missing mom. - the prat signal
And we shall know the
pious through their bright ribbons
and virtuous tweets. - gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow
The two most common
management styles are passive
and, well, aggressive. - dry heat is a myth
A furnace blast of
hell’s halitosis roasts skin
and ignites children. - circumstances of our own making
Trapped at a dinner
party. Painful swollen gums.
Stuck with bald tires. - the year they stopped making magazines
About seven years
before I arrived at this
quiet waiting room. - chore dice
Water shelves. Vacuum
bed. Wash living room. Polish
garbage. Roll again. - the four-minute radiator tutorial
The mechanic checks
YouTube again to make sure
he’s doing it right. - one-sided correspondence
Stationery, stamps
and pens, but no time to string
together the words. - mining the past, screwing the future
Reboots require
a syrupy nostalgia
overwhelming all else. - the fraught lot
Musical chairs, but
with many cars and also
limited parking. - pre-bread
Knead the dough, but not
so much that it turns into
a glutenous mass. - the weakened weekend
A light agenda
crippled by sickness, fatigue
and bouts of nausea. - shortcuts to madness
Do we need to life-
hack our way to paradise
or can we relax? - the reviewer’s curse
Sifting through the good,
bad and mediocre can
diminish delight. - chamber of horrors
Trapped inside the car
with an angry wasp speeding
through a red stop light. - all-you-can-infect buffet
No sneeze guard can shield
you from grubby hands and a
smorgasbord of germs. - loyalty has its limits
Standing up for the
haters. Calling out buddies.
It’s not a good look. - little women 2018
They form a fashion
clique on Instagram and sell
makeup sponsorships. - the rhyme directive
Let some choice words flow
with ability to grow
like a goddamn pro. - unrighteous fury
Why feed anger when
it won’t last, it won’t help and
it won’t solve a thing? - the evolution of leisure time
Hiking, swimming, films,
shooting hoops, camping out. And
now, screens, screens, screens, screens. - some gave all
How to pay tribute
to the fallen: Put an end
to war forever. - glowing screens and strewn toys
From the shadows, we
peek into the windows of
staid suburbia. - fix hearing
The truth comes out in
muted unpleasantries and
tiny blunted jabs. - the rubber straggler
Three tires in a
perfect rolling harmony.
One singing flatter. - the fix-it guy
Coming by to see
an underwater mortgage
and a gassy dog. - cruising in oblivious
Remaining untouched
by those with concerns, problems
or minutiae. - gray-colored glasses
Fixated on the
minute-to-minute struggle
to keep on breathing. - voluntary book burning
Those who don’t read for
pleasure have brain cells stuck in
neutral. Poor dumb things. - queen lear
She offers her three
sons a beachfront timeshare and
goes mad as moms do. - fairy tales for the unimaginative
A servant cleans the
house with stupendous effort.
A dog talks in barks. - formula for a best-seller
String words together
in powerful sentences.
Repeat till novel. - rip tony
Chef turned author and
ambassador, seeking great
eats and real people. - the office potluck
Chips, tortilla chips,
dip, potato salad and
12 kinds of desserts. - dud weight
The lump in the next
cubicle spends time on the
clock wasting good air. - the soft touch
Browbeating the point
pushes away. Asking and
demonstrating works. - kids’ weekday summer morning matinee
A tornado of
popcorn and giggles destroys
the run-down lobby. - aiming for a june weeding
The ceremony
takes place outdoors in a tall
thicket of back yard. - make culture great again
Take your poisonous
nostalgia, weave it into
new clumps of old thoughts. - rituals
Put on some coffee.
Flip idly through a smartphone.
Awaken within. - the excuse machine
Nobody is more
efficient at deflection
than the manager. - ones and zeros and wonders
Can they automate
the brain, its myriad ways
of complex thinking? - good enough for the japanese
America puts her
children in timeout, known as
concentration camps. - almost liquid
“Boba tea is gross,”
he said, adding peanuts to
his bottle of Coke. - stepping forward
Precision rhythm,
sick moves, a squad of highly
talented young men. - just another day in america
Children locked up as
political prisoners
in chain link cages. - that which binds us
We are more than our
ideologies, more than
our limited views. - summer sprinkle
A few drops from an
indifferent sky upon
a brownish landscape. - the ice cream van
It offers only
two flavors, and both of them
are vanilla-based. - a pit and a mountain
Despair seems like both
a pit and a mountain. Let’s
climb out and over. - make america civil again
The brutes declare that
we must endure oppression
much more politely. - holier than thou
A country founded
on religious freedom shuts
its doors to Muslims. - the package plant
Human drones flitter
from shelf to shelf to send so
much junk to shoppers. - the tyranny of the new
New is better, new
is thrilling, new is vibrant.
Old is discarded. - digital dig
Archeologists
of the future will study
our pics, open tabs. - the reality of omnipresent recording devices
Everything we say,
everything we do captured
for vile eavesdroppers. - the tapping foot giveaway
A still demeanor
with a restless energy
in a bouncing knee. - literary expiration date
His fans fervently
hoped he’d complete the novels
before he perished.
• • •
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Sunday, July 8, 2018, 12:06 am
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