Wade on Birmingham

Author Archive

the 12 days of no mas

Thursday, October 1st, 2015

The station’s Christmas
music played from September
till … I burned it down.

• • •

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The Future of Birmingham: 5-7-5

Wednesday, September 30th, 2015
Parking spiral

Photo: Patrick Cain (CC)

Get more essays from more contributors in our free ebook.
Details at the end.

The Two Ms. Davises

The Future of BirminghamWander block by block
to meet residents held back
by artlessness, fear.

The schools drive away
people. The politics drive
away people, too.

Only the stubborn
and the impoverished stay
behind, fate be damned.

They need their city
to be more than it is, to
be kinder, safer.

They need some steady
income, and a way to get
around easily.

The townsfolk campaign
for new leaders, not the crooks
who line their pockets.

Let Ms. Davis take
charge, they say. She’ll stand up for
our community.

Reluctantly, Ms.
Davis agrees, though her job
and kids rule her days.

“Mayor Davis Wins!”
the headlines read. City Hall
welcomes its new chief.

She fixes potholes,
fields complaints, cuts taxes and
works past 11.

The voters keep tabs
on the mayor, who always
looks out for their needs.

Her teen daughters and
little boy see her only
on TV at night.

The eldest stays with
a friend for weeks. The middle
child’s grades soon plummet.

And the youngest gets
into fights at school, so the
principal calls Mom.

The municipal
house is in order, barely.
Her house is a wreck.

“Mayor Davis Quits!”
the headlines read. City Hall
loses its old boss.

She gathers her brood
into a sweeping hug and
holds on for dear life.

Madame Mayor goes
back to humble matriarch,
putting kids to bed.

Her civic progress
was quickly undone. All the
neighbors wailed and moaned.

Ms. Davis served out
her real term to her three-child
constituency.

• • •

The Future of BirminghamEssays from other contributors are available in the free ebook, “The Future of Birmingham.”

All you need to do is fill out this simple form. We’ll email you a link to download the book. (And, at no extra charge, we’ll add you to the mailing list for the free Y’all Connect newsletter.)

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• • •

Read more essays in our special 10th anniversary series, The Future of Birmingham.

life in the future

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Phones without backups
and stolen identities
and dead batteries.

• • •

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The Birmingham channel: Flights of fancy

Monday, September 28th, 2015

A look at Birmingham in videos …

Visiting the African Village in America display in the Woodland Park neighborhood. From Komodosnow.

Flying to Birmingham for a fun outing. From David Granberry.

Taking the Tour de Hops brewery bike tour on Sept. 5. From Nathania Nhouyvanisvong.

A nighttime trip to Vulcan. From Spa Guy.

Basketball workout at Samford’s gym. From Derrick Jones.

Birmingham-Southern College cross country season opener in September. From Sharks Soccer.

Britain’s Oxford Pharmaceuticals breaks ground in Birmingham on its U.S. headquarters. From Alabama NewsCenter.

Chicago singer-songwriter Jennifer Hall sings “Baby, It’s You” in August at the Nick on Southside. From JennHallMusic.

California norteño band Los Tigres del Norte performs at Rancho el Centenario in Mt. Olive. From tdb313.

“What Do You Think of the Fountain?” asks people about Frank Fleming’s sculpture the Storyteller in Five Points South. From AlexanderSoundsLike.

Atlanta singer-songwriter Liz Brasher performs “Old Bones” at Renaissance Records in Five Points South (our vertical video of the week). From Liz Brasher.

Downtown dancing. From Wally Chung.

Hoop for Fitness holds a September Flow Fusion event at Veterans Park in Hoover. From Carron Bullard.

The first round of the Magic City Mega Bowl disc golf tournament in June at the Inverness Disc Golf Course in Hoover. From the Disc Golf Channel.

Chris Brown performs “Take You Down” in September at Oak Mountain Amphitheatre in Pelham. From Chris Brown.

Staring down Satchel Paige from the plate at the Negro Southern League Museum. From Alabama NewsCenter.

Nashville Americana band Runaway Home performs “Dreams” in August as part of the Small Stages concert series. From Runaway Home Band.

A 10-mile bike ride through downtown Birmingham. From Katie Boyd.

Welcome to fall, inside the car (our square video of the week). From Otis Bridges.

Cars and Coffee at Brookwood Village (our other vertical video of the week). From ZachPlaysPC.

Drone footage of Railroad Park. From Paul Cammarata.

The Brickyard: “Lester Kasai and Jim Gray were in town for a Gotcha street demo (in 1988) at a local mall, and we took them out to the ramp afterwards.” From Andrew Birdwell.

Birmingham city council member Steven Hoyt criticizes al.com community coverage. From citycouncilbham.

A look at the civil rights movement called “Battle for Birmingham.” From Christopher Carmody.

New York singer-songwriter Prince Royce opens for Ariana Grande last week at Legacy Arena. From Maria Avellaneda.

Chimney swifts downtown. From Ray Howze.

Promo for the Slay the Runway Total Look Competition fund-raiser for Pathways in November at Boutwell Auditorium. From Mimi Luvshair.

A slice of life, including a trip to the top of the Children’s of Alabama parking deck. From allGODbuddy LLC.

Birthday party, complete with DJ and dancing. From Bill Prince.

Hanging out at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. From Mindless Reviews.

Promo for Saturday’s Fiesta. From Orlando Rosa.

Music video for “Patient Time” from Birmingham alt-rock band Nat B. and the Boys. From Kilzo Films.

• • •

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Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective 36

Monday, September 28th, 2015

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  1. rehearsals, day 17
    He would speak into
    the remote for hours. The
    dog was not impressed.
  2. just another day in the walmart parking lot
    Wrong-way Willie went
    barreling up the one-way
    lane dodging shoppers.
  3. the reset button
    Push it and start all
    over. Push it and wipe those
    cares away. Push it.
  4. the alpha and the part that comes after alpha
    That half of the year
    went by so quickly that this
    half will surely drag.
  5. after solving the artist royalties problem
    Taylor Swift fixed my
    iPhone at the Genius Bar
    while singing “Bad Blood.”
  6. driving to fun park usa
    Junior and Little
    Miss stare at the streaming flick
    while Mom stays alert.
  7. magic in the library
    Each shelf held the key
    to worlds unexplored and dreams
    and nightmares and frogs.
  8. missing mutt
    He felt a dog-sized
    hole in his life with an ache
    for a wagging tail.
  9. l-o-v-e in the u-s-a
    No court, no law can
    stop the force of love as it
    spreads from heart to heart.
  10. dear brutus
    The fault lies not in
    our stars but in ourselves, that
    we are underlings.
  11. the middle is always chaos
    The start looks like fun,
    and the end looks perfect but
    far off. Keep going.
  12. this is going to be the best half-year ever
    Lose 10 pounds, join a
    book club, eat healthier, watch
    “Game of Thrones,” try meth.
  13. the prison explosion
    Time to figure out
    who we’re mad at and who we’re
    really afraid of.
  14. firecracker follies
    Bang! Pop! Rat-a-tat-
    tat! Up and down the street boom
    the sounds of freedom.
  15. this land is our land
    America smokes
    pot, marries anyone and
    plays so much soccer.
  16. littlest victories
    Odometer rolls
    and the 12th free sandwich and
    palindromic times.
  17. flying fingers
    The violinist
    practiced to make performing
    look so effortless.
  18. from cradle to bigger cradle
    Helicopter mom
    and dad kept Junior tethered
    long past puberty.
  19. back of the industrial park
    Freight slipped onto docks
    unnoticed, cargo bound for
    here or overseas.
  20. lost in the grind
    I can crunch numbers
    or test theories, but my best
    side is creative.
  21. the stash
    Frozen balls of dough
    turn any sad day into
    fresh-baked cookie time.
  22. a state of limbo
    A life that is full
    and empty, blessed with friends but
    without constant love.
  23. melt into the sidewalk
    The dog just ambles
    and pants, dragging the leash and
    human in the heat.
  24. the power of nerds
    Postmodern culture,
    a mashup of comic books
    and highbrow humor.
  25. box office heroes of summer 2015
    Dinosaurs, Mad Max,
    the Avengers, Minions and
    a girl’s emotions.
  26. less comprehension in less time
    Words flash faster and
    faster, books and novels speed
    by the keen reader.
  27. writer’s blech
    What is the term for
    trying to write but held back
    by lack of talent?
  28. even majorities are minorities
    Everyone’s a vic-
    tim, everyone else is to
    blame, martyrs for life.
  29. the anxious mind
    A churn of worries
    that never comes to pass in
    a state of alarm.
  30. follicle frolic
    Hair grows so subtly
    you can barely feel it ooze
    out of your scalp holes.
  31. armed with popcorn and candy
    The kids scrambled to
    their seats to escape the heat
    with movie magic.
  32. citations no extra charge
    Inspiration comes
    from the unlikeliest spots,
    like term paper sites.
  33. make room for hashtags, too
    The Library of
    Congress must build shelves to store
    tweets and emoji.
  34. not hot enough for that
    The gluten-free ice
    cream truck circled round the block
    with zero takers.
  35. fast asleep in the urban jungle
    Car alarm at 2
    a.m.: Let me sing you the
    song of my people.
  36. little girl lost
    A voice, distinct and
    true, silenced too soon by a
    misguided lifestyle.
  37. friday evening downpour
    Skies darken, thunder
    erupts and sheets of rain wash
    the earth thoroughly.
  38. among the charlatans
    A sense of purpose
    may never ring true yet can
    guide us to safety.
  39. the neighborhood crank
    A loner with an
    agenda finds almost no
    support for changes.
  40. concrete rain
    Bits of freeway fell
    in storms of debris as cars
    shook the bridges loose.
  41. the pizza accords
    First party agrees
    to extra cheese, while second
    party requests ham.
  42. the meltening
    The molecular
    structure of all things breaks down
    in this goddamn heat.
  43. shuffle off this mortal coil? check.
    The to-do list will
    never be done. The good news
    is we’ll all be dead.
  44. the longest con
    Living a robust
    perpetual denial
    about growing old.
  45. annual assigned reading 3-day cram session
    IfIhurryI-
    canreadallmysummerbooks-
    beforeschoolstartsback.
  46. a town without a watchdog
    Graft flowed to outstretched
    hands, while the downtrodden fought
    for their measly crumbs.
  47. early onset adulthood
    When spouses become
    singles. When daughters become
    caretakers. And on.
  48. beyond needs fulfilled
    What gives you pleasure?
    Is it intellectual,
    physical or more?
  49. settling in by the pool
    A tall iced tea and
    a glossy magazine was
    all she required.
  50. as seen on body cams everywhere
    The thin blue line is
    spattered with blood red streaks and
    black-and-blue lesions.
  51. the poison of nostalgia
    Living in the past
    seems to be the drug of choice
    among lost people.
  52. the skim
    Each dawn brings a fresh
    opportunity to fleece
    everybody else.
  53. liquid butter cut-off
    Summer ends when we
    run out of blockbuster flicks
    to watch with popcorn.
  54. not quite ready for the bell
    Reluctant pupils
    enter the classroom with heads
    full of fireflies.
  55. long after graduation
    The gossip girls shared
    conspiratorial laughs
    in the locker room.
  56. stillness along the ocean
    She looked out onto
    the gulf one last time, ready
    for the next voyage.
  57. a good mom
    Nothing would keep her
    from scolding, feeding, reading
    to, raising her girls.
  58. the festival of fall approaches
    A carnival of
    colorful trees and hazy
    nights heads for our block.
  59. every saturday over coffee and carburetors
    The parking lot filled
    with classic hot rods, gearheads
    and fans of sweet rides.
  60. sensation of singing
    The lyrics rolled by
    on monitors for us to
    belt out tipsily.
  61. fourth wave feminism
    Ladies choose to be
    objectors, objectified,
    their bodies their selves.
  62. emoji nation
    We started out with
    Shakespeare and ended with a
    suggestive eggplant.
  63. chores, then domination
    I’ll be ready to
    conquer the world as soon as
    I wash the dishes.
  64. the most awkward sales pitch ever
    It comes with something …
    let me ask my manager
    and not call you back.
  65. a reasonable exit strategy
    Put down the empty
    glass and slip out the back door
    with hoarded brownies.
  66. the cost of fame
    He made a deal with
    the devil, then acted shocked
    at the devil’s scam.
  67. misanthropic awakening
    The more you get to
    know people, the more you want
    to crawl back in bed.
  68. jersey sore
    The coach yells at the
    team. The players run their drills.
    Practice never ends.
  69. dare defend
    Fields of cotton, lush
    forests, manmade lakes, kind hearts
    in Alabama.
  70. shop and chop
    The big dinner needs
    sliced and diced vegetables and
    meats at the ready.
  71. proration 2015
    It’s the second week
    of school, and they’re already
    out of chalk and milk.
  72. dinner party achievement unlocked
    The satisfaction
    from a well-cooked gourmet meal,
    but mostly fullness.
  73. scattered but not forgotten
    Refugees from the
    storm found new homes far from the
    shores of destruction.
  74. the wandering governor
    He flew across the
    land with his wife sometimes and
    his mistress sometimes.
  75. twisted mobility
    The scooter helped her
    up and down the hall, if not
    back on her own feet.
  76. harvest of shame
    The biggest garden
    foe was not cat nor bunny
    but incompetence.
  77. electoral collage
    They rigged the ballot
    so only predetermined
    elites could win votes.
  78. the farm’s last stand
    The last jar of peach
    preserves and basket of plump
    tomatoes has sold.
  79. and don’t forget thursdays
    Friday night is for
    football, as is Saturday,
    Sunday and Monday.
  80. work-life balance
    First comes work, then comes
    life, and bringing up the rear
    is balance. Then … death.
  81. shells
    The exterior
    hides everything — joy, sadness,
    pain — within ourselves.
  82. mired in perceptions
    Paranoia bears
    a strong resemblance to a
    nonstop awareness.
  83. left to our own devices
    We can do almost
    anything we put our minds
    to, except focus.
  84. a post-9/11 world
    More patriotic,
    more alert, more fearful, more
    wary, more grateful.
  85. smiles for meters
    Is happiness a
    constant? A pool that slowly
    drains? A deep, deep font?
  86. the strain of babysitting pupils
    Fights stopped: Around 5.
    Phones confiscated: 13.
    Lessons taught: 0.
  87. before you know it it’s mlk day
    It’s time for Hallo
    weenThanksgivingVeterans
    DayChristmasNewYear’s.
  88. the sweetest orchard
    Harvesting from the
    candied apple tree, wearing
    gloves and sneaking bites.
  89. digital scrapbooking
    My jukebox: YouTube.
    My photo album: Facebook.
    My memory: Shot.
  90. golden ghouls
    The grandmas on the
    block like to dress scarily
    for shakes and giggles.
  91. the real bogeymen
    We act out of fear
    to protect ourselves and our
    kin, which breeds more fear.
  92. sidewalk campaigning
    Cleanup and paving
    crews show up every 4 years
    before elections.
  93. a time of falling leaves and pumpkin spice and christmas sales
    When does fall start? Ask
    a weather forecaster, a
    poet and a child.
  94. introvert’s paradise
    Coffee and good books,
    jazz and blueberry pancakes.
    Not a soul for miles.
  95. the funniest person online is a pickpocket
    Authorship is dead.
    Digital miscreants take
    anything for fun.
  96. strength in numbness
    My superpowers
    are procrastination and
    working on deadline.
  97. stork 2.0
    A drone came to my
    front door to deliver a
    newborn and cigars.
  98. the decimal decimation
    If we scrimp and save
    and hold off on paying some
    bills, we can eat soon.
  99. a crowded field
    Fall TV endures
    as a launch point and graveyard
    of few sparks, quick ends.
  100. it’s a quiet afternoon at the taco truck
    The cook preps his stuff,
    while another fixes the
    awning. A third drinks.
  101. desperate men call for desperate measures
    The mass of men lead
    lives of quiet despera-
    tion, As they deserve.

• • •

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magnetic fridge poetry

Photo: Steve Johnson (CC)

#sundayread for Sept. 27, 2015

Sunday, September 27th, 2015
Outdoor reading station

Photo: Ze’ev Barkan (CC)

My picks for #sundayread for Sept. 27, 2015:

Don’t miss our new 26-part series:
The Future of Birmingham ★

More posts from Wade this week:

The latest #sundayread tweets

it’s a quiet afternoon at the taco truck

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

The cook preps his stuff,
while another fixes the
awning. A third drinks.

• • •

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The Future of Birmingham: Crowdsourced responses

Saturday, September 26th, 2015

• • •

The Future of BirminghamEssays from other contributors are available in the free ebook, “The Future of Birmingham.”

All you need to do is fill out this simple form. We’ll email you a link to download the book. (And, at no extra charge, we’ll add you to the mailing list for the free Y’all Connect newsletter.)

  • I WANT A FREE BOOK!




• • •

Read more essays in our special 10th anniversary series, The Future of Birmingham.

a crowded field

Saturday, September 26th, 2015

Fall TV endures
as a launch point and graveyard
of few sparks, quick ends.

• • •

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the decimal decimation

Friday, September 25th, 2015

If we scrimp and save
and hold off on paying some
bills, we can eat soon.

• • •

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stork 2.0

Thursday, September 24th, 2015

A drone came to my
front door to deliver a
newborn and cigars.

• • •

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The Future of Birmingham: A media wasteland

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015
Birmingham News

Photo: Ralph Daily (CC)

Local media outlets have seen big changes in their news
operations. But not all the changes have been for the better
for the audience.

Get the full version of this essay in our free ebook.
Details at the end.

Close to a year ago, I gave a talk at a conference here in town about the state of the media. It’s one of the most depressing presentations I’ve ever given.

The Future of BirminghamThe talk has become badly out of date: The news has gotten much worse.

Birmingham, once a small haven for media, is a smoking crater. With each passing year, the crater grows a little wider, a little deeper.

That’s not to slight some of the fine folks left to hold down the fort. The decisions that got us to this ruination were made largely out of state, without regard to subscribers, advertisers, journalists or citizens.

I find that painful to accept as a media consumer, producer, observer and fan.

Local media outlets, whether broadcast, print or Web, have embraced a common playbook: Get eyeballs any way possible. No headline too outrageous, no teaser too wild, no rumor too preposterous. Let us click and bait, for tomorrow we die.

The tyranny of the popular dictates coverage, meaning complete annihilation of watchdog reports on government at every level. Tin-pot mayors from Tarrant to Fairfield, rejoice: Absolutely no one is guarding the henhouse, and better than that, no one cares.

I live in Birmingham proper, but even the city hall coverage here is superficial. While I may know what happens in council meetings, I lack the proper context to understand how it affects me, my wallet, my neighborhood and our future.

We’ve been on this path in Birmingham for a decade or so.

Ten years ago today, on Sept. 23, 2005, my newspaper closed for good. The Birmingham Post-Herald’s death provided a preview of the mass layoffs to come for hundreds upon hundreds of reporters, editors, photographers, copy editors, producers, designers and more.

We see a steady stream of new faces as replacements, cheap disposable labor with no ties to the community. We’re told they’re good at generating content and engaging the audience.

What have we lost in this clumsy transition to all-out digital one-upmanship? That’s the most difficult category to measure, the absence of reportage.

We are completely on our own. And it’s only going to get worse.

I couldn’t do any better. Invest a million dollars into a fantasy news operation I lead, and it would either barely break even or steadily bleed money, even with talented reporters on the cheap. It would gain a small but loyal audience with above-average income, featuring stories that win accolades and awards.

And sooner rather than later, it would fold.

The future of Birmingham is year-round coverage of Alabama and Auburn football, with breaks for viral memes and copy-paste media releases. It’s more airtime for newscasts with lucrative commercials. It’s Sunday-only print editions with 6-day-old news.

It’s the manufacture of outrage and delight to provide dwindling profits for outsider owners, at the expense of an informed citizenry and service as fearless guardians against corrupt government and business.

No one is coming to save us — not newspaper publishers, not partisan bloggers, not seasoned journalists, not Facebook gossipmongers — from our crater of ignorance.

• • •

The Future of BirminghamThe full version of this essay and many more are available in the free ebook, “The Future of Birmingham.”

All you need to do is fill out this simple form. We’ll email you a link to download the book. (And, at no extra charge, we’ll add you to the mailing list for the free Y’all Connect newsletter.)

  • I WANT A FREE BOOK!




• • •

Read more essays in our special 10th anniversary series, The Future of Birmingham.

strength in numbness

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

My superpowers
are procrastination and
working on deadline.

• • •

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the funniest person online is a pickpocket

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2015

Authorship is dead.
Digital miscreants take
anything for fun.

• • •

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The Birmingham channel: Small lives matter

Monday, September 21st, 2015

A look at Birmingham in videos …

The World Cup Champion U.S. Women’s National Team beat Haiti 8-0 on Sunday in front of 35,753 fans at Legion Field, the largest ever for a stand-alone women’s national team match in the Southeast. From U.S. Soccer.

The Guiding Light Church choir of Irondale sings “All Lives Matter” at the Glenn Beck rally. From the Blaze.

Tracia Jones on the runway at Birmingham Fashion Week 2015 (our vertical video of the week). From Tjs D.

Birmingham band String Theory plays covers of “Billie Jean,” “Rollin’ in the Deep” and “Bohemian Rhapsody.” From Alex Cape.

Music video for North Carolina R&B singer-songwriter Steven A. Clark’s “Can’t Have.” From Dustin Lane.

A car on fire in North Birmingham between 18th and 19th Streets North at Ninth Avenue, next to I-20/59. From highlandparkninja.

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson speaks at the Gridiron Men’s Conference in June at Legacy Arena downtown. From Spa Guy.

Hunter College students from New York tour civil rights sites in Atlanta, Montgomery, Selma, Little Rock, Memphis and Birmingham. From Crystal Waterton.

Bob Friedman participates in the 2009 “My Favorite Poem” event at the Alabama School of Fine Arts. From Bob Friedman.

A look at Confederate Motors, 10 years after coming from New Orleans to Birmingham following Hurricane Katrina. From Alabama NewsCenter.

The ROSA robot helps UAB doctors detect the source of seizures in patients with epilepsy. From UAB News.

More than 100 members from motorcycle clubs left Fairfield for a fund-raising ride for sickle-cell disease research. From Dejon Henry.

Landing a small plane at the Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport. From bombud1.

Sanspointe Dance Company performs “An Opening” at its 2015 Dance-a-Bama tour in June at the Dance Foundation in Homewood. From Sanspointe Dance.

A Periscope rant on the All Lives Matter rally. From Nappy Natural Girl.

Mountain Brook Baptist Church’s Stephen Fryrear performs “The Badlands,” the title track off his album of worship songs. From Starnes Publishing.

Driving through downtown Birmingham. From J Utah.

Racing go-karts at the Autobahn Indoor Speedway in Bessemer. From Brandon Cruise.

Birmingham writer Ashley M. Jones wins a $30,000 Rona Jaffe Foundation Writers’ Award (at 2:02). From Rona Jaffe Foundation.

Slice Pizza’s Terrill Brazelton makes pickled shiitake mushrooms (our other vertical video of the week). From Slice Pizza and Brewhouse.

Filming outside the FBI building downtown. From Bama Camera.

Hanging leg raises. From rigorousmedia.

Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck marched with more than 20,000 supporters in August through downtown for his All Lives Matter march. From al.com.

MunaLuchi Bridal City-to-City Tour stops in August at Woodrow Hall in Homewood. From Danny Kang Austin.

Gadsden rapper Big Henry performs in August at the Nick on Southside. From 226 Film Production.

A Periscope video of Yohance Owens of the Village Creek Society (our other other vertical video of the week). From People, Places and Things with Isis M. Jones.

Move-in day for the Class of 2019 at Birmingham-Southern College. From Birmingham-Southern College.

• • •

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