A breeze washes out
the fetid miserable
smell of a heat wave.

• • •

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Enjoy your holiday with this video treat! Our pal Eric, star of the “What It’s Really Like to Work in a Music Store” videos, talked with Mashable recently about becoming an Internet sensation.

When did you start making these videos and why?
About a year ago. I never intended a series ’cause I can’t make this stuff up; it just happens. My friends liked the first one, so I started looking for those kind of situations. They’re rare; it’s like hunting snipe. Don’t ask me about my inspiration.

We posted some of our favorite videos from the series for Labor Day, because as you know, sometimes work sucks.

Video: And on keyboards …

Video: Guitar zero.

Video: “What?”

See more videos from Eric.

The clock ticks down to
5. Drones race to the parking
lot. The clock ticks down.

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Maybe the key to
survival isn’t toughness
but some perspective.

• • •

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Virginia College student selected as part of online contest

Kendal Brown of Northport is one of 14 contestants
competing this fall for the title of “America’s Next Top Model.”

Does Alabama have the look? We’ll see on Wednesday, as the 15th season of “America’s Next Top Model” begins.

Fourteen women will compete in the CW reality TV show, including Kendal Brown, 24, of Northport. A student at Virginia College in Birmingham, Brown graduated from Tuscaloosa County High School in 2004. (During taping, Brown was still 23.)

The winner, who will be crowned in late November, will receive a contract with IMG Models, a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl Cosmetics and appearances in Vogue Italia and Beauty in Vogue.

Brown and fellow contestant Jane Randall landed their spots in the competition thanks to a photo contest on Tyra.com, official website of “Top Model” host Tyra Banks. Brown’s winning photo is shown at right.

Brown’s contestant bio lists a few of her favorites:

• Height: 5-foot-11
• Occupation: unemployed
• Favorite designer: Versace
• Favorite shoe: a comfortable one
• Must-have photo shoot accessory: my man
• Would never wear: animal print
• If trapped on an island, would bring: cell phone

Brown isn’t the first Alabamian to compete on “America’s Next Top Model.” In 2007, Samantha Francis of Pinson and Dionne Walters of Montgomery fought it out in season 8.

Video: “People think that no models are from Alabama,
and I’m here to prove that there are a a lot of them.”

Also:

• Kendal Brown’s Facebook profile.
• Meet the 14 contestants.
• Need more “America’s Next Top Model”?
  • The official DVDs, book and video game. [aff. link]
  • Purchase episodes from all seasons on iTunes. [aff. link]

Brown visits the CW21 station in Birmingham.

• • •

Do you have what it takes … to recap the show for us?
Contact us to apply to be our official recapper.

• • •

“America’s Next Top Model” will air at 7 p.m. Wednesdays on CW21.

• • •

On the runway: more on “America’s Next Top Model.”

Messiness can be
overcome with scrubbing and
stacking and fussing.

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With the 2010 college football season under way as of Thursday night, it’s time to focus on the home teams. (Although UAB started with a home opener loss Thursday to Florida Atlantic, 32-31.)

Check out the full schedules for Alabama’s Division I-A teams …

[Note: Bold – home game; * – conference game]

Alabama
[detailed schedule]

• Saturday: San Jose State
  
• Sept. 11: Penn State
• Sept. 18: Duke
• Sept. 25: Arkansas*
• Oct. 2: Florida*
• Oct. 9: South Carolina*
• Oct. 16: Mississippi*
• Oct. 23: Tennessee*
• Nov. 6: LSU*
• Nov. 13: Mississippi State*
• Nov. 18: Georgia State
• Nov. 26: Auburn*

Auburn
[detailed schedule]

• Saturday: Arkansas State
• Sept. 9: Mississippi State*
• Sept. 18: Clemson
• Sept. 25: South Carolina*
• Oct. 2: Louisiana-Monroe
• Oct. 9: Kentucky*
• Oct. 16: Arkansas*
• Oct. 23: LSU*
• Oct. 30: Mississippi*
• Nov. 6: Chattanooga
• Nov. 13: Georgia*
• Nov. 26: Alabama*

Troy
[detailed schedule]

• Saturday: Bowling Green
  
• Sept. 11: Oklahoma State
• Sept. 18: UAB
• Sept. 25: Arkansas State*
• Oct. 5: Middle Tennessee State*
• Oct. 16: Louisiana–Lafayette*
• Oct. 30: Louisiana–Monroe*
• Nov. 6: North Texas*
• Nov. 13: Florida International*
• Nov. 20: South Carolina
• Nov. 27: Western Kentucky*
• Dec. 4: Florida Atlantic*

UAB
[detailed schedule]

• Thursday: Florida Atlantic
• Sept. 11: SMU*
• Sept. 18: Troy
• Sept. 25: Tennessee
• Oct. 6: UCF*
• Oct. 16: UTEP*
• Oct. 23: Mississippi State
• Oct. 30: Southern Miss*
• Nov. 6: Marshall*
• Nov. 11: East Carolina*
• Nov. 20: Memphis*
• Nov. 27: Rice*

Also:

• Tailgating, the Magic City way

Photo: justjennifer, Creative Commons 2.0

Persistence sometimes
pays off, when it comes to love
and nonstop tweeting.

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The heart keeps racing
long after the terror has
subsided. Fear wins.

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One breath means yes, two
breaths mean no. But ongoing
breaths mean confusion.

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Beyond the madness,
tears and wreckage, the world is
really beautiful.

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Time to go after
one last kiss. Time to find the
last one true soulmate.

• • •

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To be unknown in
a public age, suspect for
remaining subtle.

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Call. No answer. Call.
Voicemail. E-mail. No reply.
Avoidance as game.

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1. The only political or social cause you’ve ever been involved with was to legalize stronger beer. (@david_carter)
2. You can’t stop wishing corruption didn’t kill City Stages. #didanybody’schecknotbounce? (@sandybirmingham)
3. You’ve never used public transportation in Birmingham. (@bwdaly)
4. You go to a “meat n’ three” because someone said that they have “good vegetables.” (@rebecca_morrow)
5. Your panhandler rides a nicer bike than yours. (@WadeOnTweets)
6. You think Surin is a really nice restaurant. (@Iva4Gov)
7. You’re a judge with a law degree from an unaccredited law school. (@bwdaly)
8. You can do an impression of Bill Bolen saying “Momma.” (@bwdaly)
9. You are sitting around trying to think up clever sayings for #You’reSoBirminghamIf. (@filamentartists)
10. You say “Vulcan” and not “The Vulcan.” (@CreekRat)
11. You’ve never lived in a real city and don’t understand how bad things are here. (@bwdaly)
12. You used to drink beer at Norm’s. (@CreekRat)
13. You grew up 30+ miles out in the suburbs, but still claim the ‘ham as your “hometown.” (@feralparakeet)
14. You know the truth of Birmingham retail: If you can’t park and see it, the shop is unlikely to survive. (@politicalparlor)
15. You’ve ever wanted to get the clippers after James Spann’s hair to shave that little center part off. (@StaceyHood)
16. You bought your 205 jersey at a yard sale or Goodwill. (@WadeOnTweets)
17. You voted for Ruben, Bo and Taylor. 🙂 (@sandybirmingham)
18. You constantly tell people how awesome Birmingham is, even though you know it’s a lie. (@david_carter)
19. You don’t know how to get over the mountain without using 65 or 31/280. (@bwdaly)
20. You can drive from downtown to the Inverness Target without getting on 280. (@piercingwit)
21. Anyone you ever elected went to jail. (@WadeOnTweets)
22. You discussed how sad you were when the Stallions and the Fire folded, but you never went to a game. (@MellowBHAM)
23. You wish the Iron Bowl was moved back to Legion Field. (@Iva4Gov)
24. You’ve always wanted copies of the Legion Field lions to guard your driveway. (@theCapNdavid)
25. You’re one of the badasses from @BAAMfest who proved you don’t need the city government to put on a successful festival. (@bwdaly)
26. You have to fly through a hub in Atlanta, Memphis, Houston, etc. to get to the West Coast. (@Iva4Gov)
27. You judge the severity of severe weather by how James Spann is dressed. (Coat off, sleeves up: Better pay attention!) (@kristenmstewart)
28. You went to an all-white or all-black school. (@bwdaly)
29. Your only political trope is race. (@bwdaly)
30. You’ve ever heard slot machines described as part of the civil rights movement. (@chris_depew)
31. You prefer faith to knowledge. (@bwdaly)
32. You’ve had a supermarket checkout person refuse to sell you beer at 11:53 a.m. on a Sunday. (@messyepicure)
33. You remember going to Century Plaza! (@briancauble)
34. Your megachurch has its own ZIP code. (@WadeOnTweets)
35. You’ve dressed up as a former Jefferson County commissioner for Halloween. (@UrbanPat)
36. You confess to friends that your parents were racists … “but I’m not!” (@collirp)
37. You pick a lunch place solely based on its dancing sign guy. (@WadeOnTweets)
38. You have a favorite Mike Royer hairpiece. (@joey__t)
39. You kill the messenger. (@bwdaly)
40. You believe “progress” requires the destruction of our history. (@tbdcreativeinc)
41. You don’t valet. (@Iva4Gov)
42. You’ve moved out of the city, but still keep whining about its leaders. (@seankelley)
43. The compass on your iPhone points toward Vulcan. (@andyspain)
44. You have hope and work for change despite the naysayers. (@bikeskirt)
45. You are so paranoid about what outsiders think you can’t laugh at your own expense. (@chris_depew)
46. You drink Grapico and Buffalo Rock. (@Iva4Gov)
47. The new Bass Pro Shops store is a destination for you. (@aathu)
48. You look forward to seeing what Mickey Ferguson is going to do on Halloween! (@Iva4Gov)
49. Your life was enhanced by Cecil Whitmire. (@bwdaly)
50. You do that ghetto “Electric Slide” to every damn song. (@yendisak)
51. You know not to read the comments on AL.com. (@Owsley9)
52. You go off-roading on unpaved city streets. (@WadeOnTweets)
53. You know Marty and Ona really well. (@aathu)
54. You whine that criticism is part of the problem. (@bwdaly)
55. You can’t find the humor in the negatives. (@filamentartists)
56. You use Dale’s Steak Seasoning. (@Iva4Gov)
57. You have no idea of the pernicious effect of college football on Alabama’s public university system. (@bwdaly)
58. You remember seeing Survivor @WrightCenterSU. (@WrightCenterSU)
59. You’ve known or met at least two people that have worked for EBSCO. (@rebecca_morrow)
60. You whine about metro traffic but would never dream of taking a bus. (@AR_Kirby)
61. Your favorite sports team is at the college level or below. (@khcreative)
62. You pop a woody every time a new chain store or chain restaurant opens. (@bwdaly)
63. You helped elect Larry Langford mayor without a runoff. (@bwdaly)
64. You grew up wanting to live in the big city and ended up in Birmingham. (@WadeOnTweets)
65. You recognize something good must be afoot, if the naysayers come out play. (@Owsley9)
66. You wish the Birmingham Barons played more games at Rickwood (and actually in Birmingham). (@politicalparlor)
67. You’d drive downtown for hockey but not to Hoover for baseball. (@WadeOnTweets)
68. You’re generous. Birmingham is ranked as the most charitable city in the United States! http://bit.ly/aEiJXW (@alabamapossible)
69. You have the front of Vulcan as your view instead of the butt. (@motionmind)
70. You confuse tourists needing directions and say, “Follow me …” (@aathu)
71. You know the steam table at Fife’s. Yum. #ILoveBirmingham (@Jerry_Griffies)
72. You remember when Dreamland only had ribs, white bread and sauce. (@StaceyHood)
73. You’ve ever spent a week’s pay on a tailgate party. (@chris_depew)
74. Your political campaign has distributed flyers calling your opponent an Uncle Tom. (@bwdaly)
75. You give and understand directions that are nothing but numbers: 31, 280, 459, 150, 119 … (@KnowTea)
76. You write a blog post for @aldotcom about this hashtag. http://ow.ly/2vmWd (@KristenHeptin)
77. You’re addicted to Milo’s sweet tea. (@aathu)
78. You are a struggling freelancer. (@filamentartists)
79. You learn that you and the person you just met have seven mutual acquaintances. (@AR_Kirby)
80. Your “minister” was part of Richard Scrushy’s Amen Mafia. (@bwdaly)
81. You miss Ollie’s barbecue. (@DrNemoJr)
82. You have no sense of irony. (@bwdaly)
83. Everybody in your circle is banging one another. (@yendisak)
84. You think Pam Huff has been on TV for too long. (@aathu)
85. Your parking meter is actually a sawed-off pole. (@WadeOnTweets)
86. You are sick and tired of hearing the word “potential.” (@filamentartists)
87. Your sewer bill could pay for clean drinking water for three African villages. (@sandybirmingham)
88. Most of your tweets are about shopping. (@bwdaly)
89. Everyone you know — grannies, hippies and pastors included — is in at least one football pool. (@chris_depew)
90. You don’t tell your customers who you pull for in the Iron Bowl because you don’t want them to hold this against you. (@APPRAISALSOURCE)
91. You have a favorite BBQ joint, sports talk show, hot dog place, high-grav brew and wing shack. (@WadeOnTweets)
92. You had a dream last night featuring Jim Skinner. (I did.) (@bwdaly)
93. Your former mayor is a shopping addict. And is now in jail. (@cmhallua)
94. You only spend money in the Lakeview District drinking. (@aathu)
95. You buy sweet tea at the grocery store. (@juliesenter)
96. You’ve ever felt sick when you heard someone say “the neighborhood changed” and realized what they meant. (@glennybrock)
97. You call Pam Huff “Ham Puff.” (@bwdaly)
98. You have more square feet of TV than linear feet of books. (@bwdaly)
99. You aspire to live in Hoover. (@aathu)
100. You jus’ got you one o’ nem “tweeter pages.” (@aathu)
101. You ignore the fact that most of the city’s population is poor and struggling, while you just care about lunch/bars/events. (@david_carter)

The full list of #YoureSoBirminghamIf tweets from Aug. 26, 2010.

• • •

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